Archie's Intelligent Design Adventure

 

As Easter is around the corner, I am rerunning one of my favorite Zaius Nation Easter stories:
"Archie's Intelligent Design Adventure".

 

Blog Against Theocracy is This Weekend!

 

I have assigned my army of virtuous, god-fearing marshmallow theologians to remind you that Blue Gal's upcoming blogswarm Blog Against Theocracy is this Easter Weekend, April 11-12! This is a subject that is truly close to my heart. As both the Minister of Science and the Chief Defender of the Faith of Ape City, I'm all about theocracy, baby!

Hallelujah! Wearing the officially sanctified royal purple dye #2 sugar coating, these pious Peeps are filled with sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, and the rich creamy goodness of the Almighty, Omnipotent Marshmallow Filling! All hail their Holy Peepness! Hallowed be the joyous delight of their divine confectionery squishyness.

 

"Hitler gave great speeches too" T-Shirts

 

I was a bit surprised to find that T-Shirts with the phrase, "Hitler gave great speeches too" were selling well at gun shows and other venues. I guess that Democrats should be flattered, as this would put President Obama in the same league as other great orators, such as Abraham Lincoln, Sir Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King, William Jenning Bryan, Marcus Tullius Cicero, and Plato.

Upon reflection, I decided that an equally flattering comparison could be made about the former President Bush...

But I decided that this was probably far more appropriate.

 

Monster Bop!

 

I've been listening to this all morning...

Monster Bop!
Track List
Rockin' In The Graveyard	Jackie Morningstar
Were Wolf	Carl Bonafede
Caveman Hop	Jerry Coulston
The Cat	Rod Willis
Midnight Monsters Hop	Jack And Jim
Nightmare	Scottie Stuart
Graveyard	Leroy Bowman
The Skeleton Fight	Mack Allen Smith
The Monster Hop	Jimmy Dee
Story That's True	Carl Bonafede
The Gorilla	Bert Convy
Leopard Man	Joe Wallace
Nightmare Hop	Earl Patterson
The Monster	Bobby Please
Graveyard	The Phantom Five
Caveman	Tommy Roe
Mad House Jump	The Daylighters
Jekyll And Hyde	Jim Burgett
Haunted House	Cris Kevin
The Head Hunters	Mike Fern
I'm The Wolf Man	Round Robin
Frankenstein's Den	Hollywood Flames
The Monster Hop	Bert Convy
Don't Meet Mr. Frankenstein	Carlos Casal, Jr.
I Was A Teenage Monster	The Keytones
You Can Get Him Frankenstein	The Castle Kings
The Gila Monster	Joe Johnson
Frankenstein Rock	Eddie Thomas
I Was A Teen-Age Cave Man	Randy Luck
Frankie Frankenstein	Ivan
Free Rockabilly Music

 

There is No Fool Like an April Fool (With Sprinkles!)

 

After enduring criticism from Democrats and the media over their Giant Steaming Pile of Budget Blueprints last week, Rep. Paul Ryan and the House Republicans released their official alternative to President Obama's $3.6 trillion budget on Wednesday, April Fool's Day.

This budget is not like the Republican "trickle-down-economics" budgets from the past...

This is a brand new "trickle-down-economics" budget - with sprinkles!

The House GOP members know that they must stop President Obama and his communist scheme to save the economy that the Republicans destroyed. Time is of the essence! Now is the time to implement the important tax cuts that will feed and educate American's children, fight those nasty old terrorists, and keep America strong!

Taking a cue from the greatest president ever, Herbert Hoover, the new House GOP budget (with sprinkles!) will freeze all discretionary spending for the next five years and rescind the evil stimulus bill. Just like valient efforts of President Hoover, the new House GOP budget will prevent the looming economic depression and save the day! Let the invisible hand of the marketplace prevail on the most deserving, just as God intended.

Under the gentle and caring regulations of the new House GOP "flat tax" budget the least deserving, laziest low-income families would pay more in taxes. (Over a fourth of taxpayers, that is.) while the most deserving, hardest working and wealthiest one percent of taxpayers would pay an average of $100,000 less in taxes. This new GOP budget has more tax-cuts for-the-rich than George Bush's old tax-cuts for-the-rich ever did!

Not to be outdone by the financial inspiration of the house Republicans, economic intellectual Sen. John McCain [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ] has unveiled his own GOP budget alternative...

The main difference between the budget that McCain cooked up and the House GOP budget is that McCain's budget is gooshier! (But sadly, no sprinkles.)

 

Keith Olbermann and the Sprinkles on the House GOP Budget

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy being interviewed by the mainstream media. (Jeepers! Is that thing a microphone, or are you just happy to see me?) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of Keith Olbermann talking about the sprinkles on the House GOP budget. (Aired 04/01/09). I think that this video is proof positive that Olbermann reads my blog! (This turn of events is certainly a change... I am usually the one stealing jokes from him, not the other way around!)

 

The Big News to Come Out of the G20 Summit

 

The big news to come out of the G20 summit in London was that President Barack Obama and President Dmitry Medvedev released a joint statement promising a new arms reduction treaty by the end of the year! Yay!

And of course the mainstream media spared no time in unleashing their foreign policy experts to focus on the important ramifications of this event, and how it will affect world peace...

**sigh**