Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Sarh Palin: The Fine Art of Achieving Professional Victimhood

America has recently learned from Sarah Palin's new book how unfairly she has been treated by the mainstream media...

Finally it has become clear to the public how unseemly the relationship was between certain members in the media and the current administration during the last presidential election...

Like it or not, fascism is on the rise!

This is for a Photoshop Meme started by Blue Gal, who wanted us to create images based on these photos of Katie Couric Dancing. So far there are entries from: Blue Gal, Darkblack, Distributor Cap, Driftglass, Fried Green Al Quaidas, Lockwood and Tengrain.

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Looks Can Be Deceiving


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Friday, November 27, 2009

I Live In Constant Fear of Killer Robots From the Future...


"As President, I believe that robotics can inspire young people to pursue science and engineering. And I also want to keep an eye on those robots, in case they try anything.", via

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Bishop Thomas Tobin

This is worth watching. I have two videos of Bishop Thomas Tobin, the fellow that decided that Rep. Patrick Kennedy should be denied Communion because of his stance on abortion rights, as interviewed on Hardball with Chris Matthews and The O'Reilly Factor.

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I'll Go on a Diet... Right After Some More of That Delicious Pumpkin pie!

Oh dear, I am so stuffed that I can hardly move. I think that I might explode! What's that you say? there is still some delicious Pumpkin pie left? Hmm, maybe if I gently massage my tummy, I can make room for just a little more... Two slices please!

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The More Things Change...

After all of the holiday hijinks that have taken place over the last few years...

You may be wondering what the Gop is cooking up for Thanksgiving for this year?

Turns out it's the same old steaming pile of crap.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

No time for blogging today! I am very busy making a killing on some important real estate deals. In the meantime, you can have some fun with these swell Thanksgiving Day Riddles! (Pumpkin pie? Two slices, please!)


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More Kitty Videos

All I have today is an awesome array of cute kitty videos, many of which were mailed to me by Tengrain of Mock, Paper, Scissors. (Thanks, Tengrain!)

I also offer further evidence of the uncanny intelligence of cats...

They understand the importance of between-meal-snacks!
(Prefferably chocolate cake, of course.)


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Phantom Zone Kitties: "We are the Pet Cats of Kryptonian Criminals!"

Phantom Zone Kitties:

I knew that there was reason why my cat is so evil! It's like this, all of the evil criminals from Krypton were kept is a special inter-dimensional prison called the Phantom Zone.

Remember Superman II with Terence Stamp as General Zod, and Sarah Douglas as Ursa? (Mmm, Ursa...) Well, Zod and Ursa were escaped prisoners from the Phantom Zone.

Now, as this picture from a Superboy comic book clearly illustrates, the evil criminals from Krypton that are held in the Phantom Zone have evil Kryptonian pet cats that were exiled as well! And these evil Kryptonian cats are able to channel their thoughts into our cats, and convince them to go along with their evil Kryptonian kitty plans!

It's so simple! It all makes perfect sense. I am now beginning to understand my own cat's erratic behavior. You know how your cat gets that faraway look in their eyes, and stares blankly into space? They are really listening to the evil plans of Kryptonian kitty criminals from the Phantom Zone!

I would like to give special thanks to Progressive Ruin for providing conclusive evidence of the truth behind this chilling phenomenon. Damn you, evil Phantom Zone kitties from Krypton!

This is a Zaius Nation reprint


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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Baby Names


This post is for my good friend Derk the Jerk over at Man-Eating Cheeseburger, who is trying to think of names for his and his wife's upcoming addition to their family. As much as I enjoy this list of possible baby names, I must say that I disagree with the author of this insightful chart on one particular point. I think that "Streaky" is an awesome name! (That's Supergirl's cat, you know.) Via Rachelle of Living Between Wednesdays.

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Friday, November 20, 2009

A Deeper Shade of Red

Now that Sarah Palin's Book tour has begun...

Who knows where it might lead!

I agree with Palin: Beck is indeed a 'hoot' and he's very, very, very effective, at lying about President Obama and whipping his paranoid base into a deluded frenzy.

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Care Bears On Fire Singing "Barbie Eat a Sandwich"

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregrious and I are busy studying the Krell civilization on the distant planet of Altair IV. I really enjoy the pastoral landscapes, the goofy robot and all of the creepy theremin music - but I am growng increasing fearful of the "monsters from the id!" (This planet is very Freudian, I must say.) In the meantime you can watch this swell music video of Care Bears On Fire singing "Barbie Eat a Sandwich". (And afterwards, might I suggest a little dessert...)


