Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing

Kevin Tillman and Army Private Jessica Lynch
The Committee on Oversight and Government Reform held a hearing entitled "Misleading Information from the Battlefield." The hearing focused on the death of Army Ranger Specialist Patrick Tillman in Afghanistan, and the capture and rescue of Army Private Jessica Lynch in Iraq. The Committee examined why inaccurate accounts of these two incidents were disseminated, the sources and motivations for the accounts, and whether the appropriate Administration officials have been held accountable. Chairman Henry Waxman, Army Private Jessica Lynch and Kevin Tillman gave opening remarks.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich questioned Specialist Patrick Tillman's brother Kevin Tillman about the mysterious destruction of his brother's property.

Rep. Danny Davis questioned Specialist Patrick Tillman's mother Mary Tillman about what senior military officials knew and when they knew it.

Rep. Elijah Cummings questioned Specialist Patrick Tillman's brother Kevin Tillman about communications inside the White House related to his brother.

Rep. Bruce Braley questioned whether edits were made to original reports about the incident that resulted in Tillman's death.

Chairman Henry Waxman questioned Specialist Patrick Tillman's mother Mary Tillman about the callous response she received from some in response to her persistence in getting the truth about her son's death. Via Nancy Pelosi

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Friday, April 27, 2007

There is no debate - Nancy Pelosi in '07!

Nancy Pelosi '07!
Did anybody watch the debate last night? I thought that Barack Obama, John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich all did very well. Richardson was a little weak in my opinion. Mike Gravel? WTF? Oh, well - who really cares...I honestly don't know what all of the fuss is about. Everybody knows that they are just going through the motions. We all know that the next president of the United States is going to be Nancy Pelosi! She is only two indictments away from the oval office! Pelosi in '07!

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Sen. Reid's colleagues have a friendly little word with David Broder

Sen. Reid's 50 Democratic colleagues have a friendly little chat with David Broder.

Yesterday, Washington Post political columnist David Broder launched an attack on Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in his column, which stated:

Here's a Washington political riddle where you fill in the blanks: As Alberto Gonzales is to the Republicans, Blank Blank is to the Democrats -- a continuing embarrassment thanks to his amateurish performance.

If you answered "Harry Reid," give yourself an A. And join the long list of senators of both parties who are ready for these two springtime exhibitions of ineptitude to end. Washington Post: David S. Broder

50 U.S. Senators Democratic responded immediately with this missive:

We, the members of the Senate Democratic Caucus, contest the attack on Sen. Harry Reid's leadership by David S. Broder in his April 26 column, "The Democrats' Gonzales."

In contrast to Mr. Broder's insinuations, we believe Mr. Reid is an extraordinary leader who has effectively guided the new Democratic majority through these first few months with skill and aplomb.

The Democratic caucus is diverse, and Mr. Reid has worked tirelessly to make sure that the views of each member are heard and represented. No one ideology dominates the caucus, so that a consensus can be reached and unity achieved. It is hard to imagine a better model for leadership.

Because Mr. Reid has the support of members of the caucus, is a good listener and has an amazing ability to synthesize views and bring people together, the Senate has accomplished a great deal during his time as majority leader. Armed with his years of service in the Senate and with a mastery of procedure, Mr. Reid has led the chamber with a slim majority and a minority that is, at times, determined to stop legislation with which it disagrees.

In the first 100 days alone, we made great strides under his leadership on long-neglected legislation concerning stem cell research, the Sept. 11 commission's recommendations and the minimum wage, to name three. In addition, under Mr. Reid's leadership, we have fulfilled our obligation, left uncompleted by last year's Republican-led Senate, to fund the federal government. He has accomplished all of this in the face of stiff opposition and with a commitment to giving ideas full opportunity for debate.

Finally, in this age of scripted politicians speaking only to their base or claiming that they "don't recall" anything, the fact that Mr. Reid speaks his mind should be applauded, not derided. His brand of straight talk is honest, comes from the heart and speaks directly to the people.

THE MEMBERS

OF THE SENATE

DEMOCRATIC CAUCUS

Washington

This letter was signed by Sen. Reid's 50 Democratic colleagues in the caucus.

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Yet another sign of the coming of the apeocolypse


Yet another sign of the coming of the apeocolypse. These chilling omens of mankind's eventual doom at the hands of my simian brethren were created by human graffiti artist Robert Banksy, found via Damn Cool Pics.

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Thursday, April 26, 2007

The swiftboating of Nancy Pelosi


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Bill Moyers on the lies of the media

Oh, crap! Bill Moyers' new documentary, Buying the War, was on last night on PBS, and I missed it! (That's what happens when you forget to read Think Progress for even a day!) But wait, it's not too late to watch it! There is even a transcript. The video is on the internet right here! I just watched it this morning.

Oh, crap! Bill Moyers' new documentary, Buying the War, was on last night on PBS and I missed it! (That's what happens when you forget to read Think Progress for even a day.) But wait, it's not too late to watch it! The video is on the internet right here! There is even a transcript.

Think Progress: The Washington Post’s Tom Shales calls it "one of the most gripping and important pieces of broadcast journalism so far this year, but it’s as disheartening as it is compelling."

Moyers and producer Kathleen Hughes use alarming evidence and an array of respected journalists to make the case that, in the rage that followed the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, the media abandoned their role as watchdog and became a lapdog instead.

