Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Monday, June 30, 2008

Irony of the Week


Man's use of fossil fuels has caused global warming, which has melted the polar ice caps to the point that the ice cap at North Pole has all but disappeared. What is man's chief concern regarding this important turn of events? Possible untapped oil and gas reserves at the North Pole! It’s an Arctic Oil Rush!

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Senators Vitter and Craig Bring New Life to the Marriage Protection Amendment


Two Republican Senators, Larry Craig (R-ID) and David Vitter (R-LA) have teamed up to co-sponsor the Marriage Protection Amendment in order to save the country from it's own sinful gayness. If passed, the bill would amend the Constitution to declare that marriage "shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman."

It is only fitting that dynamic duo of far-right Republicans have taken it upon themselves to act as defenders of the sanctity of marriage, as both Senators have been implicated in extramarital sexual activity in the past. Sen. Vitter hired prostitutes to have sex with him while he wore diapers, and Sen. Craig as arrested for soliciting gay sex an airport men's room. No wait, that's not right... Sen. Craig pled guilty and was convicted for soliciting gay sex an airport men's room.

In light of this recent development, let's not forget this important piece of the legislation that Senator David "Hurricane_Katrina-isn't-happening" Vitter felt fit to thrust upon the American public last year. Sen. Vitter introduced an amendment to a lobbying reform bill that would have required grassroots causes, even bloggers, to register and report quarterly to Congress, the same as the big K Street lobbyists.

"Section 220 would amend existing lobbying reporting law by creating the most expansive intrusion on First Amendment rights ever." For the first time in history, critics of Congress will need to register and report with Congress itself." [ 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ] The bill would have allowed the rounding up and imprisoning of non-registered political writers. Non-registered political bloggers who criticized the government would have faced prison if Sen. Vitter's amendment had been made law.

My favorite Sen. Craig story is still Tucker Carlson's reaction [ 2 ] to Larry's wide stance on bathroom politics. There are also some amusing stories of Sen. Craig's personal dealings with Washington voters. [ 2 ]

Just a quick reminder: the Republican National Convention will be held only seven miles west of the airport restroom that Sen. Larry Craig's 'wide stance' was arrested in. I'm guessing that the GOP's convention-goers will be kind of jittery at the airport bathroom as the Republican congress flies in to the convention. (I think it's gonna be touch and go!)


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Don't Mention This to Stephen Colbert...


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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of the classic film, "Village of the Giants"

MST3K "Village of the Giants": [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 ]

Groovy Giant Joy Harmon dance clip [ 2 ]
Nifty Beau Brummels' scenes [ 2 ]
Watch out for the giant rubber hand!
Joy Harmon Tribute

Today's movie is the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of the classic film, "Village of the Giants". I first saw this film when I was a kid on Bob Wilkins' show, 'Creature Fratures'. The film is terrible, but the so much fun to watch! Teenagers eat some "Goo" and grow to huge proportions! The best way to sum up he highlights of this film is to go straight to the "Groovy Giant girls in Makeshift Bikinis" dance clip, featuring Joy Harmon. Ooo-La-La! That is really what this film is all about. (This drive-in cheeseburger is extra heavy on the cheese.) The film also features Tommy Kirk, a young Beau Bridges and a very young Ron Howard, but when Joy Harmon is in the cast - Who really cares about them, anyway? Joy Harmon is the ginchiest! (This weekend movie is brought to you as a suggestion from ThoughtCriminal.)


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I have secured the important Marvel Superheros' vote!


Good news, boys and girls! I have secured the important Marvel Superheros' vote! (Via Oliver Willis.) Now that the Marvel characters have gone simian, the DC characters' can't be far behind... I can't wait to meet to meet Saturn Girl! We are at present having a clandesine text message relationship, you know. (Don't tell the press!)

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Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator's Summer of Froodlishious iDoodles!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator: 'Suggested by MWB, Dr. Zaius feeling the effects of a lightning strike on his computer. Yes I know that kind of looks like the Lion King, but that's Dr. Zaius, honest to gosh!'
Check out Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator's Summer of Froodlishious iDoodles! Here is a picture requesed by MWB. It a picture of my computer getting fried by lightening! (It really happened, too. Drat! I blame Al Gore.) Jon said that he is finished doing Doodles for the week, but maybe if you ask him he will make a special doodle for you!