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Johnny Storm is Having a Bad Day....


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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sarah Palin: "Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow."

Now that Sarah Palin in the defacto leader of the Republican Party...

She has chosen a running mate for 2012. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

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Monday, November 16, 2009

The Sarah Palin Video Game: The Race To Success

This is the first game that I made with my good friend Derk the Jerk over at Man-Eating Cheeseburger. It might seem a little rough around the edges because we kept starting other games (The Separation of Church and State, Senate Finance Committee, and Whack-A-Wingnut) and only worked on this game when weren't working on one of the other games. Although the game was perhaps a bit goofy and slipshod, it helped us learn a lot about how to make a video game and to understand the advantages and the limitations of the medium.

UPDATE: From reading some of the comments, I wanted to clarify that just like all of the other games that we made (The Separation of Church and State, Senate Finance Committee, and Whack-A-Wingnut), Derk the Jerk over at Man-Eating Cheeseburger did all of the coding. I just supplied some of the artwork and stuff. He deserves all of the coding credit! :o)

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Former McCain Strategist John Weaver Insults Giant Invisible Rabbits Everywhere

"Sarah Palin reminds me of Jimmy Stewart in the movie 'Harvey,' complete with imaginary conversations," said former McCain strategist John Weaver. Los Angelos Times


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Jeepers! CNN paid Lou Dobbs $8 million to quit!

"Although Lou Dobbs has been saying that his departure from CNN was an 'amicable parting on the best of terms,' the New York Post reports that CNN wanted him gone so badly that it gave him an $8 million severance package. Dobbs 'had a year and a half to go on his $12 million contract.'"

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Cat-Women of the Moon

     Cat-Women of the Moon (1953) [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 ] Full Length [ 2 ] trailer


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I'm Torn...

Although I find Ms. Prejean annoying, I am torn by these pictures... She is holding a package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!

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Saturday, November 14, 2009

Tensions Ease Between the United States and the Council of Giant Monsters

President Barack Obama and the Council of Giant Monsters have agreed to renew the strained alliance between the United States and Japan at a press conference held at Suntory Hall in Tokyo, Japan on Friday.


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I'm F*#king Matt Damon by Sarah Silverman


I can't believe that I had never heard of this...

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Am Very Disapointed With the Stupak Amendment


Although I was very happy that Speaker Pelosi was able to pass the Health Reform Legislation, I am very disapointed with the Stupak amendment. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

I am against abortion. I don't really think that anybody is actually for abortion, not really. It's like saying that you don't like babies, and nobody really says that. (With the possible exception of W. C. Fields.)

I also feel that any woman that makes the decision to have an abortion should be allowed to do so without interference from any outside person or agency. A decision of this nature is difficult enough for any woman to make, and nobody should be able to inject their own opinion into that woman's life. It's her own decision to make.

Women have abortions for a variety of reasons, and there is much debate about the validity of those reasons. I feel that the main reason to be against legislation that restricts a woman's right to choose is not because you agree or disagree with any of those reasons.

I feel that the main reason to be against legislation that restricts a woman's right to choose is because when women are faced with the brick wall of not being able to have an abortion done professionally, women in desperate situations will be forced to resort to desperate means to get an abortion, often with horrifying and gruesome results.

Also, if we create a situation where women unable to get an abortion done professionally at her choosing, we create a situation where women are treated as second class citizens. This happens in a variety of ways depending on a series of different circumstances, but the results are the same. A situation that creates inequality between the sexes cannot and should not be tolerated.

The only way to stop abortions is to stop unwanted pregnancies, and the only way to stop unwanted pregnancies is through education and birth control. It's as simple as that. Zero tolerance of abortions and "abstinence only education" just doesn't work.

Of the estimated 46 million abortions that are performed worldwide every year, 26 million are said to occur in places where abortion is legal and the other 20 million happen where the procedure is illegal. Abortion will take place no matter what. As a matter of fact, a significant portion of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (or "spontaneous abortion") without any form of human intervention. Abortions will simply happen, natural or otherwise.

To say that you are "pro-abortion" is kind of like saying you are "pro-alcoholism". I don't really think that anybody is actually for alcoholism, not really. It's like saying that you are for the enslavement of a significant portion of mankind's population to an addictive drug, and nobody really says that. (With the possible exception of W. C. Fields.)

In the United States between 1919 to 1933 the sale, manufacture, and transportation of alcohol for consumption were banned nationally by the Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution.

