Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Light reading for the disenfranchised

Can't find all of those pesky recipes? Need to organize your Star Wars bubblegum card collection? Sometimes there is just so much stuff you become overwhelmed. (Heck, I can't even find matching socks in the morning!) But just when you thought that you head was going to explode, Mother Jones has compiled a comprehensive timeline of all of the lies told about the Iraq war, putting them in all into an internet/Flash equivalant of a 3x5 card index file so you can relive every rich, creamy bite of these falsehoods in the comfort of your own home. What will they think of next? Thanks, Mother Jones!

"We are very concerned by the fact that people are exposing illegal acts
by the government to the general public!"

Lie by Lie: Chronicle of a War Foretold: August 1990 to March 2003
Lie by Lie: Chronicle of a War Foretold: August 1990 to March 2003

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On the terrorist watchlist: Alex Reiger and Latka Gravas!

Laura Bush hails Burns' record
By The Associated Press

BELGRADE - First lady Laura Bush campaigned for U.S. Sen. Conrad Burns here Wednesday, calling the Republican a strong advocate for Montana farmers and families.
Burns talked about the war on terrorism, saying a "faceless enemy" of terrorists "drive taxi cabs in the daytime and kill at night."

He also touched on Bush administration tax breaks, saying Republicans need to be elected to make sure the president has the support he needs to get legislation through Congress.
America's faceless enemies

Burns fighting own tongue
August 23, 2006
Burns himself acknowledges that he has an uncanny knack for putting his foot in his mouth. "I can self-destruct in one sentence," he told reporters a few months ago. "Sometimes in one word." Via Crooks and Liars

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"Killing me softly with food stamps, killing me softly..."

LIMBAUGH: "I think you might then say that the obesity crisis could be the fault of government, liberal government. Food stamps, all those -- you know, I'm gonna tell you people a story. I -- just, well, the government, you could say, is killing these people because we know obesity kills, and the government's killing the poor. The Bush administration is killing the poor with too much food."

food stamps

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Cavuto goes "Geico Celebrity" on Katrina's ass

Once again displaying the depth and gravitas that is the hallmark of Fox News, Neil Cavuto chose Don King as one of his guest experts on Katrina and it's aftermath. The choice of Cavuto's guests in this grisly display of celebrity Katrina-disaster carnage is clearly in response to the recent success of the "Geico Celebrity" ads. Obviously Don King's expertise in cosmetological disasters can applied to meterological disasters as well.

A significant degree of Republican fawning was exhibited by Mr. King. During the interview, King stated, "George Walker Bush is one of the best presidents that we have ever had in the history of this country." When Cavuto asked the hard-hitting question about the fact that 90% of blacks didn't vote for bush in the last election, Don King states clearly that blacks don't vote for Bush because "they don't know any better." He indicated that american blacks have been "indoctrinated" and "totally bamboozled."

King cryptically stated, "But let me tell you this. Even the Democrats that are castigating, vilifying, and character-assassinating him are so happy when they go to bed to know that they have a man in the White House that says what he means and means what he says, and resolves the protection of this nation." I can say with certainty that the effect that Bush "saying what he means and meaning what he says" has had exactly opposite effect on my sleeping habits.

As one would guess, Mr. Cavuto recieved some mail regarding this segment. Upon reflection, I would have to agree with one of the authors. The sober insight of celebrities such as Pee Wee Herman would have been a welcome addition to this segment.

Well-known Pee Wee Herman defense: 'I know you are, but what am I?'

Passing Coments
Cheap shot–PeeWee would have had something interesting to say.
"If you like the cleanup so much, Mr. Bush, why don’t you marry it??!!?"


In 1966, Don King was convicted of stomping to death an employee who owed him $600. Fox News murderer/analyst, Don King.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha *takes time to breathe* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Neil Cavuto Calls in the "Experts" on Katrina
Don King on why blacks should vote Republican
Neil Cavuto Gets Letters
An Anniversary With Strong Images, Sorrow, Self-Congratulation and Blame
Geico's offbeat 'celebrity' ads create buzz
Little Richard for Geico
Charo for Geico

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Let us be thankful we have commerce.