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

It's Election Year Again, Time For Some More Delicious Terrorist Alert Milkshakes!


Now that we have been informed by the McCain campaign that we can expect some more of those delicious Terrorist Alert Milkshakes that we have all grown to know and love during each election cycle, perhaps now is a good time to review some of the culinary masterpieces they were served during the Bush administration. I have this swell video put together by Keith Olbermann that explains in detail those past election-time frappe treats that we have all enjoyed as a snack or dessert. Guaranteed to chase the economic blues away and sugarcoat those drooping poll results!

It's Election Year Again, Time For Some More Delicious Terrorist Alert Milkshakes!

it's an election year! This is the perfect time to sit back and relax with a cool, refreshing Terrorist Alert Milkshake. Here is the recipe in case you have forgotten. (It will also be reprinted soon on Cindy McCain's website!)

Recipe for a Terrorist Alert Milkshake


1 carton (or more) of Insane Despot Ice Cream
1 disenfranchised population
The Mainstream Media
Plenty of horse manure
10 oz. box of xenophobia, partially thawed


Using the Insane Despot Ice Cream as a base, mix the horse manure, the media and the population into a blender until the voter's overactive imaginations are at a fever pitch and the economy is ridiculously overextended. Make sure that the people's resolve dissolves completely and the political pundits are foamy, frothy and drooling. Let stand until fear and intimidation start to congeal. Garnish with a fresh strawberry!

It's Election Year Again, Time For Some More Delicious Terrorist Alert Milkshakes!


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Golly! It's John McBond Vs. Dr. NObama!


I am getting increasingly confused by some of the recent news stories. I already knew that America's first Muslim presidential candidate was also a member of Al Queda...

...And I am now I am being informed by the mainstream media that Barack Obama is also a martini swilling, country club elitist... [ 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

But I am horrified, shocked and dismayed to find from the evidence presented in this swell John McCain campaign video that Obama is also the nefarious James Bond villain, Dr. No! [ 1, 2, 3 ]

I am sure that I am just being naive, but I am having a bit of trouble picturing all of this. The latest news is that Obama is an elitist Chinese Muslim terrorist that hangs around in country clubs drinking martinis, has metal claws for hands and likes to cavort about his secret Jamaican Crab Key lair in a creepy inflatable radiation suit while disrupting Cape Canaveral rocket launches. Golly! It's John McBond Vs. Dr. NObama!

I wonder how he managed to escape the certain death of his unfortunate mishap in his nuclear reactor's cooling vat with only those powerful but ponderous prosthetic pinchers to climb out with? I guess that I will just have to look it up on 'the Google'. In their political section, they always frontline the top non-partisan sources to get to the bottom of these pesky political paradoxes!

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Ack! It's Angry Ballerina's Two Year Blogiversary!


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The Top Story On Yesterday

Jeepers! I had no idea that I needed to feed my swimsuit.
No wonder mine doesn't fit anymore... It's malnourished!

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50 Pictures of Beautiful Women in Wonder Woman Costumes!


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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just a Quick Note...


Swinebread is expecting a young barbarian.

It's Randel Graves' blogiversary! And Freida Bee is back!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator is doing froodliscious iDoodles ALL WEEK! (Place your order now - avoid the rush!)

MWB has started a great new political blog, The Canary Sings.

Übermilf tells a tale about Mr. Creepie, and has a great video of Nancy Sinatra that features the original Mr. Creepy, Boris Karloff.

The Unconventional Conventionist plays Chopin Prelude in G Minor, Opus 28 No. 22 while wearing a pair of madras shorts, and has an interesting video that he made about Mark Udall's FISA Vote.

Sleestak has posted an entire chapter from Planet Comics #43, Futura! (It's awesome.)

If you can speak Spanish, you should check out Odile at Las Largas Noches.

Heeling to Port has some great figures and statistics.

