Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Citizens United Insures America Has the Finest Political Candidates That Money Can Buy

Due to the 2010 ruling by the US Supreme court, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, corporations and unions are no longer barred from making unlimited campaign contributions. The upshot of stripping away restrictions on contributions is that wealthy individuals are now able to donate unlimited funds to individual political campaigns.

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Valentine's Day Poetry

No time for blogging to day! I am busy creating a little something for for Valentine's Day. (I am using only the finest ingredients! Plent of sugar and spice and everything nice.) In the meantime you can read these swell Valentine's Day poems written by my good friend George:

Valentine's Day 2012
It's 2012. The Mayans say
The world will end this year.
If you don't have a Valentine yet,
It's your last chance, I fear.
Get up, get out there, start your search
To find your Valentine.
In 2012 just seek the one
To whom you'll say, "Be Mayan."

Valentine Preparation
I've showered, scrubbed, and washed myself.
My body I've perfumed.
I've filed my nails and brushed my teeth.
My hair is combed and groomed.

I've put all my best clothing on.
Each piece is pressed and cleaned.
For my Valentine I'll look my best:
I've prepped and primped and preened.

The time has come. My love is here,
There's no one I hold dearer.
And so, I see my Valentine –
As I look in the mirror.

© 2011 George Bereschik                                       

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Warning! Really Stupid Valentine's Day Jokes


Warning! Really Stupid Valentine's Day Jokes:

Q: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A: "I’m sweet on you!"

Q: Why do valentines have hearts on them?
A: Because spleens would look pretty gross!

Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: "Valentine, you mean a great dill to me!"

Q: What would you get if you crossed a dog with a Valentine's Day card?
A: A card that says, "I love you drool-ly!"

Q: What did one light bulb say to the other?
A: "I love you a whole watt!"

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

What did the Valentine's Day card say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places!

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
I'm stuck on you.

Who sends a thousand Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess Who'?
A divorce lawyer.

What did one snake say to the other snake?
Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

What happens when you fall in love with a pastry chef?
You get buttered up.

What would you get if you cross George Bush with the God of love?
A stupid cupid!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Olive who?
Olive you!

What did the pencil say to the paper?
"I dot my i's on you!"

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn't suit his taste!


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