The Falling Paycheck
August 29, 2006

After huddling with his economic team at Camp David this month, President Bush emerged from a meeting and, flanked by advisers — including the secretaries of labor, commerce and the Treasury — announced to reporters, “Things are good for American workers.”

The comment is preposterous. As The Times’s Steven Greenhouse and David Leonhardt reported yesterday, the economic expansion that began in late 2001 is on track to become the first since World War II that fails to offer a sustained lift to the real wages of most American workers. Although the nation’s economy has grown and productivity has been strong, American employees have not shared in the wealth they’ve helped to create. Wages and salaries now make up the lowest proportion of the economy since the government began keeping records in 1947, while corporate profits have climbed to their highest share since the 1960’s.

Until recently, the decline in real wages has been masked in large part by the housing boom that allowed many Americans to borrow and spend, even as their pay was squeezed. But now the housing market is flagging and with it, the Bush-era economy — without American workers having ever experienced a period of solid prosperity.

Unfortunately, there’s little likelihood of meaningful improvement anytime soon. When Mr. Bush and his advisers are not insisting that everything is fine, they’re promising more high-end tax cuts as a cure-all, or painting the problem as one of impersonal market forces for which there are no government solutions.

Those are not the paths out of the predicament. Just the opposite, they are approaches that have contributed to it. New York Times

THX 1138You are a true believer.
Blessings of the state.
Blessings of the masses.
Thou art a subject of the divine.
Created in the image of man, by masses, for masses.
Let us be thankful we have commerce.
Buy more.
Buy more now.
Buy more and be happy.

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Katrina 2006 - Let the distancing begin.

Bush: 'We are fully prepared.'

Jack Cafferty: "Katrina may be Viewed as the Defining Moment of the Bush Presidency"

"I find it absolutely amazing John that any politician who had anything to do with Katrina had nerve enough to walk into the city of New Orleans Today." Video at Crooks and Liars

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Take a walk with me down memory lane...

President wants Senate to hurry with new anti-terrorism laws
July 30, 1996

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Clinton urged Congress Tuesday to act swiftly in developing anti-terrorism legislation before its August recess.

"We need to keep this country together right now. We need to focus on this terrorism issue," Clinton said during a White House news conference.

But while the president pushed for quick legislation, Republican lawmakers hardened their stance against some of the proposed anti-terrorism measures.President wants Senate to hurry with new anti-terrorism laws

Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R-Mississippi, doubted that the Senate would rush to action before they recess this weekend. The Senate needs to study all the options, he said, and trying to get it done in the next three days would be tough.

One key GOP senator was more critical, calling a proposed study of chemical markers in explosives "a phony issue."

Taggants value disputed

Clinton said he knew there was Republican opposition to his proposal on explosive taggants, but it should not be allowed to block the provisions on which both parties agree.

"What I urge them to do is to be explicit about their disagreement, but don't let it overcome the areas of agreement," he said.

The president emphasized coming to terms on specific areas of disagreement would help move the legislation along. The president stressed it's important to get the legislation out before the weekend's recess, especially following the bombing of Centennial Olympic Park and the crash of TWA Flight 800.

"The most important thing right now is that they get the best, strongest bill they can out -- that they give us as much help as they can," he said.

Hatch blasts 'phony' issues

Republican leaders earlier met with White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta for about an hour in response to the president's call for "the very best ideas" for fighting terrorism.

Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, emerged from the meeting and said, "These are very controversial provisions that the White House wants. Some they're not going to get."

Hatch called Clinton's proposed study of taggants -- chemical markers in explosives that could help track terrorists -- "a phony issue."

"If they want to, they can study the thing" already, Hatch asserted. He also said he had some problems with the president's proposals to expand wiretapping.

Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, D-South Dakota, said it is a mistake if Congress leaves town without addressing anti-terrorism legislation. Daschle is expected to hold a special meeting on the matter Wednesday with Congressional leaders.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Anti-terrorism bill gutted in House
March 13, 1996
Jeanne Meserve

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The first anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing is next month, and Congress has yet to enact anti-terrorism legislation urgently proposed by the president. The House Wednesday voted to amend the bill to take out some of the it's toughest and most controversial provisions.

The House of Representatives ripped the guts out of pending anti-terrorism legislation with a single vote Wednesday. Passing 246-171, the amendment deletes provisions which would:

  • Allow the government to label certain groups as "terrorist."

  • Streamline the deportation of terrorists.

  • Allow the use of wiretap evidence obtained without a warrant.

  • Permit disclosure of certain consumer reports to the FBI.

"We have just eviscerated the heart and soul of the anti-terrorist bill," Rep. John Conyers, D Michigan, said from the House floor.

The amendment was backed by an unusual alliance of groups on the right and left who felt the original bill gave the federal government too much power.

"What price are we willing to pay in terms of our individual rights and freedoms? What price are we willing to pay as citizens of this country?" Rep. Melvin Watt, D-North Carolina, said from the floor.

Adoption of the amendment could hardly have come at a more embarrassing time for President Clinton, who was co-hosting an international anti-terrorism summit in Egypt Wednesday.

Attorney General Janet Reno criticized the changes to the bill. "Congress' action keeps too many Americans vulnerable to terrorists and madmen by stripping away provisions that might have helped save law enforcement from killer bullets and help trace explosives."

The anti-terrorism legislation was introduced at the president's urging in the aftermath of the April 19 Oklahoma City bombing, which killed 168 men, women, and children.

But some anti-terrorism experts said that before the legislation was amended, it wouldn't have done much to combat terrorism.

"It is, at best, a Christmas tree. A Christmas tree is designed to do what? It was designed to reassure the American public that the government is doing something," said terrorism expert Larry Johnson.

Last June, the Senate passed anti-terrorism legislation that included many of the provisions deleted by the House. The White House will be lobbying to have those measures re-inserted when congressional conferences produce a final version of the legislation.

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Ku Klux Klan Jammies for Kids

Armor Of God PJ’s

Armor Of God PJ’s

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Friday, August 25, 2006

Coulter: "Osama as irrelevant as Mel Gibson!"

Swimming to AfghanistanIn an exchange between Ann Coulter and Kirsten Powers on Fox News' Hannity & Colmes program, Coulter states that Osama Bin Laden is as washed up as Mel Gibson. Specifically she states:

Coulter: But as for catching Osama, um, it's irrelevant. Things are going swimmingly in Afghanistan. I mean - it's - he's like a fading movie star now.

Powers: Things in Afghanistan are going horribly but this is interesting, Osama Bin Laden is irrelevant! The person that was the mastermind behind the Al Quida attacks is completely irrelevant. Is that what you are saying?

Coulter: it was handed to Bill Clinton twice.

Powers: Oh, it's Bill Clinton's fault!

Coulter: No - No, it's irrelevant!
After A Few Tough Questions, Ann Coulter Walks Off Hannity & Colmes
News Hounds: "Powers confronted Coulter on those accusations, starting with questions about why the Bush Administration hasn’t caught Osama bin Laden. Coulter was obviously flummoxed and gave the ridiculous answer that the war in Afghanistan is going so swimmingly that bin Laden has become irrelevant."

Faced With Reality, Coulter Walks "When conservative hate mistress Ann Coulter told two Democratic strategists on Fox News that Afghanistan was 'going swimmingly,' they went to town on her, and Coulter cut her interview short."

Ann Coulter gets her freak on
Crooks and Liars: Kirsten Powers actually responds to Coulter’s ridiculous line that Afghanistan is going swimmingly and brings up the fact that Osama is still alive and well. Coulter then plays her usual Clinton card and freaks. "Sean, help me–Sean, where are you?"

Coulter: Bin Laden Is ‘Irrelevant,’ ‘Things Are Going Swimmingly In Afghanistan’
Think Progress: "Coulter responded, 'As for catching Osama, it's irrelevant. Things are going swimmingly in Afghanistan.' Powers blasted Coulter for her answer. Coulter then abruptly decided to end her participation in the middle of the segment, saying, 'OK, well, good night! It was nice being here.'"

