Friday, June 18, 2010
There Can Only Be One Quizat Haderach

After being dismayed by Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow for their shrill little critiques of President Obama's Tuesday night speech from the Oval Office, I was glad to see Keith Olbermann eat his words the following night after Obama delivered more than either of them could have ever imagined by talking BP out of twenty billion dollars.
However, instead of acknowledging that maybe Obama might actually know what he is doing and that the words that he used in the speech might have been cleverly chosen for the best political effect at that moment, Rachel Maddow decided to devote her closing segment to Rachel Maddow: The Speech We Should Have Heard From Obama. [ 2 ] "Rachel Maddow rewrites President Barack Obama's Tuesday Oval Office address to what she had hoped he was going to say". Needless to say that I was not overly impressed with her angry little speech. Obama has just pulled off another major coup, and Maddow is still saying that she can do a better job than the president.
However, instead of acknowledging that maybe Obama might actually know what he is doing and that the words that he used in the speech might have been cleverly chosen for the best political effect at that moment, Rachel Maddow decided to devote her closing segment to Rachel Maddow: The Speech We Should Have Heard From Obama. [ 2 ] "Rachel Maddow rewrites President Barack Obama's Tuesday Oval Office address to what she had hoped he was going to say". Needless to say that I was not overly impressed with her angry little speech. Obama has just pulled off another major coup, and Maddow is still saying that she can do a better job than the president.

There can only be one Quizat Haderach, Rachel.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Gop: Oily To Bed, Oily To Rise!
People That Are Not Americans Imitiating American Accents
No time for blogging today! I am far too busy complaining about how busy I am. (Jeepers! I barely have time to obsess over what to eat for dessert, much less have a second helping.) In the meantime you can watch these swell videos of people that are not Americans imitiating American accents. I especially like this one.
The Passing of the Torch

I am saddened at the recent loss that has been handed to Orly Taitz by the people of California in her bid to become the Republican candidate for secretary of state. After all of the fun and hijinks following her numerous unsuccessful lawsuits that questioned President Obama citizenship, I have been waiting with baited breath to read the results of her lawsuit against her opponent in the secretary of state race, Damon Dunn. It seems that, according to Taitz, Dunn is not qualified run for office either. [ 2 ]

Of course, with the win by the fiscal and social conservative Sharron Angle in the Nevada GOP Senate Primary, I think that we can safely say that Orly's torch has been passed. Angle wants to abolish the Department of Education, the Energy Department, the EPA, Social Security and bring back prohibition. She feels that the United States should withdraw from the United Nations, and has spoken out strongly against fluoridated water. Oh, an in the wake of BP Gulf oil spill, she feels that we need to need to "deregulate" Big Oil. Woo hoo! You go, girl!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The 'Party of No' Onion Ring

I was innocently sampling the wares at my local all-you-can-eat rib shack recently, and while dining on the healthy vegetable portion of my meal I came across this curious 'Party of No!' symbol that was lurking amongst the nutritious onion rings and French fries.
Despite my deeply undernourished and famished condition, I refused to eat the offending morsel for fear of upsetting the sensitive political balance of my delicate stomach (and I also wanted to save room for dessert, of course), and instead decided to bring the disagreeable tidbit home for closer inspection and further study.
I submit the following photographs that clearly illustrate the nuanced and discerning sensibilities of my extra-awesome cat, Captain Nemo. I am happy to say that his opinion on the subject of the mysterious 'o-ring of no' coincided with mine:
Despite my deeply undernourished and famished condition, I refused to eat the offending morsel for fear of upsetting the sensitive political balance of my delicate stomach (and I also wanted to save room for dessert, of course), and instead decided to bring the disagreeable tidbit home for closer inspection and further study.
I submit the following photographs that clearly illustrate the nuanced and discerning sensibilities of my extra-awesome cat, Captain Nemo. I am happy to say that his opinion on the subject of the mysterious 'o-ring of no' coincided with mine:

"Meowmm... What is this circular object of battered and fried onion goodness?"

"Bah! This is a foul 'Party of No' onion ringie thingie!"

