Janeane Garofalo Vs. Teabaggers Videos

 

No time for blogging today! I have to go find my running mate, Germaine Gregarious. I have been trying to reach her all morning. She told me yesterday that she was working on some revolutionary budget proposals that could cut our country's expenditures in half! In the meantime you can watch this Awesome compilation of Janeane Garofalo Vs. Teabaggers videos. Go get 'em, Janeane!

 

Confirmed: God is Slightly Gay

 

No time for blogging today! I am in a rush to get to an appointment with my hairdresser. (My hair is a mess! I have split ends, it's all limp and frizzy, and I have all manner of major and minor hair-related glitchyness. I simply can't do a thing with it!) In the meantime you can read this swell article that I found on Nailing Jello to the Wall called "Confirmed: God is Slightly Gay". Seeing Eye Chick also has an interesting post about the same subject. (...Now if I can just make this next yellow light... ACK! Get outta the way! I knew that I should have taken the 10th Street exit...)

 

Raquel Welch in the film, "Fantastic Voyage"

 

No time for blogging today! Dr. Peterson and I are on board the submarine Proteus, inside the brain of Soviet Scientist Jan Benes. We are busy trying to repair a blood clot caused by his prolonged exposure to the Mainstream Media! (His defection to the west is critical to my budget deficit miniaturization program. We must not shrink from our financial duties!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of the scene of Raquel Welch in the film, "Fantastic Voyage", when her crew members had to save Ms. Welch in the nick of time by groping her body to pull off the evil, slimy anti-bodies that are clinging to her skintight white-rubber wetsuit! (Aside from my acute knowledge of the brain, I also have vast experience of the miniaturization process, because during my presidential campaign I have had to deal with the small minds of so many neoconservative voters.)

(I am rerunning this post because Randal Graves asked for something about Raquel Welch.)

 

"Me & Scooby-Doo Down By The Graveyard"

 

No time for blogging today! Some friends of mine and I are busy chasing the Ghost of Finnyan MacDuff. (I think that I can just make this stoplight... Hey, watch it buddy!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of "Me & Scooby-Doo Down By The Graveyard" by Captain Plaid & The Video Terrorists. (Ack! Fred found a clue, and Velma lost her glasses! That's a plot twist that I would never have seen coming...)

 

A Literal Video Version of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

 

No time for blogging today! I am busy performing dentistry on FOX News pundits. (Jeepers! You wouldn't believe the bicuspids on Michelle Malkin... And she could sure use a breath mint!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of a Literal Video Version of Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" that I stole from Freida Bee's awesome blog.

 

No Time For Blogging Today - I'm Hot On the Trail of a German Spy!

 

No time for blogging today! I am busy chasing a German spy at Lord Brackenstall's castle. (Aha! He almost gave me the slip, but now I've got him right where I want him!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video about how fun it for young japanese girls to slit their wrists. Yay!

 

Ack! I am the Victim of a Transporter Malfunction!

 

Ack! I have been caught in an quasi-entrobial Hasslein distortion loop while being beamed to the planet Tralmafador via the Starship Enterprise transporter! (Damn you and your Saurian brandy, Engineer Scott!) Click here to see the horrifying results. The unusual effects have been most embarrassing, I must say! (On the plus side, after the event I found a considerable number of delicious Cheez-It's discreetly lodged in my underpants, so at least I have something crunchy to snack on. Mmm, crispy cheesiness!)

 

Baby Panda Sneeze

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy expanding the horizons of some of our corporate adversaries with some gentle musical persuasion. (The hills are alive with the sound of potassium nitrate!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of a Baby Panda Sneeze. (Holy crap! Jeepers, Ms. Gregarious - That really was quite loud, I must say. I should have brought earplugs!)

 

LGPPP, Inc. Corporate Training Video

 

No time for blogging today! I am too busy watching Germaine Gregarious' latest LGPPP, Inc. Corporate Training Video. In this exciting installment, an evil corporate pigboy gets his comeuppance for taking an enormous bonus from his company's bailout money. (And he had the gall to not even try to bribe either me or Germaine Gregarious. I was genuinely hurt.) If you missed the previous installment, you can watch it by clicking here.

 

"Pregnant Women are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oates

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy collecting samples of the local aquatic fauna. (Ms. Gregarious says that if it's self-propelled and explodes below the waterline, it's a keeper!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell music video of the song, "Pregnant Women are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oates. (Ouch! I've just barked my shin on a proximity detonator!)

 

A Most Unusual Cat Fight

 

No time for blogging today! I am busy performing lobotomies on some of the poor, downtrodden housewives of the bailout banking executives. (I ask you, haven't the extremely wealthy people of this country suffered enough already? Have a tissue, my dear...) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of a most unusual cat fight. (This kind of straw cat fallacy is called 'argumentum ad kitty kat', I believe.)

 

Not All of My Patients are Annoying. Many of Them are Dead.

 

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Doctor: "I've got very bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's."
Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.

 

Wait a Moment While I Change Lenses...

 

No time for blogging today - It's my birthday! I was born in 3795 A.D., which means that I am negative 1786 years old today! (Try and explain that to the DMV.) Germaine Gregarious and I are off to do some nature photography with the girls of the LGPPP. (Oops! The relative aperture of my depth of field seems to be a bit over-exposed...) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video that tells the tale of what a beautiful young girl did in the family pool while her parents were away! (And she isn't wearing a swimsuit - Oo-La-La!)