Exhibit A — the first event recalled in this report — is a news conference by President Bush on March 6, 2003, which Moyers says is two weeks before Bush "will order America to war." The press conference was a sham, with Bush calling only on "friendly" reporters who’d ask friendly questions. The corker was this scorching investigative query: "Mr. President, how is your faith guiding you?"

Here is a preview on YouTube to help convince you to watch it. Just get some popcorn and and JuJuBees, and you're all set!

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Shiver me timbers! Th' Cap'n be in Washington!

Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen has gone to Washington, and she is supposed to bring me back a color 8x10 autographed picture of Speaker Nancy Pelosi!
Update: The Capn's hearing is being broadcast live on the internet right now! Click here! If you go to the House committee on Education and Labor website, the link for the webcast is in the upper-right hand corner:

"Tuesday, 04/24/2007
Full Committee
Hearing on "Strengthening the Middle Class:
Ensuring Equal Pay for Women," scheduled at 9:30 a.m.
***Live Webcast***


Update: Too late. you missed it... But No - you didn't! You can watch the archived hearing webcast! The link for the archived hearing webcast is also right here!

It would seem that the House committee on Education and Labor wouldn't let the Cap'n in the room with an eyepatch and a cutlass, but one of the other participants in the Wal-Mart class action suit spoke very eloquently on the subject at hand. Send you words of support to the Cap'n!

Among the things to watch for is Diana Furchtgott-Roth, Director Center for Employment Policy of the Hudson Institute, who gets my vote for being cast as the next available role as an evil James Bond villainess. Get that girl a white cat and a monocle! Rowwwr! She has that certain "messy litter box syndrome" sort of look about her, don't you think?

On the other hand, I swoon for Dr. Catherine Hill, Research Director for the American Association of University Women, who is not only really smart, but extra MILF-y! Oh wait, that comment was totally inappropriate in this context, wasn't it? Oops! Oh, well...

Blog your support for the Cap'n! [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen testifying before the House committee on Education and Labor.
Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen

Yesterday's News: Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen has gone to Washington, and she is supposed to bring me back a color 8x10 autographed picture of Speaker Nancy Pelosi! Oh yeah, she is also supposed to testify before the House committee on Education and Labor on Tuesday. It's all about a gender discrimination class action against Wal-Mart. The hearing is entitled "Strengthening the Middle Class: Ensuring Equal Pay for Women". I'll let Blue Gal tell you about all of that grownup stuff.

I think that the Cap'n will be on C-SPAN Tuesday morning right after the call-in show about Iraq Supplemental Funding Legislation, with guest Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL). I think that the portion of the House Proceedings with the Cap'n will be presented by Reresentatives George Miller (D-CA) and Rosa DeLauro (D-CT).

Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen looking for parking in Washington, D.C.
I hear the parking in Washington is murder!

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sunday Funnies: Old Comics With a Modern Message

These great old comics have an important message for us all! Imus should read Batman and Robin - "Stand Up for Sportsmanship!", the neocons need to learn a lesson from Buzzy says "Be sure of your facts!", and take this Teeny Quiz - "Do you have problems communicating with the establishment?" to find out that yes indeed, grownups are evil! Damn the man! Via two really great sites, Batblog and Polite Dissent.

While you are at it, mosey over to Living Between Wednesdays and check out the post "My Favourite Archie Comic" for one of the most charming Archie stories I've ever read. (All of the links will open in a new browser window.)

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Media Clichés: Men Seldom Make Passes at Girls Who Wear Glasses

There are several stereotypes that support the notion that beautiful women can't be intelligent, and intelligent women can't be beautiful.

I've always loved the old classic horror films, and a prevalent plot device would pair a female

I've always loved the old classic horror films, and a prevalent plot device in these films would pair a female "ice princess" scientist with a rough-and-tumble masculine hero. The other men in the film warn the hero to not attempt to approach her, that she is too cold and distant. The female scientist is always all business and no hanky-panky at the beginning of the film. Invariably at some point in the film the female scientist is saved from the monster by the rough-and-tumble hero, at which point she melts into his arms, and now coos warmly and affectionately at the man she formerly scorned. Science and protocol fly out the window as the two profess their love for each other and the monster dies by the final reel.

Another version of this stereotype is called the 'Miss Jones Syndrome.' where a seemingly unattractive, bespectacled woman is told to take off her glasses and loosen her hair, and voila! 'Why, Miss Jones, you are beautiful.'

Another version of this stereotype is called the "Miss Jones Syndrome." where a seemingly unattractive, bespectacled woman is told to take off her glasses and loosen her hair, and voila! "Why, Miss Jones, you are beautiful."

There are many variations and parodies on this theme. In his music video "She Blinded Me With Science," Thomas Dolby did an homage to this Cliché with the line, "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you're beautiful!"

Two recent films explore this theme, '10 things I hate about you,' and 'She's all that.' Both stories revolve around female leads that are intelligent and witty. They are also considered unattractive, not so much because of their looks, but because of their independence and attitude.

Two recent films explore this theme, "10 Things I Hate About You," and "She's All That." Both stories revolve around female leads that are intelligent and witty. They are also considered unattractive, not so much because of their looks, but because of their independence and attitude. (Imagine that!) Their male suitors must tame them until they are brought under submission. This rather sexist storyline is actually a recycled version of "the Taming of the Shrew" by William Shakespeare.

How to get the Popular Boy Without Comprimising Your Unique Rebeliousness.