As an aside, I would like to point out another interesting event that happened during the course of my light repast. Because of my numerous travels through time I am able to recall the days when restaurants would actually bring you a hot towel at the end of your pork rib dinner for you to clean your fingers, hands and pelt with.
I was surprised to find that at the end of this particular evening's meal that our server brought us hot, microwaved prepackaged moist towelettes, still in the package! It was quite a struggle to get the plastic packaging off of the moist towelettes with greasy paws, I must say...
I was surprised to find that at the end of this particular evening's meal that our server brought us hot, microwaved prepackaged moist towelettes, still in the package! It was quite a struggle to get the plastic packaging off of the moist towelettes with greasy paws, I must say...
The Bottom Kill Junk Shot Bathtub Blowout Plugifier
No time for blogging today! I'm about to launch my new drilling machine in Australia to quell the horrific BP oil spill. I am going to drill straight through the center of the earth to reach the site of the nasty oil leak and deliver my "Bottom Kill Junk Shot Bathtub Blowout Plugifier"! (You may think that my plan is silly, but you can't argue that it's any more foolish than any of the attempts to shut down the well that have already been made.)
In the meantime you can watch this swell video that shows how I recently saved America's important television lifestyle from zombie-satellite Galaxy 15 by steering satellite AMC-11 clear of the radio interference of the rogue spacecraft, which almost interrupted the television programming from up to 45 different cable channels! I have mentioned this potentially television-lifestyle crippling dilemma previously.
In the meantime you can watch this swell video that shows how I recently saved America's important television lifestyle from zombie-satellite Galaxy 15 by steering satellite AMC-11 clear of the radio interference of the rogue spacecraft, which almost interrupted the television programming from up to 45 different cable channels! I have mentioned this potentially television-lifestyle crippling dilemma previously.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
With a Little Luck, Maybe This Will Screw Up FOX News

No time for blogging today! I'm far to busy trying to save America's important television lifestyle from an imminent invasion of the zombie-satellite Galaxy 15, which is in danger of interrupting the television signal from the satellite AMC-11 and destroying the programming from up to 45 different cable channels!
'Zombie' satellite runs amok in Earth's orbit
An attempt to shut down the electronics payload of the out-of-control communications satellite Galaxy 15 has failed, leaving the satellite - which ceased responding to ground commands last month - still in its uncontrolled "zombiesat" drift toward orbits occupied by other spacecraft, the satellite's fleet operator Intelsat said Tuesday.
Galaxy 15 is closing in on the geostationary orbital slot occupied by another C-band satellite, the AMC-11 spacecraft operated by SES World Skies, and with its stuck-on communications payload will be in a position to cause potentially severe interference with the SES satellite during a two-week period starting around May 23, according to Intelsat and SES estimates.
The unsuccessful attempt to shut down the so-called "zombiesat" – a satellite industry term for failed satellites in orbit - occurred on Monday.
CNN: Rogue satellite may impact cable TV in U.S.
AP: Drifting satellite threatens US cable programming
csmonitor.com: 'Zombie' satellite runs amok in Earth's orbit
An attempt to shut down the electronics payload of the out-of-control communications satellite Galaxy 15 has failed, leaving the satellite - which ceased responding to ground commands last month - still in its uncontrolled "zombiesat" drift toward orbits occupied by other spacecraft, the satellite's fleet operator Intelsat said Tuesday.
Galaxy 15 is closing in on the geostationary orbital slot occupied by another C-band satellite, the AMC-11 spacecraft operated by SES World Skies, and with its stuck-on communications payload will be in a position to cause potentially severe interference with the SES satellite during a two-week period starting around May 23, according to Intelsat and SES estimates.
The unsuccessful attempt to shut down the so-called "zombiesat" – a satellite industry term for failed satellites in orbit - occurred on Monday.
CNN: Rogue satellite may impact cable TV in U.S.
AP: Drifting satellite threatens US cable programming
csmonitor.com: 'Zombie' satellite runs amok in Earth's orbit

On the other hand, considering the state of television programming as of late this event might be something of a blessing in disguise...
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Death is a Debt That We All Must Pay, But Not Before Dessert!


In my opinion, the only vegetables that are truly safe are chocolate cake and ice cream.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Obama Club!
No time for blogging today! I'm in Shanghai at the opening of the Obama Club! (I must say that the portion sizes of the tasty hors d'oeuvres were a bit too small, but the many delicious desserts were sublime!) In the meantime you can watch videos of the many beautiful dancing girls grinding away to extremely dissonent and annonying saxaphone music. [ 2, 3 ]

Now Obama has his own capitol in the Orient! Follow these links if you want to read more about the event and to see pictures of how the White House will soon be decorated. [ 2, 3, 4 ]

Finally the United States has elected a president who understands how to improve America's image abroad!