FranIam has a hot mayonnaise sex video.

MWB has a hilarous misogynist video, some great old political ads, and the coolest Betty and Veronica panel EVER!

Madam Z has a Great three part series on racism: [ 1, 2, 3 ]

How to opt out of phonebook deliveries, via Eyeteeth.

Where to buy your own Villain Chair, from Occasional Superheroine.

Some Guy has an interesting hobby, and also wants to talk to you about nose picking.

Dguzman has some great pictures of this and that.

I am trying to talk Utah Savage into killing two of her previous husbands with a cast-iron skillet.

George Carlin tributes from Dr. Monkerstein, I, Splotchy, GOPnot4me Samurai Frog Illiterate Electorate, and Some Guy. I think that Sleestak's entry is the most poignant.

"Procrastination: Don't know how? Here's a flowchart!", from Design Dyke.

A cool job search site, (From Katy.)

Also of interest: Women in Spacesuits in TV and Film, Fictional Flags, Sleestak Coin Bank, Star Trek's 10 Cheesiest Classic Creatures, The Experimental Colr Pickr, "Lemonade: e-commerce for everyone", the Star Wars Last Supper Mosaic, and Women's Volleyball at the 2008 Summer Olympics.

Doh! I have to get around to that...

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The Paradox of a Possible 'Pregnancy Pact' Plot!

No time for blogging today! With aid of a quick tuxedo rental and a gratuitously gravid faux-pregnancy get-up, Germaine Gregarious and I have disguised ourselves as typical American teenage 'shotgun' newlyweds! I am sure that we will blend right in. We are off to Taxachusetts to uncover the suspicious paradox of a possible 'pregnancy pact' plot! (The mainstream media only covers the most important news stories, so we are going to the bottom of this mystery by quizzing the forgetful school superintendent. I am sure that under Ms. Gregarius' thorough and relentless inquisitive probes, the pesky pedagogical popinjay shall prove to be a pusillanimous pip-squeak!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video! It's the 1967 theater trailer for the film, Teenage Mother. It's about a 15 year-old girl, Arlene Sue, who went "all the way" to trap the boy that she really wanted. She just wanted to get a little bit pregnant. According to the narrator, "In addition to the film, their will be a brief lecture on how to use our bodies." (Listen to the soundtrack to the trailer - It sounds like it's from an action adventure war movie!)

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Dating Tips With Dr. Zaius

Here is a handy dating tip for women. When entertaining a young man, it is important that you know his political party. The way in which you and your potential suitor communicate with each other can be of great significance.

Dating Tips
If your new boyfriend is a Republican, he sides himself with a party that historically pro-rich, and has nothing but disdain for the poor and middle class. Republicans are like minded, and they all agree on everything. (They have to agree, or they will be ostracized from the party.) You may find it difficult to discuss any subject that does not center around the accumulation of wealth and the hatred of those that are not rich.

Dating Tips
On the other hand, Democrats are very liberal minded and open to many different viewpoints. When dating democrats, you are far more likely to meet a diverse and multi-cultural swath of possible suitors. A wide range of variation in the qualities or attributes of a liberal suitor are actually encouraged by the Democratic party, and no one is excluded. You may find that many liberals are markedly different from the average Republican, or even contrast conspicuously from each other.

This is a Zaius Nation reprint.

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Monday, June 23, 2008

There is Something About Those Friday News Stories...


Certain news stories always seem to be released at the end of the week. This story got some attention last Friday:

Two former Bear Stearns hedge fund managers indicted: A criminal indictment of two former Bear Stearns Cos. executives unsealed Thursday relies on a story line that may reemerge in future prosecutions of Wall Street figures in the wake of the sub-prime mortgage meltdown.

The indictment of hedge fund managers Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin alleges that they knew the market for bonds backed by home loans given to people with bad credit was beginning to capsize in early 2007 but hid it from investors in two Bear Stearns hedge funds that held billions of dollars of such securities.

But I have not heard anyone on the news make the connection between this criminal investigation and the other recent news about Bear Stearns. Didn't we just bail these clowns out in March?

The Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department have orchestrated the rescue of Bear Stearns. The defenders of that maneuver argue that if Bear Stearns had failed it would have created a lot of collateral damage, so much collateral damage, that you and I, normal folk who don't know anything about high-falutin' financial instruments like "collateralized debt obligations" would have been engulfed as well. If Bear Stearns had gone bankrupt, Lehman Brothers might have been next.

Some say that if Bear Stearns had failed, the entire banking system was at risk.


It seems awfully hard to know for sure.

But what I do know for sure is that by subsidizing the marriage of Bear Stearns and JP Morgan, the government has removed some of the loss from the profit and loss system. Oh, they tried to make Bear Stearns suffer by demanding a price of $2 a share. But now the deal has been renegotiated — ta-da! — to $10 a share, a mere five-fold readjustment.

What's going on here?

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The Latest News From the Monkerstein Campaign...


Good news, boys and girls! In light of the overwhelming results of recent poll numbers, the evil Dr. Monkerstein has decided to suspend his campaign! (You can watch a video of his campaign speech by clicking here.)

There has been no word as of yet whether his running mate, GETkristiLOVE, shall continue her work by becoming part of a different presidential campaign or if she shall change strategies and enter into the corporate sector...

...Dr. Monkerstein has vowed to continue acting as a surrogate for all of those that have helped him in the past...

...And there is still some question as to what he shall do about his staggering campaign debt....

But he wants to thank all of his supporters, and let them know exactly how he feels!

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The Latest Entry On My Summer Reading List...


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Amy Walter, Why Do You Vex Me So?


Of all of the latest Hotline TV installments, My favorite episode was the one in which Amy Walter interviews HTV's Gossip Girl (Holly Noe) about all of the recent 'Drrrty' GOP text messages. (I was particulary taken with the Marvin Gaye soundtrack.)

Remember, Amy Walter is the Editor in Chief of "The Hotline" and has a weekly column in National Journal. She is part of a hoity-toity, non-partisan news organization that provides "Insight for Insiders" to members of Congress, Capitol Hill staffers, the White House, Executive Branch agencies, the media, think tanks, corporations, associations and lobbyists. This is the news that the stiffs in Washington are watching.


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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Teenagers From Outer Space


Teenagers From Outer Space [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, ]
Teenagers from Outer Space on MST3K [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

I think that this is the first science fiction move that I ever saw, and I was such a little kid at the time that the scene where one of the Teenagers From Outer Space vaporizes a small dog with his futuristic ray gun really scared the crap out of me! I Even remember that it was on TV on a Sunday morning, and how strange I thought it was that they were playing such a creepy movie on a Sunday in the morning. I have loved science fiction films ever since, especially the really cheesy ones. You can watch the entire film in it's original form, or in the enhanced Mystery Science Theater 3000 version!


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The Close Shaves of Pauline Peril


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Thursday, June 19, 2008

LGPPP, Inc. Corporate Training Video

After my running mate, Germaine Gregarious, made this swell video for our campaign, I have taken the liberty of publishing this LGPPP, Inc. Corporate Training Video.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008



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McCain on the Flipside: The Hits Just Keep on Coming!


1. Social Security Privatization:noyes

2. Raising Defense Spending:YesNo, cut the military budget to cover
tax cuts for the rich

3. First Term Balanced Budget Pledge:YesNo

4. Cares about Hillary Clinton's Supporters:Said itDenies he said it

5. The Estate Tax:For itAgainst it

6. FISA:Presidents have
the obligation
to obey the law

No, they don't
7. Restoring the Everglades:Said yesVoted no

8. Divestment from South Africa:We should treat Iran
like South Africa...
...Even though
I voted against
those sanctions

9. Fighting Job Losses in Michigan:We can't bring
back lost jobs
New jobs are coming

10. Hurricane Katrina Investigations:Opposed themSaid that he
never opposed


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Germaine Gregarious and the Salad Shooters

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy doing some last minute political pundit pandering. We are trying to set up a photo-op in the salad bar at Applebees to prove that we "fit in naturally" with the "less educated" and "downscale" voters - But we can't find an Applebees that has a salad bar! (The situation is getting serious - We are running low on baby corn on the cob and are almost completely out of croutons!) In the meantime, you can watch these swell videos! I have clips of Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson singing karaoke from the film "Lost in Translation." (To aid us in our quest for the elusive Applebees' salad bar, Ms. Gregarious has assembled a crack team of terrorist vegetarians, The Salad Shooters!)

the Salad Shooters!
The Salad Shooters

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Being sold at a Republican State Convention Near You (True!)