Another recent film that portrays these stereotypes is the film, "Not Another Teen Movie." The film is a parody, and the female lead portrays many of the cliches mentioned. The title of the book the character is reading in the center still in the photo above is "How to get the Popular Boy Without Compromising Your Unique Rebelliousness."

Independent women are portrayed on television as lead characters, but usually the same or similar stereotypes apply. Dana Scully is portrayed as very intelligent and perceptive woman in the television show

Independent women are sometimes portrayed on television as lead characters, but usually the same or similar stereotypes apply. Dana Scully is portrayed as very intelligent and perceptive woman in the television show "The X-Files." Her character seemed to have abandoned all femininity in the show, however. Any romantic encounters that she ever had on the show were merely foils to Fox Muldar's escapades. She is, in essence, the straight man to Muldar's goofy persona. She was not a romantic character. Even when she became pregnant in the series, the child's conception was a mystery. (Presumably the child was the result of an alien abduction.) Muldar was definitely the more sexual character of the two, as he at least had an extensive porn collection.

A stereotype seems to be fostered that states that submissive women are "rewarded" with romance, and independent women "punished" with a lonely and unromantic life. This stereotype is prevalent through out all media.

The same can be said for other strong female characters, such as Mary Tyler Moore, Murphy Brown, Uhura, and Seven-of-Nine. The message appears to be that if you are an independent thinking woman, you are not attractive.

A cold and distant librarian by day, Barbara Gordon eschews the Dewy Decimal System by night and becomes the confident and defiant crime-fighting Batgirl. Batgirl is hot, Barbara Gordon is not, but neither seems sexually attainable. Batgirl is brassy and defiant, Barbara is so intelligent that no man would find her attractive.

Batgirl From the old "Batman" TV show is an excellent case in point of this phenomenon. A cold and distant librarian by day, Barbara Gordon eschews the Dewy Decimal System by night and becomes the confident and defiant crime-fighting Batgirl. Batgirl is hot, Barbara Gordon is not, and neither seems sexually attainable. Batgirl is brassy and defiant, and Barbara is so intelligent that no man would ever find her attractive. Note also that Batgirl is another example of the "Miss Jones Syndrome," by way of Clark Kent. Take the glasses off of the librarian and put her in a clingy outfit and she is instantly desirable!

It's also worth noting that the Batman TV series was high camp and rather silly, and Batgirl's role was usually to get captured and the rescued by the final episode. She was only allowed to kick or push villains in a fight - she was not allowed to punch them. The writers thought it would make her look "unfeminine."

From the cartoon series 'Scooby Doo,' Daphne Blake (AKA 'Danger-prone Daphne') is the coy and demure ghostbuster that is eternally captured and saved by Freddie, the male lead that is cryptically wearing an ascot. Velma Dace Dinkley is the resident genius of the group, and is often the member of the team that deciphers the clues and solve the crimes. She is also lacking in self-confidence, clumsy, and is considered sort of annoying by the rest of the team. She is a comedic foil to Daphne's damsel-in-distress. The smart girl is unattractive, the attractive girl is not smart.

From the cartoon series "Scooby Doo," Daphne Blake (AKA "Danger-prone Daphne") is the coy and demure ghostbuster that is eternally captured and saved by Freddie, the male lead that is cryptically wearing an ascot. Velma Dace Dinkley is the resident genius of the group, and is often the member of the team that deciphers the clues and solve the crimes. She is also lacking in self-confidence, and is considered sort of clumsy and annoying by the rest of the team. She is a comedic foil to Daphne's damsel-in-distress. The smart girl is unattractive, the attractive girl is not smart.

Daria Morgendorffer and her younger sister, Quinn, embody the same stereotype that Daphne and Velma exhibit, except the lead of the show is the mousy girl in the glasses!

Perpetuating the same stereotype, but reverse, is the television program "Daria." Daria Morgendorffer and her younger sister, Quinn, embody the same stereotype that Daphne and Velma exhibit, except the lead of the show is the mousy girl in the glasses! Another show that has broken this same mold is "Ugly Betty."

'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Xena Warrior Princess' differed from these other show's in that the female leads in these two shows bend the rules of the adventure genre, in that a female is controlling the narrative and doing battle usually reserved for men. In these two shows the female leads are portrayed as fierce warriors, more able to fight in battle than their male counterparts.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Xena Warrior Princess" differed from these other show's in that the female leads in these two shows bend the rules of the adventure genre, a female is controlling the narrative and fighting the battles usually reserved for men. In these two shows the female leads are portrayed as fierce warriors, more able to fight in battle than their male counterparts. The appeal of the show is the novelty of a female character portrayed as a dynamic and heroic figure. Note also that thes are female characters portraying typical male character attributes, these are not realistic women portrayed in a natural setting.

Another stereotype the television portrays is called the 'Betty and Veronica' syndrome, where two girls are in love with one man, or two girls are compared based upon their differing attributes. Veronica is a vivacious rich girl with sex appeal, whereas Betty is more of a dependable, down-home sort of girl. The male then becomes the central figure of the trio, with the two females competing for his attentions. This plot device is used to create an eternal sexual tension between the male and female characters without resolution.

Another stereotype the television portrays is called the "Betty and Veronica" syndrome, where two girls are in love with one man, or two girls are compared based upon their differing attributes. Veronica is a vivacious rich girl with sex appeal, whereas Betty is more of a dependable, down-home sort of girl. The male then becomes the central figure of the trio, with the two females competing for his attentions. This plot device is used to create an eternal sexual tension between the male and female characters without resolution.