But the winner is the people who run the children's area of the San Francisco Zoo. They have named this American Cream draft horse 'Coulter.' This assumes some kind of resemblance between the horse and Coultergeist -- Ann Coulter. Look, it is a bloody time in American politics, no holds barred. But this crosses the line, to abuse Coulter this way. This is slander and it is godless, and, yes, maybe it even is treason. How dare you people insult -- that poor horse? The management of the children's area at the San Francisco Zoo, today's 'Worst Persons in the World.'

Keith Olbermann: "But the winner is the people who run the children's area of the San Francisco Zoo. They have named this American Cream draft horse 'Coulter.' This assumes some kind of resemblance between the horse and Coultergeist -- Ann Coulter. Look, it is a bloody time in American politics, no holds barred. But this crosses the line, to abuse Coulter this way. This is slander and it is godless, and, yes, maybe it even is treason. How dare you people insult -- that poor horse? The management of the children's area at the San Francisco Zoo, today's 'Worst Persons in the World.'" Media Mattters
Ann Coulter - Man About Town
Children's Zoo Horsey Wants Liberal Media Traitors Executed by Firing Squad?
Mystery Solved: Horse at SF Zoo Not Named After Ann Coulter
Mailander: "Glenn Close, Ann Coulter, there's almost no difference"
Fox News Gives Ann Coulter a Weekly Segment on its "Business News" Program
Hot Talk with Melanie Morgan
(Most GOP not man enough to carry the load like her and Coulter)
Wonkette: Commie Libs Finally Go Too Far
Coulter: "liberalism stands for 'sucking the brains out of little babies'"

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Nero's reading list (something to do while Rome burns)

President Bush's Summer Reading List - Provided by the White House Press OfficeBush's Summer Reading List -
Provided by the
White House Press Office

From this list one can only assume that the president is a very literate man. It is interesting to note that he chose to read the classics Macbeth and Hamlet so late in life, and in the same summer as all of the other books listed. Neither of these are books that you would really want to read quickly, or when one is busy with the pressing details and distracting issues of the presidential office. How could the president do these works justice under these conditions?
Shakespeare Comics

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My apocalypse is better than your apocalypse!

Remember boys and girls,

*** Muslim extremist = bad, Christian extremist = good ***

They believe WHAT?According to the The Rapture Index, the "prophetic speedometer of end-time activity," the end is apparently near. Billed as a "Dow Jones industrial average of end-time activity," this popular evangelical Christian indicator coincides with a recent prediction from Bernard Lewis, a specialist in Middle-Eastern culture and politics. Lewis states that that August 22 of this year was the ideal day for Iran to nuke Israel. The Apocalypse was in fact milder than expected this year.

I present two songs that will hopefully prepare you for what these groups are calling the imminent and inevitable end to all of those that don't agree with them.

We Will All Go Together When We Go
Tom_Lehrer:"[...] In addition to writing he indulged in a good deal of philosophising. Like so many contemporary philosophers he especially enjoyed giving helpful advice to people who were happier than he was. One particular bit of advice which I recall, which is the reason I bring up this whole, dreary story, is something he said once before they took him away to the Massachussetts state home for the bewildered. He said: 'Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.' It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha, and so with this in mind I have here a modern, positive, dynamic, uplifting song in the tradition of the great old revival hymns. This one might more accurately be termed a survival hymn."

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or'l
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.

We will all go together when we go.
All suffused with an incandescent glow.
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance,
Lloyd's of London will be loaded when they go.

Oh we will all fry together when we fry.
We'll be French fried potatoes by and by.
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie,
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.

Down by the old maelstrom,
There'll be a storm before the calm.

And we will all bake together when we bake.
There'll be nobody present at the wake.
With complete participation
In that grand incineration,
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Oh we will all char together when we char.
And let there be no moaning of the bar.
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.,*
And the party will be come-as-you-are.

