Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Frankenbama Conquers the World!

America's first foreign president is an Islamo-fascist...

Bent on destroying the country...

America has only one remainging hope...


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Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?

The Health Care Mash! Click here and tell them Boris Sent you...

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Tomorrow is Halloween...

Watch out for werepoodles!

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Director Publicly Quits Church of Scientology Over Their Support For Prop 8


In what may prove to be an earth-shaking rupture for the organization, Oscar-winning writer and director Paul Haggis has broken publicly with the Church of Scientology, the Hollywood-centric religion that has recently come under renewed scrutiny for its political positions.

In a scathing letter to the church's celebrity contact, Tommy Davis, Haggis accused the church of hypocrisy and lies, especially regarding its decision to support the anti-gay-marriage proposition on the California ballot last year, Proposition 8.

"I told you I could not, in good conscience, be a member of an organization where gay-bashing was tolerated," Haggis wrote, referring to support for Prop. 8 in the church's San Diego branch. "You promised action. Ten months passed. No action was forthcoming."

OK Mr. Haggis, I'm with you on the whole Prop. 8 thing - but you were OK with the whole part about a galactic emperor named Xenu who had brought frozen aliens to earth 75 million years ago in spaceships that looked like DC-8s and killed them by tossing them into the volcanoes of Hawaii and then collected their souls and brainwashed them and who were then later were assimilated into mankind and that the souls of these aliens plauge man to this very day? You were okay with that part of the story all the way up until the whole Scientology supports Prop. 8 thing, right?

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Bob the Angry Flower's Guide to Its and It's


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My Friend George Sent Me This


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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Zaius Nation Goes From a Complete Unknown to Merely Very Obscure!

Over ONE MILLION customers served! This is indeed a major milestone in Zaius Nation history. Sure, there have been other Zaius Nation milestones in the past [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ], but this milestone is even better! (Mainly because it's a bigger number, of course.) Viva la Revolution!

For this very special occasion I have created a video that explains in detail what has taken place here at Zaius Nation over last 3 years. Also, for those that have not been following the news, I have created another video that acts a political primer of recent events. I hope that you like them!

I would like to thank my running mate and partner in crime politics, Germaine Gregarious, for all of her fine work over the years. Her quick wits and pyrotechnic personality have gotten me out of many a scrape, I must say!

Blue Gal
And I would also like to thank Blue Gal, who does so much for all of us bloggers! Thank you, Blue Gal. :o)

