Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Sunday, June 25, 2006

"I did not break the law. I AM THE LAW!"

Of course not. I remind them: I AM the law! --Attorney General Alberto Gonzales


"Of course not. I remind them: I AM the law!" --Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, denying to Washington Post reporter Frank Ahrens that his two children ever download music illegally, after his address yesterday to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce on intellectual property theft. [ washingtonpost.com ]

Judge Dredd: 'I did not break the law. I AM THE LAW!'



Links
Murder By Sausage
3-Year-Old's Birthday Party Theme: 'NewsHour'
Nun Bun stolen, owner reports
Dell laptop explodes at Japanese conference
Senate deals blow to Net neutrality
GOP candidate's call for labor camp rebuked
Americans' circle of close friends shrinking
Yahoo Health: Hmmm.
Email to Jack Cafferty
Is Right-Wing America Becoming Fascist?
Timeline Fascism
The War They Wanted, The Lies They Needed

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Interview with Jitendra Tewari, Ph.D.

Q: What do you think will be the long-term effect of our current international trade imbalance?

Jitendra Tewari, Ph.D.A: The long-term effects of the current international trade imbalance are not going to be very good because firstly I don't foresee a correction of that trade imbalance. There are a number of factors for this. Firstly, countries like China and India are emerging very competitively in the manufacturing sector. Secondly, these same countries and similar countries are also emerging as competitors in the services sector, particularly because some of these countries have a tremendous storehouse of intellectual capitol.

Further, if you look at the movement and development of technology, the development of technology is largely based on the location of manufacture. if your production facility is not going to be located in your own country, you cannot expect further technological innovations to take place in your own country.



Q: What do you think of the American trade deficit with China in particular? With China emerging as the only challenger to America as a world power, what can the history of our relations with China teach us about our future relations as trading partners?

A: As far as China is concerned, there is recognition of the fact that a large part of the surplus that the Chinese achieve in the balance of trade is because of artificially set exchange rate. Their exchange rate is not determined by the free market, otherwise China would never be as competitive as it is were the exchange rate to reach its real value, and this has sort of been accepted. The point is every time we put pressure on China, and they do make a corresponding revision of the exchange rate, it is only too late and too little, so we are always suffering a disadvantage at their hands because they have a controlled exchange rate.

The other point of course is a political point. From one perspective, China has always been the USA's major military antagonist. After the First World War, we had the Korean War, where it was the Chinese and the soviets who were backing up the north Korean regime. Subsequently in Viet Nam, again it was Chinese guerilla warfare. At the same time we had the Chinese over in Tibet, today they are fomenting trouble in Nepal, so the communist outward push, or the Chinese outward push has really taken place right since the Second World War. So, at some level there has to be a recognition that there is a conflict of interest between the USA and China.

Now what we are trying to do is cover up that conflict by buying the Chinese over into the capitalist system. We are trying to make them part of the capitalist system, make them flush with funds, they are happy with their earnings, hoping that repression will come to an end in China. This might or might not work, as far as my personal views are concerned. Possible the United States of America has always had the option to partner with world democracies rather that communist china. And now the situation becomes more complicated with the Chinese acquiring a certain amount of negotiating power, being major lenders tot he united states, covering up their deficits.

Q: Why is there a current shift in recording history in terms of economics?

A: Historically, when we look at wars that have taken place, they are about taking over territory; bring area under control, and of course getting revenues from them. This process was very simple, historically. Now what has happened is that there is a complexity in the field of economics with the manner in which capitol flows take place between countries, the manner in which exchange rates change, the relative positions of countries, there is a complexity to the way labor movements are taking place across countries, and the fact that work can also move across borders - either electronically or by physical movement of labor. So there is a lot of complexity in what was earlier very simple. Fortunately or unfortunately, this complexity is best understood by economists. the domination and the growth of nations is largely dependent on hw their economies do, because aggression by itself has sort of taken a back seat. Aggression is normally in the form of economic growth and economic ascendancy. So, it's quite natural that if history is to be written in the future it will be written by people who understand these aspects of world developments.



