Patience Hodgson is Mirth Personified

I recently wrote a post about Sandra Lou and her yummilicious bubblegum pop hit "Banana Split". and about how music today is just not fun anymore. Well, there is an exception to every rule, and in this exception I am talking about the exceptional Australian group, the Grates.

This band, and it's lead singer, Patience Hodgson, are quite different from Sandra Lou. Sandra Lou sounds hyper-rehearsed and studio tweaked, whereas Hodgson's voice is up and down and all over the place, always a heartbeat away from the false note that she never actually hits.

Sandra Lou is a one hit wonder, whereas the Grates have already had several minor hits, with the promise of more to come. Sandra Lou is all about a controlled environment, special lighting and minimalist art direction. The Grates are so busy laughing at themselves that the idea of that level of public relations and image control seems to be completely beyond them.

But Sandra Lou and the Grates do have something in common, enthusiasm. The lead singer, Patience Hodgson, is a careening skyrocket of activity that bounces off the fourth wall every possible moment, both physically and vocally. The level of energy and optimism that she maintains is enough to fairy-tale float any weary heart. She just makes you want to dance and have fun! She is mirth personified, without a mean spirit or a negative thought to hamper the sheer high-on-pixie-dust tinkerbell qualities that she embraces.

She bounces, she twirls, she claps, she is 197 feet off the ground and climbing. Her every movement is both effortless and unsteady, like a siren wearing a baby giraffe's overshoes. She is armed to the teeth with a frilly vintage tutu and a wickedly clumsy grin. She is the exact scientific definition of Angry Ballerina anti-matter. She makes you want to just get up and do something, but then you would have to take your eyes off her! Yipes!

When I first heard of this band it was through a photo I saw on a website, this one as a matter of fact. At first glance I thought that it was a picture of someone falling. Then I thought maybe it was photoshopped. Finally it dawned on me - it was a picture of somebody having fun! She catapulted into my heart from across the electronic divide, wearing little more than a green dress and the complete defiance of the laws gravity. I fell in love with her before I ever saw her face.

If you watch the their official video of their hit "Science is Golden", and then compare it to this version of the same song that is recorded live, you notice something very special about Hodgson, and the rest of the band. The don't have a pretentious bone in their bodies! They are just as goofy in either version! The are all just having fun mugging for the crowd, mugging for the camera, making faces at each other. These kids wouldn't know an overly-rehearsed moment if it bit them in their goofy smirks!

After all is said and done, Patience Hodgson looks completely unapproachable. She is the kind of girl you can only dream of from afar. A whiff of pixie dust and she is gone like the gossamer dew. A girl like that will forget you faster than she will lose your phone number.

I kind of have a crush on the drummer, though.

Wikipedia: The Grates
youtube.com: Science is Golden
youtube.com: 19-20-20
youtube.com: The Grates youtube user profile
thegrates.com: The Grates homepage
thegrates.com: lyrics
laist.com: Six Questions for The Grates
youtube.com: The Grates - Artist of the Day
thegrates.com: music-lyrics
mp3.com Up and Coming: The Grates
video.google.com: The Grates SXSW 2006
video.google.com: The Grates in Oxford

These are WMA Format Music Files
Lies Are Much More Fun 19 20 20 Rock Boys Howl Trampoline Science is Golden Feels Like Pain	Nothing Sir Inside Outside Sukkafish Seek Me Little People I Am Siam

~ Image links will open in a new browser window ~

High school graduation photos from Russia

I thought that the expression on girl on the left in this picture was really funny. This is from a series of high school graduation photos from Russia. According to Infidel753, "The odd uniforms are a relic of Soviet times, now worn only on graduation day."

I don't always agree politically with this blog, but you can always find some great stuff that is off the beaten path at Infidel753 - such as Underwater Fountains of St. Petersburg, Your toothpaste is poisoned, and Christianity, summarized.

Update: Karla over at Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth has some great Pottsylvanian graduation pictures from 2006 and 2007 as well.

Haliburton Finds New Ways to Fudge the Bottom Line

A new wrinkle has been unocovered in the recent story about the U.S. military putting amputees back on active duty, and even back into combat. The Pentagon has just been announced that the return of amputees to active duty is only the beginning. A new form of "Super Soldier" is being created and tested for military applications. The super soldier is a mutant hybrid nicknamed the "Mutant Commandos."

