Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Saturday, December 30, 2006

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?


Enthusiastic, enterprising, courageous, likes to take risks.
Colors: male: rose, female: white
Compatible Signs:
Bastet, Isis
God of wisdom, scribes, and writing
An ibis-headed man, or a baboon. Often seen with the moon on his head in either of these forms.
Sacred animals:
ibis, baboon
What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries
via Cap'n Dyke


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Friday, December 29, 2006

Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace: Just get back in your coffins by sunset, OK?

Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace: Just get back in your coffins by sunset, OK?

A full hour of both Glenn Beck AND Nancy Grace. Heaven help us. I wish that I could say that I can accurately describe the show, but I was only able to stomach about 20 minutes of it. In the transcript of the show, I did find this part interesting. The message seems very out of character for Grace;

BECK: It was a different age. I`m very active in my faith in our -- we hold to rather traditional values, and it is nice to be able to have some sort of connection to the values of the past, in a way. Do you -- are you religious at all? What role does God play in your life?

GRACE: Yes, I`m religious. I`m a horrible sinner.

BECK: Are you religious, or...

GRACE: I`m bad, and I know I`m bad.

BECK: That is lying!

GRACE: And that`s the only way -- no, this is true. The only way I will ever get into Heaven is if my mother somehow pulls some strings, because she`s a really good person.

BECK: Let me tell you something...

GRACE: If she gets me in, that`s the only way I`m getting in.

BECK: I`ve talked to so many people, "You`ve got to vouch for me. When you get there, you`ve got to vouch for me." I get that.

GRACE: I am a Methodist.

BECK: Are you spiritual or religious?

GRACE: I am devout in my attendance at church and supporting the church. I don`t really like the concept of organized religion, because it can be so wrong, excluding people because of who they are or how they live. I don`t remember seeing anything like that in the New Testament, anything so hateful or exclusive, the way it is portrayed now. And...

BECK: Well, he did turn some tables over for the moneychangers.

GRACE: Yes, I liked that part.

BECK: Yes. He did do that.

GRACE: There`s nothing wrong with being PO`ed.

BECK: OK, back in a second with more Nancy Grace. CNN

I find it interesting that she does not like organized religion, because at times it may excluding people because of who they are or how they live. I would agree with her, but it is odd that she said this as she is often criticized for her tendency to declare individuals guilty on the air before they have undergone trial. This is a journalism no-no for obvious reason.

Still, I would have to agree with her on this point.

On the other hand, some humor can be found in Beck's very immodest statement that people often ask him to vouch for them in heaven, "You`ve got to vouch for me. When you get there, you`ve got to vouch for me." This is from the man who asked Representative Keith Ellison (D-Minnesota). During the interview Beck asked Ellison, who is a Muslim, "OK. No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. ... With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.'"

Beck also approves of torture and is against raising the minimum wage, positions that would appear to be in direct conflict with the teachings of the New Testament. Beck is certainly not without criticism. I would venture to guess that his rank in the hereafter is not as assured as his statement may make it sound. Certainly some might argue that by merely stating that others think that he will receive special treatment in heaven could be construed as the sin of pride. Even if it is just a joke, it sounds sanctimonious.

But that aside, he does offer his fans several interesting and provocative "Glenn Beck" items for sale on his website, two of which I have not seen mentioned in the press and they do seem a bit odd to me. The first is a poster;

In honor of the 5th anniversary of September 11, Glenn has created a poster of the cover image of the September 2006 issue of Fusion Magazine. Each poster will be signed by Glenn.Remember, September 11th
- Autographed Poster

ONLY $40.00
Size: 23" x 35"
Availability: Usually ships within 7-10 business days.

Additional Product Information:
In honor of the 5th anniversary of September 11, Glenn has created a poster of the cover image of the September 2006 issue of Fusion Magazine. Each poster will be signed by Glenn.

So Beck feels that he is such a source or authority on the subject of 9-11 that he feel that it is appropriate to hawk a poster (for charity, mind you) that bears a picture of the twin towers with a representation of himself standing next to them.

The artwork for this poster was originally commissioned by Beck for the September 2006 his magazine, Fusion. Think about it: He commissioned someone to draw this picture for the anniversary of 911 issue of his publication.

The same man pretending to have the gravatas to stand alongside the twin towers as America's symbol of righteousness said this about the 9-11 victims;

But the second thought I had when I saw these people and they had to shut down the Astrodome and lock it down, I thought: I didn't think I could hate victims faster than the 9-11 victims. Media Matters

So Beck says that he hates the 9-11 victims, but feels strongly that he is something of a spokesman or symbol to explain 9-11 to his readers, at least enough to commission the controversial artwork for the cover of his magazine. I would say that his message is a little confused, to say the least.

As strange as the poster may seem, I am not even sure that I can properly exlpain this next item. It is a Christmas ornament festooned with a picture of a child and some animals around a Christmas tree, cringing in horror at the sight of a nuclear explosion. on the back of the ornament is Beck's company logo.

