Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

EXXON John's McCain-i-Os: Finally a Cereal That You Can Believe In!

Chock full of vitamins! (If you eat it with fruit.)
Enriched with calcium! (If you eat it with milk.)
Enhanced with carbohydrates! (If you eat it with toast.)
Loaded with fiber! (If you eat the box...)

...And rich in iron - if you eat the spoon!

Some unsettling of campaign content may occur during shipping. Freshest if eaten before June, 1953. The candidate has been briefed on questions before the show. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or unnecessary declaration of war. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone that has not made substantial campaign donations. Not approved for veterans. This information is subject to change without notice. (Pull candidate's finger only in well-ventilated area.)

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At Wed Aug 13, 09:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll just stick with my cup of coffee and Fiber One cereal bar, thanks.

At Wed Aug 13, 10:28:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

I'll stick with a big bowl of Colon Blow.

At Wed Aug 13, 10:30:00 AM, Blogger Unconventional Conventionist said...

Loaded with vitamn GRRRRRRR! Extra nasty for no extra charge!

At Wed Aug 13, 10:40:00 AM, Blogger Übermilf said...

Someone on another blog suggested, "Why don't McCain and Bush just get a room!"

While I know that was meant metaphorically, I still can't get that disturbing image out of my mind.

Do you have any suggestions to help rid me of the nightmares?

At Wed Aug 13, 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

Eat some McCain-i-o's! They'll get rid of any problem. Since you'll die from eating them.

At Wed Aug 13, 11:36:00 AM, Blogger niCk (Mem Beth) said...

What a great nickname for McCain: Exxon John.

I'm totally using it from now on.

I sure that cereal will give you high blood pressure and "Bung-hole Itch"

At Wed Aug 13, 11:50:00 AM, Blogger Spirula said...

They're particularly good with a quart of Quaker State 30W.

At Wed Aug 13, 12:23:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

I'll stick with chocolate cake and ice cream with my latte for breakfast. It's every bit as good as colon blow.

At Wed Aug 13, 03:27:00 PM, Blogger okjimm said...

He shoots..... he scores!

Good one!

At Wed Aug 13, 05:40:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Reminds me of the SNL parody "Quarry", where the family got lots of minerals (and broken teeth) through breakfast cereal that was completely comprised of rocks and gravel.

At Wed Aug 13, 06:21:00 PM, Blogger Bradda said...

Extra Jesus stuff, arrgrgghhh! I wonder if they sell this is Checkloslavakia?

At Wed Aug 13, 06:53:00 PM, Blogger Odile said...

With that cereal... mmmm I prefere my ham and eggs with an apple:the winners breakfast

At Thu Aug 14, 09:17:00 AM, Blogger Mary Ellen said...

Hey, ya big Ape, I just tagged you with an award on my blog. Get your hairy ass over there and read it, kiddo. ;-)

At Thu Aug 14, 09:39:00 PM, Blogger BAC said...

Darn ... I should have worn my glasses when reading this ... if I had, I might not have pulled his finger in the elevator ... yikes!


At Fri Aug 15, 09:53:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

DCup: Coffee, yes! Fiber One cereal bar, Hmmm... Maybe if we put some sugar and butter on it...

Dean Wormer: Really? To each his own, I guess.

Unconventional Conventionist: Yes! Plenty of"GRRRRRRR!"

Übermilf: Chocolate cake, of course! It cures all ills.

Randal Graves: Indeed! Our soldiers are even dying from when congressmen eat the stateside. :o)

niCk (Mem Beth): I got "Exxon John" from Crooks & Liars. :o)

Spirula: Mmm... Quaker State! Extra slippery.

Utah Savage: Chocolate cake and ice cream - Now that's what I call breakfast!

OKJimm: Thanks, OKJimm! :o)

Comrade Kevin: Ha! I remember that skit!

Bradda: Now with Extra Jesus stuff! Just ask the religious right! We've got to solve this Czechoslovakia no-longer-existing problem before it becomes an issue!

Odile: Hmm, ham and eggs with an apple... Apple pie? ;o)

Mary Ellen: Yay! Thank you, Sister Mary Ellen! :o)

BAC: Ack! You pulled his finger in an elevator? I'll bet it singed your eyebrows!

At Sat Aug 16, 04:51:00 AM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

did cindy invent the recipe?

At Mon Aug 18, 01:30:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

No - Her people found it on the internet!


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