Q: Are you concerned about the recent trends in corporate control of our national policy?

A: Well, there is absolutely no doubt that a certain amount of growth is taking place. A certain amount of growth is also taking place because American countries are expanding abroad. Money earned in other countries does come back to the USA. On the other hand, lets understand what happens to the investment. If American companies invest in china, its the Chinese who are getting the jobs, not the Americans. Even if there is a repatriation of dividends and income, which leads to an overall increase in American income, you've got to understand, where does this income go? What is the form of the income? The form of the income is dividends, dividends go to shareholders, so who are the shareholders? as long as the average shareholder belong to the higher income brackets, this form of international growth is benefiting only those who are already rich.

There is a conflict of interest over here, because as far as the corporation is concerned, the corporation never sees national boundaries of any sort. The corporation is interested in improving share value, capitol value for its shareholders - and in growing itself. These gains do not necessarily percolate down to what we call the American middle class.

In a lot of cases we have companies which have a succession of years where they don't pay high taxes, and very often this is because companies are buying loss companies in other countries. There is set off of profits and tax saving thereby.



Q: What can you tell me about India as a nuclear power? President Bush recently made
Agreements with India to trade nuclear technology. How will this affect India's neighbors?


A: Bush went to India and made an agreement about the sharing of technology. In fact, Bush in his speech commended India for its record of non-proliferation. India has never claimed to not have nuclear technology. They have always claimed that they have nuclear technology.

Q: But doesn't that (agreements between the USA and India to trade nuclear technology) change the dynamic between India and Pakistan?

A: As far as the dynamic between India and Pakistan is concerned, India has China on one border, and China has been aggressive. We have Pakistan on the other border, and Pakistan has started three wars, that is on record. So obviously India regards nuclear power as a deterrent, and that's the standpoint that they take.

The standpoint that India takes is that they will not export nuclear technology to any country, which is very unlike what Pakistan has done - either covertly or overtly, or by the malpractice of some citizen of Pakistan. The North Korean technology is from Pakistan, partly. North Korea received nuclear detonation technology from Pakistan, North Korea gave Pakistan the missile technology. So it is a really interesting nexus over there. Again, the Pakistan development of nuclear technology is also referred to as the Islamic bomb. The development of nuclear technology in Pakistan is viewed by a large part of the Islamic nations as an Islamic show of force or center of power. Now, that is something to be thought about very carefully, because there is a religious basis and connotation to nuclear power in Pakistan.

[...]

India has a nuclear threat (China, Pakistan), India has a stable democracy, there has never been a problem in that democracy, there has never been a military ruler in power, and India has never attacked any country. [...] India has always been in a defensive position.



Q: Despite record deficits, America keeps cutting taxes to wealthy. What effect does this have on the economy in the long term?

A: Well, what is there to say? They just represent the interests of a certain group which is in power. Obviously they are not going to work.

Q: They call it the trickle down effect, Voodoo Economics, etc....

A: Yes, we are all waiting for a trickle down. The point at which we are is very late and at this point what needs to be done is something at the grassroots level. Whom do you have to wait for to change healthcare laws, which are (unintelligible) against the poorer people? Who is going to assist those people who are not insured? [...] I am not talking in terms of Democrats or Republicans, I am talking about issues. Here is an issue that needs to be tackled - healthcare.



Q: It is said that America is moving away from a manufacturing economy to a service economy. What does that mean exactly?

A: The service economy has a lot of disadvantages to it. The service economy creates a polarization of two types of jobs. You have the knowledge-based jobs in the services economy, such as doctors and financial analysts. What is going to happen is that a lot of these functions are going to shift abroad. For example, major financial companies in the USA now have most the statistical analysis and brainwork done in countries like India and china. So what's left? What's left in the USA is a process of marketing, very often telemarketing, and you have the services industry paying a very low average wage to people within the United States of America.