And I would like to especially thank all of my readers from the bottom of my heart. (This is the part where I get all mushy. I hope that I didn't forget anybody!) I would like to thank Adventures, Ink, Adventures in Nerdliness, Abagond, AlterDestiny, Anaïs Nohant, Angry Ballerina [ 2 ], The Anti-Bullsh*t Dome of Wonder, Apocalyptics Anonymous II, The Ardent Thread's Weblog, The Aristocrats, Ask A Ninja, All Hat No Cattle, Atomic Romance, Attentive Aphorist, Aunt Dahlia, Baby Days, Bad Habit, Badtux the Snarky Penguin, Bailey's Buddy, Beautiful Day Rule, Beginning to Bird, Betsy Devine, Bella Rossa, Billy Miller, Bleeding Tree, Blog On Smog, Blue Gal, Blue Girl (No relation), Bob Geiger, Bogus Zen*,, Brain Rage, Brainshrub, The Bree Walker Show Blog, Bubs, CalPundit, Candy's daily Dandy, The Canary Sings, Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen, Capitol Punishment, Carnival of the Liberals, Cat in the Bag, Chicken Head, Circle Jerk at the Square Dance,, Comics All Too Real, Comrade Kevin's Chrestomathy, The Consortium of Badness, Crooks and Liars, Cuddlefish, Culture of Life News, Culture Vultures, Cyberography, Darkblack, Darwin's Dagger, The Dean's Office, Dear Thyroid, A Drop of Sense, Democratic Underground, Devilham's Attic, The Digital Press Club, Dimensión Fantás, Disaffected and it Feels So Good, DistributorCap NY, Donkey Mountain, DownWithTyranny!, A Dragon Dancing With the Buddha, Driftglass, The Drunken Severed Head, The Dubya's Media, Dusty, El Serracho, Electronic Cerebrectomy, *Eli Lyons, Enriched Geranium, Evangelical Right, Evil Mad Scientist, Evil Slutopia, Evil Spock, Ex-Lion Tamer, Eyeteeth, Fancy Freelancer, Five Public Opinions, 43-Ideas-Per-Minute, 45's and Under, FOX Watch, Fragmentia13, FranIAm, Freida Bee [ 2 ], Gastriques, The Gavel, Germaine Gregarious, Get-Your-Zs, Gledwood Vol 2, GOPnot4me, The Great Endarkenment, The Hapless Hermit, Have Camera Will Travel, Heeling To Port, Here Comes Johnny Yen Again, The Hill, Hotline TV, House of the Rising Sons, I Am Jacks Non-Blog, I Can Has Cheezburger?, Ice Station Tango, Illiterate Electorate, Illustrated Daily Scribble, I, Splotchy, I Make No Promises, Impeachment and Other Dreams, The Inconvienent Truth, Indexed, Infidel753, Informiorium, Jazz from Hell, Jay's Poetry, Jess Wundrun, Jesus' General,, Jintrinsique, Jobsanger, Joe's Bank, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, Jon Swift, Just JoeP, Jonestown, Journeys with Jood, Judging the Books, Just An Earth-Bound Misfit, JustJoeP, Kelly the Little Black Dog, Ketchup is a Vegetable, Kimonomomo, Knight and Stars, Kommandos Project, Kulkuri, Kulkuri's Journeys & Wanderings, Leftblogistan, L'ennui mélodieux, La Casa de Los Gatos, Las largas Noches, Laughing Tom Paine, Lady, That's My Skull, Last Left Turn Before Hooterville, Left Edge North, Lesbians From Space, Left 'Toon Lane, Les, The Liberal Coalition, Liberality, Lighter, Like Kryptonite To Stupid, Little Bang Theory (CR), Lisa [ 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ], The Local Crank, Lotsa 'Splainin' 2 Do, Love At Home, Luminiferous Ether, Luxemburger Anarchist, Malheureux, Man-Eating Cheeseburger, Manhattan Butterfly, Maui Girl, Media Matters, Mental Detritus, Mercury Rising, Midnight/Noise, Mind-O-Nicki, Mirror of Fools, Mistress Quickly, Mock, Paper, Scissors, Mocksure, Mondo Marco, MoneyFiles, Monkey Muck, Morning Martini, Mother Jones, Musings of a Wandering Elf, My Two Sense, MWB's World [ 2 ], Myriagon, Nailing Jello to the Wall,, Napman57's Weblog, Neural Gourmet, Neccoland, The Needs of the Few, The Nefarious Lair of LGPPP, Inc., Nine Billion Names and Counting, Nine Pearls, No Smoking in the Skull Cave, A Noble Undoing, Occasional Superheroine, Old American Century, OKJimm's Eggroll Emporium, Omnipotent Poobah, the Opinion Mill, The Otherwhirled, The Oxpecker File, Pam's House Blend, Patriotboy, Perpetual Dawnne [ 2 ], phantsythat, Phydeaux Speaks, Pidomon's Posts*, Pixeloo, PoliTits,, Political Arithmetik, A Post-Cynical Seer, The [Prefix]iest Thing I Saw Today, Preserve, Protect and Defend, Princess Sparkle Pony, Project Matt, Pseudo-Intellectualism, Pushing Fifty...Gently..., The Quaker Agitator, The Quoteable I Ching, Qwerty's Qoncepts, Quit Your Day Job, Rabbits Ate My Homework, *Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth, Rawrahs, Republic of Sestakastan, Read My Mind, Retrospace, Ruby-Mae & Her Mustang Flattery, Rumours With Humour, Sack of Monkeys in My Pocket, Salmon Alley, Sandra Lou, Scholars and Rogues, Secret Fun Blog, Seeing Eye Chick, The Sexy Armpit, Shakespeare's Sister, Shelley the Republican, Sh*t Planet, Silly Humans, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, Sleestak, Social Zymurgy: Culture Of Beer, Social Seppuku, Some Guy's Blog, Spocko's Brain [ 2 ], spiiderweb, Spin of the Day, Sprawling Ramshackle Compound, Stardragon the Canadian, Stardust Musings, Starship Tim, Stealing Napkins, Steve Denies Any Wrongdoing, The State of Discontent [ 2 ], Stop Licking the Curtains, Stuff White People Do, Stuff You Never Wanted to Know, Stump Lane, The Subliterate Cinephile, A Sunny Thought, Talking Points Memo, They Get Letters, That's Why, They Gave Us a Republic, Thinking Ape Blues, This Is It, This Modern World, Thorne's World, Thought Crime Wave, Threading Water, Through the Wastes of Time, Tiamat's Friends, Traveling Through Time and Space, Two Minutes In The Box, Übermilf, The Unconventional Conventionist, Unglued, Unruly Mob/Les Enrages, Upstate Oddities, Urantian Sojourn, Utah Savage, Vagabond Scholar, A Very Strange Country, Vigouruex Artiste, What I Like About the Universe, What Now Toons, Wee Mousie [ 2 ], Wink Studios, Witches and Scientists, Washington Whispers, Westcoast Walker, What I Would Have Said..., Whiskey Marie, Wondertrash [ 2* ], WOK3, WTF Is It Now?, The Wulfshead, Wyldth1ng, Xena Lynn Amphipoulous, Yikes! [ 2 ], Yooper in Crackerland, Your Dress'd Look Better On Me, Get-Your-Zs, Zen Comix, Zirgar's Fresh New Brain Squeezin's!, and Zoey and Me and Google Images, where I still get about two thirds of my traffic!

