Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Very Well Put, I Must Say...

 

I AM AN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE ASSHOLE:
this morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issed by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.
 

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17 Comments:

At Sun Aug 09, 09:11:00 AM, Blogger Sidhe said...

Perfect!

 
At Sun Aug 09, 09:50:00 AM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Spec-fucking-Tacular!

Goddamn Genius I Say!

 
At Sun Aug 09, 09:59:00 AM, Blogger Maria Langer said...

This is indeed brilliant.

 
At Sun Aug 09, 10:31:00 AM, Blogger Mauigirl said...

So good! It makes the point.

Reminds me of the idiots at townhalls who yell that the "government should keep its hands off my Medicare!"

 
At Sun Aug 09, 10:42:00 AM, Blogger ZedWord said...

Huzzah!

 
At Sun Aug 09, 12:39:00 PM, Blogger Seeing Eye Chick said...

Govt should keep their hands off my medicare?

Isnt that like telling Santa to keep his hands off your Xmas?

 
At Sun Aug 09, 12:56:00 PM, Blogger Utah Savage said...

Well here I am to say once again, "What the Seeing Eye Chick said."

Well done!

 
At Sun Aug 09, 03:55:00 PM, Blogger ZIRGAR said...

Yeah, well just as long as Obama's fascistic, grandma killing socialist "death panel" agenda doesn't get pushed through, that's all that matters. He's black, ya know...

 
At Sun Aug 09, 07:32:00 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

why do you hate socialists so much?

 
At Sun Aug 09, 08:24:00 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I want to see people who hate gov't take off for someplace like somalia where they will have neither the intervention nor the benefits of the common good. I'm sure they'll fare just beautifully.

 
At Mon Aug 10, 03:08:00 PM, Blogger aironlater said...

Every morning, I peruse the Fox"Nation" website to see what the crazies are up to. In the thread about Palin's assurances that Obama is going to kill all conservative babies, men over the age of 47 who voted in at least 3 Republican primaries over the last 5 years, slaughter buffalo and bald-eagles and make Peggy Noonan drink the blood, blow up the new Yankee stadium so there can be a monument to George Soros built in its stead, and make out with the leader of Hamas on live TV next July 4th, I noticed that a commenter had posted this same thing. The good people that call Fox"Nation" their home were not pleased with this - at all. It provided a hearty laugh for my day, which I greatly needed.

 
At Mon Aug 10, 10:20:00 PM, Blogger susan said...

I loved the old lady at the town hall meeting who yelled, 'I don't want the government's lousy hands on my Medicare'. What can you say?

 
At Tue Aug 11, 04:41:00 PM, Blogger Comrade Kevin said...

Now, now, who really believes in critical thinking these days?

 
At Tue Aug 11, 05:38:00 PM, Blogger Zoey and Me said...

I wish someone would read this at one of those hot townhall meetings.

 
At Wed Aug 12, 09:40:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Sidhe: That's what I thought, Sidhe!

Seeing Eye Chick: That's what I thought, Seeing Eye Chick!

Maria Langer: That's what I thought, Maria Langer!

Mauigirl: I'm sure that is the audience that the author had in mind when he wrote it.

ZedWord: Iagree, ZedWord!

Seeing Eye Chick: Yeah! Or like saying keep your chocolate off of my Hershey Bar! ;o)

Utah Savage: Ditoo! ;o)

Zirgar: I know! And I heard that he doesn't have a birth certificate! ;o)

Distributorcap: Becuase they are stealing all of our jobs! ;o)

Lisa: Ah, Somalia. the invisible hand of the marketplace laid bare for the world to see. I would like to see how this crowd would like that version of the rat race. ;o)

Aironlater: I can only watch FOX News about 5 minutes at a time. I can only take it in small doses. ;o)

Susan: It's like looking deeply into a persons soul and finding that it is made out of tin foil... ;o)

Comrade Kevin: Not the media, that's for sure! ;o)

Zoey and Me: So do I. **sigh** :o(

 
At Wed Aug 12, 06:10:00 PM, Blogger Buttermilk Sky said...

People who think Medicare is a gift from heaven feel the same way about the forty-hour week, paid sick leave and maternity leave, and child labor laws. They would be amazed to hear that union "agitators" and other socialists died for these things. It all comes down to the appalling ignorance of Americans, the most maleducated people in the developed world. Public education has been under siege since the 1970s, and we are reaping that toxic harvest every day.

 
At Tue Aug 25, 01:59:00 PM, Blogger JustJoeP said...

keep yer guvmint hands off my medicare!

 

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