The TV show "Gilligan's Island" had a similar competitive duo, with Mary Ann as the Girl-Next-Door, and Ginger as the Hollywood sex kitten.

As a quick final note, I would like to point out that almost invariably female aliens from outer space are sexy, and male aliens are much more likely to be ugly, threatening and made out of theatrical latex.

As a quick final note, I would like to point out that almost invariably female aliens from outer space are sexy, and male aliens are much more likely to be ugly, threatening and made out of theatrical latex.

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New college prerequisite: AMMO!

In the wake of a shooting tragedy, the need for new tools of higher education emerge.
In the wake of a shooting tragedy, you can always count on the media to show the correct reverence for the families of the victims. At a time of grief such as this, the friends and relatives of the victims have only one thing they want the media to talk about, and that is that the obvious solution to the Virginia Tech shootings would have been more guns, not less...

Virginia Tech doesn’t allow its students to carry guns on campus; EVEN WITH CONCEALED CARRY PERMITS. They busted a student last year for carrying a gun on campus, even though he was carrying a completely legal concealed-carry permit.

If someone had a weapon, this wackjob Cho could have been stopped a lot sooner. Cao's Blog

what happened yesterday on the Virginia Tech campus is an example of gun control at its best. Larry Pratt, Executive Director of Gun Owners of America, Media Matters

Clearly the Virginia Tech shootings were the fault of a particular political party. See if you can guess which one...

If Hillary or Obama get elected and the Congress remains under Democratic Party control, do you think liberals in full power of our government -- do you think that they will attempt to disembowel the Second Amendment even more so than what we've seen today? The Gunny Bob Show, Media Matters

Limbaugh: If this Virginia Tech shooter had an ideology, what do you think it was? This guy had to be a liberal. You start railing against the rich and all this other -- this guy's a liberal. He was turned into a liberal somewhere along the line. So it's a liberal that committed this act. Now, the drive-bys will read on a website that I'm attacking liberalism by comparing this guy to them. That's exactly what they do every day, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just pointing out a fact. I am making no extrapolation; I'm just pointing it out. They try -- whenever -- I can tell you from the history of this program, starting way back in the early '90s, when there was any kind of an incident, crime or what-have-you that attracted national attention, in the early days of this program, the drive-by media went out and they tried to connect the perpetrator to this program. They did everything they could. In fact, it went so far as Bill Clinton blaming me for influencing Timothy McVeigh to blow up the bureau building [sic: Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City]. These are the people sponsoring lies and distortion for the purposes of dividing this country and creating hatred. These are the people that invented this kind of tactic, if you will. Media Matters

OK, that was good. Now, can you conflate the Virgina Tech shooting to help the president spread his message about the War on Terror, AND promote xenophobia?

Responding to the April 16 mass shooting at Virginia Tech, right-wing pundit Debbie Schlussel "speculat[ed]" in an April 16 weblog post that the shooter, who had been identified at that point only as a man of Asian descent, might be a "Paki" Muslim and part of "a coordinated terrorist attack." "Paki" is a disparaging term for a person of Pakistani descent.

Schlussel wrote, "The murderer has been identified by law enforcement and media reports as a young Asian male," adding, "The Virginia Tech campus has a very large Muslim community, many of which are from Pakistan." Schlussel continued: "Pakis are considered 'Asian,' " and asked, "Were there two [shooters] and was this a coordinated terrorist attack?" Schlussel asserted that the reason she was "speculating that the 'Asian' gunman is a Pakistani Muslim" was "[b]ecause law enforcement and the media strangely won't tell us more specifically who the gunman is." Schlussel claimed that "[e]ven if it does not turn out that the shooter is Muslim, this is a demonstration to Muslim jihadists all over that it is extremely easy to shoot and kill multiple American college students." Media Matters

Gosh, that was fun! I think that we all learned an important lesson today, boys and girls! Homer Simpson has it all worked out, as pointed out by Evil Spock, via Blue Gal.

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Let's play... Name That Psycho!


In never ending quest for quality news programming, the media has found a winner in it's latest American beauty pageant that is directed at the gruesome category of "highest number of kills by an American psycho." My deepest condolences to the family and friends of the victims of this shooting, as well as the American viewing public - who is being forced to watch the unfolding media spectacle that is taking place.

There are some really great posts on the subject, including the likes of the Omnipotent Poobah, Electronic Cerebrectomy, DownWithTyranny! and Brilliant at Breakfast via Spiiderweb.

Archie Andrews
Game Show Host: Let's play...Name That Psycho!

Archie Andrews
Contestants: Yay!

Archie AndrewsGame Show Host: The clues are: This American psycho has been know to wear paramilitary gear during a press release, and is responsible for the sensless deaths of many Americans.

Archie Andrews
Contestant #1: Fidel Castro!

Archie AndrewsGame Show Host: No, Fidel Castro is a Cuban, not an American. This psycho has poor interpersonal communication skills, and when on camera he tends to give speeches that are incoherent and filled with hate.

Archie Andrews
Contestants: Hey! It must be one of those FOX News psychos!

Archie AndrewsGame Show Host: This psycho blames all of his problems on those around him, and this psycho has a casual disregard for the lives of others. He has been diagnosed as a danger to himself, and others.

Archie Andrews
Contestant #3: He is talking about the President, right?

