Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Necco Non-Agression Negotiations are Needed Now! (No Neocons)


Due the timely intervention of my running mate, Germaine Gregarious, a conflict with the lovers of Necco wafers has been narrowly averted.

A ripple effect was felt on NASDAQ as an immediate shift in the value of Necco was reported on the Stock Market. Google Finance reported the events that took place at the LGPPP and the Zaius Nation on their stock page for American Capital Strategies, Ltd. (NASDAQ:ACAS) As of the moment that this is being written, the report is still on the page. You can also see the images below for confirmation of this event. (I only noticed it because I have been getting a fair amount of traffic from the site.)

Ms. Gregarious and I have hired artist Denise Tassin [ 2 ] to create Necco images for the public that shall put the wafers in a more positive light in the media.

Negotiations with the Necconians shall begin immediately. Dguzman has offered his concern for the pressing importance of this issue, and FranIAm has expressed an interest in the utilizing the talents of her favorite neo-conservative, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, to act as a figurehead in these negotiations.

I can't begin to agree with FranIAm's choice on this issue, and Ms. Gregarious and I both feel that in matters that are this serious, we must bring in the talents of a seasoned professional.

Thus, we have employed the most logical candidate for the position.


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At Tue Jan 29, 03:32:00 PM, Blogger dguzman said...

Peace is sweeping the nation!

At Tue Jan 29, 03:39:00 PM, Blogger Germaine Gregarious said...

Is that why that horrible little bald man keeps calling me and breathing heavily into the phone?

Caller ID says: Cramer, Jim. I was afraid it was that other horrible little bald man, Bill O'Reilly.

At Tue Jan 29, 03:49:00 PM, Blogger Übermilf said...

I'm baking cupcakes with NECCO hearts on them.

That's my gesture.

At Tue Jan 29, 08:01:00 PM, Blogger FranIAm said...

Condi Schmondi... here are my words:
Dr. Z and GG... please set things in motion. And leave that damn Condi out of it, ok?

Get Bill Shatner on the phone- stat!

At Tue Jan 29, 08:54:00 PM, Blogger Dean Wormer said...

Bah! Denny Crane has mad cow. Nobody will listen to that nut.

At Wed Jan 30, 05:16:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

dguzman: Yes, indeed! It brings out the hippie in me.

Germaine Gregarious: To be fair, a lot of men keep calling you and breathing heavily into the phone. I think that it is partially due to your, ahem, political assets.

Übermilf: Yay! I'll have two of those cupcakes without quite so many Necco hearts on them, thank you very much.

FranIAm: Hey, you brought her up! Have no fear, Priceline Negotiator [ 2, 3, 4, 5 ] has everything well in hand.

Dean Wormer: Really? Compared to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, he's a freakin' genius!

At Wed Jan 30, 11:30:00 PM, Blogger GETkristiLOVE said...

Awesome, Shat-man is hot.

At Thu Jan 31, 05:48:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zaius said...

"...You're so naughty."


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