Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rachel Ray Knows What I Want!

As unprofessional as it might seem for a presidential candidate to admit this sort of thing, I feel strongly that I must say that I have grown quite fond of the bewitching Rachel Ray. I find that she and I speak on the same level, enjoy the same intellectual pastimes, and are deeply and spiritually attuned on certain scholarly subjects. It was not the delightful corn de-stringing video [ 2 ] that a friend sent me that caught my attention, but Ms. Ray's charming and intellectual commentary about various eating establishments that she graced us with in this delightful video.

I was immediately captivated her expressive articulation, and spellbound by her dramatic command of the language. Clearly this is a genuinely cerebral woman that understands the very depths of my inner soul!

I must admit that previously I have been remiss in the Rachel Ray Department. I did an entire post about the growing American Dunkin' Donuts/keffiyeh crisis and did not even mention her name, even though she was the immediate focus of Michelle Malkin's ridiculous vitriolic.

I have corrected this grievious error on my part by watching Ms. Ray's television program this morning. On the program she had the actors from the film Watchmen as guests, then she did makeover for two women to make them look older, and then came the the important part of the program - she prepared food! That's what I call television.

Now, I know that Ms. Ray has many critics and detractors that are envious of her many accomplishments and intellectual prowess. To them I say, Fiddlesticks! clearly Ms. Ray is a misunderstood visionary for a new age, with the ability to set fire to the imagination of people around the world. And she cooks!

Ms. Jill Hunter Pellettieri of Slate Magazine wrote a most worthy article on the subject, "Rachael Ray: Why food snobs should quit picking on her." But perhaps Ms. Ray says it best in her own words:

Rachael Ray tells In Touch that she has one thing to say to critics who run web sites like IHateRachaelRay: "You're right!" In an exclusive interview, Rachael says she understands why some find her annoying. "Most of the people who criticize me are absolutely correct," she says. "I'm loud. I'm goofy. I don't make my own pierogies. But what am I going to do, call them up and fight with them? You don't deal with the people who don't like you. I don't work for them."

Rachael blames the backlash on the fact that she spends time in people's homes every day through her show. "That's an intimate connection," she explains. "If you try to be something you're not, people will see through it." She isn't concerned about how she looks, either. "I haven't been on a scale since I was 12," Rachael says. For exercise, she does "the bare minimum so I can feel good enough to work: sit-ups and push-ups. I'm not an actress, I'm a cook. I'm sure I have been five or six different sizes since I have been on television, but I don't care.

Anybody that can piss off Jim Cramer on a daily basis is OK by me.

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At Wed Mar 11, 05:19:00 PM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

I don't love her, or hate her but I couldn't stop watching the video. I had to see how it ended.

At Wed Mar 11, 08:45:00 PM, Blogger Bubs said...


I might have to reconsider Ms. Ray and stop referring to her in Anthony Bourdain's words as "a bobblehead".

At Wed Mar 11, 09:05:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

I'm so resistant to liking her that I refuse to watch the video. How does Germaine like Ms Ray? Ms Ray makes me long for a shotgun. Well, truth be told I've had that longing longer than Ms Ray is old. The only thing I like about her is her plump thighs and her knock Knees. She has a bit of a belly too. Maybe I like her more than I thought I did.... And she cooks, you say? What time is dinner?

At Thu Mar 12, 08:27:00 AM, Blogger CDP said...

Well, I haven't always been her biggest fan, but if she's disliked by Cramer AND Bourdain, she can't be all bad, right?

At Thu Mar 12, 09:22:00 AM, Blogger TF said...

I either hate that woman or I'm in love with her too.
I'm... confused?

At Thu Mar 12, 10:12:00 AM, Blogger Michael Hart said...

I eschew RR in all circumstances, but I generally have the courage of a savage, so I watched the videos. Being humiliated by an "ear" of corn is not my cup of tea, but any pie delivery system is just fine by me.