If you look at the service industry, one of the major wings of the service industry is the food industry. And you know what has happened to the food industry, the restaurant industry, you've got a form of standardization which has led to that concept of the "Macwage" or MacJob." And that job is really that $7 an hour job that we are talking about. That typifies the service industry. If you look at the retail industry, that has a very low average wage. If you look at the largest employer in the USA, it is Wal-Mart. The average Wal-Mart worker is not earning a lot of money. So we are talking about a decline in wages because of the service economy.



Q: With job growth as compared to population growth at negative 7 million, why are the numbers for unemployment so low?

A: Honestly speaking, I am not very familiar with the exact data, but there are certain trends which are very obvious to me. One basic trend, and this has sort of been brought out in the last few years, is that Americans are working longer hours. When I look at that, and try to understand it, i see that as arising from a particular situation. A lot of Americans have lost their middle-income jobs. A lot of these middle income earners lost middle management jobs dues to what was known as re-engineering, downsizing, slow job growth, and ended up with jobs that were paying them much less. When they were working at jobs that were paying them much less, what's really happening?

Firstly, some people regard this as a form of disguised unemployment. People are not employed at their level of capability. This is a form of disguised unemployment. The second aspect of this is that people who have entered into jobs which are paying less than jobs that paid them formerly are forced to take up second jobs, so that they somehow try to reach back the same total income. This phenomena sort of explains how Americans and why Americans are working longer hours.

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Compare and Contrast

Democrats Gain Five Points in U.S. Race - June 18, 2006

 

Jun. 2006

May 2006

Mar. 2006

Democrat

46%

41%

48%

Republican

33%

38%

34%

Other / Not sure

20%

21%

18%

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

"I love you more than..."

Sarah Silverman: "I love you more than..."


Lyrics to A Love Song: I love you more than...

I love you more than bears love honey.
I love you more than Jews love money.
I love you more than Asians are good at math.
I love you even if it’s not hip.
I love you more than black people don’t tip.
I love you like Gary Busey.
I love you more than dykes love pussy.
I love you more than my after-show monster bong hit
But maybe it's Patty Hearst siding with her kidnappers
Maybe it's South African miners killing, diamond wearing gangster rappers
Maybe it's like when Black guys calling each other niggers.

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Monday, May 29, 2006

Never under-estimate the power of stupid people in large groups

2006 Senate Races

Connecticut Senate
Joe Lieberman (D) 59% Paul Streitz (R) 23%
(However, Lieberman faces a stiff challenge from within his own party.)

Florida Senate
Nelson (D) 60% Harris (R) 33%

Maryland Senate
Steele (R) Trails Cardin and Mfume
Ben Cardin (D) 45% Michael Steele (R) 35%
Kweisi Mfume (D) 42% Michael Steele (R) 38%

Missouri Senate
Talent 43% McCaskill 40%

Montana Senate
Burns Trails Both Democrats
Jon Tester (D) 48% Conrad Burns (R) 44%
John Morrison (D) 49% Conrad Burns (R) 45%

Nebraska Senate
Nelson (D) by 19
Ben Nelson (D) 54% Pete Ricketts (R) 35%

New Jersey Senate
Kean (R) 40% Menendez (D) 37%

Ohio Senate
Brown (D) 44% DeWine (R) 41%

Rhode Island
GOP Incumbents Struggle in Blue State
Lincoln Chafee (R) 44% Sheldon Whitehouse (D) 41%

Tennessee Senate
Ford (D) Trails Three Republicans
In the competitive race to fill the Senate seat of departing Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R), likely Democratic nominee Harold Ford continues to trail all three potential Republican opponents.

Virginia Senate
George Allen (R) 51% Harris Miller (D) 34%

Washington Senate
Cantwell (D) 46% McGavick (R) 41%

West Virginia Senate
Byrd (D) 57% Raese (R) 34%

From the look of things, it might be a good time to invest in Diebold.




"Unable to Govern."

[ View larger ]

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Saturday, May 27, 2006

Next Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day

Douglas Feith has settled into his new position as a college professor. the syllabus for his first class can be found here. Now that Feith is gone, it is heartening to see that the administration continues to hire from a pool of the best and and brightest.