The new soldiers are much smaller than the standard soldiers of today, and thus need fewer requirements to carry out their duties. Officials at Haliburton are proud of their new prototypes, who they say that the company will be able to save battlefield deployment costs on food, shelter and transportation costs.

Detractors of the program point out that the mutants are barely human, and are ill equipped to fight in battle. Pentagon officials poo-poo the idea that the mutants are less than human.

"Why, they are at least as human as Dick Cheney!" Said one official. "Everybody know that Dick Cheney is a human, right?" Reports of the vice-president being a human are still being compiled as of this date.

If we can get them to the battlefield and save money for the company, then I just don't see what the problem is," Said a Haliburton spokesman. "I mean, what's good for the company is good for America. Am I right or am I right?"

Sleestak Out, Zaius In - In Love That Is!

You Snooze - You Lose, Sleestak!

Ha ha! My plan worked! While Sleestak over at Lady, That's My Skull was double timing his girlfriend with Bronze Age Cheryl, I made him believe that I was after Cheryl as well. This added incentive for the filthy reptilian insect to spend more and more time with the emotionally overwrought Cheryl. Little did he suspect that while he was pursuing Cheryl, I managed to steal the heart of his girlfriend, the most wonderful girl in the world, Hayley Mills!

My superior Cash-Fu has overcome Sleestak's "natural charm." (If that's what you want to call it.) I don't mind in the least that Hayley is high spirited or a little bit pschizophrenic - because after our first dance, I was in heaven! Now that we are together, we pass the time away on my yacht and going to Hollywood events. We are very happy together! And as you can see, our future is so bright, we have to wear shades.

Golly gee! When you turn those heaters on,
Woe is me!
Got to get my cheaters on, Jeepers Creepers!
Where'd ya get those peepers? On! Those weepers!
How they hypnotize!
Wher'd ya get those eyes?

Twiggy!

Everybody's favorite forgotten supermodel, Twiggy! Women can probably thank Twiggy more than just about any other source for today's impossible dieting standards. Twiggy put the "Ahhh..." in Anorexia.

Here is a great video of Twiggy dancing and modelling in the late 60's. (Video will open in the window below.) Also some videos of Twiggy singing, "Here I go again", "Beautiful Dreams", and "In my life" from the Muppet Show. I also found some swingin' Twiggy photo tributes: [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 ]

If you are going to hang out with Twiggy, You will need to acclimatize yourself to the era. Start with "The Groovy 60s", "The Swinging sixties", and this handy video on "60's Fashion".

If you are going to immerse yourself in the swingin' 60's modeling scene, you can get yourself in the groove with this glamorous photoshoot scene from the film "Blow-up". I also found this odd video called "Twiggy Twiggy", which is supposed to be the inspiration for Jean Luc Godard´s cult movie "Breathless". Some girls of the 60's, like Edie Sedgwick, kept their figures trim with heavy doses of heroin and pop art! Here are a couple of very short videos of one of Twiggy's risque contemporaries, Edie. [ 1 | 2 ]

What was the best part of the 60's? Was it Woodstock? Was it the Beatles? Psychedelic drugs? First man on the Moon? The film "Easy Rider"? NO! The best part of the 60's was definitely MINI-SKIRTS! But the next best thing to mini-Skirts is video clips of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In! The cast included Lily Tomlin, Ruth Buzzi, Judy Carne, Goldie Hawn, Henry Gibson, Joanne Worley, Gary Owens and Alan Sues! [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 ]

Even President Nixon guest starred on Laugh-In!

Update: Marius wrote up a great profile, "60s Pop Icon: Twiggy".

Lou Dobbs is a Big Fat Idiot

Everybody is talking about my favorite xenophobe, Lou Dobbs! Dr. Monkerstein has few choice words for the Dobbster, But Blue Gal has the winning Lou Dobbs quote for the week!

Lou Dobbs likes to play-pretend that he is "non-partisan," but his is just another republican shill. I fondly remember Lou repeating verbatim the Republican bilge about Nancy Pelosi's invisible plane for six days in a row.

'Mock, Paper, Scissors' Rules!