And as it also turns out, it's also that time of year when Islamic Extremism and the nut jobs who embody it are threatening to turn us all into vapor if we don't trade in our mistletoe for prayer rugs.

Baby’s Last Christmas Ornament
ONLY $14.95

Ah...Christmas. It's that time of year for getting the family together, reveling in the spirit of the season, and trimming the tree.

And as it also turns out, it's also that time of year when Islamic Extremism and the nut jobs who embody it are threatening to turn us all into vapor if we don't trade in our mistletoe for prayer rugs. (Though don't get the two confused--you do not want to surprise a radical Muslim with a kiss on the cheek. Don't ask--long story...)

Anyway, what better way to celebrate than with our brand new, "Baby's Last Christmas" ornament. Whether or not you have a baby, or even if we manage to escape a dirty nuke from a rogue Middle Eastern state, that doesn't mean this delightful Christmas collectible can't serve as a Yule tide reminder of the blanket of fear we were all living under in 2006.

God help us, everyone one!

I am all for humor, and I don't care who it pokes fun at - as long as it's funny. But this ornament is certainly not with keeping the Christmas season.

Fear-mongering on Christmas might seem a little inappropriate, but that is not what is really wrong here. Beck is a charter member of the "War on Christmas" crowd, and it seem more than a little hypocritical to be hawking fear-mongering Christmas ornaments on your website while criticizing others for their imagined anti-Christmas slights. This is just one example of Beck's holiday diatribe:

From the December 15 broadcast of ABC's Good Morning America:

SAWYER: All right, here's somebody who has no opinion on this at all, Glenn Beck. As we know, he's a television and talk-radio host. Hello.

BECK: Hi, guys. How are you? Very good.

SAWYER: Merry --

BECK: Ramahanukwanzmas.

SAWYER: Ramahanukwanzmas?

BECK: Ramahanukwanzmas.

ROBERTS: That's all-encompassing?

BECK: That's everything.

SAWYER: You firmly believe it's time to say Merry Christmas and just --

BECK: Oh, you know, I think it's time for everybody to just to relax and take a chill pill, and just understand what Christmas is really about. And everybody focuses on the birth of the baby, and I think it's about the death of the man. And the whole message of Christmas is about redemption, and starting over again, and having a second bite at the apple. That's what Christmas is about. And who's offended by that?

ROBERTS: You'd be surprised.

SAWYER: OK, it's one thing to say "Merry Christmas" to Robin and me, OK. But what if sitting at our table were the Dalai Lama, Muhammad Ali --

BECK: Yeah?

SAWYER: -- and Madonna?

BECK: Well, Madonna would be the only one that I think would be offended.


BECK: Madonna is full-fledged, out-of-her-mind nuts. You know that, and I know that. I'm the only one here that'll say it. The Dalai Lama wouldn't be offended by that. Media Matters

So Glenn Beck thinks he can speak for the Dalai Lama. I wonder what the Dalai Lama would think of Beck's "Baby’s Last Christmas Ornament"?

During this interview, Beck also said: "I believe that it is important for all of us to look evil in the eye and crush it"; "I believe there is a cancer that is radicalized Islam, and it must be cut out or it's going to kill all of us"; and "I believe it's Germany, 1938."

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Thursday, December 28, 2006

The island of Lohachara meets an untimely fate and really stupid press coverage

When a former inhaptant of the island of Lohachara was asked if he felt his home was destroyed by global warming or erosion, he responded, "HELP! I'm being eaten by a giant cephalopod!"

According to recent reports in the media, the island of Lohachara has been swallowed by rising tides caused by global warming. This may be true, but a casual disregard for the principals of journalism has taken what might be a very talking point for the global war on warming, and instead made the story seem silly because it only reports on parts of the story.

Rising seas, caused by global warming, have for the first time washed an inhabited island off the face of the Earth. The obliteration of Lohachara island, in India's part of the Sundarbans where the Ganges and the Brahmaputra rivers empty into the Bay of Bengal, marks the moment when one of the most apocalyptic predictions of environmentalists and climate scientists has started coming true.

As the seas continue to swell, they will swallow whole island nations, from the Maldives to the Marshall Islands, inundate vast areas of countries from Bangladesh to Egypt, and submerge parts of scores of coastal cities.

Eight years ago, as exclusively reported in The Independent on Sunday, the first uninhabited islands - in the Pacific atoll nation of Kiribati - vanished beneath the waves. The people of low-lying islands in Vanuatu, also in the Pacific, have been evacuated as a precaution, but the land still juts above the sea. The disappearance of Lohachara, once home to 10,000 people, is unprecedented.

This comment from sums it up tongue-in-cheek, pointing out how silly some of the arguments against global warming can be.

This unsponsered experiment is interesting: 10,000 people were predicted to be displaced when the sea levels rise due to global warming-related climate change. The hypothesis is supported by the result of the experiment; however, this experiment cannot be reproduced, begging the question -- is it really science or just a tragedy?

The problem with this story is that major details have been left out of the story to make it more dramatic. The story of the island of Lohachara sinking actually goes back 20 years [ 1, 2, 3 ], and many in the past have attributed the sinking of the island to erosion, not global warming.