 

Don't Laugh...

 

When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.

 

Just Put It On the Taxpayer's Tab, My Good Sir...

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I have been very busy lately spending our "retention" bonus at the Rich People Only Club. we have been dining with bad bankers and phony financiers on meaty, piping hot bailout brisket, lavishly drenched in sizzling stimulus sauce. The commodity and equity biscuits are delicious with gobs of oppressed mob butter, and extra lashings of holy-crap-we're-in-a-jam! (Ms. Gregarious and I both drink our Bonded single-malt, 100 proof "liquidity injections" the same way that the economic forecast is looking, on the rocks!)

In the meantime, you can check out these swell links that are guaranteed to defraud, swindle and deceive you out of your hard earned tax dollars and Social Security payments by the lowest forms of trickery imaginable!

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Blue Gal has posted the final submissions for the Carnival of the Liberals 87!

BAC has a mind-blowing post about Tammy Bruce. (Badtux posted about her, too!)

Sunandheir has posted the definitive guide to the seductive and deadly Poison Ivy. (It's great!)

Both Dean Wormer and Comrade Kevin did great posts about their fathers.

Jang-chub Ozer has an interesting post about celebrity IQs.

Übermilf wants to deal with those Wall Street "top performers" using the Aunt Bea approach.

Randal has started an unusual soap opera.

Oliver Willis has a new website, News America Now.

Wee Mousie Nails Bobby Jindal!

Aspiring wordsmith Bubs has been published - twice!

Niblet got his stitches out! Yay! :o)

TexBetsy has an interesting post about weenies.

FranIAm recalls her trip to Machu Picchu.

GETkristiLOVE went to Ecuador.

Lisa's daughter went to the prom. (With pictures!)

Sleestak and Thought Criminal have fun with AT-ATs.

Utah Savage needs help editing the first three chapters [ 1, 2, 3 ] of her book.

Distributorcap has some great pictures!

Darkblack is awesome. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

So are The Omnipotent Poobah and Ice Station Tango.

Sue J has posted a warning to all individuals that are squeaky and made of fleece.

Matty Boy asks the obvious question, "Don't you Twitterstand?"

Some Guy has a unique view of the free market.

Mauigirl invokes the famous Casablanca quote,"I'm shocked - shocked!"

Darius Whiteplume has a great video, but is ignoring the logic of Commander T'Pol.

Pissed Off Patricia seems to be handling things better than I am.

What Now Toons is aways great!

Jess Wundrun has been on a blogcation lately... :o(

The Ardent Thread says that the new sashiko books are here!

I agree with Aunt Dahlia about Irish food.

I, Splotchy is getting pretty corny.

Eda Cherry waxes YouToobishly poetic about Post-it Notes.

The Hermit has a candid interview with Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Kulkuri points out that privatization of the military is not new.

TF is a great artist who has survived the zombie rainbow pony war.

Puddy says that April 18th is Record Store Day! (You get fee records!)

Gilligan reminds you that salad cream is not just for salads.

Ruby Mae say that positinos, negatino and neutrinos can run both hot and cold.

Michael Hart has a great quote from H.G. Wells.

The Wulfshead is getting might crowded!

Lockwood is a geologist, and features a new mineral every Monday!

Elizabeth McQuern graphically depicts the horrors of Twitter.

Those still suffering from the ravages of Battlestar Galactica: [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

 

Hippies Were Right!

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy in the kitchen cooking up some ideas about how to best negotiate with those hardworking AIG executives. (We think that they might enjoy a nice corporate team-building picnic event, we just aren't sure which caliber to use...) In the meantime you can watch this swell video about how hippies were right that I shamelessly stole from Liberality's awesome blog. (You can tell that I'm a hippy. I still have flashbacks, bean bag chairs and I enjoy mini skirts and go go boots! And Ms. Gregarious definately puts the "DIE!" in Tie-Dye.)

 

Cat vs Box

 

No time for blogging today! Gemriane Gregarious and I are just leaving the Oscars at the time of this post. (Jeepers! Jon Stewart is a lot taller than I had imagined, and I had no idea that he has an Australian accent!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of Cat vs Box!

 

My Army of Giant Robot Jellyfish

 

No time for blogging today! I am busy preparing my army of giant robot jellyfish for shipment to U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. I figure that with the way things have been going in the senate, he could use all of the jellyfish that he can get! In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of the awesome oratory skills and leadership abilities of my giant robot jellyfish!

 

Jennifer Connelly in 'Labyrinth'

 

No time for blogging today! I am far too busy brushing up on my equestrian skills at my local Target store. (My horse was very polite, I must say. Whenever we came to a fence, he would stop and let me go over first!) When it's all said and done, though, I think that I still prefer roller skating. In the meantime, you can watch these swell clips of my favorite Jennifer Connelly movie, Labyrinth! [ 2, 3, 4 ] (Do you know why horses always have a long face? It's because they always have a tale of 'Whoa'!)

 

The Greatest Ninja Kitty EVER!

 

No time for blogging today! I am going to have dinner with Germaine Gregarious. She said that we were going to have poultry. (for cocktails we had White Russians without ice, vodka, Kahlua or a glass. Come to think of it, it was a saucer of milk!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of the greatest ninja kitty EVER.