Despite the lofty aspirations of the temperance movement and the Eighteenth Amendment, this had the effect of creating more social ills than it prevented. Racketeering and organized crime found a huge new market through bootlegging, and caused corruption of all levels of law enforcement agencies. Many people died or became blind during the 1920s after drinking spirits made inexpensively using cheap grain alcohols.

Hard liquor became more popular because it was easier to transport and hide from the authorities. Strangely enough, the taste for alcohol became more widespread among America's youth and drinking became more socially acceptable than it had been prior to 1920. The temperance movement was also adopted to promote the unrelated agendas of various small-minded and petty organizations, including the Ku Klux Klan.

It would be fair to say that my comparison of the effects of the Eighteenth Amendment and Roe v. Wade does not take into account many of the important factors of either of these two sets of circumstances, but I do believe that in making a comparison of both cases it can be shown that historically zero tolerance has had the effect of creating more social ills than were prevented in either situation.


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Mary Tyler Moore Singing and Dancing On the Dick Van Dyke Show

No time for blogging today! I'm busy perfecting my top secret Scozzafava Ray. With one blast, a Republican candidate is rendered too moderate for his Tea Party constiuents to vote for! (I have already run a successful test on Senator Lindsey Graham [ 1, 2, 3 ] of South Carolina.) In the meantime you can watch these swell videos of Mary Tyler Moore singing and dancing on the Dick Van Dyke Show [ 2 ] (Oh, Laura Petrie, why do you vex me so?)

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Stages of Involvement


As the human mating ritual seems to only involve chocolate milkshakes during the casual dating phase, I am inclined to say that this is the only truly civilized part of this particular Homo sapien custom.

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It's FranIAm's Birthday!


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Monday, November 09, 2009

The Americans United for Separation of Church and State Annual Blogger Meet-Up

After much deliberation, I officially joined Americans United for Separation of Church and State this year. (In an enlightened attempt to eschew excess verbiage, they often call the organization 'Americans United' or 'AU' for short).

As a theological world leader from the future I must say that I had my qualms about joining such an organization, but after careful consideration I have decided that the separation of church and state is indeed a very important consideration in modern American politics.

My initial qualms about the organization were alleviated after I received my first issue of their awesome magazine, Church & State. (As much as I enjoy the saucy and provocative fold-out centerfold section, I mostly enjoy this fine periodical for the interesting and thoughtful articles. Really.)

This is not one of those stuffy magazines that you might find at the dentist's office sandwiched between old issues of Reader's Digest and Sports Illustrated. This magazine can be quite racy! One of the magazines recent articles, "Behind The Green Door: Sex, Sects and the Secrecy On Capitol Hill", was about the halfway house at at 133 C St. for Republican politicians who are having extramarital affairs. Ooo-La-La!

One might instantly assume that Americans United for Separation of Church and State is one of those annoying anti-religion "Amazing" Randi/PSICOP organizations, but that is not what they are about at all. They are a nonpartisan organization dedicated to "preserving the constitutional principle of church-state separation as the only way to ensure religious freedom for all Americans," and have been doing so since 1947.

After seeing the harm that has been done to this country by the Bush administration over the last eight years, one would hope that Barack Obama would put an end to the many errors of the last president.

Although we can hope that President Obama will do things like appoint federal judges who support church and state separation and support public policy based on science, he has thus far failed to fulfill some of his campaign promises - including ending government-funded religious discrimination and putting an end to "faith-based" initiatives. "Faith-based" initiatives are merely a euphemism for taxpayer-supported religion.

Americans United for Separation of Church and State is one of the few organizations that will hold the present administration to task on these matters.

A new political era has begun and we can all hope for real change, but we need organizations like Americans United for Separation of Church and State to lead the way. As Thomas Jefferson said, "I am for freedom of religion, and against all maneuvers to bring about a legal ascendancy of one sect over another."

And it is for these reasons (and the fact that they fed me chocolate cake) that I joined the AU for the princley sum of $97.52 (I love to contribute in silly amounts so as to confuse the accountants), and I would like you to join as well.

You can give any amount you wish of course, but membership begins at $25 a year, and entitles you to receive 11 issues of their periodical Church & State magazine which includes the interesting and thoughtful articles, a saucy and provocative fold-out centerfold section, and other information on local and national church-state issues. (I am currently trying to get then to include a crossword puzzle and a secret decoder ring, but I have not heard back from the publisher as of yet.)

Your total annual contribution, which is tax-deductible beyond the $18 annual subscription fee (and the value of any premium gifts received), will provide AU with the critical resources we need to continue the struggle to protect our constitutionally-guaranteed freedom.