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Monday, June 16, 2008

Cindy McCain and the Pesky Purloined Prescription Pain Pills


When Senator McCain's wife, Cindy, was addicted to prescription painkillers she stole pills from a medical-aid charity that she headed and she used the names of unsuspecting employees to get prescriptions. At least Rush Limbaugh paid for his Percocets!

Phoenix New Times: Opiate For the Mrs. How Cindy McCain was outed for drug addiction Cindy McCain: Drugs, Lies, Intimidation, Theft and Cindy McCain
Death by 1000 Papercuts: Cindy McCain: The McCain Manipulation Machine
Huffington Post: Cindy McCain Responds To Vicki Iseman Allegations Cindy McCain drug story: True!

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"I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky."

Tony Avalon & The Belairs - "Sexy Coffee Pot"
Otis Redding - "Cigarettes and Coffee"
Star Trek Coffee House
Coffee Art
Folgers Coffee Advertisement [ 2, 3 ]
Wilkins Coffee
Garbage - "Cup of Coffee"
Frank Sinatra - "They Gotta Lotta Cofee in Brazil"
"You're the Cream in My Coffee"
Alvin and the Chipmunks (coffee scene)
Scrubs - Coffee Addiction
Morning Musume - "Morning Coffee"
Potato Gun Vs. Coffee Maker
"Coffee and Cigarettes" [ 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

I came across these a long time ago when I was looking up something else entirely and I ended up doing a minor Google wander. My favorite was always, "I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky." I also found the sheet music and an mp3 of "O Blessed, Holy Caffeine Tree!", Coffee Croons & Tea Tunes, and a swell Caffeine Molecule Necklace. Tony Avalon & The Belairs doing "Sexy Coffee Pot" is awesome!

I like my women like I like my coffee... Sweetened with two lumps.

I like my women like I like my coffee... On my lap as I drive to work.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap, imported and with artificial ingredients.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Hot, strong and with a spoon in them.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Instant.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Filed as a miscellaneous expense on the budget.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Cheap and easy.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Drunk.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Smooth, hot and wonderful in every way.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Controversial.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Bitter and murky.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Tall, dark, and with a lot of emotional problems.

I like my women like I like my coffee... Strong, black, and with a penis.

I like my women like I like my coffee... "You really want to pay $200 for a cup of coffee?"

I like my women like I like my English cottages: warm, tidy, and covered with ivy.

I, too, like my women like I like my databases. Transactional.

I like my women ethically purchased from farming cooperatives in Latin America.

I like my women like I like my Neodymium Magnets, bipolar and hard to handle.

Eddie Izzard: "I like my women like I like my coffee ... In a plastic cup."

The movie Airplane: The flight attendant asked a young girl how she takes her coffee and her answer was, "Black, like my men."

(Deranged): I like my women like I like my coffee.

(Jet): Black?

(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): full of your cream?

(mistik): hawt?

(Jet): Columbian?

(Aimee): hot?

(Jet): From McDonalds?

(SteveTheImpermeableHamster): in a cup?

(Jet): Spilt all over your lap?

(mistik): cheap?

(Deranged): No...

(Deranged): Ground up, and in the freezer.

Caffeine combines with the stomach's hydrochloric acid and forms a potent toxin, caffeine hydrochloride. As this toxin is absorbed into your circulation and hits your liver, bile is released in an attempt to flush the toxin from your system. This accounts for the increase in bowel "regularity" of which many coffee drinkers boast. Coffee also has an acid-based oil which is an irritant to gastric mucosa. It simulates the secretion of gastric acidity and this results in secretion of adrenalin. The secretion of adrenalin stimulates insulin secretion with consequent secondary hypoglycaemia. The end results are tension, mild rise in blood pressure, 2-3 hours later a craving for sweets, low energy and mood levels, and over working of the adrenal glands. Coffee can also create a Thiamine (B-1) insufficiency... And I DON'T CARE!

