Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Remember "a few bad apples?" More like one bad apple.

The CIA has admitted that President Bush personally authorized the torture of so called terror suspects.

Surprise! The CIA has admitted that President Bush personally authorized the torture of so called terror suspects.

C.I.A. Tells of Bush’s Directive on the Handling of Detainees
WASHINGTON, Nov. 14 — The Central Intelligence Agency has acknowledged for the first time the existence of two classified documents, including a directive signed by President Bush, that have guided the agency’s interrogation and detention of terror suspects.

The C.I.A. referred to the documents in a letter sent Friday from the agency’s associate general counsel, John L. McPherson, to lawyers for the American Civil Liberties Union.

The contents of the documents were not revealed, but one of them is "a directive signed by President Bush granting the C.I.A. the authority to set up detention facilities outside the United States and outlining interrogation methods that may be used against detainees," the A.C.L.U. said, based on its review of published accounts.

The second document, according to the group, is a Justice Department legal analysis "specifying interrogation methods that the C.I.A. may use against top Al Qaeda members." New York Times via TPM

The origin of "Test Tube Jesus"

James Cameron: 'This is a slam dunk!'

The Discovery Channel, in association with Cyrus Nowrasteh Productions have announced an upcoming documentary directed by James Cameron, the man behind the box-office hit "Titanic." The documentary will unveil the discovery of the lost tomb of Jesus.

The 2,000-year-old limestone coffins, or ossuaries, at the burial site, which was uncovered 27 years ago by Israeli construction workers, are those of Jesus, a son named Judah, and Mary Magdalene.

Homeland Security's DNA analysis of remains found at the burial site confirm that the DNA is indeed that of Jesus.

"The sample that we were presented was indeed DNA," said Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff. "So it absolutely must be true."

"The tomb is in the right country, there is writing on the tomb, and there are bodies in the tomb." Said James Cameron. "This is a slam dunk!"

The first of the ossuaries' inscriptions, written in Aramaic, reads, "Yeshua bar Yosef," or "Jesus son of Joseph." The second, in Hebrew, reads, "Maria." The third, in Hebrew, reads, "Matia," or "Matthew."

Cryptically, the fourth inscription, in Hebrew, reads, "Party On, Garth," possibly a reference to an early Public Access TV show, "...or some kids might have gotten a hold of a time machine from the future, or something." Said Cameron.

The Documentary, which will air next month, has one more surprise in store for us. The climax of the story is that 27 years ago, when the tomb was first found, DNA samples were brought to billionaire John Hammond (founder and CEO of International Genetic Technologies), who has cloned Jesus and his family members at Jurassic Park, an amusement facility that features live dinosaurs that will soon be open to the public.

The cloned Jesus, nicknamed "Test Tube Jesus," has been living at the facility for the last 27 years.

"He feels right at home here," said bible scholar and paleobotanist graduate student Ellie Sattler. "When Jesus was growing up, there were dinosaurs all around."

"That's right, it says so in the scriptures," said her colleague paleontologist and GOP stratagist Alan Grant.

For now the cloned Jesus is being kept under wraps until the airing of the documentary. Test Tube Jesus will narrate the documentary, and will later be interviewed on Larry King Live directly after the documentary ends. He is also slated to speak at the GOP convention to be held in Twin Cities, Minnesota in 2008.

Test Tube Jesus


Sunday, February 25, 2007

Analysis of a media Smear

Analysis of a media Smear

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YouTubing the Spider-Man TV series

YouTubing the Spider-Man TV series
"Boy, are my spider senses ever tingling!" The animation in the 1967 Spider-Man TV series was kind of awful, especially in the last two seasons when it was done by Ralph Bakshi. (Bakshi is the original roto-scope, roto-rooter animation director.) But the animation wasn't really that much worse than the majority of other bad animation done at the time.

And to me as a kid, Spider-Man was great show! Despite seeing the same animation recyled every few minutes ("Spider-Man climbs wall," "Spider-Man swings on web," etc.) The voices were great, and the incidental music was fantastic! The creepy bass and brassy trumpet solos set up the scenes better than the animation did. This isn't the first television program where the music was better than the show.


