Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, August 19, 2010

House Minority Leader John Boehner Lives Up To His Name


House Minority Leader John Boehner, one of the most 'colorful' member of congress, has been speaking out lately in favor of protecting the ultra-wealthy.

Rep. Boehner's message is carefully crafted to state a distinct position and is directed to a very specific audience.

Despite the controversy of this particular issue might create, we can be sure of one thing...

Rep. Boehner certainly knows who his friends are.

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Get Your Filthy Rhetoric Off of Me, You Damn Dirty Human!


I am deeply offended that Glenn Beck has seen fit to attempt to deride the inevitable course of humanity's destiny to promote his own pathetic political agenda. As we all know, mankind shall not be truly content until they learn to embrace the gentle yoke of simian kindness. This is merely another ridiculous example of a foul human speaking out against his genetic superiors.

Glenn Beck: "Special interest! What planet have I landed on? Did I slip through a wormhole in the middle of the night and this looks like America? It’s like the damn 'Planet of the Apes.' Nothing makes sense! The guy who's helped destroy all these pensions, Andy Stern, is now on the financial oversight committee. Is this who we want to take advice from?

"The unions who have collapsed all of the businesses, who have collapsed all of their pensions, they are bankrupting everything they touch, and we go to them and we say, yes, tell me, what should we do? It’s like any marital tips from Tiger Woods."

Glen Beck's point was that he felt like the character Taylor from The Planet of the Apes, waking up in a world that is so very different from what he had hoped or expected.

Despite the rhetoric to the contrary, I actually think that it can be argued that this foolish statement was not an overtly racist comment from a human standpoint - and that this litany of hogwash was carefully crafted merely to incite ire from the more rational members of your society while protecting Beck from any negative consequences by nature of the broad ambiguity of their meaning.

On the other hand, from a simian perspective these words can indeed be considered insulting and reprehensible. Clearly Glenn Beck and his kind will benefit in the future from the wise tutelage of an ape civilization. "It's like the damn Planet of the Apes!"
Emptysuit: Glenn Beck: Planet Of The Apes Remarks
Huffington Post: Glenn Beck Compares Obama's America To 'Planet Of The Apes' Glenn Beck + The Planet of the Apes = Blatant Racism Glenn Beck's Top 10 Questionably Racist Moments

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The 6-Year-Old Singing Sensation Connie Talbot

No time for blogging today! I am too busy reviewing my present financial situation. (It would seem that scuba gear has become the mandatory wardrobe for homeowners in the present real estate market.) In the meantime you can watch these swell videos of 6-year-old singing sensation Connie Talbot singing Imagine, Three Little Birds and Ben. (That last song especially warms the cockels of my peanut butter-encrusted heart, as it is the theme to an ancient horror movie.)

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