So the story left out key elements, such as the fact that the island sinking was predicted 20 years ago [ 1, 2, 3 ], and was not a surprise revelation as the story suggests.

If the story had been researched and reported properly it would show that there is at least some degree of contraversy about the story. Perhaps the island did disapear due to erosion. Perhaps it was a combination of factors. Perhaps global warming was the major contributor. perhaps the author should have just reported on what had been said about the island for last 20 years.

By reporting the story in a slanted fashion, the Independent has given the anti-global warming crowd and their corporate masters a perfectly good reason to tear the story apart.

Chicken Little yelled, "Help! Help! The sky is falling!" Our frightened Chicken could well be a "journalist" writing about Global warming, or a former Vice-President that can't find anything else to do with his time.

The hysteria that is global warming is perfectly evinced in a recent story by the Independent newspaper from England.

Disappearing world: Global warming claims tropical island is so fraught with fear mongering and hyperventilation that it is no wonder that skeptics look to the Globaloney movement and laugh at their claims of "scientific" seriousness.

For some sidesplitting, hilarity, this particular story is as ridiculous as they come, replete with overly emotional rhetoric, ill chosen verbiage, and scientific boobery.

In all likelihood, global warming had a significant role in the disappearance of the island of Lohachara. Unfortunately the dramatic importance of the story has been ruined by the fact that the Independent chose to report on the story in an unprofessional fashion. The story of Lohachara will now be remembered as a hoax, not because it was untrue but because it was initially reported inaccurately.

It is embaressing to find a story like this. This form of fear-mongering journalism is what we so often see from right-wing publications. We need clear and reasonable facts to make the case for global warming, not yellow journalism.

Where the heck is the island of Lohachara? Lohachara Char, India

Promoting global warming the Karl Rove way Disappearing world: Global warming claims tropical island
AMERICAblog: Inhabited tropical island disappears comment

Global warming does not suit their corporate masters Bogus Global Warming Story - Lohachara Island A Perfect Example of Global Warming Hysteria
FAUX News: Inhabited Island Vanishes Beneath the Waves; Global Warming Blamed Fox News Snookered (Jackalope Alert)

20 years ago
Indian Jungles: By 2020, 12 more Sunderban islands will be under water
Express India: 22 yrs after deluge, they fear more
BBC: Fears rise for sinking Sundarbans

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Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas to all, and to all good night!


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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Agent Nancy Pelosi in "Last Chance for Democracy"

In powerful new role, Pelosi recasting herself
WASHINGTON – When Nancy Pelosi appeared on national television on the morning after voters returned the House to Democratic hands, Leon Rebibo's phone started ringing in Los Angeles.

A pearl wholesaler, Mr. Rebibo fielded calls from more than four dozen women of all political stripes who wanted a muted, multicolor strand of South Sea Tahitian pearls, just like the one Ms. Pelosi was wearing.

"I'm very disappointed the Democrats won, but I absolutely love her necklace. If my husband hears me, he's going to kill me," Mr. Rebibo recalled one Republican woman whispering into the phone.

As Ms. Pelosi prepares to be sworn in Jan. 4 as the first female speaker of the House, she has become an object of fascination and curiosity in political circles and beyond.

Barbara Walters interviewed her as one of the year's 10 most fascinating people. People magazine has written about her twice in recent weeks. Washington hairstylists debate whether her conservative, blow-dry cut works. An article in a Palm Springs, Calif., newspaper ran with the headline: "How to Get the Nancy Pelosi Look." (Answer: an Armani suit.)

Only weeks ago, Republicans were doing their best in the heat of the campaign to paint Ms. Pelosi, 66, as a conservative's nightmare – a San Francisco liberal out of touch with the mainstream.

But more recently, a poll measuring political charisma showed that she had "dramatically improved her standing" with the public, sponsors of the survey said, with voters knowing her better and feeling warmer toward her.

[...] "She is trying to dispatch the stereotype put forth by Republicans," said Kathleen Hall Jamieson, director of the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania. "The advantage she has is the country didn't know her before. Her challenge will be to take votes cast against Republicans and the war in Iraq and transform them into votes for the Democratic Party in 2008."

[...] On Friday, a "People's House" event is planned at the Capitol, where Ms. Pelosi will meet a broader group of well-wishers.

The cost of the events will be covered by campaign donations, except the People's House, which is paid for by congressional funds. The total cost is not clear, aides said.

Four months ago, Ms. Pelosi barely registered on the name-recognition scale, which served her well at the time; Republican attempts to demonize her fell flat because few Americans knew who she was. Now, many more do.

[...] But in the meantime, all eyes are on Ms. Pelosi, who is taking her place in political history, not to mention popular culture.

On a recent Friday, Leon Rebibo's family-owned Pearl Source in downtown Los Angeles unveiled "the Nancy Pelosi" – a replica of her Tahitian pearls made by designers who studied videotapes of the speaker-to-be. They will sell for $5,999 – a bargain compared with what Mr. Rebibo figures the real thing is worth. Dallas News

After they take control of Congress next month, Democrats want to roll back tax breaks that reward the oil industry for expanding refineries and drilling inside the United States.

House Speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi, D-San Francisco, has vowed to repeal "the multibillion-dollar subsidies for Big Oil" during the first 100 hours of the new session of the House. Democrats are expected to push to eliminate a handful of tax cuts for the oil and gas industry, but avoid more controversial proposals, such as raising mileage standards for SUVs.

But the Senate is another story. There, leading Republicans and a key Democrat have signaled they will vigorously oppose any changes in the tax laws that benefit oil and gas.

Pelosi and other Democrats say that tax deductions established during the last two years confer financial relief to an industry that doesn't need it.

Since she's the human embodiment of what right-wing talk show hosts refer to as (cue theme music from "Psycho") the extreme agenda of San Francisco values, people all over the country are curious as to what exactly are these alarming values? Glad you asked. Pull up a chair, plop the kids in front of "CSI: Topeka" and let me tell you about Ms Pelosi and the den of iniquity she represents that serves as my home, the city named after Saint Francis of Assisi.

For those of you who can't wait to get Nancy Pelosi down on the ground to shave her head and expose her horns, I regret to inform you they aren't there. She's a kindly old grandma now, and although her smile does look like some fiend is twisting a knobby pole inserted up her butt, the ironic part is, in San Francisco, this supposedly frighteningly extreme liberal is considered a moderate and often is protested by leftist factions for planting herself too deep in the mainstream and selling out. And yeah, some of those factions also believe the same is true of Fidel.

The best way to analyze "The City," as we presumptively call ourselves, is to look to the movies. Like in "The Wizard of Oz," when Dorothy says, "we're not in Kansas anymore," that's our motto. Then, at the end of "Peter Pan," where Tinker Bell almost dies and the only thing that can save her is audience applause. Well, that's us too. We're not Kansas and we clap for fairies. So what? Big deal. Who cares?

San Francisco beliefs center on the rights of the individual. Our biggest moral flaw is we hate judgmental people, a bit of an internal fallacy, I'll admit. We go out of our way not to place restrictions on people or their actions or religions or appearances. When you think about it, what they're really afraid of is the freedoms the citizens of San Francisco enjoy. That's right, they hate us for our freedoms.


Irony of the Week: The latest Republican solution to the crisis in the Middle East

Oh, the irony!

The latest GOP solution to the war in Iraq. Rep. Robin Hayes (R-N.C.) was quoted in his hometown paper as saying that we must convert the Middle East to Christianity. With The President we have to listen to the garbled rhetoric of a twisted facist, but this little Republican is spewing the most ridiculous and unfathomable Kumbaya drivel imaginable. Do any of these monsters realize the seriousness of the situation this country is in, or the difficulties that are soldiers are going through?

Santa Claus can fix everything!

Holy crap! How many bowls of stupid did you eat this morning?Robin Hayes says we will win in Iraq by "spreading the message of Jesus Christ" there.

Robin Hayes has the solution to the Iraq war: have our soldiers convert all Muslims to Christianity.

Having won the election by only a hair’s width and almost getting himself kicked out of Congress seems to have had some profound psychological effects on poor Mr. Hayes. A speech that flip-floppin’ Robin gave last week at the Concord Rotary Club seems to prove he has finally gone off the deep end.

Our local weekly newspaper the "Concord Standard and Mount Pleasant Times" reported on Mr. Hayes speech in his hometown:

First there’s the usual talk of how we’re "winning" over there: "The war in Iraq has got to be won; it’s being won" (A couple of months ago Hayes said that the rise in violence in Iraq was an indication that we’re winning.)

Then comes the real kicker: "Stability in Iraq ultimately depends on spreading the message of Jesus Christ, the message of peace on earth, good will towards men. Everything depends on everyone learning about the birth of the Savior." BlueNC via Crooks and Liars

The things that immediately come to every readers mind is the similarity of Hayes' rhetoric to the rhetoric of the Crusades, and also the similarity to the quote made by Ann Coulter in her syndicated column;

"we should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." Ann Coulter


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12 Days of the War on Christmas (Fox Style)

12 Days of the War on Christmas (Fox Style) via betmo

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This what I got my sister for Christmas!

I am still looking for some illegal alien action figures that I can exploit to run the place.
I am still looking for some illegal alien action figures that I can exploit to run the place.


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On sale for the Holidays, the War on Christmas!

The true spirit of Christmas, just as God intendedThe true spirit of Christmas, just as God intended

Now that it is almost Christmas, we need to bow our heads in reflection of what is truly important this season: the War on Christmas!

All this "War on Christmas" nonsense was manufactured in 2004 by that sanctimonious hypocrite Bill O'Reilly to bump up ratings -- and maybe distract attention from that whole unfortunate sexual harassment/phone sex episode.

He and Sean Hannity teamed up to try to browbeat Macy's, Target, Wal-Mart and other retailers into shouting, "Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!" at their customers until everyone feels the love of Jesus deep in their eardrums.

