Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, December 24, 2011

John Boehner Dines On a Christmas Dinner of Humble Pie and a Side of Crow

John Boehner has shown renewed vigor and vitality as Speaker of the House recently...

Or then again, maybe not.

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Merry Christmas, Everyone!

Yuletide greetings, everyone!

I am catching up on some last minute Christmas correspondence...

But I am republishing a special Christmas recipe for you...

The Lawgiver - Planet of the Apes
Handed down by the Great Lawgiver, who brought presents to all of the good apes and gave lobotomies to all of those pesky humans. Here is his divine simian recipe:

Milk Punch ala the Great Lawgiver
Fill the blender 3/4 full of ice
fill the blender 3/4 full of milk
2 capfulls of vanilla (1/2 teaspoon)
4 heaping tablespoons of sugar
Mix in 3 shots of brandy
Sprinkle Nutmeg on each serving.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Cthulhu Christmas Carols


I'm listening to all of these swell Cthulhu Christmas carols! My personal favorites are "Carol of the Old Ones", "Awake Ye Scary Great Old Ones" and of course Elvis Presley singing, "Blue Solstice". Many of these songs are from the album: "A Very Scary Solstice" by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

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The Real Meaning of Christmas

December's Awesome Facebook Pictures!
Zaius Nation: What do you call people who are afraid of Christmas? 'Claus-trophobic!'
The Pretenders - 2000 Miles (Remastered)
Major Matt Mason - a toy collection (Facebook)
Star Wars AT-AT Pancakes
How Germany Builds Twice as Many Cars as the U.S. While Paying Its Workers Twice as Much
Freakiest Ads of 2011 - Basement 'Rabbit' | Adweek
Video: Cat Hiccups and Farts at the Same Time
Video: William Shatner on the dangers of Thanksgiving dinner. BEWARE!
One Girl Starts an Awesome Flash Mob Mashup in the Mall
Top 6 Amazing Facebook Infographics
Google Memory Page
The Gettysburg Powerpoint Presentation
Processed Meats Declared Too Dangerous for Human Consumption
Video: Doctor Who Yo Mama Jokes - Awkward Spaceship
The Top Seven Santas with a Bladed Weapon
The 11 Best/Worst Vagina Tattoos Of All Time [NSFW]
George Takei Rallies Star Trek And Star Wars Fans To Unite Against Twilight
If you ever had any doubt the the media was controlled
Damn! Van Damme!
Planet of the Heavily Armed Apes
Tea Party Report
Susie Sit Downs - God's Word with Pastor Jim
Fox News Show Awarded 'Top Misinformer Of 2011'
What Liberals Fought For And Conservatives Fought Against
10 Reasons Not To Vote For Ron Paul
20 Reasons I won't Vote for Ron Paul


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A Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I have finally got most of the Christmas ornaments up on the west wing. Now for the entry hall! But before we tackle that project, I wanted to take this special Christmastime moment to share with you a Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer. I am sure that you will agree that the message conveyed is certainly a most accurate portrayal of the Christmas season as we celebrate it here in the United States.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christine O'Donnell Still Doesn't Want You to Touch Your Penis!

Remember Christine O'Donnell, the "I'm not a witch" and "God doesn't want you to masturbate" Tea Party candidate who defeated U.S. Representative and former governor Michael Castle in Delaware's September 2010 Republican primary for the U.S. Senate, only to then lose the seat held by Republicans for 18 years to Democrat Chris Coons by a margin of 57% to 40%? [ 1 ] Me neither! (as my good friend Tengrain would say.)

Well it would seem that despite her creation of a PAC, Ms. O'Donnell has fallen out favor with the Tea Party as of late. Why are those wacky Republicans so gosh darned fickle these days?

'Not a witch' O'Donnell endorses Romney for Prez
Christine O'Donnell and the Fix Endorsement Hierarchy
O'Donnell's 'unreliable' Gingrich zing
Christine O'Donnell Touring Early 2012 States
Updated: Christine O'Donnell meets tea-party activists in West Des Moines
Christine O'Donnell Rejected by Iowa Tea Party Groups
15 Iowa tea party-related groups reject Christine O'Donnell's meetup invitation
**I Had a One-Night Stand With Christine O'Donnell
Christine O'Donnell invents a New Sugar Daddy [ 2 ]
Christine O'Donnell To Build Addition To Home [...]
ChristinePAC | Official Site

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Vive la Différence!

A brief but delightful tale of redemption, peer pressure, and the importance of blind conformity - Charlton Comics' The Difference.

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Monday, December 12, 2011

The Great GOP Hot Air Balloon Race

With less than a month until the Iowa caucuses, Newt Gingrich is enjoying a comfortable lead over the rest of the Republican candidates.

Trying to narrow the gap in the race is proving to be a very difficult task for the GOP favorite...

And while other contenders in the race have had some success with tried and true methods...

Some candidates can't even seem to get their campaigns off the ground.

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Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Ack! My Christmas Has Been Ruined!

Ack! My Christmas has been ruined! I went to the local Walgreens to buy my large daily bag of my medicinal Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and was shocked to find that they did not have any regular large bags of wholesome and health-giving Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, the only Reeses Peanut Butter goodness that they had in a large bag were Reeses Peanut Butter TREES!

I was forced to buy these atrocities, of course. What else was I to do? I could not allow myself to succumb to an damaging and harmful anti-sucrose coma that would beinduced by a diet completely devoid of the healthful effects of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. But these Reeses Peanut Butter Trees are an atrocity! An aberration against god and nature!

Reeses Peanut Butter Cups are aerodynamic, and thus by very design they are both roundish and circular - a shape that is both easy to digest and pleasing to the eye and stomach. On the other hand, Reeses Peanut Butter Trees are pointy and angular, and they are entirely without the palette-pleasing edge ridges of a regular Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.

Oh, the horror.

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Red Peters singing "Have A Wonderful Hawaiian Christmas!"

No time for blogging today! I'm busy drumming up business for my friends down at the local funeral parlor. (I wouldn't want to shirk in my duties as a job creator!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of Red Peters singing "Have A Wonderful Hawaiian Christmas!" Aloha, kids!
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Animated Comic Covers!
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Bert Brandon of Interplanetary Insurance, Inc.

Moms Blast Xmas Vid From Justin Bieber & Mariah Carey As Too Sexy [ 2, 3 ]
(I was actually far more offended by the ridiculous number of product placements in the video.)

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Im Ho Tep Lives!


...I hope that they elect my good friend Boris Karloff!

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Pedobear Says...


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