White House: "war on terror" out, "weird microscopic mummy insects" in

The "war on terror" is over, according to U.S. and British officials, who are abandoning that phrase. The British and American governments have instructed all diplomats to stop using the phrase "war on terror." Reflecting the Bush regime's new position, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff declared what the country is engaged in now is a global battle with "weird microscopic mummy insects."

The administrations of both countries feel that the new phrase will add more gravatas and credibility to their recent sagging public support.

"'Weird microscopic mummy insects' is more descriptive, and lets the public know just what kind of menace we are trying to portray really up against." Said White House spokesman Tony Snow. "It is important that the message we give is an accurate one."

Eighty-two prisoners of the global battle with weird microscopic mummy insects being held at Guantánamo Bay have been cleared for release, but they may be held months, perhaps years longer, the Washington Post reported, because U.S. officials can’t find places to deport them to. Via Blue Gal.

Evil Spock Presidential Campaign Tainted by Secret European Panda-Love Photo-Shoot

Presidential hopeful Evil Spock in panda porn scandal.

A series of photographs that are potentially damaging to presidential hopeful Evil Spock have surfaced on the internet, and are causing some concern among those in his party. The photographs in question, unearthed by the reporting staff here at Zaius Nation, is from a panda bear fanciers magazine from Eastern Europe.

Washington is buzzing over this recent revelation. The White House is reportedly grateful for a new scandal that does not involve the present administration. 'This may in fact be Evil Spock's 'Macaca Moment,'" according to one Washington insider.

Anyone familiar with his campaign website should know the slogan that seemingly makes a joking reference to stimulating ursine photography, "Your one-stop source for egg-covered transvestite panda pornography!"

Previously the Vulcan politician has been quoted as saying, "There's nothing wrong with panda porn as long as their consenting adults." [ 1 ] Vulcan staff members have attempted to downplay the significance of this quote made earlier in Evil Spock's career, as well as the incorrect usage of the word "their."

"He is a Vulcan. He has difficulty distinguishing between he human concept of possessive pronouns and contractions. The english language is not logical." An Evil Spock representative was quoted as saying. Evil Spock has not been available for comment at this time.

Commemorating Armed Forces Day

Commemorating Armed Forces Day: It's worth noting that President Bush's threat to veto a 3.5 percent pay raise for U.S. soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan came just two days before Armed Forces Day, the "single holiday for citizens to come together and thank our military members for their patriotic service in support of our country." Think Progress

Supergirl's Secret Identity

For the Cap'n.

Why Can't We Have Cool Super-Villians, Like in the Comic Books?

The Project for the New American Century (PNAC) is the organization that came up with the brilliant idea to invade Iraq. You would think that the failure of that "project" would give the organization reason to pause and think about any further "regime changes," and yet members the group are still trying to play Stratego with American foreign policy.

Neoconservative publication Commentary Magazine held a dinner this week to honor one of its former editors, Norman Podhoretz. Convicted felon Scooter Libby got a standing ovation, and the Christian Science Monitor writes that "Commentary [Magazine] advocates passionate support for Israel, and regime change in at least half a dozen countries deemed hostile to US and Israeli security and interests."

One of the evening's keynote speakers, former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, delivered a regime change hit list, with a country-by-country breakdown:

Ambassador John Bolton's speech on why regime change, notwithstanding the problems in Iraq, "has to be something that's in our toolbox as we go forward." … He also supported regime change in Iraq in the immediate aftermath of the first Persian Gulf War, and in Afghanistan in the late 1990s.

Then, moving briskly to present-day examples, Mr. Bolton backed regime change in North Korea and Iran. As for Cuba, he said that "actuarial tables will take care" of it, referring to the aging Castro. Sudan, he said, was not a sufficient threat to American interests to justify a policy of regime change. Burma, he noted, recently was reported to be entering a contract with Russia for a research nuclear reactor, but "I don't think that's a regime that warrants regime change." Venezuela, he said last year purchased 100,000 AK-47s. "Not yet but maybe" was Mr. Bolton's position on regime change in Venezuela. Syria is the "hardest" case, Mr. Bolton said, seeming to think that what came after Assad there might be worse. Think Progress

World Bank reaction to Wolfowitz's exit? Time to Go, Freakshow!