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn.
There'll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it's time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We'll just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas.
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollahs.

And we will all go together when we go.
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
When the air becomes uranious,
We will all go simultaneous.
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go.

Twas Night of the Rapture

Twas the night of the Rapture and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
Thinking that Jesus would not soon be there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby in lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Up in the sky I saw Jesus was here!
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray,
I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY!

The light of His face made me cover my head,
It was Jesus returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life, which He held in His hand,
The names of every saved woman and man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "you're not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names He had written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With them he rose straight up from the ground,
Leaving the lost just standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I'd been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing so near.
There's only one chance and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

Other Antics perfomed in God's Name
the He-Man-women-haters club for God

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The quality of mercenaries is not strained

Shadow Company, by Nick Bicanic and Jason Bourque, is the groundbreaking feature-length documentary that reveals the origins and destinations of these modern-day mercenaries.
Shadow Company

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A mighty wind

Wake up and smell the democracy, bitch.Animal House in the West Wing
"He loves to cuss, gets a jolly when a mountain biker wipes out trying to keep up with him, and now we're learning that the first frat boy loves flatulence jokes. A top insider let that slip when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides, but forget about getting people to gas about that."
August 28, 2006 print edition of U.S. News & World Report

"This gives new meaning to 'cutting and running.'" via OhioMoose

From Salon two years ago:
"New Yorker writer Brendan Gill recalls roaming the Kennebunkport compound one night while staying there looking for a book to read -- the only title he could find was 'The Fart Book.'" (Via ditchdigger)

Wake up and smell the democracy
Capitol Hill Blue: The Prez likes to fart
"In fart domination, an individual acting in a dominant role farts into the face of a person acting in a submissive role."
Are Farts Still Funny?
In poor taste, even for this post Via GSD
Flatulence and carpopedal spasm: more than social embarrassment
Flatulence Anecdotes
farting fish

Bringing honor and dignity back to the White House, one fart at a time.

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Any Excuse to Use a Violent Kitty Picture

Firefighters shot at for not helping cat

Firefighters shot at for not helping cat

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Osama and Whitney, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Osama and Whitney, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

the Daily Mail: "Terror mastermind Osama bin Laden is so obsessed with singer Whitney Houston he thought about killing her husband, Bobby Brown, it was claimed last night.

The suggestion is made by Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who claims she was bin Laden's sex slave for four months 10 years ago.

In her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, she writes: 'He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.'"

Senator George Allen (R-VA) is quoted as saying that his party has blown a collectively sigh of relief now that Osama appears to have little interest in the white women.Senator George Allen (R-VA) is quoted as saying that his party has blown a collectively sigh of relief now that Osama appears to have little interest in the white women.

Osama 'wanted to marry Whitney'
Obsessed Bin Laden wanted to kill Whitney Houston's husband
Osama bin Laden Has Huge Crush On Whitney Houston

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Gel Bras: Giving Aid and Comfort to the Enemy

Tits and Terrorism

ABC News: Authorities Warning Women Not to Wear Gel Bras
As Worries of Possible Female Bombers Increase

"U.S. authorities are advising women not to wear gel bras on airplanes as information developed in the foiled London plot points to an expanding role for women in smuggling explosives on to an aircraft." ABC News

Take away women's gel bras? Damn you, Bin Laden!

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras," replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, the Baptist type, and the Gel Type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills, and the gel type makes Republicans see hallucinations of Osama Bin Laden."


Lifting and Seperating
Tits and Terrorism
Gel Bras Prohibited, Then Permitted Aboard Flights
Gel-filled bras OK, but lip gel banned from baggage
Why women wear bras
Must sex be sinful? Biology says yes
A brief history of the breast

Update: They hate us for our gel bra technology!

This is not the first time that terrorists have attacked the Western World for our gel bra technology! In a case Islamo-Fascist espianage Michelle Mone, inventor of the gel-filled bra was attacked and valuable gel bra technology was stolen from the west. "The prototypes are the heart of my new range and I desperately need them back," Mone said.