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YouTubing the Bugaloos

Caroline Ellis

Caroline EllisIn another installment of the "hot actresses in ridiculous outfits from television shows" department, I submit the name of the girl with smile that could melt the hearts of a thousand neo-conservative lobbyists, Caroline Ellis.

I found a link on Bubblegum Fink* to something called The Bugaloos. What I found was an incredibly devoted stalker fansite to a children's show from the early 70's that I had never heard of.

Yes, I know, I know. The show is gayer than Little Richard's underpants. (Insert mandatory Richard Gere gerbil joke here.) but what caught my eye was that it was made by Sid and Marty Krofft, with all of those great fantasy sets and outragous costumes. Also, one Bugaloo in particular caught my eye.

I was hooked once I saw Caroline Ellis shake her gossomer wings in this video. She is extra flower-power granola trippy in the "It's New To You" video, and she sounds as sweet as the Seekers when she is singing "Castles In The Air." She is almost as fetching in the role of damsel in distess as Batgirl! You can find more pictures of Caroline Ellis here and here.


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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Problem solved!

Kelly the Little Black Dog: 'China's Glorious new Environmental Program'
This is via Kelly the Little Black Dog. It seems that as a solution to the destruction of a section of forest by the mining a former quarry, local government officials in China have decided to merely spray the mountainside with bright green paint. GOP take note, there exists an environmental program almost as ridiculous as your own.

From an idea by Becca
In related news, in an interview at the Sherwin-Williams paint factory Vice-President Dick Cheney said today that a consensus is lacking on whether global warming is caused by human activity. The Vice-president's reason for being at the factory is unclear at this time. Think Progress

From an idea by Becca

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Looks like Britney Spears is not the only one getting fleeced

Maybe We Deserve to Be Ripped Off By Bush's Billionaires

On the same day that Britney was shaving her head, a guy I know who works in the office of Senator Bernie Sanders sent me an email. He was trying very hard to get news organizations interested in some research his office had done about George Bush's proposed 2008 budget, which was unveiled two weeks ago and received relatively little press, mainly because of the controversy over the Iraq war resolution. All the same, the Bush budget is an amazing document. It would be hard to imagine a document that more clearly articulates the priorities of our current political elite.

Not only does it make many of Bush's tax cuts permanent, but it envisions a complete repeal of the Estate Tax, which mainly affects only those who are in the top two-tenths of the top one percent of the richest people in this country. The proposed savings from the cuts over the next decade are about $442 billion, or just slightly less than the amount of the annual defense budget (minus Iraq war expenses). But what's interesting about these cuts are how Bush plans to pay for them.

Sanders's office came up with some interesting numbers here. If the Estate Tax were to be repealed completely, the estimated savings to just one family -- the Walton family, the heirs to the Wal-Mart fortune -- would be about $32.7 billion dollars over the next ten years.

The proposed reductions to Medicaid over the same time frame? $28 billion.

Or how about this: if the Estate Tax goes, the heirs to the Mars candy corporation -- some of the world's evilest scumbags, incidentally, routinely ripped by human rights organizations for trafficking in child labor to work cocoa farms in places like Cote D'Ivoire -- if the estate tax goes, those assholes will receive about $11.7 billion in tax breaks. That's more than three times the amount Bush wants to cut from the VA budget ($3.4 billion) over the same time period.

Some other notable estimate estate tax breaks, versus corresponding cuts:

♥ Cox family (Cox cable TV) receives $9.7 billion tax break while education would get $1.5 billion in cuts

♥ Nordstrom family (Nordstrom dept. stores) receives $826.5 million tax break while Community Service Block Grants would be eliminated, a $630 million cut

♥ Ernest Gallo family (shitty wines) receives a $468.4 million cut while LIHEAP (heating oil to poor) would get a $420 million cut

And so on and so on. Sanders additionally pointed out that the family of former Exxon/Mobil CEO Lee Raymond, who received a $400 million retirement package, would receive about $164 million in tax breaks.

Compare that to the Commodity Supplemental Food Program, which Bush proposes be completely eliminated, at a savings of $108 million over ten years. The program sent one bag of groceries per month to 480,000 seniors, mothers and newborn children. AlterNet

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YouTubing the Banana Splits

The Banana Splits!