The reaction among World Bank employees at the news that Paul Wolfowitz, their president, will resign on June 30:

"Everyone ran into the hallways and were clapping and hugging each other," one employee, who declined to be named, said.

Juan Cole, via Think Progress.

Me Tarzan, You... How does that go again?

I can't think of a good caption for this picture of George Bush of the Jungle. Can anybody else think of a good caption?

Award Winning Blogger is also an Aspiring Black and White Photographer

The owner of the award-winning blog Kelly the Little Black Dog is an aspiring black and white photographer, and has just put up some samples of her work at her new photography website, Little Black Doggie Photography. If you have a moment, go over and take a peek! There are some really great photos at the site, in my opinion. When you are finished looking at the pictures, go back to Kelly's and tell her what a great photographer she is. Then tell her to get back to blogging!

Zaius Nation is now officially "thought provoking"

WOW! Becca over at No Smoking in the Skullcave has awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award! I am greatly honored, and would like to thank Becca from the bottom of my pongoid heart. I have now gone from being just another ordinary blog about an orangutan world leader from the future, to being a full fledged "thought provoking blog!" I am overwhelmed and overcome with the sheer magnitude of this gesture on the part of No Smoking in the Skullcave.

First, down to business. The rules of participation of this award are as follows:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

I soon found that the joy of winning this award was replaced with dread as I realized that it was completely impossible to narrow down my choice to only 5 blogs! There are so many terrific blogs out there! I agonized for a time, and then with help of the magic google beast, I was able to figure out that many of my favorite blogs had already won the award. For example, past winners that I certainly would have considered for the award include:

Badtux, the Snarky Penguin, Blue Gal, Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen & Rogue Blogger, Electronic Cerebrectomy, Evil Spock: The Needs of the Few, Five Public Opinions, Mock, Paper, Scissors, No Smoking in the Skullcave, The Omnipotent Poobah, PoliTits, Spocko's Brain, etc. etc.

By only picking bloggers that had not won the award yet, I found that I could narrow my choice to some degree, and save myself at least some of the agony of the decision making process. Still, I found this very difficult to choose among all of the great blogs, and I hope that I don't have to do this again soon! Jeepers!

I found it very difficult to arrive at a choice among all of the swell bloggers in the blogosphere, but I had to come to a final decision in the end. I chose those bloggers that had not been chosen before, and these are also blogs that I really love to read. Now, without any further ado, I give you the 5 websites that I have chosen as "thought provoking blogs" and winners of Thinking Blogger Award:

Infidel753: This blogger and I actually don't always see eye-to-eye on some political issues, but we both seem to agree on what is interesting. And his blog doesn't even have any pictures! He always has great posts about all sorts of things that are off the map, under the radar and often overlooked by other blogs.

Lady, That's My Skull: Best comic book blog ever. This blog has some great commentary to go with the avalanche of images that the author provides on a nearly daily basis. I find the blog especially great because the author and I both share an interest in Hayley Mills and Sleestaks.

Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth: This is a blog about the author's stay in the fictional country of Pottsylvania. Aside from that, I can't figure out what the blog is about, except that there are lot's of great articles and stuff - and occasionally there are pictures of rabbits. More rabbit pictures, please!

Kelly the Little Black Dog: This is one of the most easily overlooked websites. This unassuming looking blog actually has some great posts on a variety of subjects, as well as great comics and stuff. Kelly also has another great blog, "The bizarre things people believe." I wish that she would post more often!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein: Last, but certainly not least, I present this award to newcomer and fellow simian Monkey Muck, whose daily ration of political humor is a welcome addtion to any reader. I actually met Dr. Monkerstein on Becca's website, so it is fitting that now everything comes around full circle!

Thanks, Becca!

Careful, Evil Spock - Angry Ballerina once blogged so hard, she killed a man!

Evil Spock and the Pirouette of Doom

This just in: Speaker Pelosi's laundry detergent is A-OK with the USA

This just in: Despite the fact that the MSM has been telling the American public that they don't like the laundry detergent that Speaker Nancy Pelosi uses, the American public doesn't seem to mind! Mark this down, Glenn Beck and Chris Matthews - Speaker Pelosi's laundry detergent is A-OK with the USA. But thanks for that important update on this non-newsworthy event! Tell us when your crapola gets to the rinse cycle, alright?