Senator Carl Levin is a Pottymouth!

Jimmy Fallon said that if C-SPAN records a congressman swearing on the senate floor and nobody watches it, does it really matter?
Friday, April 23, 2010
I Live in Constant Fear of Killer Robots From the Future

The current headlines say things like "McAfee wreaks havoc with faulty antivirus update" [ 2, 3, 4 ], but the fact of the matter is that antivirus programs like McAfee, Norton, and Symantec products can actually cause more problems than they solve. They can act as a firewall and block ports to email programs and web browsers without warning, and most people don't know to check their antivirus as a possible cause of their loss of connectivity.
Their products consume far too many system resources, they have too many different products instead of one current version, on occasion their updates can cause problems and change email and other computer settings. When their products fail to work, their overseas customer service can be very unhelpful.
Some versions of these programs are written in such a heavy-handed fashion that it can be very difficult to uninstall McAfee, Norton and Symantec. [ 2 ] This has caused problems because most new computers come with one of these three programs pre-installed.
Some people swear by one of these three products, but I know for a fact how much grief that they cause for others.
One issue about antivirus programs that is not the fault of McAfee, Norton, and Symantec products is that if an antivirus program becomes popular, then people that write viruses, adware and spyware start to write code into their malicious software that is specifically written to defeat that particular program. It can actually be better in some ways to use a relatively unknown product that is ignored by the malicious software crowd. Also, many of these programs are free.
AVG is pretty good, but the new kids on the block are antivirus programs like Avast or Avira. I haven't tried either of them yet, but I heard that they were pretty good. I think that the whole subject is actually kind of annoying.
Their products consume far too many system resources, they have too many different products instead of one current version, on occasion their updates can cause problems and change email and other computer settings. When their products fail to work, their overseas customer service can be very unhelpful.
Some versions of these programs are written in such a heavy-handed fashion that it can be very difficult to uninstall McAfee, Norton and Symantec. [ 2 ] This has caused problems because most new computers come with one of these three programs pre-installed.
Some people swear by one of these three products, but I know for a fact how much grief that they cause for others.
One issue about antivirus programs that is not the fault of McAfee, Norton, and Symantec products is that if an antivirus program becomes popular, then people that write viruses, adware and spyware start to write code into their malicious software that is specifically written to defeat that particular program. It can actually be better in some ways to use a relatively unknown product that is ignored by the malicious software crowd. Also, many of these programs are free.
AVG is pretty good, but the new kids on the block are antivirus programs like Avast or Avira. I haven't tried either of them yet, but I heard that they were pretty good. I think that the whole subject is actually kind of annoying.
Barry Lynn on the National Day of Prayer

Recently a federal district court struck down the congressionally mandated National Day of Prayer on constitutional grounds. Watch Barry Lynn of Americans United debate the issue on Fox News.
See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil... Unless It is To My Direct Advantage, Of Course!

With the recent news that Justice John Paul Stevens is retiring From the Supreme Court I would like to formally submit my application for this position.
As the Minister of Science and Chief Defender of the Faith of Ape City, I have acted as magistrate in countless legal proceedings, many of which were directly related to the disposition of humans and their welfare.
Also, my forensic administrative abilities as Chief Lobotomist of Ape City will most certainly be of exceptional value in judicial matters of the high court, regardless of whether the issues at hand are statutory, regulatory or pontifical. (And I have it on good authority that 'lobotomy' is actually a code word for 'Activist Judge'!)
(By the way, in the photo above the chocolate cake on my desk was used as crucial evidence in an important dessert-napping case, and was not merely a delicious afternoon snack.)
As the Minister of Science and Chief Defender of the Faith of Ape City, I have acted as magistrate in countless legal proceedings, many of which were directly related to the disposition of humans and their welfare.
Also, my forensic administrative abilities as Chief Lobotomist of Ape City will most certainly be of exceptional value in judicial matters of the high court, regardless of whether the issues at hand are statutory, regulatory or pontifical. (And I have it on good authority that 'lobotomy' is actually a code word for 'Activist Judge'!)
(By the way, in the photo above the chocolate cake on my desk was used as crucial evidence in an important dessert-napping case, and was not merely a delicious afternoon snack.)




































