After a chilly reception to his new proposed budget, President Bush appeared on "American Idol"
to help sell his new agenda. Amid gales of laughter, Bush sang about his new budget while dressed as an Oompah Loompah, the beloved mindless drones from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."
"I wanted the people to see how I feel about them." Said Bush. "I wanted the workers of America to see that I am just like one of them. Oompah Loompah's are hard workers! And they don't complain when you take away their rights. Also, because they are from indiscriminate origins, they fit right into my immigration reform agenda."
Not all of the audience agreed with the president's representation of the American worker. "What is he, a freaking idiot? Do I look like a godamn Oompah Loompah to you?" Said Irene Steinburg of the Steel Workers Union.
Before bush sang, he explained some of his new proposed budget for the audience in a brief introduction.
"We must protect the tax cuts for my wealthy friends, AND pay for the war on the terror in Iraq that my party and I have created. It will only involve a few deep but necessary cut in the budgets of a few departments, such as the Department of Agriculture, Department of Commerce, Department of Defense, Department of Education, Department of Energy, Environmental Protection Agency, Department of Health & Human Services, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Housing & Urban Development, Department of Interior, Department of Justice, Department of Labor, NASA, Department of State, Department of Transportation, Department of the Treasury, and the Department of Veterans Affairs.
(Support the troops!)"
The show's judges reaction to the President's presentation were met with both skepticism and disdain. The lyrics of the song that the president sang did seem to lack a sense of rhythm and style;
Oompa Loompa Doompadee Doo
I've Got A budget solution For You
Oompa Loompa, Doompadah Dee
Fund My Failed War and Tax Cuts for the Rich
With Deep Reductions to Social Welfare Programs...
"Wow! The president is even more of a moron than I had first suspected. His budget does not have even a passing acquaintance with the rules of logic, and his outfit was atrocious!" said American Idol judge Simon Cowell. Fellow judge Paula Abdul agreed. "His song didn't even rhyme! There is no way you could dance to that number. And his hair, he looked like a muppet!" Said Abdul.
At the end of the performance the Secret Service had their hand full as a group of angry villagers bearing pitchforks entered the auditorium and demanded that the president apologize for his bloated, self-serving budget, ridiculous outfit, his poor singing and for interrupting their favorite TV program to talk about political issues.
"Jeez, if I was interested in politics, I would be watching C-SPAN!" Said an unamed angry villager with a pitchfork. "It's not like Bush really matters anymore, anyway. Everyone hates him! We want to hear from someone that's rational and can hold a beat, like Speaker Nancy Pelosi...and that other guy, what's his name?"
"I'm just happy that the people liked my performance," Said Bush. "I like being on TV, making friends with the peoples. I'm just doing what I do best."Washington Post: FY 2007 Budget: Agency-by-Agency Breakdownprnewswire.com: DNC: Bush's Budget DeceptionAngry Bear: Bush talks small government, but his budgets are huge!