More recently, they've been singling out retailers who trumpet "Holiday sales" rather than "Christmas sales" in advertisements.

Amusingly enough, last year O'Reilly and friends got busted red-handed selling "holiday" ornaments on the Fox News Web store. The blurb for one ornament even said, "Put your holiday tree in the 'No Spin Zone' with this silver glass 'O'Reilly Factor' ornament."

Whose side are you on, Bill?

I'll admit that I find it silly to refer to "holiday trees." However, those who pride themselves on being good Christians might realize that the Christmas tree is pagan in origin, and that the Bible criticizes the practice: "For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not..." -- Jeremiah 10:3-4.

[...] But the biggest reason many Christians like me can't get agitated about the so-called "War on Christmas" is that there is so little evidence that such a war is happening.

Christmas decorations started going up in the malls before Halloween, for heaven's sake.

I love my Pagan plastic Christmas tree, and the secular humanists can have it when they can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

People for the American Way's Right Wing Watch (RWW) is wondering if this conservative campaign is at least partly motivated by profit.

In a Wednesday post, RWW wrote: "Basic math says the Liberty Counsel has pulled in an estimated $300,000-plus, the Alliance Defense Fund an estimated $500,000-plus, and the American Family Association an estimated $600,000-plus from selling their 'War on Christmas' wares." Editor & Publisher

The author misses the point. If the church makes money from the War on Christmas, then the law of supply and demand proves that the War on Christmas is true! Jesus was the original sacred economist, just ask Donald Trump - he should know, God gave him lots of money!

President Eisenhower began sending out greeting cards with "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" in the 1950s. It was no big deal then. Why is it such a big deal now?

I think conservatives do this for a number of reasons. They have nothing else to talk about. They are pretty much wrong on each and every issue and problem facing America today. They have no solutions.

They got us into a bad situation in Iraq. They have created a huge federal budget deficit. Violent crime is up in America’s cities. They have no solutions regarding the spiraling costs of health care. They have no meaningful solutions regarding education.

Most sinister of all, I believe that conservative pundits do it for media ratings and for book sales.

The very people who tell us we are losing sight of the true meaning of Christmas are jumping on the commercialization of Christmas simply to make a buck during the Christmas season.

Merry Christmas to these hypocritical conservatives.

Oh, ye of little faith. If you read your scriptures carefully, you wuold know that the current problems are all the fault of the damned liberals secular humanists.

FNC will present a three hour primetime O’Reilly Factor Christmas Marathon beginning on Monday December 25th at 8PM EST. Inside Cable via Think Progress

It's scary enough that FAUX News wants to air Bill O'Reilly for THREE HOURS on CHRISTMAS. What's really scary is that there are actually people that are going watch it!

Unless you are just in from Mars, you can hardly have escaped noticing the nationwide campaign to eliminate all references to Christmas from the public square.

The upshot is that the battle is now out in the open. The loud complaints you hear in the media about the "theocons," the Religious Right, etc., are simply the view of the atheists and their allies... Leader Call

Theocons? What the heck is a Theocon? Do we really need a whole new vocabulary to fight the War on Christmas? I am still trying to figure out "culture warrior" and "secular humanist."

This is a War-on-Christmas-free zone. Also a War-on-War-on-Christmas-free zone. We'll have no truck with Hanukkah bashers, nor Kwanzaa kidders, nor Ramadan ridiculers. We're all for holidays here at TV Central. Christian, Mayan, Druid, bring it on. Faith is a fine and lovely thing, so much so that sometimes even TV manages to get it right.

Sometimes not, too. But maybe the real point of the holidays is to give the hate muscles a rare few days off. Forget the fact that eggnog is blucky, and mulled wine a kind of traffic accident between a spice truck and a tanker of Gallo. Come the end of December you raise your glass, wish everyone well and drink it in, happily.

Besides, we can resume our regularly scheduled hatred next week.

Muldar: 'I want to believe'

I suppose that if we turn off our hate muscles for even an instant, then we put Christmas at risk. If we let down our guard, the secular humanists will steal baby Jesus right out of the electrically-lit manger. Remember, this Christmas to use your hate muscles for Jesus!


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Thursday, December 21, 2006

Bush: "I know it's the wrong decision, but I'm gonna do it anyway!"

The imperialist knucklehead mcspazatron

President Bush acknowledged for the first time that the United States is not winning the war in Iraq. He is also stating that despite advice from just about everyone in the military, he is going to send more troops to Iraq.

Bush may not defer to brass on troop levels
WASHINGTON — The debate about sending more U.S. troops to Iraq intensified Wednesday as President Bush signaled that he will listen but not necessarily defer to balky military officers.

At an end-of-the-year news conference, Bush said he agrees with generals "that there's got to be a specific mission that can be accomplished" before he decides to dispatch an additional 15,000 to 30,000 troops to the war zone. But he declined to repeat his usual formulation that he will heed his commanders on the ground when it comes to troop levels.