Her attacker was described as white, slim, about 5ft 6in tall, and with an Islamo-Fascist expression on his face. Ms. Mone and Bill O'Reilly (Host of "The O'Reilly Factor") have offered a financial reward for the return of the underwear.

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Breaking News: JonBenet Suspect Breakfast Menu!

Fox News Exclusive: 'JonBenet Suspect Awarded Medal of Freedom by Grateful President'

Fox News Exclusive: "JonBenet Suspect Awarded
Medal of Freedom by Grateful President"

In a surprise move by the President, JonBenet Suspect John Mark Karr was Awarded the Medal of Freedom in a quiet ceremony at the White House this morning. During the ceremony, President Bush was quoted as saying: "Thanks for taking the heat off of me and my administration, young man. You let me know if Homeland Security or I can do any thing else for you." When questioned about the abruptness of this unscheduled award ceremony, Bush stated that Karr had done a great service for the United States, and that the president was very grateful for the "much needed respite from the media" caused by Karr.

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Saturday, August 19, 2006

Bad Reporter

Bad Reporter by Don Asmussen
Bad Reporter by Don Asmussen

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Lieberman, Party of One

Apparently, according to Rabbi Marc Gellman, Joe Lieberman is Jewish! Who knew? (Does that mean he killed the Easter Bunny?) Whereas Rabbi Marc Gellman states that Joe Lieberman was crucifed by his own people in the recent Democratic primary in Connecticut, Rush Limbaugh had a different theory, that Joe was defeated by Anti-Semitism. (One can only wonder how Mel Gibson would weigh in on this conversation.) Rush Limbaugh says that Jews are just "schmaltzy ethnic guy[s]," you know, the "huge hook nose and so forth." But not all Jews are bad, according to Limbaugh. He states that some Jews are good, namely the Republican Jews. (You know, the "Neocons.")

Limbaugh: 'One of the factors in his defeat was the fact that he’s just Jewish.'

(Via atrios.)

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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Purple Index Finger of Fate


It's official, Diebold to decide the results of all future elections in the United States.

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Hip new word for 'Mohawk' hairstyle

Senator George Allen (R-VA) is being lauded for coining a new word, "Macaca," for the Mohawk hairstyle when he called out to University of Virginia student S.R. Sidarth.

Gaffe makes fair game of Allen's racial attitudes - Virginian Pilot, VA

(I am not sure what is wrong with kids today, but when I was young spud the kids wore their mohawks a lot shorter on the sides.)

[ 1, 2, 3, 4 ]

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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Poo poo on you, Albert Camus

Of course, it was the Cliff Notes version.Much is being ballyhooed about President Bush reading "The Stranger" by Albert Camus, but I don't think anybody has pointed out the obvious connection regarding this. The Stranger" is a story about a man who got in trouble for killing an Arab, and didn't really care one way or the other about the Arab or anything else in his life.

It sounds like the perfect book for the President to be reading on his vacation.

Albert Camus won the Nobel Prize for his novel The Stranger, which says, in effect, that life is meaningless. But that novel's dust jacket carried a paragraph reporting that Camus died in a car wreck in 1960. It should have added, "Not that it matters."
Dexter Madison

Here is a related poem by Robert Smith (of The Cure) - "Killing an Arab"
Standing on the beach with a gun in my hand
Staring at the sky, staring at the sand
Staring down the barrel at the arab on the ground
See his open mouth, but I hear no sound

I can turn and walk away
Or I can fire the gun
Staring at the sky, staring at the sun
Whichever I choose tt amounts to the same
Absolutely nothing

I feel the silver jump, smooth in my hand
Staring at the sea, staring at the sand
Staring at myself, reflected in the eyes
Of the dead man on the beach
The dead man on the beach

I'm alive
I'm dead
I'm the stranger
Killing an arab

An Inside Look: Albert Camus
Poo poo on you, Albert Camus

Bush, Camus, and ‘The Stranger’ [ 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ]

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

"What phony dog poo?"