Can you name the four members of the Banana Splits? Think of the song, "...Flippin' like a pancake, poppin' like a cork, Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper an' Snork," But can you name which Banana Split was which animal? Aha! You're are supposed to know this stuff, people.

Fleegle is a beagle, Drooper is a lion, Bingo is a gorilla, and Snorky is an elephant. It is interesting to note that 3 of the 4 Banana Splits are endangered animals. (Save Drooper, Bingo, and Snorky from extinction!)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting The Banana Splits were yet another Saturday morning cartoon show that tried to cash in on the bubblegum pop rock and roll music scene. The group seemed very like the Monkees or the Beatles. Drooper was sort of like John Lennon or Michael Nesmith. Bingo was sort of like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees, who was sort of like Ringo Starr. Fleagle was sort of like Peter Tork (well, not really), and Snorky was not really like anybody, except perhaps Harpo Marx. (Snorky did not talk, he just made horn noises.)

A Sour Grapes Messenger GirlThe arch-enemies of the Banana Splits were the Sour Grapes Bunch, a group of five young girls that were the terrorist Al Queda to the Banana Splits' Freedom Fighters. The Banana Splits were often visited by a representative of the group, a Sour Grapes Messenger Girl. A Sour Grapes girl typically delivered a message, then danced about, then stuck her tongue out at the Banana Splits. I have no idea what that part of the show was about. I never did understand it. They seem to still have a fan base. This clip Features the Sour Grapes Bunch, but the audio is from Sheri & the Splits.

A talking ape, apparently (and rather gruesomely) stuffed and mounted on the wallThe show also had a talking ape, apparently (and rather gruesomely) stuffed and mounted on the wall, and a Cuckoo Clock that spoke as well. This appears to have been an homage to the Addam's Family, who had a mounted swordfish with a man's foot sticking out its mouth, a stuffed two headed turtle, and a polar bear skin rug in the entryway that roared when visitors step on it.

Banana Splits Show ran a bunch of different forgettable cartoons, including The Three Musketeers, The Arabian Knights, Micro Adventures, etc. They also ran the unforgettable Danger Island, with the proffessor's plucky daughter, Leslie Hayden, and her white pants that never got dirty even though they were stranded on a desert island!

The Banana Splits costumes were designed by Sid and Marty Krofft, who later hit it big with the likes of "H. R. Pufnstuf" and "The Bugaloos."

exploding terrorist cupcakeThis is probably the best clip I found, it portrays Bingo's Birthday. There is dancing, wacky hijinks, and an exploding terrorist cupcake. Then Bingo receives a Magic Machine from the gang. All of the Banana Splits enter the machine..."The last one in is a Sour Grape Girl!" (They all fit? Of course! It's magic!), and they are transported to an alternate universe that looks suspiciously like a soundstage filled with theatrical smoke.

The show's biggest controversy: Did Bob Marley steal the melody for his hit "buffalo Soldier" from the Banana Splits theme song? I think that this video explains it all.

The Banana Splits Videos
Banana Splits intro [ 2, 3, 4 ]
Banana Splits original intro - Restored
Gonna Find A Cave
You're The Loving End
One Track Mind
A Banana Splits Clip
Doin' The Banana Splits - Sheri & the Splits
Banana Marley

Tra-la-la song lyrics

Related Links
Wikipedia: Banana Splits The Banana Splits Little Gems - The Banana Splits The Banana Splits Adventure Hour Episode Guide "Confessions of a Sour Grapes Messenger Girl"

Vaguely Related Links
The Dickies play the The Banana Splits Theme.
Liz Phair performs The Tra La La Song, featuring Sailor Moon!
At Home With Rex Rabbit, featuring the The Tra La La Song.
A cheesy Banana Splits knock off, "the Skatebirds."
Entropia Universe to the Banana Splits tune, Gonna Find A Cave.
A clip of the Banana Splits theme song, featuring a dancing banana.
More than a little bit annoying, the Jumper Monsters Do Banana Splits.