By contributing, you will also help support the Americans United for Separation of Church and State Annual Blogger Meet-Up, of which I was honored to be invited to! If you contribute for no other reason, please contribute because it furthers my ability to eat chocolate cake. You can sleep soundly in the knowledge that you are furthering an important part of my dessert-laden lifestyle.

Here are pictures of some of my fellow bloggers that I was lucky enough to meet. Say hello to BAC of Yikes! who organized this year's awesome Americans United for Separation of Church and State Annual Blogger Meet-Up. (Last year's pictures are here.) Seated to her left is FranIAm of There Will Be Bread and to her right is Ed Brayton of Dispatches from the Culture Wars.

Seated from left to right, Heliotrope77 of No Blood For Hubris is all but completely obscuring the head of Lambert of Corrente, then Vastleft of Corrente, Alicia Morgan of Last Left Turn Before Hooterville, Gen. JC Christian of Jesus' General, and Farnsworth68 of One Pissed Off Veteran. (I am afraid that I didn't get pictures of everybody.)

Seated from left to right, Sue J of Nailing Jello to the Wall and Alicia Morgan Last Left Turn Before Hooterville. I used to joking call Lisa Golden [ 1, 2, 3, 4 5, 6, 7 ] a schizophrenic for having so many different blogs, but I think that Alicia Morgan's impressive blog list [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ] has her beat. (And that's not counting Second Life!)

Alicia Morgan of Last Left Turn Before Hooterville showed me all about Second Life on her socialist Mac laptop. She is a very accomplished musician and plays music there and has quite a following. It was very interesting! Alicia said that it would not be difficult to make a 3D Dr. Zaius, and I may take her up on her kind offer. I just hope that I don't get sucked into a nightmarish video game world like that guy in Tron!

FranIAm of There Will Be Bread was teaching me human "gang" signs. I think that this is supposed to mean "look both way when you cross the street."

Sue J of Nailing Jello to the Wall show the gang sign for how many pieces of chocolate cake I am supposed to get.

This is a picture of Farnsworth68 of One Pissed Off Veteran and Gen. JC Christian of Jesus' General.

This is the only picture that I have of myself at the event, seated next to the awesome Sue J of Nailing Jello to the Wall.

Rev. Barry Lynn gave a great speech about the importance of staying vigilant regarding the separation of church and state under the current administration, as well as where all of the really important celebrities go to buy second-hand clothes. (A handy fashion tip!)

I think that BAC of Yikes! did the awesome artwork for this great award.

A wonderful time was had by all! Afterwords, we were served these tiny little dessert cakes that I was forced to eat in great quantity. I would like to personally thank BAC of Yikes! for stealing the delicious desserts from the other side of the table as well, as I might have otherwise wasted away from malnutrition!

This year we stayed at the Liason Hotel...Ooo-La-La!

Here is the wonderful room that I stayed in! I would like to give a special thank you to FranIAm, who once again reminded me that the little soaps were not candy.

The Liason Hotel is located right next door to the headquarters of the local sports team. (Football or baseball, I think.) Go, Teamsters!

You can see the capitol of Pelosiland from the hotel!

I walked over in the morning to see the capitol, but I am afraid that I missed the Tea Party [ 2 ] that happened at the capitol later because I went on an afternoon bus tour.

Inside the Capitol's Visitor Center they had a huge statue of Nancy Pelosi dressed up for Christmas. It was very festive!

They also had a statue of President Obama that depicted him from the old days when he was still the king of the foreign country of Hawaii.

Pelosiland is full of celebrities. In the lobby of the Liason Hotel we ran into Representative Kucinich and his wife! (At least I think it was his wife.) This link is for Sue J of Nailing Jello to the Wall because she was gracious enough to pretend to find my story of the Kucinich Zombies interesting.

A quick note about the city: Don't be fooled. The fleet of taxis run by the Yellow Cab Company are in fact orange.

This is the painting on the wall right outside my room. It is a picture of a politician escorting a young lady into the Caucus Room. (A den of inequity, no doubt.)

The television in my hotel was enormous! I watched the documentary film, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", before I had breakfast with BAC of Yikes!

BAC of Yikes! and I were served brain bread to go with our breakfast. It was doughy and delightful! And not nearly as chewy as real brains. We all had a wonderful time!

We all missed Blue Gal, Distributorcap, Lisa Golden, and Tengrain who were all unable to make it this year. Also, I was disapointed that Oliver Willis didn't come. Oh, well. There's always next year!

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