Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Ack! My Great, Great Grandfather Might Be Killed By a Girl Scout Cookie!


As all of my gentle readers already know, I am a mega-fan of Girl Scout Cookies, so imagine my horror when I found out that Girl Scout Cookies are killing my orangutan ancestors! It is all just too horrible to imagine... Stop the horror! Stop the horror at once! Girls Scouts censors Facebook page after coming under criticism Girl Scouts censor Facebook criticism of palm oil in cookies The Great Girl Scouts Insurrection Girl Scouts Bake Up Plan To Tackle Cookie Worries Youth Activism: Two Girl Scouts Create Rebellion in the Ranks Girl Scout Cookies Under Fire For Endangering Orangutans (VIDEO) Are Girl Scout Cookies Biodiversity Killers and Censorship Monsters? Former Scouts Meet With Top Girl Scout Officials to Discuss Cookies Two Girl Scouts Take on Parent Group Over Cookie Recipe

I must be brave in the face of this abhorrent situation.


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Quick! Activate Mitt Romney Emergency Sanctimonious Flip Flop Strategy Plan Delta!


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Axe Cop

No time for blogging today! I am off to Chicago (The Murder Capital of America) to help Germaine Gregarious work on her doctoral thesis. (What I don't understand is why can't her doctor work on his own thesis?) In the meantime you can watch these swell videos of the amazing Axe Cop [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 ], a tale of the trials and tribulations of a modern policeman written by a 7 year old and drawn by his slightly older brother. (Enjoy the videos! I've got to go stock up on quicklime, plastic bags, rope, and lots of extra Handi Wipes for the trip.)

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Thursday, May 05, 2011

The Secret Photo of What Happened at Bin Laden's Compound!

The First Lady dances on the gave of Osama Bin Laden... Has she no respect for the dead?
Keith Olbermann: A Special Comment: The Death of Osama bin Laden Yes Folks, Glenn Beck Went There 'Obama Bin Laden Dead': FOX News affiliate defends itself for typo Bin Laden news finds pundits forsaking usual comfort zones No House resolution honoring military's bin Laden mission Trump learns of Osama Bin Laden's Death Waterboarding Was NOT Used To Capture Bin Laden Fox wants to be sure everyone gives Bush credit for Bin Laden's death Palin Thanks Bush For Bin Laden Raid, Doesn't Mention Obama Once Sarah Palin's tribute to the military becomes a nasty attack on Obama Analysis: Bush's Lackluster Hunt For Bin Laden Joe Scarborough: Obama's Base Didn't Want Him To Catch Bin Laden 10 Cutest Cat Moments

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The Talking Sarah Palin Commemorative Freedom Statue


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Giant Science Fiction Microorganism, I Think I Love You!

No time for blogging today! As a member of the Unannounced Presidential Candidate Club, I am busy dispensing empty platitudes and broken promises to my disgruntled public. (I can say with all confidence that my worthless rhetoric is far superior to the worthless rhetoric of my unnamed opponents.) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of Belle Avery in the timeless classic "Giant science fiction microorganism, I think I love you!" (This is definitely one of the most romantic moments in television history.)

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Laurie Partridge, Why Do You Vex Me So?

Laurie Partridge's reaction to her date to the school dance (a biker named Snake) when he attacked a group of football players with the punchbowl.

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