Archie Andrews
Contestant #1: Hmm,... That must be it. Who else could it be? Unless he means Cho Seung-Hui. We need more clues!

Archie Andrews
Game Show Host: Ha Ha! This is a tough one, all right! Let's ask the studio audience...

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Nancy Pelosi is pulling strings at the White house

There is mounting evidence that the attempts to undermine Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Syria were co-ordinated by Bush deputy National Security Adviser Elliott Abrams, at the command of Dick Cheney. Cheney's daughter, Liz Cheney also wrote a nice little hatchet job for her father as well.
There is mounting evidence that the attempts to undermine Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Syria were co-ordinated by Bush deputy National Security Adviser Elliott Abrams, at the behest of Dick Cheney. Cheney's daughter, Liz Cheney, wrote a nice little hatchet job in the Washington Post for her father as well.

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Friday, April 13, 2007

A Few Press Releases Short of a Homeland Security Alert

Fantasterrrrriffic!
I don't want to give you the impression that I just sit around all day reading blogs and watching videos on YouTube, but...

Part of a Daily Balanced Diet
I was trying to figure out my taxes, and I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that they now hav a 1087 alpha-orangutan form, the "scientific and theocratic simian leader from the future" form. Those guys think of everything! Still, I am having trouble find a bank that will convert my Ape City cash for American dollars.

Blue Gal's Easter Weekend Blog Against Theocracy was a huge success. If you missed it, you can still go read all of the links. (Insert shameless self-promotion here) My contribution was the online comic Jesus Convention, and the unfortunately tardy The Archie Gang - With Special Guest Star Test Tube Jesus!. Both of which you should go an d read right now. I'm not saying that puppies will be mistreated by rodeo clowns if you don't go read them, but do you really want to take that chance?

Tiny Plaid Ninja. Tiny Plaid Ninja. Tiny Plaid Ninja. Go watch Tiny Plaid Ninja. He's Tiny! He's Plaid! He's a Ninja! Go watch Tiny Plaid Ninja. Tiny Plaid Ninja. Tiny Plaid Ninjaaaaaaa! (Are you still here? Go watch it already!)

I used to like Becca at No Smoking at the Skull Cave, but that was before I found out that she had so many toys that rightfully should belong to ME! I shouldn't be jealous, but just look at all of the cool stuff she has! I thought I had some neat stuff, but looking at her toys makes me feel like Charlie Brown on Halloween. ("I got a rock.") She's got Misc. Star Wars, Xena, Wrestling and He-Man toys, Pokemon toys, Cartoon-Related toys, Lord of the Rings toys, Movie and Video Game Related toys and even a girl in a bikini riding a robot dinosaur! Life is so unfair.

Which brings up my next subject, what do I want for Christmas? It's never too early to start making a list! I am going to ask Santa for Lawgiver statue 1, Lawgiver statue 2, every single Medicom Toy Store POTA playset, Oh heck...How about just one of everything POTA from amoktime.com. Then of course, I really need one of these for around the house, the Trilogy of Terror Zuni Fetish Warrior. (If you haven't seen Trilogy of Terror, then you just wouldn't understand.) I have no idea how I am even able to answer the phone without an Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet. I need two sets of these Corporate Zombies - one for my sister, naturally. Don't laugh at this next one, there are many pefectly valid reasons for having a Mr. Potato Head Spiderman, I just haven't thought of any of them yet. I also need one of everything from Flapjack Toys, and of course an animatronic human sculpture in bronze and stainless steel by Mark Ho. While you are at it Santa, I wouldn't mind Scooby Dooby Doo, Seasons 1 & 2 (See? It rhymes!), and a Plush Monty Python Killer Rabbit. I think that for Christmas gifts this year, I will give out Giant Microbes, becuase that's just the kind of guy I am!

Sometimes the cover is better than the book, in this case the website may be better than most books! This site advertising a book called no one belongs here more than you is sheer genius! Via the wonderful Blue Gal.

TBDOA was the greatest link I've seen in a long time! (It's not just about teddy bears, OK?) And then I saw the Columbia Business School's Dean Glenn Hubbard put his heart on his sleeve. Too funny! Both via the incomperable Omnipotent Poobah.

This video of the "Superfriends Office Space" confirms all of my previous suspisions. Gren Lantern is a total dickhead!

If your graphic design teacher was Quentin Tarantino, you might come up with something like this: "Pulp Fiction in Typography." With the right soundtrack and sunglasses, any font is deadly. (San-serif or not.)

These college students perform a "live-action" skit of the old school super mario brothers video game at a talent show. It's HILARIOUS... Super Mario Brothers via Damn Cool Pics.

Samurai Frog has posted a brilliant send-up of the Commander in Thief, "From Bushspeak to Plain English, This Guy's a Dick." "America, you know. Wow, America. Hey America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind!"

This video was funnier than I thought would be, Steve Jobs Launches The iRack via Crooks and Liars

In the "Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?" department, I submit the following waste of time diversion. It's really funny to watch the different versions of Adam And The Ants doing the catchy pop tune "Goody Two Shoes". OK, that was funny, but check out Adam Ant's silly introductory dance numbers in these two videos: [ 2, 3 ]. Was that ever hip? And what is with that get-up he's wearing? The little gun and everything? I forgive him though, because he was really funny in the famous film that nobody has heard of, "Trust Me." Along related lines, Son of Svengoolie did a decent parody of Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes" called "Who Do You Amuse, You?" Also, my initial reaction to this sims 2 machinima version of the song was that it was kind of dreadful, (but I mean that in a best way!) but I found myself having a deep religious experience with the little blonde girl avatar that you see throughout the video. Who knew that you could get so attached to a complex series of ones and zeros! She plays the guitar in the beginning, near the middle she has a couple of hot dance numbers, the mandatory hot tub scene, and don't click out before the end of the ending credits! There is a brief bikini sequence where she fans herself. Be still my heart!