Fun With SUVs!
Exposing Anti-Choice Abortion Clinics
Top 10 Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State
Who speaks American here? [ 2 ]
Alice Santorum doesn't live here anymore
What went wrong with Fannie Mae?
The Happiness Formula
Orgasm Blows The Mind - literally
SNL Archives
Comparative Massacres
The 25 Worst Tech Products of All Time
Multinational oil companies: a figment of Al Gore's imagination
Bush Falling Approval Rating
Great quote
Apes Shown to Be Able to Plan Ahead
Squid [ 2 ]
Borderline Insanity
Easter Reflections on Tom Delay
Number of US Inmates Rises Two Percent
Exxon-Backed Pundit Compares Gore To Nazi Propagandist
Another Bill O'Reilly Boycott
Gitmo full of who, exactly? [ 2 ]
Rice cooking the books
Why George W. Bush's regime is Anti-American
Tom DeLay = Christ
Socialists: Give apes human rights
Get your stinking hands off me, you damn dirty socialist!
Top Ten Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State
Mo. Town Denies Unmarried Couple Permit
SOTU: Bush Job Growth Lowest Since WWII
Worst President in US history?
that time i caught a big fish on my ranch
The National Health
Why people are so dissatisfied with today's economy
Bush's Job Creation Record Worst of Last 40 Years (Still)
Jobs News Even Worse Than We Thought
George W. Bush: The Decider in Chief
Benzene Levels in Soft Drinks Above Limit


10 Things I Hate About Commandments

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Monday, May 15, 2006

The Trojan Piñata

Bush has a new song about immigration. Remember how he felt about it back in Febuary?

Neither does the media.

Remember how Bush felt about immigration back in 2001?

The media doesn't remember that either.





"Are Democrats poised to re-take Congress in 2006? Jokes on them. By November, there won't be a Congress." --Stephen Colbert


President Bush Impersonation - 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner
Stick Love
Bush and Blair Song
Dildo Song
Internet Help Desk
Pink Car vs. Tank
The State of the Union You Didn't Hear
Extreme Skate Jump
Sexual Harassment
Spelling Bee Faint
Pool Fall
Tobacco Industry Apology


Sleepy head Cat
Funny cats - Miau Miau Miau
Cat massage
Karate Cat
Taped Cat
Monkey teases Dog
Funny monkey in the zoo


A Student's Guide To University Chapter 1
Star Wars Whores
Live News mistakes

updocfilms.com
clocktopia.com

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

A closed mouth gathers no foot

David Armand's visual interpretation of
Natalie Imbruglia song, "Torn"


[ View larger ]


Natalie Imbruglia › Torn

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore

I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
[ youtube ]

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Saturday, May 06, 2006

Hoover days are here again!

A visit form the Hoover Fairy.The fleecing of the American public begins with corporate assistance and a deviously manipulated economy. The rich get richer, and the poor inherit the shaft. Jobs are disappearing in America at an alarming rate, but who needs a job when Bush is handing out President Hoover party favors?

Just look at the facts. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 1,054,000 new jobs were created from January 2001 through January 2006. For the economy to keep pace with the growth of the population, we should be adding 150,000 new jobs a month. The figure of 1,054,000 new jobs created is 7,057,000 jobs short of keeping up with population growth. Job growth numbers for February, March and April add 124,000 jobs, so the figure is now 6,979,000 jobs behind population growth.

So why aren't the newspapers talking about this? All of the newspapers [ 1, 2, 3 ] say that April, 2006's downturn in job growth (138,000 new jobs - 150,000 jobs needed to keep up with population = a net loss of 12,000 jobs) is offset by a gain in overall wages. But wages are not keeping with inflation in the first place! Any positive numbers in that regard are only too little too late. [ 1, 2, 3 ]. The media is telling you that the good news is that your wages are dwindling at slower rate than the jobs that are not being created this month (or for the last five years).