Bush sought to use the 52-minute session, held in the ornate Indian Treaty Room in a building adjacent to the White House, to sum up what he called "a difficult year for our troops and the Iraqi people" and reassure the American public that "we enter this new year clear-eyed about the challenges in Iraq."

Asked about his comment to the Washington Post this week that the United States is neither winning nor losing the war, Bush pivoted forward. "Victory in Iraq is achievable," he said.

"he will listen but not necessarily defer to balky military officers." Balky? A person balks, they are not "balky." Bush may not defer to brass on troop levels

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Screw the whales, save the internet!

Save the Internet!

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Judie Brown: "Nancy Pelosi made baby Jesus cry"

Nancy Pelosi made baby Jesus cry

An anti-abortion group is lobbying a Washington, DC Catholic Church to stop Speaker of the House-designate Nancy Pelosi from attending mass, Raw Story has learned.

Rep. Pelosi, the California Democrat who will become the first woman to be Speaker of the House, is scheduled to attend mass at Washington, DC's Trinity College on January 3, 2007, the day before the 110th Congress opens. Trinity is an all-women's school from which Pelosi graduated in 1962.

But the American Life League wants Washington's Archbishop Donald Wuerl to "prevent [Pelosi] from using the Mass for political gain," and has called on him to deny Pelosi Holy Communion. ALL argued that "Rep. Pelosi has been unwavering in her support for abortion and is downright defiant toward the Church's teachings on the sanctity of human life," and added, "it is shameful that Trinity College, a supposedly Catholic institution, has turned a blind eye to the heretical views Pelosi embraces."

The American Life League has previously called on the Catholic Church in the United States to deny Holy Communion to other politicians who favor preserving abortion rights. During the 2004 presidential campaign, anti-abortion advocates also encouraged the Catholic Church to deny communion to Senator John Kerry (D-MA). Raw Story

That's rich. The American Life League wants to keep Pelosi from using her faith for political gain, so they use their faith to attempt to perform a little character assasination before the fact.

"One has to wonder what Archbishop Wuerl and Cardinal Keeler will do about this. Or will they see this as a political opportunity rather than an insult to the body and blood of Christ? We're watching and hoping that somehow this travesty is corrected prior to the January 4th date." Judie's Blog

Here is the link to the offending article that Judie is talking about in her blog.

Judie Brown: Nancy Pelosi made baby Jesus cry

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Attention Wal-Mart Bloggers!

Attention Wal-Mart Bloggers!

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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Cthulu Doesn't Take American Express Calls for Cthulu - I will swallow your soul
via No Smoking in the Skull Cave


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The Donald: "Miss USA not fired!" **media goes apeshit**


This press conference was just broadcast on every news channel - all television news coverage stopped for this story:

Tara Conner: You're Not Fired! Proclaims Donald Trump
Tara Conner didn't spend her 21st birthdaythe way she had previously anticipated. No, Tara Conner spent yesterday fearing the worst, especially after reportedly failing a drug test that almost sealed her fate.
Tara Conner, who hit the headlines after a string of wild antics in New York bars, learned of her fate today when the Miss USA pageant owner Donald Trump made his decision as to whether or not the Kentucky beauty should keep her crown.

You're Not Fired!

That was the edict handed down by Trump. However, Tara Conner will be going into rehab.

"I've always been a believer in second chances," Trump said at a news conference. He and Connor met earlier Tuesday morning.

Connor won the title in April and has been living in New York. Recent media accounts of
heavy drinking brought a firestorm of criticism, since she was underage at the time. Tittle-Tattle Too

This happened at the same time, but was not covered by the televison news:

Colorado soldier, 19, killed in bombing in Iraq
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. A Colorado soldier who'd been in Iraq about eight weeks has died of injuries suffered in a roadside bombing in Taji (TAH'-jee), Iraq.

Funeral arrangements are pending for 19-year-old Private First Class Seth Stanton. He was assigned to the 1st Cavalry Division based at Fort Hood, Texas.

The Pentagon has NOT released details of last week's incident, but his grandfather, Joe DeMello of Woodland Park, says Stanton was the commander of a patrol in Taji. KSWO

Sorry pal, you are just not important to the American media.

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Why democrats are evil

This is what Nancy pelosi will give her child for Christmas.
This is what Nancy Pelosi will give her child for Christmas this year.

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Download Pictures of Britney Spears Without Panties While Learning About Feminism!

The timing for an emergency congressional amendment to save the
Britney Spears/Kevin Federline marriage is growing critical!

(Why we must Save Britney's Marriage!)

Download Britney Spears Sex Video, the feminist way!
Feminists have taken up the cause to save Britney Spears' marriage!

Download Britney Spears Sex Video, the feminist way!Radical feminist bloggers have decided to use the popularity of internet keywords like "Britney Spears," and "Britney Spears' crotch" to link to sites like the National Organization for Women, according to

So if you click on a link to "Britney Spears Crotch Shots" you might end up at a site for a feminist organization. Despite the confusion that this might make for some earnest internet users, I say full speed ahead! Anything to save Britney's marriage to Fed-Ex!