What phony dog poo?
Cedric: "You dropped your phony dog poo."
Underground contact: "What phony dog poo?"
Top Secret! (1984)

Little did I know that the all of the casualties in Lebanon were all being staged! According to an investigation of chat rooms, newsgroups, and message boards performed by the ever reliable journalistic team of and, information has come to light that shows the Really, Really, Real Truth behind the casualties in Lebanon - they don't exist! They even have pictures to prove that it is all done with actors and ketchup...

Casualties in Lebanon: it is all done with actors and ketchup...

The blazing, irrefutable truth of a message board can tell no lies, according to this valuable bit of in depth journalism by this dynamic duo of truthiness, and

Here are the facts, as presented by the message board:

"i have been working in lebanon since all this started, and seeing the behavior of many of the lebanese wire service photographers has been a bit unsettling. while hajj has garnered a lot of attention for his doctoring of images digitally, whether guilty or not, i have been witness to the daily practice of directed shots, one case where a group of wire photogs were coreographing the unearthing of bodies, directing emergency workers here and there, asking them to position bodies just so, even remove bodies that have already been put in graves so that they can photograph them in peoples arms. these photographers have come away with powerful shots, that required no manipulation digitally, but instead, manipulation on a human level, and this itself is a bigger ethical problem."
As evidence of the authors veracity, cites the fact that "Bryan Denton’s work has appeared in The New York Times," a newspaper that does not trust. Obviously these remarks make it clear that Isreal has not fired a single shot into Lebanon. This simple diagram shows all facts in scathing detail:

Although not reported yet by the MSM, the Lebanese are faking all of the damage done to their cities as well. With the use of green screen technology over at that left-wing-liberal-terrorist-loving George Lucas' studios [ 1, 2, 3 ]. Those Hollywood Elites are behind the whole thing! Look at this recent, seeminging innocent news photo:

The truth about out-of-work Hollywood actors

The Isreali army has never invaded Lebanon! The footage is all a farce created by the liberal press, using special effects, stock footage and out-of-work Hollywood actors! puts the situation into perspective: "It’s all beginning to come out in the open now."

Links to the Really, Really, Real Truth - Bodies Allegedly Exhumed For Display to Photographers Alleges Unearthing of Bodies

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Unclear on the Concept Award Winner

"It is important that Republicans show up at the polls on Election Day to support the Republican agenda that has helped improve the lives of so many of our fellow citizens."

the Missouri Republican Party's weekly newsletter, GOP Voice (August 4 Edition)

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A certain moral flexibility

Rummy's Cakewalk Turns Into A Frog March!

"I have never painted a rosy picture. I have been very measured in my words, and you’d have a dickens of a time trying to find instances where I have been excessively optimistic."
-- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, testifying at a Senate hearing.

'I have never painted a rosy picture. I have been very measured in my words, and you’d have a dickens of a time trying to find instances where I have been excessively optimistic.'

To get to Rummy-Land do you turn left at the unicorn or right at the rainbow?

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Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Invisible Pink Unicorns of Science

The funniest and most accurate observation that you can make about the science vs. religion debate is that either side already has far too many marbles in their mouth to legitimately be giving the other the raspberry.

"Baryonic dark matter" in the Wikipedia encyclopedia
     Online article, date written and author unknown

Bierce, Ambrose, "The Devil's Dictionary," 1911.

"Big Bang theory," in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English
     Language, Fourth Edition. 2000
     Online article, date written and author unknown

"Cheez Whiz," in the Wikipedia encyclopedia
     Online article, date written and author unknown

"Invisible Pink Unicorn" in the Wikipedia encyclopedia
     Online article, date written and author unknown

"The Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP)"
     Online article, date written unknown

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What does an Accountant think about the current tax system in the United States?

When asked what the specific problems with the current US tax code, Mr. Burczyk Answered, "It gets more complicated every year, and it keeps changing every year." He gave the example that what the IRS did this year is that they tightened the guidelines on earned income credit, child tax credit, and head of household requirements. This was not publicized to the general public, although all of the tax preparers were told about it, and took classes on the subject.