It's like they are talking about the relative speed of two ships heading straight for the same iceberg - one ship has slowed a little, and the other has picked up speed. For some reason the media has decided to concentrate on the relative speed of the crafts, and are have forgotten about the looming iceberg completely.

The groupthink machevellian lie that these news stories tell is that the stories are not really about job growth and wages at all, despite their titles and introductory paragraphs. The media is instead concentrating on how these numbers will affect Wall Street, and turns a blind eye to the glaring reality of the number of jobs lost and the impact this will have on the nation. Instead of any real analysis the stories furtively gives you the numbers before spouting hit-and-miss Wall Street euphemisms about interest rates and the Dow Jones industrial average, and makes no attempt to explain how historically awful these numbers are, nor do they give any indication of just how dangerous this situation is for the average worker.

All is not lost, though...Bush has a plan! $70 Billion worth of additional tax cuts! How do you improve on an evil plan to soak the poor and pay the rich? Steal more money!

How do you improve on an evil plan to soak the poor and pay the rich? Steal more money!

Articles
Bushville - Coming to a city near you! [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Students protest McCain at New York college
Porter Goss = M.C. Hammer [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Just because Nazis did, it doesn't make it bad
Selling America [ 2 ]
Sow Poverty and despair, Reap Anger and Nationalism
Watergate Hotel subpoenaed in Wilkes/Cunningham Hookergate investigation.
Beer, bikinis, Baghdad?
US survey shows autism very common
Job growth: Weakest since Katrina
New Internet Wiretap Rules: "You can't rule the world!" [ 2

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Friday, May 05, 2006

Reality has a known liberal bias

Colbert Does the White House Correspondents' dinner."I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

wikipedia: Colbert at the 2006 White House Correspondents Association Dinner
Colbert on You Tube [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] DEAD LINK!
Colbert on crooksandliars.com DEAD LINK!
Colbert on 60 Minutes

CSPAN asked two Internet video providers, YouTube and IFILM, to pull clips of Stephen Colbert's April 29 performance at the White House Correspondents Association dinner from their Web sites.

The One of the last good links to the performance.
Full Transcript of the performance.

colbertnation.com





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Gossip needs no carriage

"Mission Accomplished" was three years ago, Monday 4/30.

Their dreams and desires are manufactured and controlled at such an early age that they lack a a clear sense of authentic experience. "President Bush said this week to help with gas prices he will temporarily ease environmental regulations. Great. Not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either." --Jay Leno

Thank God & Jesus that George W. Bush doesn't have an oil addiction problem.
- Grant Gerver

Rope. Tree. Jounalist. Some assembly required.

Articles
Stephen Colbert rips Bush at Correspondent's Dinner
Video: Stephen Colbert at Correspondent's Dinner
US Says It Fears Detainee Abuse in Repatriation
US gov. concedes that our troops are the "cause" of terrorism
Iraq War = $439 Billion
18 rich families pay for campaign to kill estate taxes
Israel moving into a "more proactive position"
Bush wants to prosecute reporters as spies
House passes "Iran Freedom Support Act"
How dumb does Big Oil think you are?
American Coup D'Etat
Sen. Ron Wyden's plan to end subsidies of energy companies
I Smell Gas (A subject that makes congressmen stupid.)
US Nuclear Industry Fires Up PR Campaign
White House policy: all gov. TVs have to be tuned to Fox [ 2 ]
Thieves in the White House 4/29
furisdead.com

**National Strategy for Victory in Iraq

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Why do you vex us so?

Scott McLellan just wants more spend more time being sweaty and uncomfortable in front of his family.

Tony Snow: his job will change from lying through the press to lying to the press.