Now I do have a couple of questions that come to mind regarding this issue. If you link porn to the National Organization for Women, isn't it possible that somebody might get the wrong idea about this organization?

Also, the person looking for pictures of Britney's no-no special place that they thwart might not be man. The person hunting for those 'special' photos of Britney Spears might even be a feminist. (Think about it.) Thus, misleading links may even confound people within feminist organizations.

But maybe their quest is to try to stop porn altogether, and not just frustrate the unenlightened. If this is the case, then the sheer volume of porn on the internet would make any task of this nature rather daunting, to say the least.

Internet Filter Review estimates that there are 4.2 million porn Web sites12 percent of the total amount of sites — allowing access to 72 million worldwide visitors annually. One-quarter of total daily search engine requests, or 68 million, are for pornographic material, where 40 million Americans are regular visitors.

Al Gore is vocal on the subjects of global warming and politics - but when it comes to boldface shenanigans, the former vice president's lips are sealed. Soledad O'Brien interviewed Gore at Time Warner's Conversation on the Circle event Tuesday night, but left out one pressing issue: Britney Spears' recent crotch shots. When Page Six later asked Gore if he thought Spears should wear underwear, he responded with a crimson blush and "No comment." Huffington Post's Rachel Sklar quipped, "Now that's an inconvenient truth!" via Wonkette

Cool Ranch Cheetos

The secret to saving the marriage of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline is an emergency congressional ammendment to create a new hybrid snack flavor, Cool Ranch Cheetos. Mr. Spears Federline loves Doritos, either regular or cool ranch flavored. Spears, on the other hand, is fond of Cheetos.

Save Britney's Marriage Links Save Britney's Marriage
AMERICAblog: Please support the Defense of Britney's Marriage Act
Zaius Nation: We must save Britney's marriage now--before it is too late!
Zaius Nation: Won't congress do something?

Feminists Can Download Their Free Britney Spears Crotch Shots Here!
Molly Good: Throw us a bone, Britney Britney Spears Panties and Pink Bra
The Superficial: Britney Spears at it again, this time with lace
M&C: Britney Spears booed at ball game
The Superficial: Paris Hilton is practically a nun Britney Spears Voted Worst Dog Owner
The Hollywood Gossip: Britney Spears Jeered By Crowd at Lakers Game, Wears See-Through "dress"to Dinner With Mom Belching Britney Spears Is Most Viewed Video Britney Spears Burping Video Definition: no-no+special+place

Lindsay Lohan's Crotch Takes The Heat Off of Poor Britney Just how Lo can lazy Lindsay go? Lindsay Lohan doesn't wear panties [ fake ]
The Superficial: Lindsay Lohan's vagina gets busted [ 1, 2 ]
The Superficial: Lindsay Lohan shows off her very shaved vagina again [ 2 ]

The Saga of the Lack of Panties Lives On Britney Spears Hates Panties: Show It Baby, One More Time!
National Ledger: Britney Spears Without Paris Hilton, Without Panties: Yes, Again
MSNBC: Brit's bits: Pop star caught without panties Britney -- Hit Me With Your Best Shot Britney Buys Panties!
National Ledger: Britney Spears No Panties Tour Making Fed-Ex Look Good Britney Spears Is A Mess, Photographed Without Panties Hey Britney, Wake Up! You're Rich! And a Mom! that mystery in your panties

For all of the latest, important updates about Britney Spears lack of panties:
the official FOX News Britney Spears Celebrity Panties No Panties Center

Download Pictures of Britney Spears Without Panties While Learning About Feminism


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Monday, December 18, 2006

Shh! The imperialist knucklehead mcspazatron is getting sleepy...

No worries.

"I must tell you, I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume." - George W. Bush
ABC News, Huffington Post

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Laura Bush: Media's Drum Beat About Iraq Will Not Go Unpunished!

The left wing media is telling you lies! Iraq is made out rainbows and cotton candy!

Laura Bush has pointed out in recent interviews for the dreaded Main Stream Media that Iraq is being wrongly maligned by reporters. "The left wing media is telling you lies! Iraq is made out rainbows and cotton candy!"

Mrs. Bush then went on to say that she hopes for "more officially sanctioned balanced coverage in the future." wants to make sure that Brian Williams does not conflate his sources of information about violence in Iraq, and how dare you speak that way to the the First Lady:

"On Thursday’s NBC Nightly News, anchor Brian Williams highlighted how, earlier in the day, First Lady Laura Bush 'placed the blame squarely on the news media' for why so few support the President on Iraq. But instead of addressing her contention about how 'there are a lot of good things that are happening that aren't covered and I think the drumbeat in the country from the discouraging' as she hoped for 'more balanced coverage' in the future, Williams applied a non sequitur to dismiss her assessment of the news media. He noted how 'the recent report from the Iraq Study Group, however, specifically found that there has been significant under-reporting of the violence in Iraq.' But that’s about the accuracy of U.S. military data collection and categorization, not the accuracy of news media coverage of the situation in Iraq."

