Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Bush administration's worst fear in Iraq: "a platoon of lesbians"

'Rep. Gary Ackerman: For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are against terrorists. They’re very brave with the terrorists, and if the terrorists ever got ahold of this information, they’d get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad.'

Representative Gary Ackerman (D-NY) recently let slip the Achilles' heel of the Bush administration's Iraq policy.

A congressman from New York on Wednesday jokingly suggested the Bush administration may fear a "platoon of lesbians" more than terrorists in Baghdad, given the military’s resistance to letting gays openly serve.

Rep. Gary Ackerman’s criticism of Pentagon policy came as Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice testified before the House Foreign Affairs Committee. Ackerman, a New York City Democrat, complained to Rice that the military had fired Arabic and Farsi translators after learning the translators were gay.

"For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are against terrorists. They’re very brave with the terrorists, and if the terrorists ever got ahold of this information, they’d get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad," said Ackerman, prompting laughter in the hearing room. Yahoo News

In response to this recent revelation, lesbians across the nation are preparing to storm Iraq and drive the American military back to the United States. Among the first wave to arrive on the Iraqi shores are the members of the crew of the pirate ship the Mound, led by Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen. Before the voyage, Inigo, one of the ship's crew members was quoted as saying, "Aye, their worst fears be people of color lesbians in great screaming hordes!!! aargh!! lesbians who be havin’ abortions!!! aargh!!!"

Aye, their worst fears be people of color lesbians in great screaming hordes!!! aargh!! lesbians who be havin’ abortions!!! aargh!!!

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6 Comments:

At Sun Feb 11, 02:04:00 AM, Blogger Becca said...

Seems to me a platoon of sexy lesbians might help them improve their recruitment numbers.

 
At Sun Feb 11, 09:21:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Actually, I am sure that you are right about that. I am sure that our fighting men (and some of the women!) would find that intriguing, to say the least.

But based on Ackerman's quote, it does create a humorous metaphor for the administration's ridiculous behavior. The issue about linguists is very real. Firing men and women for their sexual orientation when we are desperately short of translators right now is not a good example of setting your priorities straight.

The image of an administration that is brought to it's knees by a "platoon of sexy lesbians" is hilarious!

 
At Mon Feb 12, 10:26:00 PM, Anonymous Cap'n Dyke said...

Me Darlin' Sawbones, ye be th'simian I love (please sing this t' that age-old favourite "The One That I Love" from th'human docudrama,'Grease'). ;)

 
At Tue Feb 13, 03:27:00 AM, Blogger genexs said...

Herstory repeats itself: wasn't it the explorer Richard Burton (the 'search for the nile' one, not the drunk actor one) that wrote about lesbian pirates in his translation of 'the arabian nights'? Or maybe the 'the perfumed garden'? Arrr! Shiver my timber, what a great expedition!

 
At Tue Feb 13, 08:15:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Cap'n: Please restrain yourself, Madam! As Minister of Science and Chief Defender of the Faith, I cannot be seen exchanging public displays of affection that involve discussions of romantic seventies movies. I might get all sentimental and wobbly, and that would never do for a pompous, over-inflated public servant like myself. I have a phoney-balony reputation to maintain, after all. Anyway, Olivia Newton John and I are an item....In my dreams, anyway. (Grease is still the word.)

Genexs: I know you - you were the guy that liked the "damned hippy" story! Lesbian pirates in the "the Arabian Nights?" That explains what Scheherazade was doing with her nurse after her long drawn out stories would put King Shahryar to sleep! Ray Harryhausen is probably turning in his grave.

 
At Tue Feb 13, 09:55:00 PM, Anonymous Cap'n Dyke said...

Me Sawbones Z, aye, but ye be me pompous, over-inflated public servant. Live with it, Me Bucko! ;)

ONJ, eh?

 

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