Her "ability to set fire to to the imagination" may say a lot more about her cooking ability than you're willing to admit to, Doc, but, ya know, whatever burns your skirt up. . .

At Thu Mar 12, 10:36:00 AM, Blogger Randal Graves said...

She's far too perky to be around more than ten minutes, but oh, let her be around me for those ten.

At Thu Mar 12, 05:42:00 PM, Blogger Jess Wundrun said...

She offers pie, but what of cake? THREE slices, Dr.?

At Thu Mar 12, 05:55:00 PM, Blogger Tengrain said...

Years ago she did some silly show on travel, something like eating on $25/day. And the thing that was great about it was that she always went over the budget limit, giggled, and ordered the chocolate (or whatever), anyway.

She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't I ever watched her show to learn how to make anything.



At Thu Mar 12, 09:30:00 PM, Blogger Liberality said...

I see her books on cooking at the library and I notice that people check them out but that is the extent of my knowledge about Ms. Ray. I have no burning curiosity concerning her you could say.

At Fri Mar 13, 11:05:00 AM, Blogger darkblack said...

'Once you've had ape, romance might take shape.'


At Fri Mar 13, 12:28:00 PM, Blogger Übermilf said...

Whenever someone reaches a certain level of success, people will inevitably say, "Why should SHE be there?"

But she's there because she's not threatening or intimidating or snobby.

I don't mind Bourdain, but when he eats pig intestines from a street vendor in Thailand, that's not something I can identify with personally in my own life.

When Rachel Ray finds something new to do with ground beef, well...

At Fri Mar 13, 12:40:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

Oh, admit it--it's all about the pie, isn't it?

At Sat Mar 14, 02:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rachel Ray - I dunno, could lead to show business

At Sat Mar 14, 09:57:00 AM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

I avoid her like the plague.

At Sat Mar 14, 07:33:00 PM, Blogger JustJoeP said...

Ok, yum! Thank you Dr.Z for this lovely video. I was captivated by it - and have linked to it as well.

At Sun Mar 15, 02:01:00 PM, Blogger The Hermit said...

Zaius, I must disagree. Ms. Ray has been overexposed and let's not forget her connection to the Oprah. Giada Delaurentis is of much higher quality food erotica.

At Sun Mar 15, 07:28:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love her. And Hey Dr if she loves me back maybe I git dinner!

At Tue Mar 17, 10:58:00 AM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

You just like her because of her banana cream pie recipe.

At Wed Mar 18, 08:58:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

GETkristiLOVE: Me too! I couldn't stop watching the video either! I was spellbound. She really speaks my language!

Bubs: Indeed! Who is this Bourdain fellow, anyway? **hrumph**

Utah Savage: That's the spirit! Who can argue when dinner is about to be served? :o)

CDP: I have become entraced by her culinary prowess, I must admit. But if she is disliked by Jim Cramer, she's OK by me!

TF: Hmm... A difficult decision. Try the muffins!

Michael Hart: Your skeptism is obviously deep rooted, but might I suggest that you reconsider your position. Try the muffins!

Randal Graves: That's silly! Chocolate cake and ice cream takes more than ten minutes.

Jess Wundrun: He hee! You know me all too well, Jess. :o)

Tengrain: Hmm... Who needs a sharp knife when a butter knife will do?

Liberality: Ah! So she is indeed a celebrity among the literary crowd. No burning curiosity on your part, however? Try the muffins! :o)

Darkblack: Indeed! Orangutan world leaders from the future are very romantic creatures. ;o)

Übermilf: Ah, Übermilf, you are a true believer! and who wants to eat Thai pig intestines when you can have stuffed bell peppers!?!?

Dguzman: Certainly not! It's also about the cake! ;o)

Jang-chub Ozer: Show business - That's your speciality!

Comrade Kevin: Your loss, good sir.

JustJoeP: Yay! Thanks, JustJoeP! :o)

Zoey and Me: Yay! I hope that you get dessert!

Dean Wormer: That's not true! I like her recipe for pecan pie as well. :o)


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