Articles
FBI Sought Info Without Court OK

Now for an important message from our sponsor...
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Went to Iraq, caught lotsa flack,
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They're a threat to me and you, there's nothin' left to do,
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Troops will have to see, a tour of duty 3,
They may get the shaft and you know we'll have to draft,
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They got the nukes you know it's true, there's nothin' left to do,
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Bombed Afghanistan, but gave up the Taliban,
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To Bomb Iran! Bomb Bomb, Bomb... Let's Bomb Iran!
You're a commie if you doubt and my time is running out,
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Videos
Colbert shakes up Bill Kristol over PNAC ties
The Huffington Post Contagious Festival
campusmoviefest.com
mydailyfunnies.com
Oscar goes wild
Angelina Jolie Videos [ 1 ] [ 2 ]
Puppy vs. kitty
Kirk Cameron lets his faith get in your way
Don Knotts is "Dubya"
Bush imagines
Your body, your government
Restaurant ad
The Forest in Winter**
The Easter Bunny Hates you
Oprah: Bad schools, dumb kids
Mick Jagger 1964 ad for Rice Krispies
Japanese Ad
leash on a cat

Video editing Software
video-editing-software-review.toptenreviews.com
powerdirector
google.com/video+editing+software+reviews
wikipedia.org/video_editing_software

Just about anything would taste good fried and covered in a sugar glaze.

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The cheese stands alone.

I'm the Decider, Koo-Koo-Kachoo...
Protesters force Bush to move Stanford meeting
The Only Campaign Ad The Democrats Should Need

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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

ddd

New Survey USA Senate Numbers
by mcjoan
Fri Apr 21, 2006 at 07:57:48 AM PDT
(Bumped because these numbers are nothing short of dramatic, from our top Republican targets, to Bush's favorite Democrat himself -- kos.)

This month's SUSA Senate polling features some fun facts. For instance, did you know who has the highest ratings among the U.S. Senate? That would be Ben Nelson, at 73% approval. Actually, this is something that should strike a tiny bit of terror in the hearts of Republicans everywhere. Seven out of the 10 most popular Senators are Democrats. What's more, the other three are Collins, Snowe, and Jeffords. Out of the top 20 most popular Senators, 13 are Democrats.

Among those races of particular interest to us, seven GOP Senators running for reelection this year are below 50%: Kyl (45%), Burns (39%), Santorum (39%), Talent (48%), DeWine (48%), and Ensign at 49%. And only two Senators have disapproval ratings over 50% - Conrad Burns and Rick Santorum. Both Burns and Santorum have net negative approval ratings in the double digits. Santorum's net approval rating fell nine points to negative 14, the highest net disapproval rating of all 100 senators. In the last month, Kyl's disapproval rating jumped from 36% to 42%. Talent's net approval rating fell from 13 to just 5 points, with 43% of Missourians expressing their disappointment with their Senator.

-------------------------------------------------

Gross
giant centipede eating a mouse
Anaconda Regurgitates a Hippo

Articles
Adidas hit over 'racist' trainer
An Early Look at Eric Boehlert's "Lapdogs" of the Press

Odd Personals
actforlove.org
thestranger/Personals

Blogs, Videos, etc.
theyoungturks.com
Pink - Dear Mr President - Live
my idiot boyfriend Jimmy

Daria
Daria Encyclopedia 0.0
Daria quotefest
people.musc.edu/~adelmaas/Dariana/
angelfire.com/ut/Daria

Bob Dylan Video
Subterranean Homesick Blues

Title="Subterranean Homesick Blues
Johnny's in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I'm on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend
The man in the coon-skin cap
In the big pen
Wants eleven dollar bills
You only got ten

Maggie comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Plants in the bed but
The phone's tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D. A.
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
Walk on your tip toes
Don't try "No Doz"
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose
Keep a clean nose
Watch the plain clothes
You don't need a weather man
To know which way the wind blows

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring bell, hard to tell
If anything is goin' to sell
Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army, if you fail
Look out kid
You're gonna get hit
But users, cheaters
Six-time losers
Hang around the theaters
Girl by the whirlpool
Lookin' for a new fool
Don't follow leaders
Watch the parkin' meters

Ah get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success
Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
Twenty years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift
Look out kid
They keep it all hid
Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles

Copyright 1965; renewed 1993 Special Rider Music

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