PSYCHIC BLOGGER UPDATE: Unbeknownst to me, Germaine Gregarious blogged a post about coffee this morning too! (Spooky!)

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It's Freida Bee's One Year Blogiversary!


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Friday, June 13, 2008

Anheuser-Busch. (It's Belgian for Haliburton.)


Michelle Obama was in the news yesterday. The media was all abuzz about her need to apologize to FOX News for her "Terrorist Fist-Jab" Remark, [ 2 ], her unfortunate status as an unwed mother, and about how she allegedly never used the word 'Whitey'.

According to those in the media, the very existence of a tape on which Michelle Obama didn't use the inflammatory language described might actually be wild speculation on the part of the media because no one has yet produced a tape that depicts the event, but the story is still somehow worthy of an endless loop of coverage.

It would seem apparent that the media is going to insure that Michelle is going to be a political liability to the Obama campaign, but they haven't figure out exactly how they are going to go about it just yet.

Also in the news is the story that Anheuser-Busch is being courted for a possible take-over merger bid by a Belgian company.

This would create a new mega-company that would become a virtual Wal-Mart of the Beer industry. I heard the story touted all day yesterday on CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, etc. Chris Matthews felt that Ed McMahon should bring out the Clydesdales to help Anheuser-Busch seal the deal. (Yes, that's really what he said.)

Naturally, Anheuser-Busch stockholders are very happy to hear that their stock in the company has risen sharply in value due to the news of the possible merger. Speculation arose about whether Busch Stadium will have to change its name and what will happen to their theme parks or whether sports facilities and college dorms will have to start serving Belgian waffles. Everyone is talking about the Budweiser Brew-haha.

Even Missouri Governor Matt Blunt is rallying round Anheuser-Busch's Belgian takeover bid, and can't wait for American jobs to go overseas after he first offers huge tax breaks for the corporate interests in his state that might be affected by the merger.

But few in the media seem to have picked up on this part of the story: Cindy McCain is chair of Hensley & Co., one of the largest Anheuser-Busch distributors in the nation. If this merger takes place and more American jobs become 'outsourced' overseas, the people that will benefit from the deal will be not only be Senator John McCain and his wife, but also the head of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, William Franke. [ 1 ]

The idea that it might be seen as just a little odd that Cindy McCain's company is entering into these potentially highly profitable merger negotiations at exactly the same time that Senator John McCain's presidential election campaign is starting to get increased media coverage (now that Senator Hillary Clinton has dropped out of the Democratic primary) is being referred to by some as a Conspiracy Theory.

This may bear some some resemblance to certain positive business fortunes that were experienced after recent events during the present administration that happened as a not-so-mysterious coincidence of Vice President Cheney's ties to Haliburton or President Bush's ties to big oil.

Senator McCain's recent vow that he will, "veto every single beer" may have had more Freudian undertones than was originally suspected, and may give us a clue as to what is really on his mind at this time.

It's not like the the media isn't paying attention to the stark differences between Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain, however. I did find two different articles that cover this story in detail. One was from Korea and the other one was from Africa.

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You are... Number Six.

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy in our campaign headquarters devising new and exciting interrogation techniques. (I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! That's Patrick McGoohan's job.) In the meantime you can watch these swell videos! I have Captain James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock singing the "I Touch Myself", and these terrific instructional videos about how to make popcorn with your cell phone! [ 1, 2, 3 ] I have the completely true and accurate evidence for this scientific phenomenon right here: [ 1, 2 ] (I must admit that I like my popcorn made the old fashioned way, smothered in butter and salt and served up in the front row of a black & white science fiction double feature matinee on a Saturday afternoon!)