Best Comic of the Day! If you folks don’t make a daily visit to Mock, Paper, Scissors, you really are missing out on some great subversive snark. Guaranteed not wholesome! great pictures too, I even stole the pic of Condi from my previous post from MPS.

Cooking With Condi

A Surrealist Gallery of Animated Gifs

Floating Baby | Evil Spock Hamster Dance | Spinning Face
Pollack | Pot | GOP Agenda | Al Sharpton | Line Fight
Metal | Wind Puppets | Woodcut | King Kong
Baby in a Tunnel | Maternal Instinct | Rabbit
"Cleaning Out My Gifbox" from WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Zaius Nation shall be hosting the July 4th edition of the Carnival of the Liberals!

I shall be hosting the July 4th edition of the Carnival of the Liberals! It is a great honor that I probably don't deserve - but I have them fooled thus far, so I just might get away with it. Those unfamiliar with this online periodical can visit their website here. The submission policy is here. Submissions don't actually start until after June 20th, so there is plenty of time to think about your submission.

The topic will be something along the lines of "defining patriotism," or something like that. That topic would be appropriate I would imagine, considering the date of the event.

Perhaps we could explain to the world that patriotism does not mean to blindly follow irrational leaders and ridiculous policies, but to follow your heart about what you know is best for the country as a whole. Patriotism does not mean hanging a magnetic American flag on your refrigerator, nor does it have anything to do with hating your fellow man.

Of course, this topic is broad enought that you could conceivably write about why you love cooking, comic books or blogging, and then relate it to patriotism.

Bora Zivkovic of "A Blog Around The Clock" has written two articles of interest on the subject, a definition of a Blog Carnival, and "Blog Carnivals And The Future Of Journalism".

To the light, bloggers, to the light! And curse the pain.

Glenn Beck is Finally Making Sense

"I figure, why not just wipe out the entire human race by arming monkeys — sorry, sorry, simian-Americans — and that way, we can make everyone happy, the baby-haters and the monkey-lovers, you know?" Glenn Beck, addressing Roe v. Wade from a "Planet of the Apes" perspective, Glenn Beck, May 7 jossip.com

In all of the time that Glenn Beck has been on television, I think that is actually the first thing that he has ever said that actually made sense. Except one thing, Glenn... We are already armed.

The Ann Coulter Origin Issue!

The Ann Coulter Origin Issue!
(Next week, the explanation for Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple.)

The Problem With Sleestaks

No, Mary! Stay away from the Sleestak! He's not even a mammal! Girls' Love Stories #146, from Lady, That's My Skull.

Jingle Bells, George Bush Smells, Cheney Laid an Egg, Warmobile Lost it's Wheels...

Get a Grip, Michelle

The right wing is seething over the widely-circulated video showing Rachel Smith, the U.S. representative in the Miss Universe competition, being booed by an audience in Mexico after she fell during the evening gown competition. A sample of the outrage:

Michelle Malkin: "Yeah, we're the nativists. Next, they'll tell us the mob at the Miss Universe pageant was simply 'doing the booing Americans won't do.' Will President Bush speak out against the treatment Miss USA received in Mexico?"      Think Progress

Does Michelle Malkin have somebody that checks to make sure that she has taken her medication? I'm just asking.

The Problem with Gorrillas is that You Have to Watch Them Every Minute

General Ursus has once again overstepped his authority...

Unfortunately, the Jedi Mind Trick Only Works on the Weak-Minded

Unfortunately, the Jedi Mind Trick only works on the weak-minded. Otherwise, we could also use it on Dick Cheney.

Summertime Fun with Georgina and Uncle Dick

Saturn Girl is a Shameless Hussy!

Via Lady, That's My Skull

The Omnipotent Poobah Warns Us of the Bananageddon

The infinitely wise and just Omnipotent Poobah has sighted yet another sign of the coming Apeocolypse, as first discovered by Cap'n Dyke. This short documentary film briefly describes the Bananageddon.

Al Gore has already been hawking this very short film along with his global warming narrative in a desperate plea to save the planet. I implore you, for the sake of the whole world, watch this film! The planet you save will be your own.

"Fellow humans, the survival of the planet is at stake. You must stop eating bananas - bananas are for monkeys. Save the monkey - save the world!"