Check out some of the entrants in this Great Alice in Wonderland Sculpture contest. Some of these sculptures are really cool! The white Rabbit meets an untimely end in one them, I'm afraid.

For the kids, might I suggets The Politically Incorrect Alphabet. Great little iconic drawings.

A great clip from the film Bedazzled, The Post-box scene. This is one of the best films ever! This is from the 1967 version of the film With Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, which was brilliant! Not to be confused with the 2000 version of the film, which was on so-so, saved only because Elizabeth Hurley was in it, and Brendan Fraser was OK. If you haven't already seen the original 1967 version, then you really should do so. The fate of the free world depends on this!

Becca over at No Smoking in the Skull Cave found this great video of an Eddie Izzard bit about the Death Star canteen as acted out by two vidiots. It's really funny! It's called "Who's Jeff Vader?"

A fellow simian, 10 Zen Monkeys, actually sent me these two cool links by email. My favorite is the Six Freakiest Childrens TV Rock Bands, and the other was 5 best videos animals attacking reporters.

Sometimes you have to see it to believe it, and sometimes you have to hear it to believe it. Click here to see some amazing breakdancing, and click here to hear "ricoloop im kammermusiksaal!."

A pretty Girl in a Cape is like a Melody
Not much Batgirl news going on this week, but the best Batgirl/Batwoman quote I have heard all month was: "So...Batwoman would be all MILF-y, right?" via Poor Mojo Newswire

Does a pretty girl in a cape need super-powers to catch her man? No, but it helps! Instead of Batgirl, this month I shall focus on Supergirl. Do you like to look at pictures of Supergirl? I mean a lot of pictures of Supergirl? How about even more pictures of Supergirl? So sorry, I am afraid that the only topic available today is way too many pictures of much Supergirl. A blogstorm of Supergirl pix was created by an assortment of very talented artists, and links to all of the pictures can be found at this link, Draw Supergirl. The sheer volume of pictures is astounding.

One blog tried to narrow it down a bit with Project Rooftop: [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]. No matter how you look at it, though, this is still a whole lotta Supergirl goin' on. It is impossible for me to find a favorite, but this one is pretty close! Titled "Darkseid vs Supergirl," I think it captures the essence of supergirl-y-ness, from a Darkseid perspective of course!

You must see this! A very brief Lufthansa promotional ad from the late 60s. Extra hippy chick delicious!

This is hilarious! Sarah Brightman's tribute to glitter, smoke machines and spandex, it's I Lost my Heart to a Starship Trooper. Trust me on this one, read the lyrics. "Space suit is lying on control room floor, Pulse rate increasing as the heat factor soars!" The allusions are intergalactically delicious! "Encounters one and two are not enough for me, What my body needs is close encounter three!" (See, she mentioned "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" without invoking copyright infringement. Oh, crap. it's just not funny if you have to explain it.) Via The Total Recall.

If you don't already have a collection of Hot ASCII Porn, then you don't know what your missing! Oh, man! I had no idea that monospaced fonts could be so naughty! via Poor Mojo Newswire.

This video is truly delightful! It's a Lily Allen video that describes reality far too well, to a reggae beat. Sadly, I doubt that most people want to hear about reality, but *jeepers* what a great video.

Don't bother me, I'm reliving my teenhood! The girls of the moment on YouTube for me are The Waitresses singing "I Know What Boys Like," Blondie singing "Dreaming," and Patty Smyth singing Goodbye to You.

This entry depicts Japanese girls singing Meenie-meenie-GO-GO-GO! from 1967. Did I mention they are wearing miniskirts and go-go dancing? Holy "Tiger Tanaka," Bond-san! Meenie-meenie-GO-GO-GO!

If this doesn't get a rise out of Samurai Frog and Becca, nothing will. The Comic Book Bondage Cover of the Day is cool enough by itself, but there is the Comic Book Bondage Cover of the Day - Previously Featured Covers Archive! Just go ahead and unplug the phone, this is going to take awhile.

Don't let the antique html fool you, there are some really great images of pulp covers at Galactic Central, including, Sci-Fi, Genre, Love Story, and "Saucy!" Favorite magazine category title? Scared Naked Magazine - Strange Plasma, of course.

Just for the Cap'n, Angelina Jolie fantasy hair: [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ] link via the Wonderful Wizard of Poobah, natch.

Why Cthulu is way cooler than any other religion, the invisible Octopus does a quick change. Porn with eight legs! Do the math - Just imagine what the garters would look like!

What's harder than a thesaurus and twice as long? Mosey on over to Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms! This may come in handy under some bizarre set of circumstances. (Then again, maybe not. Still, it's funny!)

I don't know where Samurai Frog find all of these great pictures, but here are some awesome shots of Rosario Dawson and Scarlett Johansson. Pretty amazing stuff - but sorry, Froggie. Your Kung Fu is weak when compared to Becca from No Smoking in the Skull Cave, who has provided us with a naked girl doing battle with action figures! Yowsa! We are talking Katia Corriveau versus GI Joe Kung-Fu Grip action! It's kind of hard to top that. Becca also found some great old Pepsi ads. If it's vintage, it's for me!