Customers came in without a change in their general financial situation and expected the same tax situation as last year, but were not necessarily in the same tax situation as they were last year because of this tightening of existing tax codes regarding earned income credit, child tax credit, and head of household requirements.

He felt that the tightening of these codes most drastically affected young, unwed mothers that live with their parents or are not the head of the household that they live in. He stressed that this one case described above was not caused by congress but a change in the interpretation of existing law at the IRS.

The idea of a flat tax, or proportional tax appeals to Mr. Burczyk. When asked about the subject, he answered that it "seemed like a neat idea."

The concept of a flat tax bears some explanation. There are three main types of taxes: the progressive tax, the regressive tax, and the proportional tax. a progressive tax taxes the wealthy more than the poor, a regressive tax taxes the poor more than the wealthy, and a proportional tax uses the same percentage across the board regardless of income.

Many of the taxes you pay today are flat taxes. When you get a drivers license or library card, you pay the same as everybody else. Sales tax is a flat tax.

There have been several proposals from both sides of the aisle in congress for a flat tax as applied to federal income tax. Almost every year in congress bills are introduced that directly relate to the concept of a flat tax. Steve Forbes ran for president in 1996 on a platform of a 17% flat tax.

In talking about the flat tax it is important to note that there is difference between the flat tax in theory and in the real world. When assessing the validity of any proposed flat tax one must think about the context within which it is being applied as well as how the author is defining the term "flat tax." With a flat tax, all taxpayers would pay the same rate. According to Fred Burczyk, Paperwork would largely be eliminated as taxes could be filled out on a single sheet of paper, or even a 3x5 card, but that there would be a huge public outcry if the government don't have deductions for contributions, mortgages interest, real estate taxes, state taxes, etc.

Mr. Burczyk stated that once you let in anything like deductions for real estate then it is not a flat tax anymore. He also expressed that any kind flat tax would lower taxes for the wealthiest and raise taxes for the poorest, unless you lowered all taxes to the lowest level, and then there would be no revenue. He provided the example of students that have to pay interest on their tuition getting a tax credit. If that were removed, students would lose that incentive. But if you left it in, then it would not be a flat tax. This would affect many areas, including charities and the disabled.

Our present tax system is largely progressive, which means that how much you pay in taxes is based on how much you earn. If the United States were to adopt a proportional tax system, the tax rates for those with lower and higher incomes would have to change to generate the same income.

For example, the average federal tax rate for the bottom 50% of taxpayers in 2003 was 2.95%, while the average federal tax rate for the top 50% of taxpayers was 13.35%. The tax rate for the top 50% would go down, and the average federal tax rate for the bottom 50% of taxpayers would go up. If the tax rate for the lower percentage of taxpayers goes up, this would give them less available income to spend.

The subject is actually far more complex than the scope of this small article, but there are economists that say as a nation, we are already paying a flat tax. According to an article in the New York Times, the different effects of payroll, state and local taxes the tax burden is probably the same or higher on the poor than the rich.

An article in Slate magazine, Tax Rates Are Already Flat, digests some of the material in the New York Times and states: "the Times has provided a more precise accounting that shows that those in the bottom quintile (people earning on average $7,946) pay almost exactly the same percentage of their income in taxes as people in the top quintile (people earning on average $116,666). The bottom fifth pays 18 percent, the top fifth pays 19 percent, and the three groups in between pay between 14 percent and 17 percent—which is to say, roughly the same. Obviously there's some individual variation, but on average Americans pay approximately 17 percent of their income in taxes, no matter what income they earn."

Another Slate Article, Follow the Money, quotes a 1992 Atlantic article by Phillip Longman and Neil Howe:
"[T]he most affluent Americans actually collect slightly more from the welfare state than do the poorest Americans. ... [In 1991,] U.S. households with incomes over $100,000 received, on average, $5,690 worth of federal cash and in-kind benefits, while the corresponding figure for U.S. households with incomes under $10,000 was $5,560. Quite simply, if the federal government wanted to flatten the nation's income distribution, it would do better to mail all its checks to random addresses."

Tax Rates Are Already Flat

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