And what exactly are the dime-store brillo pads scouring about? They are still trying to come clean about Speaker Pelosi's trip to Syria, and their ridiculously uneven handling of the story. You remember, when the GOP tried to put Speaker Pelosi on Double Secret Probation!

Despite weeks of relentless right-wing attacks, Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) latest approval ratings are virtually unchanged from results taken during the first week of April, a new AP/Ipsos poll shows. Think Progress.

What was that, GOP shills Matt Laur and Tim Russert? What were you saying just a short time ago?

Lauer: But if the Democrats and Speaker Pelosi appear to be acting irresponsibly or incompetently, and let’s face it, a lot of people think she messed up on this one, what’s the impact for Democrats overall?

Russert: It’s considerable. Think Progress.

Wow, that's pretty partisan for an allegedly non-partisan news program, especially when the non-story that you are harping on about is merely a baseless recycled talking point from the Republican Party. Surely CNN can provide some rational discourse on the matter...

CNN’s Suzanne Malveaux: Why should the Americans, or even the international community, see this any more as a political stunt here, a publicity stunt, a big wet kiss to President Al-Assad? Think Progress.

Golly guys, when do you get to the part about the dirty laundry? Those hard to remove stains that you keep scrubbing about? Oh, that's right! You don't! You never had a story in the first place!

This week, American Enterprise Institute fellow Norm Ornstein said of the attacks, "I have yet to see anything with Pelosi that is even semi-tangible evidence of transgression." Brookings Institution scholar Thomas Mann added that Pelosi's progressive leadership has proven to be "more effective and popular" than conservatives expected, so it's "no surprise that she has become a target of attacks and unsubstantiated rumors." Think Progress.

It would seem that if a journalist was really interested in doing some laundry, then their little scrubbing bubbles don't really have far to look to find stories about politicians with some major ring around the collar. Myself, I'm getting a little tired of watching Dick Cheney wash his Haliburton money in the blood of American soldiers.

Cheney Foreign Policy

Online Politics Test says that I am a Lefty Pinko Scumbag, but that I'm Good in Bed

I took this online Politics Test that I found at Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth, and found out that I am what is technically called a lefty pinko scumbag, which is kind of what I expected. I also found this chart during the test as well.

Before you get to excited about the chart above, there is some question as to the validity of the test itself. It is also interesting to note that the chart that they use on their main page of the test would indicate that the logical choice to emulate the position between Donald Trump and Martin Luther King is Adam Sandler.

Also on the chart, Darth Vader is equated with communism. I could have sworn that Vader is a member of the GOP. One of the questions really threw me for loop, "Books with potentially deadly knowledge (like instructions for making awesome bombs) should be regulated." OK, but what about books with instructions for making mediocre bombs?

Sunday Funnies: Old Comics With a Modern Message

Stan finds out that Biff the quarterback has a "sensitive" and "artistic" temperament, in "Touchdown for Picasso!" via Polite Dissent.

At his secret mountain outpost, GI Joe has a conversation with the ultimate self-made man, in the story of "Atomic Man!" via Plaid Stallions.

Young Dick Cheney explains that it is not his fault that foreigners must be sacrificed to the islamofascists cannibalistic monkey men. (Too bad about the girl, she's lovely!) Via Lady, That's My Skull.

And just in time for Mother's Day, we have a rare gem about the difficulties of young newlyweds and their children, Calvin and Hobbes via Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth. (All of the links will open in a new browser window.)

A Special Message to the First Lady

Hey Pickles, tell us again about how much you and George have suffered.

We Must Stop the Terrorists from Lowering Haliburton's Profit Margin!

Monkey Muck posted this amazing clip that I had not seen yet. It is a brief four minute excerpt from the film, "Iraq for Sale" (Film Website). The director of the film, Robert Greenwald, was invited to testify before Congress by Rep. Jim Moran. He was going to show this four minute clip of the film, and the Republicans insisted that it not be shown.

Here is the four minute clip of the film "Iraq for Sale" that was banned by the Republican congressmen on May 10th, 2007. Via Monkey Muck.

Self-Duplicity is Definitely Harder than Walking and Chewing Gum at the Same Time

I could not believe what I was reading when came across this article on infidel753. It describes a phenomenon that is apparently not unheard of in the medical community. It seems that a significant number of those are vehemently against abortion clinics also make use of their services, and then continue to hold their anti-abortion beliefs.