If the present plan of hiding behind his wife does not work out, President Bush has vowed to hide behind orphans and invalids.


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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Osama Bin Neocon

I found this on Newt Gingrich's website in the comments section.

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It's a pirate's life for me

(Special mouseover Pirate Zaius edition)

I have just recently been made the official "sawbones" over at Cap’n Dyke's blog. The temporal implications of an an orangutang from the future serving on a human pirate ship aside, I look forward to shivering my timbers and buckling my swashes aboard the good captain's ship.

To learn to speak pirate, you must study hard and drink deep from the well of pirate knowledge.

Talk Like a Pirate: Pirate Translator How To Be Speakin' Pirate-Like Pirate Glossary Talk like a Pirate Talk Like a Pirate Day
Pirate Zaius Image that was not used

In this example we see the words of the president rendered delicately into pirate speak:

The doofus pirate speaks: "T' Battle o' Iraq be one victory in a war on terror that began on September t' 11th, 2001, and still goes on. That terrible mornin', 19 evil men — t' shock troops o' a hateful ideology — gave America and t' civilized world a glimpse o' their ambitions. They imagined, in t' words o' one terrorist, that September t' 11th would be t' "beginnin' o' t' end o' America." 'Mission Accomplished' speech, May 1, 2003

As you can see in this example, the false conflation between 911 and the war in Iraq remains entirely intact, despite the translation into pirate speak. Such are the delicate and subtle charms of the Buccaneer language.

ARRR! Now hurry on over to the good captain's ship, ye scurvy dog!

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Why journalists are no fun at Christmas parties

COULTER: 'He probably just has indigestion.'Ann Coulter

After the initial feeding frenzy by the media regarding the sudden illness of Sen. Tim Johnson (D-SD), there have been a few really tasteless moments, with the media hovering somewhere between merely crude and reprehensible. I can only hope that I fall into the latter catagory.

The Huffington Post ran an opinion piece that raised a few hackles called "Did You Know that Dick Cheney is Praying For Tim Johnson?" (Ha! As if the Cheneymeister prays for anything but money and a new heart bypass.)

News Hounds caught FAUX News dancing on Johnson's grave in piece called "Fred Barnes' Ghoulish Speculation About Tim Johnson."

Over on the other side of the potato, wrote two different articles about the media coverage of Johnson's sudden illness. It would seem that in News Busters scientific opinion the coverage started out as "disgraceful" and degraded quickly to utterly disgraceful. News Busters focused heavily on a MSNBC piece that they felt made Republicans look uncaring and callous. (Too late! the damage is already done that category.)

Ann Coulter had some fun remarks, but she was not in fact the winner (loser?) of the week's morally destitute media shenanigans of doom.

Proving my original theory correct, On the December 13th broadcast of Newsradio 850 KOA's "The Jon Caldara (Jon Who?) Show," the host let slip the actual facts of the matter regarding the murder of Johnson:

CALDARA: "The kind of radiation poisoning that we gave to the senator that caused him to collapse, you know, it takes a long time to take effect." [Coulter laughs] "We saw that in the U.K. And it's going to take, it's going to take some time before -- before we finish this mission." Media Matters

So now the cat is out of the bag, we now know what is really going on over in the senate. It was John McCain in the library with the candlestick Polonium-210.

Caldera's (Who is this Caldera guy?) guest, Ann Coulter, said that Sen. Tim Johnson was faking his illness, and probably just has gas.

COULTER: "He probably just has indigestion." Media Matters

Obviously Coulter is merely playing a ruse to cover the GOP's tracks in this matter. In being purposefully flippant regarding Johnson, Coulter was attempting ing to steal the thunder out from under the heartless minions of the mainstream media by being the most crass and insensitive person reporting on the matter. Nice try Ann, but this week's honors go to another dirtbag more clever reprehensible than you.

Though Coulter is usually the hands down winner in this category, so far the winner of most ghoulish and disgraceful this week goes to John W. Lillpop and his December 16th commentary titled "Senator Tim Johnson: Another Brain-Dead Liberal?" Lillpop uses the near-fatal illness of Johnson to point out his theory that most democrats are brain dead, in his opinion.

Now that's journalism! The opportunity presented by Johnson's illness is the perfect time to make heartless remarks, but Mr. Lillpop has really taken the inititiative and gone then extra mile. I couldn't sink that low on my best day! Anne Coulter, bow to your new sensai:
John W. Lillpop. Senator Tim Johnson: Another Brain-Dead Liberal? Utterly Disgraceful Eleanor Clift Column Regarding Sen. Johnson Disgraceful Media Coverage of Sen. Tim Johnson’s Medical Condition
MSNBC: Balance of Power Utterly Disgraceful Eleanor Clift Column Regarding Sen. Johnson
News Hounds: Fred Barnes' Ghoulish Speculation About Tim Johnson
Huffington Post: Did You Know that Dick Cheney is Praying For Tim Johnson?
Media Matters: Sick jokes: Coulter, Caldara laughed about Sen. Johnson's illness the night he was stricken

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