Thanks, everybody!

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Monday, October 26, 2009

Despite the Blanket Media Coverage, I No Longer Care What The pilots Were Doing

guitar hero
The pilots of Northwest Airlines Flight 188 were engaged in a 'heated conversation' about 'airline policies' and were too distracted to realize that their plane flew 150 miles past the Minneapolis airport? Ha!

Guitar Hero 5 now has Party Play Mode! Rock on, Dude!

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She-Hulk Is Awesome!


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Girl Robot


(I really like the theme song, and the video features an orange kitty!)

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Friday, October 23, 2009

T. Boone Pickens: Another Ugly American

T. Boone Pickens
Remember T. Boone Pickens? he's the corporate raider that spent millions on television ads [ 1, 2 ] proclaiming that he was pro-natural gas after being an oil man all his life. He later tried to sucker California voters into a referendum regarding his natural gas fueling station company that would have benefited Pickens' company to the exclusion of almost all other clean-vehicle fuels and technologies.

Mr. Pickens is the man that gave millions of dollars to George Bush and the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth. He also offered a million dollars to anyone able to dispute any claims made by the Swift Boat Vets. John Kerry sent Pickens a letter accepting the challenge. In response to Kerry's acceptance of the challenge, Pickens issued a letter narrowing the original challenge and changing the rules of his original offer.

Now the "reformed" oil man is complaining that the Iraqi government has awarded contracts to foreign companies, particularly Chinese firms, to develop Iraq's vast reserves while Pickens and other American oil companies have mostly been shut out.

"They're opening them (oil fields) up to other companies all over the world... We're entitled to it," Pickens said of Iraq’s oil. "Heck, we even lost 5,000 of our people, 65,000 injured and a trillion, five hundred billion dollars."

It's appalling that thousands of American soldiers' lives have been lost, just as it is appaling that hundreds of thousands of Iraqis lost their lives in the Iraq war. It's loathsome, offensive and disgusting that an unsavory character like T. Boone Pickens is now trying to cash in on the lives of America's fallen soldiers.

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Lily Allen and Her Famous Third Nipple


The Man With the Golden Gun
I think that I have met her father, Francisco Scaramonga...

And that particular encounter didn't end well, as a I recall.

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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Rush Limbaugh and the Fire Hydrant

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I were on assignment to deliver a very important package to Rush Limbaugh on behalf of CNN's Carol Costello. [ 1, 2 ]

Mr. Limbaugh was actually quite receptive at first...

carol costello

But later complained that the matter was being unfairly treated by the media.

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"the-more-things-change-the-More-They-Stay-the-Same" Department

Where have we heard this before? FOX News is partying like it's 1934!

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Play the swell new game, 'The Separation of Church and State'!

Play the great new game "The Separation of Church and State" that I made with my good friend Derk the Jerk over at Man-Eating Cheeseburger. The object of the game is to keep the Church Side Guys (in black suits) from entering the State building, and the State Side Guys (in grey suits) from entering the Church building by picking them up and moving them back to their own side. Make sure you don't grab them before they have crossed the border, or you will lose a few points!

Making guest appearances are Sarah Palin (representing the State), and Scientologist Tom Cruise and Jesus on a dinosaur (representing factions of the Church), the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Cheney-Cthulhu. Also, when you see the State smuggling super secret documents to the Church, click on them quickly to make them explode! Scoring is tabulated using the most confusing methods possible.

