Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Thong Ban Leaves Teen Out of the Fashion Loop


My friend George from the godless minds-eye meatloaf mindscapes of the Golden State of Californication sent me this:

Dear Miss Manners: I am an average 14-year-old girl who has a problem. My mom won't let me wear thong underwear, and it is the kind I want to wear. My friends make fun of me for not wearing that type. I was wondering if you could help me convince my mom and tell her it is all right to wear them.

Gentle Reader: Of all the advice columnists in the world, you chose Miss Manners as the most likely one to support the cause of thong underwear? And you wonder why your mother questions your judgment?

I must agree with Miss Manners. 14 years old is far too young to be wearing thong underwear. But you are never to young for Happy Underpants!


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At Tue Jun 03, 01:33:00 PM, Blogger Bradda said...

Happy Underpants offer so much more in the way of support than a thong EVER gave me.

At Tue Jun 03, 02:00:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Miss Manners is a wonder. I, too, am all for happy pants. I bet my life would improve immensely if I did my gardening in happy pants.

At Tue Jun 03, 03:20:00 PM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

I must beg to differ.

If you put a 14 year old girl in ugly underpants, she will want to get out of them very quickly. Conversely, she will keep the cute underwear on her body.

I saw a girl at the pool the other day who was probably eight. She had applied a temporary tattoo to her lower back. Now that I would not allow.

At Tue Jun 03, 03:50:00 PM, Blogger CDP said...

I must agree with Miss Manners (another example of why she's so great), although Ms. Wundrun makes an excellent point

At Tue Jun 03, 05:09:00 PM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

Happy Underpants are useless.

The Monkey/Love campaign suggests that there is no need for underwear at all.

At Tue Jun 03, 11:38:00 PM, Blogger Freida Bee said...

Call me a bad and overly graphic mom. My dying Republican Mom bought my daughters their first thong underwears. I have set the example of men's boxers, but it just didn't take. That Miss Manners says it like it should be..., but isn't.

I've decided not to restrict my daughters on what they wear, but what they do. That pic, with the purple undershorts. That is the length of girls shorts this year. In fact, I may recognize her from an American Apparel ad, my 15 year-old's favorite clothier. Yep, I do.

At Wed Jun 04, 01:33:00 AM, Blogger Swinebread said...

Thong underwear can give you a rash

it's true

At Wed Jun 04, 08:25:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Want to frighten the youngsters away from these things? Tell them John McCain wears thong underwear.

At Wed Jun 04, 09:30:00 AM, Blogger mwb said...

Federal law forbids me from wearing a thong.

Something about vast spikes in the numbers of atheists ("There is NO God!")

At Wed Jun 04, 12:03:00 PM, OpenID theardentthread said...

My daughter (14) owns one pair of red lace thong underwear that someone other than myself caved in and bought for her. She wore it once and said it was uncomfortable. I laughed. I did buy her a pair of those black and white striped stockings recently, though. I think they're cute.

However, since I'm soon to be single again myself, I'm working on getting my ass to look good in a thong. I've been sitting at my desk waaaay too long.

At Wed Jun 04, 03:13:00 PM, Blogger Bradda said...

Your a sick bastard I'm going to have nightmares!

At Wed Jun 04, 07:16:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

The thong. It is just uncomfortable to me.

Happy Underpants - there is no other way.

Happy Underpants all around!

At Thu Jun 05, 10:13:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Bradda: This is true! Happy Underpants are very supportive. And they are machine washable!

Utah Savage: Not only would your life improve immensely if you did your gardening in Happy Underpants, but your neighbors would all offer to help you mulch!

Jess Wundrun: Hmm... I am not one to argue with a mom that is knowledgeable of the ways of the 'tween' world, but if cute underwear is the ticket to salvation, then I ask you - what could be cuter than Happy Underpants? (And lower back tattoo are ridiculous, temporary or not.)

CDP: Indeed! They are both wise advisers of great magnificence.

GETkristiLOVE: Indeed? That would mean that the logic of the Monkey/Love campaign's position on underpants is about as substantial as the rest of their campaign promises - that is, non-existent.

Freida Bee: Ha! There is the true cause of the underpants sadness in the world - Republicans! Happy Underpants are mankind's only salvation.

Swinebread: True! There is no need for Calamine Lotion with Happy Underpants!

Randal Graves: Eek! Randal, there is no need to frighten the voters. The election is scary enough!

MWB: Ha! Good one. So you are the cause of the godless hordes... The Hagee monster will smite you!

The Ardent Thread: No need for dismay! Happy Underpants always look good! And stockings are indeed a godsend, black and white striped or otherwise.

Bradda: I agree. Randal definitely stepped way over the lines of good taste.

FranIAm: Yay! Happy Underpants all around! Bless you, FranIAm, you are a true believer!


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