Links that are not even vauguely related, but worth watching
Birthday Suit, which is an "early bubblegum pop music video/cartoon featuring the Chatanooga Cats that was played on the early Banana Splits during the late '60s. It's oh so wrong on so many levels..."

European teen popstar Lio sings her hit banana split, A brief video of girls dancing to Lio's banana split, and in a different version of the song, Lio sings Banana Split wearing a series of different outfits, including a nun costume and long split latex dress. You want more? Sandra Lou is retro-hot-pink delicous! Sandra Lou sings Banana Split. "Ooo-la-la!"

From The Muppet Show, the Swedish Chef demonstrates how to make a Banana Split, Keroro Gunso is unable to resist banana peels in Keroro Gunso doing a banana split, and from Not Another Teen Movie, the famous banana split scene.


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The girl in the white pants

Danger Island was really all about the plucky daughter, Leslie Hayden, and her white pants that never got dirty even though they were stranded on a desert island!

One of the regular segments of the TV show The Banana Splits was Danger Island. And the main reason to watch Danger Island was to see Leslie Hayden, the plucky daughter of Professor Hayden.

The show was ostensibly about Professor Hayden and his crew getting stranded on a desert island after getting shipwrecked by pirates. There is some foolishness about the lost city of Tobanya and the Professor's missing brother, but we all know what the show was really about - the plucky daughter, Leslie Hayden, and her white pants that never got dirty even though they were stranded on a desert island! It was all about the white pants, and of course Leslie's bare midriff. (She used to wear her button down shirt tied in a knot at her sternum.)

In every episode, amid the ever present cry of "Uh-Oh, Chongo!", Leslie would be captured by evil pirates or nasty native headhunters. She would then be tied up, and the camera would zoom in on her struggling against her bonds in a fashion that was most intriguing. If she wasn't tied up, she would be hitting the villains over the head with coconuts to a chorus of cheesy sound effects. ("Take that, you evil native headhunter! Pax Americana!")

This video clip has it all. The white pants, sunken treasure, evil pirates, the damsel in distress, and even the Professor's daughter in a black bikini! (Check out that swinging music!)

The girl in the white pants was played by Ronne Troup, who is the daughter of the late musician and actor Bobby Troup. Before the white pants and Danger Island, Troup played one of the school girls in the Hayley Mills film, The Trouble With Angels. She appeared as a guest star in several different TV shows, such as The Partridge Family, My Three Sons, Adam 12, and she also appeared with her father on my sister's favorite TV show, Emergency!.

She was cast, and then later rejected as the The Flying Nun. Damn you, Sally Fields! The girl in the white pants is far pluckier than you!

Unfortunately, there are almost no pictures of Ronne Troup on the internet. How is this possible? How could the fickle public forgot the girl in the white pants?

Why are there no good pictures of the girl in the white pants on the internet?

Google Video: Danger Island (First 9 minutes) Danger Island's intro Danger Island Ronne Troup Biography Danger Island Episode Guide Danger Island a Titles & Air Dates Guide Ronne Troup is crying! Adam 12 Guest Stars Danger Island picture "Uh Oh, Chongo"

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Batwoman vs. Batgirl

Batwoman vs. Batgirl

After the recent press that Batwoman has been getting, I have decided to attempt to answer the burning question on eveybody's lips - Who is hotter, Batwoman or Batgirl?

Batwoman vs. Batgirl, you decide!


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Monday, February 19, 2007

Bush: "I'm just like George Washington (except the part about being honest and stuff)"

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

MOUNT VERNON, Va. - President Bush honored the 275th birthday of the nation's first president on Monday, likening George Washington's long struggle that gave birth to a nation to the war on global terrorism.

"Today, Iraq is fighting a war to defend their liberty and way of life from America." said Bush, standing in front of Washington's home. "And as we work to advance the cause of freedom around the world, we remember that the father of our country believed that the freedoms we secured in our revolution were not meant for Americans alone." Seattle Post-Intelligencer

(No, that is not really what he said.)

Irony of the Week - Accused Terrorist Is Big GOP Donor

GOP Terrorist Alert

Justin Rood Reports:

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) won't say what it plans to do with thousands of dollars in campaign donations it received from an accused terror financier.

Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari gave $15,250 to the NRCC since 2002, according to FEC records published on the Web site

On Friday, Alishtari pled not guilty to funding terrorism and other crimes, including financial fraud.

The NRCC is the main political group dedicated to helping the Republican party win seats in the U.S. House of Representatives. Reached Monday morning for comment, an NRCC spokeswoman declined to discuss the matter on the record.

The indictment against Alishtari unsealed in Manhattan federal court Friday charges him with providing material support to terrorists by transferring $152,000 between banks to allegedly be used to purchase night-vision goggles and other equipment needed for a terrorist training camp. ABC News [ 2 ]


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Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Lawgiver Cometh

And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden, and chained him to a tree and the children did make sport of him.

As per Cap'n Dyke, The Lawgiver has been sighted at the Liverpool Academy of Art. Sparks were flying from his eyes and he was brandishing a whip, ready to drive out the humans from the earth. it is clear that simian prophecy as outlined in the Sacred Scrolls has been fullfilled. It is the coming of the great Lawgiver.

"And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden,
and chained him to a tree, and the children did make sport of him."
Sacred Scrolls            


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Republican senate blocks anti-escalation resolution

Harry Reid:Senate rejects debate on anti-escalation resolution. AP reports: "The Senate gridlocked on the Iraq war in a sharply worded showdown on Saturday as Republicans foiled a Democratic attempt to rebuke President Bush over his deployment of 21,500 additional combat troops. The vote was 56-34." That was four short of the 60 needed to advance the measure, which is identical to a nonbinding resolution that passed the House on Friday. Think Progress

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Friday, February 16, 2007

Speaker Pelosi to President Bush: "No escalation for you, Sunshine."

'The stakes in Iraq are too high to recycle proposals that have little prospect for success,' said Speaker Nancy Pelosi. 'The passage of this legislation will signal a change in direction in Iraq that will end the fighting and bring our troops home.'

A non-binding resolution opposing a troop buildup in Iraq won in a the House of Representatives today at a vote of 246 to 182, the first time since the war began that Congress has gone on record against President Bush's policy.

"The stakes in Iraq are too high to recycle proposals that have little prospect for success," said Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "The passage of this legislation will signal a change in direction in Iraq that will end the fighting and bring our troops home."

Seventeen Republicans voted for the resolution, and two Democrats voted against it - Reps. Gene Taylor of Mississippi and Jim Marshall of Georgia.

Disapproving of the decision of the President announced on January 10, 2007, to deploy more than 20,000 additional United States combat troops to Iraq.

Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That--

(1) Congress and the American people will continue to support and protect the members of the United States Armed Forces who are serving or who have served bravely and honorably in Iraq; and

(2) Congress disapproves of the decision of President George W. Bush announced on January 10, 2007, to deploy more than 20,000 additional United States combat troops to Iraq.

Sophism vs. Nihilism

Sophism vs. Nihilism

(Modern usage of the word Sophism) "The essential claim of sophistry is that the actual logical validity of an argument is irrelevant (if not non-existent); it is only the ruling of the audience which ultimately determines whether a conclusion is considered "true" or not. By appealing to the prejudices and emotions of the judges, one can garner favorable treatment for one's side of the argument and cause a factually false position to be ruled true." Wikipedia

"Nihilism is a philosophical position which argues that the world, especially past and current human existence, is without objective meaning, purpose, comprehensible truth, or essential value. Nihilists generally assert some or all of the following: there is no reasonable proof of the existence of a higher ruler or creator, a "true morality" is unknown, and secular ethics are impossible; therefore, life has no truth, and no action is known to be preferable to any other." Wikipedia

So you can see that any argument made by either a Sophist or a Nihilist would be very similar. Regardless of the facts in a given argument, a Sophist (modern usage of the word) would argue that the facts are irrelevant, a Nihilist would argue that the facts are not knowable. Both disciplines have little regard for "truth."

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

YouTubing the Archies

YouTubing the Archies

Say what you will about the Archies, they had the best bubble gum pop hit ever, "Sugar Sugar." And as far as the whole Betty vs. Veronica debate, I vote Betty. Veronica may be sweet, but Betty is the girl for me!

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