The author, Joyce Arthur, compiled anecdotes from abortion doctors and other clinic staff in the spring of 2000 in North America, Australia, and Europe. The article is a remarkable documentation of this issue.

What I found especially interesting was not so much the hypocrisy of the situation (which is considerable), but the level of double think that any of these individuals would need to generate within themselves to compartmentalize their own conflicting ideas and actions.

In this case the father clearly feels a moral obligation towards his religious beliefs regarding others having an abortion, but does not feel that the same way when he is confronted with the same situation within his own family.

"In 1973, after Roe v. Wade, abortion became legal but had to be performed in a hospital. That of course was changed later. For the first 'legal abortion day' I had scheduled five procedures. While scrubbing between cases, I was accosted by the Chief of the OB/Gyn service. He asked me, 'How many children are you going to kill today?' My response, out of anger, was a familiar vulgar retort. About three months later, this born-again Christian called me to explain that he was against abortion but his daughter was only a junior in high school and was too young to have a baby and he was also afraid that if she did have a baby she would not want to put it up for adoption. I told him he did not need to explain the situation to me. 'All I need to know', I said, 'is that SHE wants an abortion.' Two years later I performed a second abortion on her during her college break. She thanked me and pleaded, 'Please don't tell my dad, he is still anti-abortion.'" (Physician, Washington State) Joyce Arthur

In this case, a 16 year old girl apparently would often picket a particular abortion clinic with her mother, then had an abortion at the clinic, and then continued to picket the same abortion clinic the day after she had the abortion.

"I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers." (Physician, Australia) Joyce Arthur

In case after case, stories were related about individuals who were strongly against abortion, and yet also had abortions.

From a clinic director in a mid-western state: "One of the most remarkable cases was a woman who came [from another part of the state] and said she was the Right-to-Life president in her county. 'But,' she said, she 'had become pregnant and had to have an abortion.'"

From a counselor in Virginia: "[The patient] was disturbed and upset and insisted she couldn't carry the pregnancy to term. She opposed abortion -- and in fact had picketed this very clinic -- [but] felt the abortion was something she had to do." Joyce Arthur

Joyce Arthur: "Many who seek to deny choice for others still demand it for themselves."

Forget graduation - it's my one year blog-o-versary!

I just realized that not only do I graduate from college today, but I just missed my one year blog-o-versary! My first blog post was on Tuesday, May 02, 2006. This is post #557! And what does that mean? Well, I am a little short on material because of graduation today, so it will just have to do. That's what it means. Also, it means that I have to do some Zaius Nation housekeeping.

You see, the coming of the great apeocalypse is growing closer and closer. It is now only 1,971 years until the Reign of Zaius!

Any celebration of this magnitude calls for one thing, and one thing only - female storm troopers recycled from a previous post!

[ 1, 2, 3 ]

Also, here is the first image that I ever made for a post:

And here is the first cool (well, sort of cool) image that I ever made for a post:

The picture of the cake was shamelessly stolen from K's Cakes, which is a really great site to go to for some guilt-free cake goodness! Also note that it looks like Richard Schickel left his hat on the cake.)

Speaker Nancy Pelosi on the Iraq war authorization bill (2002)

"If we resolve this issue diplomatically, we can show our strength as a great country. Let us show our greatness. Vote no on this resolution." Speaker Nancy Pelosi, 2002

Because I'm the President, That's Why

No more classes, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks!

Guess what? I shall be graduating from a midwestern college this Saturday as a magna cum pongoid!

Now, as the Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith of Ape City, you might think to yourself, "Why even go to college, Dr. Zaius? You must already have an education..." And you would be correct in this assumption, I have many honorary degrees from Ape City. But this is my first human degree!

Also, all of my degrees are from over 1,900 years in the future! Try explaining that to human resources. Time travel can be so confusing!

Many things will now change for me. For one thing, I won't have to waste money on those dreary, insipid text books. I can now waste money on completely different dreary, insipid books! I won't have to suck up to pompous and ridiculous teachers anymore, I shall now have to suck up to pompous and ridiculous supervisors. Instead of being greeted with disdain by young and idealistic college women, I now expect to be greeted with disdain by more mature and jaded working women. Hey, wait a minute! I want to go back to school!