It looks really easy for about first 15 seconds or so, and then it just gets crazy - This game gives you an idea of what the folks over at Americans United for the Separation of Church and State have to put up with on a daily basis! My best score was three scandals, and I have never gotten more than 2 two of the little paper airplanes. This version is reduced slightly to fit on my blog. You can play it full sized at this link.

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The Heffalumps and Woozles Song

No time for blogging today! I am too busy attending to important issues regarding the status of my nutritional well being. (I just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to starving, poor people. "Bah!" I told them. "Any person who could fit into my clothes is most certainly not starving!") In the meantime, you can watch this scary video of The Heffalumps and Woozles Song. (I think that they are illegal aliens, and they are after our honey! somebody better tell Lou Dobbs...)

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Friday, October 16, 2009

What Songs Do You Sing To Your Cat? (Or, All I Have Today Is Kitty Videos)

[ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 ]
Kitty Videos

The greatest things about singing to your cat are:

1. They actually like silly lyrics, as long as the lyics are about them.

2. They don't care if you have a terrible singing voice.

3. Sometimes they even sing along!

I've been singing these songs to my cat, Captain Nemo:

(Sung to the tune of the theme of the cartoon, "Go-Go-Gophers")

Neee-MO-nemo nemo-nemo NE-mo ne-MO

(Sung to the tune of the theme to the TV show, "Batman")

NemoNemoNemoNemoNemoNemoNemoNemo NEMO!

(Sung to the tune of "That's Amore")

When Captain Nemo hits your eye like a big pizza pie, That's A-Nemo!

What have you been singing to your cat?             

Cats rule! Dogs drool.


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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Check Out Our Swell New Video Game, 'Senate Finance Committee'!

Check out this swell video game called 'Senate Finace Committee' that I made with my good friend Derk the Jerk over at Man-Eating Cheeseburger. (keep your cursor inside the game, or you can't move your senator!)

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Despite His Many Failures, Bill Kristol Still Hasn't Lost His Comedic Charm

I think that it's clear that Rachel Maddow gave the best explanation as to why President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, But Bill Kristol, the president of the Project for a New American Century and one of the chief architects of the Iraq War certainly gave the funniest soundbite on the subject. On FOX News Sunday He said, "President Obama and I have done about the same amount to bring about world peace." [ 1 ] Ha! Mr. Kristol, you still totally crack me up!

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Saturday, October 10, 2009

What Happened To Rush Limbaugh When He Heard That Obama Had Won The Nobel


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Friday, October 09, 2009

Obama Wins the Nobel Peace Prize

Do you think that he won for being a socialist or for being an islamo-fascist?

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The Scarlet Letter

Scarlet Letter

On Nov. 1, a law in Oklahoma will go into effect that will collect personal details about every single abortion performed in the state and post them on a public website. Implementing the measure will "cost $281,285 the first year and $256,285 each subsequent year. Here are the first eight questions that women will have to reveal:
1. Date of abortion
2. County in which abortion performed
3. Age of mother
4. Marital status of mother
(married, divorced, separated, widowed, or never married)
5. Race of mother
6. Years of education of mother
(specify highest year completed)
7. State or foreign country of residence of mother
8. Total number of previous pregnancies of the mother
(Live Births, Miscarriages, Induced Abortions)

Although the questionnaire does not ask for name, address, or "any information specifically identifying the patient, as Feminists for Choice points out, these eight questions could easily be used to identify a woman in a small community. "They're really just trying to frighten women out of having abortions, Keri Parks, director of external affairs at Planned Parenthood of Central Oklahoma, said. The Center for Reproductive Rights is challenging the law, arguing that "it violates the Oklahoma Constitution because it 'covers more than one subject' — a challenge that previously worked to strike down an abortion ultrasound law.

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Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Tom Delay On "Dancing With the Stars"


I am sorry to hear that Tom Delay has bowed out of "Dancing With the Stars". [ 1, 2, 3 ] I actually liked Tom Delay's Samba rendition of "Why Can't We Be Friends". When he first came out and 'shook his booty', I didn't realize at first that he was doing that to show the GOP emblem on his back. I thought he was just doing that for an extra-creepy 'embarrassing-uncle-that-the-family-doesn't-talk-about-anymore' effect, as he had done in his previous performance.

As I began to realize the message that was being conveyed was one of peace between the two political parties, I have to admit that I was kind of taken aback. Also, there was a certain degree of reality in the metaphor that they were trying to create on stage, and I have to commend Delay for his attempt to deliver a bipartisan message.