Barbie Porn! Not for the squemish, we have Psycho Barbie & Ken's Wedding Day Sex & Blood Bath Orgy via Omnipotent Poobah.

Jordan Matter photographer has produced a "collection of photographs featuring bare-breasted women in public around New York City" Uncovered: Busting Out in the Big Apple. It's not porn, though, it's art! Or at least that's what they tell me. Still, the girl eating pizza and the girl in the staircase makes me wanna do some major gerrymandering in my congressional districts, if you know what I mean.

Just in time for Easter! You know how all of the photos of the Britney Spears birth Statue were coyly taken from a front angle? Here it is, The Britney Spears birth Statue. From Behind. You can just see the tippy-top of the alien publicist head of a radioactive soon-to-be Scientologist emerging. See?

Peep Nation
These are all the links that I was going to post about Peeps for Easter, but didn't because I was to busy. Still, no good Peep should go uneaten, so you should find that the following links are guaranteed to be filled with rich, creamy Peepness: Peeps Corporate Headquarters, Cooking with Peeps, Peep Haiku, Wikipedia Peeps, Eat-A-Peep for Jesus, Tour of the Peep factory, Peeps as fish bait, Peep Plays, Biker Peeps, two video games - Peep Invaders and Peepsteroids, and the ambitious and sweeping epic, Lord of the Peeps.

It's not all skittles and beer, though. There is a dark side the world of Peeps. People are encouraging our children to Clone Peeps. There are even warning signs of the end times! Read, if dare, Marshmallow Peeps: the Harbingers of Doom for the Human Race?

There are the unknown horrors of Peep Research, including library usage Peep Research. (Yikes! They are teaching our children to read!) Some organizations are taking the matter to task though. There are those that dare to say, Ban Peeps Research!. Something must be done about atrocities such as the Bunnies Survival Tests, and Bunny Survival Tests Chapter II. People are even making movies about Nuking Peeps!

All of the above said, we have hardly even scratched the surface! Confections are being forced to pose for the indignities of Peep porn! Be warned...these links are not for the faint of heart! Young chicks are forced into every position imaginable at the ultra-trashy Tracy & Mia's Peep-O-Rama, the lascivious Dave April's - Digital Art & Photo Gallery Peep Photos, the amateur Peep Gallery! [ 2 ] Supple young marshmallow treats are paraded around like so much meat at the Peeps Show photo contest. There are many a broken heart and squished Peep's hopes abandoned at the Big List of Peeps Links.

What is to be done with the leftover marshmallow peeps piled in boxes in the closeout sections of grocery and drug stores? That's easy...sacrifice them to Cthulhu!

Catholic: It's the new Protestant!
So much better than I thought it was gonna be! It's the New York Dolls video, Dance Like a Monkey "Cmon shake your little monkey hips, my pretty little creationist!" Via Hellbound Alleee.

Double Zoinks! Here is another great video: "Creation Science 101" by Roy Zimmerman. (Complete with ape noises!) This is a great song! Via my friend George, who never reads my blog because he is a total piss-ant.

The Bible Summarized by a Smartass has sprinted past the The 12 Minor Prophets, and promises to enter first leg of the New Testament with the Gospel According to Matthew! Time to mark your calendar for the main event.

I thought for sure that this had to be a joke, but no - it's on the level. It's the AMAZING! "Threat Alert" Jesus! The website is merely a graphic of the packaging, and nothing more. The text is extra-creepy funny, in a homespun but passionately credulous sort of way. "This incredible invention receives signals directly from the Dept. of Homeland Security anywhere within the continental U.S. and changes color the moment the national threat level is updated." According to the package, you will be protected through the "miracle" of technology! I am sure that it is updated via airport radio just like the new clocks are, but still..."Threat Alert" Jesus! Yipes!

A whole website devoted to Chocolatey Christian Goodness. Sorry, after filling the most recent Mark Foley order, they are all out of the Large Communion Boy Lollipops.

This is a teachers aid, the Visual Kit for The Blood of Jesus. You know, for the kids! Among the things that you get for $124 smackers are a Crown of Thorns, One Crucifixion Nail, Cat of Nine Tails Whip, Life-size Latex Heart Model, Cardboard Ark of the Covenant, and Instructions to Make High Priest Costume. My favorite is the "Chef's cap for High Priest's Crown." That would never look silly, right? via grow-a-brain

Because everyone knows that Jesus is all about winning at the slot machines and crap tables, for only 9.95 you can get your own Faith Chips.

Go and watch Jesus Swimming. Yeah, I know. That's all he does. OK, after doing that, guess what the Jesus saves bank does. Wasn't that fun?

I love this! Archie's Parables, (pdf) a Christian comic book. Riverdale High? Only Christians need apply! Go to page 18-19 for the official dating survey. Among questions like "Does Archie need a new car?" And "Should Archie forget about Veronica?" they sneak in about 20 god related questions, like "Do you believe that god know how we really feel inside?" There is some great stuff! At one point the only way that Jughead can only fall in love with a girl is by imagining that she is a hot dog (!), and Dilton would rather read a book than date a girl (!!). Is this really the message that we want to send our kids? Veronica = Bad, Betty = Good, of course. At one point everybody talks about who they would like to date, and Betty says that she wants to date god. Jeepers! Talk about stiff competition!

