Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, December 10, 2010

Haliburton to Bribe the Nigerian Government out of Dick Cheney's Bribery Charges


Halliburton is attempting to pay $500 million to the Nigerian government to settle bribery charges that could keep the company's former CEO Dick Cheney out of prison, that is to say that Haliburton is trying to bribe the Nigerian government out of Dick Cheney's bribery charges.

The fact that Halliburton appears to be attempting an out-of-court settlement puzzles some analysts, who note that criminal courts don’t normally allow monetary settlements, leading some to believe that "Halliburton and the other accused companies are attempting to bribe their way out of a bribery prosecution," reports.

If nothing else, this proves that Nigeria's court system has a stronger grasp of reality than it's American counterpart.


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At Fri Dec 10, 10:58:00 AM, Blogger Tengrain said...

Yeah, and because Haliburton made literally billions of dollars in Nigeria from that deal, the $500M is like a rounding error on their spreadsheets.

Poor Cheney though, he won't be able to vacation there again.



At Fri Dec 10, 01:06:00 PM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Vincent Schiavelli!

At Sat Dec 11, 06:51:00 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Your sign is so good, that it gave me nightmares. I take it then that Apes are psychic prognosticators as well? Or just interdimensional time travellers?

At Sun Dec 12, 06:17:00 AM, Blogger Guye said...

More hideous than Yoyodyne

At Sun Dec 12, 01:03:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Red Lectroid anti-defamation league vehemently objects to being compared to Dick Cheney!

At Mon Dec 13, 11:17:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Tengrain: The wages of sin are actually quite profitable, it would seem! ;o)

Randal Graves: Indeed! In all his splendor. ;o)

Seeing Eye Chick: Both! (I am very busy and important, you know.) ;o)

Guye: Yes, and the acting is worse. ;o)

RepubAnon: And you would think that it would be more difficult to give Red Lectroids a bad name... ;o)


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