Delay was dressed as one fourth of a barbershop quartet with a GOP symbol of an elephant on his back, a cultural reference that only those members of the audience that are over 65 would probably understand. In this particular outfit, I felt that his costume did a really good job of representing his party and how they are viewed by the American public right now.

His dancing partner, Cheryl Burke, wore a blue dress with white stars and the Democratic symbol of a donkey on her dress. True to form to the metaphor created by the dance number, the Democrat was younger, hipper, better looking, and did all of the work while the Republican got all of the attention.

I had not really enjoyed their previous dance number to the song "Wild Thing". Cheryl was dressed as sort of a hot samba goddess in leopard prints and a sexy bikini, while Delay was dressed as a rather frightening polyester gaucho. (I am not really sure that anybody should be allowed to wear that much fluorescent brown.) While Cheryl may be able to pull off the concept of 'Wild', I think Delay sort of came off rather tame and out of place in that particular number. Tom Delay is about as 'wild' as a crooked hedgefund banker on holiday in the Hamptons.


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Monday, October 05, 2009

The Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute's Great American Conservative Women Calendar


U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann is going to be one of 12 women to be featured in the 2010 Great American Conservative Women Calendar, which was created to act as a fundraising tool for the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute. [ 1, 2, 3 ]

Personally, I'm gonna wait until the Islamo-Fascist version comes out...

Hat tip to Tengrain, for finding the story. :o)

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Sunday, October 04, 2009

The GOP Extra-Christian Family Values Funtime Roundup n' Bar-B-Que

GOP Extra-Christian Family-Values Funtime Roundup n' Bar-B-Que

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I would Like To Thank the Academy...


I would like to thank Kulkuri of Yooper in Crackerland for awarding me the coveted One Lovely Blog Award! I am afraid that I have been remiss in my blog meme duties as of late, and I intend to start making up for that in the coming weeks.

The rules for this fine award are:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

And the envelope please...

Darius Whiteplume of Adventures In Nerdliness, Comrade Kevin of Comrade Kevin's Chrestomathy, Darwin's Dagger, Blanca DeBree of Blanca DeBree Blog, Zoey and Me at Cat In Bag, Max at The Drunken Severed Head, Aironlater of 43-Ideas-Per-Minute, GOPnot4me, Just JoeP, Ketchup Is A Vegetable, Sunshine of Love At Home, Melvin The Barbarian, Sidhe of Musings of a Wandering Elf, Rehctaw of Rawrahs, ThoughtCriminal of ThoughtCrimeWave, Undie Lib, Siri, JasonC, DivaGeek and Maru of WTF Is It Now?!?

Our Lovely Blog Award


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Thursday, October 01, 2009

Tea Time!

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I have invited a few democratic members of congress from the Senate Finance Committee over for tea this afternoon...

Ms. Gregarious and I just wanted to have a little chat with them about the recent turn of events regarding the vote for the public option amendment of the Senate Finance version of the health care bill. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Ah, The senator has a sweet tooth!

In the meantime, might I suggest that you contact them yourself and tell them what you think of their recent actions, now that we know which Democrats are for the public option and which Democrats want to protect the insurance industry at the expense of the American people.

Finance Committee Chairman Max BaucusFinance Committee Chairman Max Baucus (D-MT) has received nearly $8 million in donations from pharmaceutical and health insurance companies. His former chief of staff is now a health industry lobbyist. He voted against both amendments. He's a total douche. Write him today!

Senator Blanche LincolnBlanche Lincoln (D-AR) has received about $4 million in health industry donations. Like Baucus, Lincoln's former chief of staff is now a health industry lobbyist. She voted against both amendments. She is a healthcare industry trough feeder. Write her today!

Senator Kent ConradKent Conrad (D-ND) has received around $3 million in health industry donations. Like Baucus, Conrad's former chief of staff is now a health industry lobbyist. He voted against both amendments. He's just another health insurance corporate pigboy. Write him today!

Senator Bill NelsonBill Nelson (D-FL) has recieved around $2.5 million in health industry donations. He voted against the public option amendment offered by Nelson Rockefeller, but voted in favor of the more cautious public option proposed by Sen. Chuck Schumer. Tell him to get on the ball!

Senator Tom CarperTom Carper (D-DE) has received around $1.5 million in health industry donations. He voted against the public option amendment offered by Nelson Rockefeller, but voted in favor of the more cautious public option proposed by Sen. Chuck Schumer. Tell him to get on the ball!

Senator Max Baucus is now taking his marching orders from Massengill!

Max Baucus

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