If only I could travel to a world where women and dinosaurs coexist. With the science of creationism, you dreams have come true! Check out CSICOP, the Observer, and New York Times. From No Smoking in the Skull Cave's messages.

This is what happened to Neocon Jesus! Perhpas the greatest Easter image yet, The Passion of the Peeps. Via Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen.

It looks like this link has changed since I last looked at it. It used to be about how to How to Stop an Alien Abduction, now it is just about Jesus and Aliens. Yay! Half Jeusus, Half X-Files. They also cover exorcism!

Not quite Father Guido Sarducji's "find the Pope in the Pizza," nor is it "where's Waldo." But the old internet standard, "Where is Jesus?" is always good way to spend a few frustrating moments.

Santa Claus and Satan's Cause walks hand-in-hand with Santa Claus: The Great Imposter.

Dieting the Jesus way! Sweatin' to the Old Testament offers info on the Christian diet. Some of the titles of these diets include: "Slim for Him," "Help Lord - The Devil Wants Me Fat!" "More of Jesus, Less of Me" "Body by God" and of course "What Would Jesus Eat?"

Test Tube Jesus was not the first Jesus to get frisky with a dinosaur, as you can see from this artwork of sex w/dinosaurs, it's far more graphic than we thought.

Could Spidey have joined the dark side? Can he really be aligned with the forces of "intelligent design"? Via Orac Knows.

To keep things in perspective, sing along kareoke-style with Eric Idle to The Galaxy Song from Monty Python's 1983 film The Meaning of Life.

Damn the Man Department
Samurai Frog has posted a brilliant send-up of the Commander in Thief, "From Bushspeak to Plain English, This Guy's a Dick." "America, you know. Wow, America. Hey America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind!"

These are great! I am surprised I had not heard of them before. The New Dubya-Doo Movies [ 2 ] are both really great works of animation, and capture the look and feel of the old Scooby Doo cartoons really well. Funny stuff!

I think that we owe it to all politician to listen to their message, even if we don't agree with them. In this case, Arnold Schwarzenegger shares his deepest feelings, and articulates his important plans for the future.

Al Gore explains Internet Porn. OK, it's right-wing, but it's still funny!

Samurai Frog made an interesting point about our edu-ma-cation system with the post "Makes Our State of Education Look Even Sadder."

Karl Rove Raps is already boring, but how come nobody is talking about how he said that he liked to tear the heads off of small animals? No, I'm not making a joke, that's what he said!

If George Orwell is not spinning in his grave, it is because he is camera shy. "On the wall outside his former residence - flat number 27B - where Orwell lived until his death in 1950, an historical plaque commemorates the anti-authoritarian author. And within 200 yards of the flat, there are 32 CCTV cameras, scanning every move. Orwell's view of the tree-filled gardens outside the flat is under 24-hour surveillance from two cameras perched on traffic lights. The flat's rear windows are constantly viewed from two more security cameras outside a conference centre in Canonbury Place. In a lane, just off the square, close to Orwell's favourite pub, the Compton Arms, a camera at the rear of a car dealership records every person entering or leaving the pub. Within a 200-yard radius of the flat, there are another 28 CCTV cameras, together with hundreds of private, remote-controlled security cameras used to scrutinise visitors to homes, shops and offices." boingboing via spocko.stumbleupon.com

I used to tangle with this guy on newsgroups about the Starbaby Fiasco. He wrote an interesting paragraph that I thought was worth mentioning, Jim Lippard on Ron Paul (R-TX)

This is a great compilation of FOX News screenshots, titled FOX NEWS, Crazy Right Wing Propaganda. In hindsight, it is really funny to look at these.

How come nobody ever talks about this? Does anybody even remember that the president gave away the plans to the atomic bomb to anybody that had internet access and was looking at the White House website? You know, like any country on the planet with an intelligence agency? "Last March, the federal government set up a Web site to make public a vast archive of Iraqi documents captured during the war." ... "But in recent weeks, the site has posted some documents that weapons experts say present a danger themselves: detailed accounts of Iraq's secret nuclear research before the 1991 Persian Gulf War. The documents, the experts say, constitute a basic guide to building an atom bomb." New York Times

As I already mentioned, Kelly the Little Black Dog has created a new blog, The bizarre things people believe. Her first post is titled, What is a neo-con?

WTF? Check this page out! I think this means that Speaker Nancy Pelosi is responsible for all of Republican scandals of the last 5 years! Then again, maybe I'm reading in wrong...Maybe it just means that she is a Sagittarius or something. Put this is the "interesting charts that have no meaning whatsoever" section, right next to the sock drawer.

Blue Gal is Facing the fear and blogging it anyway about the story of some censorship on a major blog, Daily Kos, that is caving in to the will of the Wingnuts (it sounds like.) No Freedom of Expression at Daily Kos describes the details. For me at least, it is all about the Little Green Football Panties, though. I hate Little Green Footballs.

Here is a post, "Daily KOS silences international activist Ben Heine for 'anti-Semitism'" about some censorship on a major blog, caving in to the will of the Wingnuts it sounds like. No Freedom of Expression at Daily Kos, via Blue Gal.

Tops in the "Are you smarter than a fifth grader dept.," go check out the coolest candidate yet! Her website is at Elect Susie Flynn for President. But is the country ready for a woman teenage pre-teen girl president? Via the Omnipotent Poobah.



Easter Bunny and Peeps

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