Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Republican Party is the Party of Ideas - Really, Really Bad Ideas.   

 
Dick Cheney

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

The answer is seven:

* One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced.

* One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb.

* One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb.

* One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs.

* One to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to overpay Halliburton one million dollars for each light bulb. 

* One to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag.

* And finally, one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country. [anon]
 

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29 Comments:

At Fri Aug 24, 10:57:00 AM, Blogger J.D. said...

What about the one that shreds the documents talking about the ways to not to change the lightbulb, or the one who outs an undercover electrician to Tim Russert?

 
At Fri Aug 24, 12:24:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Is the Dickmeister humping South America?

 
At Fri Aug 24, 03:48:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Man Darth Cheney needs to get laid and stop humping Peru so hard.

 
At Fri Aug 24, 03:54:00 PM, Blogger DCup said...

Love it!

 
At Fri Aug 24, 04:38:00 PM, Blogger Fade said...

that was great

 
At Sat Aug 25, 04:49:00 AM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

hahahahahahaha

 
At Sat Aug 25, 12:31:00 PM, Anonymous ichi gota said...

Very funny (and sadly very true) but you forgot the 8th person...


One to organize the "fair and balanced" "main stream media" organizations to begin a non stop campaign to vilify the impoverished, minimum wage earning, hardworking people who earn their meager incomes changing light bulbs so "the new corporately owned privatized prisons" can start making a profit from having their prisoners take over light bulb changing duties nationwide.

 
At Sat Aug 25, 02:03:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

J.D.: Ha! I think that they hire independent contractors for those two positions!

FranIAm: I guess so! Take that, Hugo Chavez!

Dr. Monkerstein: If only it was that easy... Have you seen his wife? Ack!

DCup: :o)

Fade: So glad you enjoyed it, sir!

Distributorcap: Cool!

ichi gota: Ouch! That is painfully true. But I don't want to go to a corporately owned privatized prison!

 
At Sat Aug 25, 06:29:00 PM, Blogger BAC said...

Dr. Z ... in the words of the Divine Miss M ... "this tootsie is on a roll!"

Great work!


BAC

 
At Sun Aug 26, 11:42:00 AM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

Ooh! Chock full o' Chocolate Goodness! Thank you, :o)

 
At Sun Aug 26, 10:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man it looks like the Dickster is bottle washing Ted Nugent's coal chute. 2 spineless chubs goin' at it!!

 
At Sun Aug 26, 10:44:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unless the light bulb is in New Orleans.

 
At Sun Aug 26, 11:21:00 PM, Blogger jeff said...

It's a trick question: they're out of lightbulbs.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 12:02:00 AM, Blogger Thursday said...

I wish, oh how I wish there was a place in the administration for that seventh person!

Alas, no one has bothered explaining the difference to him at all...

 
At Mon Aug 27, 12:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its really eight.
One black jewish democrat woman (pelosi lieberman obama) needs to break all the lightbulbs to demonstrate to the republicans that none of the light bulbs were gay lesbian or transgender.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 12:11:00 AM, Blogger V said...

This is the dumbest thing ever...

it should be 8...

1 to forget if the light bulb was ever replaced.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 02:19:00 AM, Blogger Albatross said...

My candidate for #8:

One to obsess on Britney Spears, Brad Pitt, Flat Panel Televisions and Digital Watches, completely oblivious to the dismantling of the Constitution all around them and violently hostile to anyone who disturbs their delusional lifestyle...

 
At Mon Aug 27, 05:27:00 AM, Blogger Scriptwrangler said...

What about someone to break the bulb in the first place?

 
At Mon Aug 27, 06:51:00 AM, Blogger Morse said...

One to ask, "Why would you want a lightbulb? Do you think we're hiding something?"

 
At Mon Aug 27, 07:02:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The comment about cheney "humping Peru" actually made me laugh out loud.

nice one.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 07:43:00 AM, Blogger thepoetryman said...

Ha! Denial is a river to George. Problem is he thinks it flows through Mexico.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 08:32:00 AM, Anonymous spinn said...

Worth noting that none of them ever actually replaces the light bulb, which is also on the money.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 09:50:00 AM, Blogger Chez T said...

"Where oh where has my Underdog gone." Good post!

 
At Mon Aug 27, 10:52:00 AM, Blogger Jim said...

Excellent post!
But- can America afford a lightbulb?

 
At Mon Aug 27, 11:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like rats off a sinking ship, Christine Todd Whitman, Tom Ridge, George Tenet, John Ashcroft, James McGreevey, Tom DeLay, Michael Brown, Porter Goss, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Karl Rove and now Albetro Gonzalez...how many others?

 
At Mon Aug 27, 07:02:00 PM, Anonymous Real American Patriot said...

Odd. I wrote and posted this on several blogs a few months ago.

I have been endeavoring to answer the following burning question.
How many Rebublicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I decided to use modern Republican Values in order to arrive at an answer.
So, how many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Lets do the math.

1 to steal the light bulb

1 to deny that the light bulb was stolen

1 to question whether the light bulb ever existed in the first place

1 to offer lucrative deals to any scientist willing to write a thesis claiming that there is no such thing as light bulbs, therefore how could one be stolen

1 to blame it on Bill Clinton

1 to claim that the light bulb had not actually been stolen, but just borrowed in order to shed light on the much larger issue of Democratic light bulb thievery

1 to claim that the light bulb was stolen by a middle eastern country attempting to stockpile light bulbs that will be used against us unless we pre-emptively invade their country

1 to claim that light bulb theft is not a real crime, therefore the Republican responsible should not be held accountable

1 to insist on a presidential pardon for the Republican thief

All the rest to man their keyboards, pointing out that anyone who disagreed with the theft of the light bulb is un-patriotic

It is very difficult to arrive at an actual number because there is a big difference between actually screwing in a light bulb and just spinning one.

 
At Mon Aug 27, 10:18:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

It is attributed in the post to [anon]. There are at least 907 examples of this joke on the web, including several message boards and joke sites. I got it in an email from a joke site, as I recall. If you are in fact the author, how should I attribute it? Searches using phrases from the joke and "Real American Patriot" seem to come up empty. [ 1, 2 ] What is your blog or website, so that I can attribute the joke properly?

 
At Mon Aug 27, 11:00:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since the departure of Al the Loco a la Cabesa I've been thinking of the theme of Ten Little Indians. Anon. at 8/27/07 9:30 a.m. lists at least 12, but can we narrow it down, and add Ari Shapiro? ok Christine T. (the air is good in Manhattan) Whitman, Tom Ridge, George Tenet, Ash (hide the boobs!Croft, Brownie, Rummie, Wolfie, Karl R. leaving just two little indians - Cheney and Bush. Okay, I've gone over the ten, but can't decide which little indian to take off the list - Tom Ridge? Whitman? How can I cut this list back to accomodate the last two indians? Or should we expand it to twenty (30 or forty?). Oops - I forgot that I actually wanted to add one (Shapiro- gone but not forgotten). 11? 21? 31 little indians?

 
At Wed Aug 29, 03:34:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW The light bulb never got changed.

 

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