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The Changing of the Guard


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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Ongoing Coverage of the Latest Winner in the 2008 Republican Russian Roulette League

The Republican Russian Roulette League

In a major embarrassment to Republican leaders in Massachusetts and in the U.S. Senate, Jim Ogonowski, the party's anointed candidate to challenge Democratic Senator John F. Kerry, failed by a razor-thin margin today to qualify for the GOP primary ballot.In a major embarrassment to Republican leaders in Massachusetts and in the U.S. Senate, Jim Ogonowski, the party's anointed candidate to challenge Democratic Senator John F. Kerry, failed by a razor-thin margin today to qualify for the GOP primary ballot.

With Ogonowski's stunning blunder, the only GOP name on the primary ballot will be Jeff Beatty, a little-known security expert from Harwich.

According to Secretary of State William F. Galvin's office, Ogonowski's campaign delivered just 9,970 certified voter signatures to its election division today just before the final deadline, 30 short of the 10,000 he needed.

His only options now are to seek relief in the courts by saying some local officials lost his signatures, as he claimed late today, or to mount a write-in campaign for the September primary.

Early in the day, Ogonowski had claimed he was about to file over 10,000 certified signatures and also lashed out at his opponent, Beatty, accusing him of practicing "gutter politics" and attacking his character for questioning the validity of his nomination papers.

"The ease of which my opposition has distorted the facts and has created lies and innuendo to attempt to keep me off the ballot just illustrates why most Americans do not trust politicians and why Congress has such a low approval rating," Ogonowski said. "He wants to resort to gutter politics, character assassinations, legal maneuvering and questionable tactics."

Beatty delivered over 17,000 signatures to Galvin's office. He declined to respond to Ogonowki's attack. [...]

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Confederate Flag: Symbol of Our American Heritage

Confederate flag T-Shirt: 'I Have a Dream...'
The Sons of Confederate Veterans have flown a 30-foot by 50-foot Confederate flag on the site of a memorial park in Eureka Springs, Florida. (Conveniently located just off the Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard exit.) Its presence has sparked headlines around the country and fostered a charged debate about what the symbol really means: Southern pride, property rights, free speech, outright racism, or merely the soothing pop culture influence of FOX News.

Critics of the giant Confederate flag point out that in the past the flag has been a symbol of the Ku Klux Klan and other racist hate groups. According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, more than 500 extremist groups use the Southern Cross as one of their symbols.

Marion Lambert of Tampa is quick to defend the giant Confederate flag, however:

They can either accept [the flag] as a hate-filled symbol or a heritage symbol. [...] This can be — if they want to be — a tourist attraction for Hillsborough County and being part of Dixie.

I don't care if everybody here is from New Jersey, from Pennsylvania, from places north. They write things like, well, I've been living here for 25 years, like a blog comment I read the other day, I've been living here for 25 years, the lady said, and I always thought the South started at the Georgia line. Well, low and behold, guess what, we're here.

The indigenous southern people are here and have not been recognized for 20 years and now we're dab-burn gonna be recognized and we're going to be embraced or there's gonna be the dickens to pay for it.

[...] The flag is going to be flown. As long as I have breath in my body and am able to function and articulate. And even if I’m gone, it doesn’t make a difference, the flag is going up. The Southern community is just enamored with this project.

The Sons of Confederate Veterans, A largely white organization, denies any racist bent in their organization. Though the soldiers that fought for the confederates were almost exclusively white, the organization has vowed that if they can find any descendents of African American soldiers that fought for the confederates in the Civil War that wish to join the Sons of Confederate Veterans, then the organization will be more than glad to let them serve drinks and clean up after party meetings.

Ann Coulter's models a Confederate flag bikini after her recently completed breast augmentation surgery, the latest stage of her ongoing sex change and gender reassignment surgery. Soon her life-long dream of being a woman will become a reality! (Coulter: 'Thank you for not staring at my adam's apple.')

RNC Party Chairman Ann Coulter has publicly expressed her dismay of the critics of the giant Confederate flag, and has vowed to ensure that in the future the flag is given the respect and dignity that the history of this symbol's rich heritage deserves. [ 1 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

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