My favorite class was Rhetoric, but you could have guessed that. I hated statistics, and almost failed it. But I think that the class I hated the most was Copy Editing. I actually got a decent grade, but I swear that the rules changed every time I walked into class. I kept thinking to myself, this is just like "Fizbin." (Spocko should appreciate this, the rest of you will just have to bear with me.)

The Rules of Fizzbin
(Fizzbin is a fictional playing-card game created by Captain James T. Kirk in the Star Trek episode #49 "A Piece of the Action." The game was "invented" while Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy were being held hostage on Sigma Iotia II. Kirk spontaneously created a confusing card game to distract the henchmen guarding them. The rules are intentionally very complex.)

Each player gets six cards, except for the player on the dealer's right, who gets seven.

The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
Two jacks are a "half-fizzbin."

If you have a half-fizzbin:

a third jack is a "shralk" and results in disqualification;

one wants a king and a deuce, except at night, when one wants a queen and a four;

if a king had been dealt, the player would get another card, except when it's dark, in which case he'd have to give it back.

The top hand is a "royal fizzbin". The odds of getting one are "astronomical." (When Kirk asked Spock what the odds are, Spock truthfully replied that he had never computed them.)

memory-alpha.org: Fizzbin
wikipedia.org: Fizzbin

---

Fans of the old Star Trek will remember that Fizzbin is a poker-like game supposedly played on Beta Antares IV. You are dealt a 6-card hand from a standard deck. A "Fizzbin" is a hand with two pair plus two unmatched cards. (For example, king of spades, king of hearts, 9 of hearts, 9 of diamonds, 5 of clubs and ace of hearts). If the pairs are both 10 or higher (that is, 10, jack, queen, king or ace), then it's called a "Royal Fizzbin". [OK, OK, I'm making most of this up -- but so was Captain Kirk.]

www.ma.utexas.edu: Problem 3. Fizzbin - What is the probability of being dealt a Fizzbin (either royal or regular)?

...And that last part is why I hated statistics.

Channeling Ronald Reagan: It Took Bush to Make Reagan Look Good

As we saw during the Republican debate, Republican presidential candidates are all playing a little game of "let's leapfrog backwards in time to a Republican president that the American people actually liked." So now they are trying to ride on the coattails of the late president Ronald Reagan. Unfortunately for them, the Reagan glass slipper just doesn't fit them very well.

To be fair, Reagan was not without his own scandals and stupidities. His administration brought us "supply-side economics" (tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy), and with it the horrors of huge deficit spending. So present day republicans can certainly wear that Reagan T-Shirt with pride.

You could say that Reagan's testimony during the Iran Contra hearings is being echoed by Alberto Gonzales when he testified before the Senate recently. Reagan also loved military spending, so the Republicans can wear that Reagan T-Shirt as well.

But Reagan was not all bad. World leaders respected Reagan, and by proxy - they respected America. He carried on the legacy of SALT, and created START. Present day neocons don't like arms control, and right now the world hates America - especially it's president.

Reagan also appointed the first female Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor, against his own reservations about abortion. And damn what the critics say, "Bedtime for Bonzo" was a great movie! I've seen it several times.

President Reagan's death in June 2004 ended what Charlton Heston called "the greatest love affair in the history of the American Presidency." (wikipedia)

The term "neoconservative" used to mean a former Democrat who supported Ronald Reagan's Cold War policies against the Soviets. The agenda of present day neocons is very clearly defined in this little video. Present day neocons don't sound at all like Reagan or anybody from that era. (Except perhaps the most bloodthirsty and bewildered of the decade.)

And gosh darn it, even if you didn't like Reagan's politics, at least he was funny. He had a sense of humor. He could take a joke as well as he could make one. He had his own kind of teflon gravatas, with his quirky smile, his jelly beans and his misguided "Reaganomics."

I never thought that I would live to see the day that I would say that I miss Ronald Reagan. I used to think that Reagan was just incredibly stupid and evil. As it stands, I would love to have another Reagan in office now, if the only other choice was the present administration. And the presidential candidates running for the Republican ticket for '08 can't begin to hold a candle to Ronald Reagan.

Original photo from Mock, Paper, Scissors.

I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Mr. President?

 

The public agrees with Speaker Nancy Pelosi! 54 percent of Americans disapprove of President Bush's decision to veto the Iraq funding bill that called for U.S. troops to leave Iraq by 2008, according to a new CNN poll. Also, "57 percent of Americans said they want Congress to send another spending bill with a timetable for withdrawal back to the White House." Via Think Progress.

 

Bill O'Reilly Finally Lifts His Economically Crippling Ban on the Beleaguered French People

France is no longer a forgotten nation! Bill O'Reilly has finally relented and lifted his onerous ban on all things French! The French can now celebrate their hard-won victory over the years of secular progressivism that has crippled their nation. If it had not been for France electing a neocon president, Nicolas Sarkozy, O'Reilly's ban on France might still be in place. Thank god for right-wing french politicians!

This is bigger than V-E Day! O'Reilly's boycott has cost France "billions of dollars" according to O'Reilly, quoting a figure from the fictitious French newspaper, the "Paris Business Review."

You can read O'Reilly's take on the lifting of the boycott at billoreilly.com. Bill-O says that, "'Boycott France' bumper stickers do remain available on BillOReilly.com for nostalgia purposes, and you never know... we may have to re-impose it." Bill is gong to wait before he checks into some "chi-chi farmhouse in Provence," though. There might still be some left-wing French cooties still floating about.

But what of fair Ségolène Royal? I guess it was just not meant to be. Don't cry, Ségolène, we'll always have Paris.

Phantom Zone Kitties: "We are the pet cats of Kryptonian criminals!"

I knew that there was reason why my cat is so evil! It's like this, all of the evil criminals from Krypton were kept is a special inter-dimensional prison called the Phantom Zone.

Remember Superman II with Terence Stamp as General Zod, and Sarah Douglas as Ursa? (Mmm, Ursa...) Well, Zod and Ursa were escaped prisoners from the Phantom Zone.

Now, as this picture from a Superboy comic book clearly illustrates, the evil criminals from Krypton that are held in the Phantom Zone have evil Kryptonian pet cats that were exiled as well! And these evil Kryptonian cats are able to channel their thoughts into our cats, and convince them to go along with their evil Kryptonian kitty plans!

It's so simple! It all makes perfect sense. I am now beginning to understand my own cat's erratic behavior. You know how your cat gets that faraway look in their eyes, and stares blankly into space? They are really listening to the evil plans of Kryptonian kitty criminals from the Phantom Zone!

I would like to give special thanks to Progressive Ruin for providing conclusive evidence of the truth behind this chilling phenomenon. Damn you, evil Phantom Zone kitties from Krypton!

Justice League of America Superhero Profile: Representative Henry Waxman

JLA Superhero: Representative Henry Waxman
Super Powers: The greatest power in Washington, subpoena power.
Vulnerability: Uneducated voters.
Headquarters: The US House of Representatives.
Turn Ons: Speaking truth to power, witnesses that are under oath.
Turn Offs: Dishonest politicians and corporate bigwigs.

Who is the most popular social butterfly of the season this year? Why, Chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, California Representative Henry Waxman, of course!

Rep. Waxman has invited former CIA Director George Tenet for a little chat about Iraq War Intelligence, he has invited the White House and the Defense Secretary to have a talk about Army Ranger Specialist Patrick Tillman's death. Waxman also wants to give the White House some free publicity about those political presentations to government agencies.

But whirlwind of party invitations doesn't stop there! He has issued three engraved invitations related to ongoing investigations, one for the Republican National Committee, and another for RNC Chairman Mike Duncan. (Regarding possible violations of the Presidential Records Act and the Hatch Act by White House officials.) The third invitation is for Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, regarding the fabricated claim that Iraq sought uranium from Niger and other issues. (Via oversight.house.gov.) Many of those invited to Rep. Waxman's many soirees this party season have yet to RSVP.

Rep. Waxman is no stranger to successfully hosting a party! Following the lead of longtime chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee, John Dingell, Rep. Waxman had a party where the chief executives of the seven major tobacco companies swore under oath that nicotine was not addictive... And this neat bit of parlor magic was accomplished before the hors' dourves were even served!

Later in the social season Rep. Waxman plans to investigate, among other Washington glitterati, Jack Abramoff and Halliburton. He has also introduced the The Safe Climate Act of 2007 (H.R. 1590), which will also take place later this season, weather permitting.

But who is this man of steel? Rep. Waxman has represented the Los Angeles area of California since 1974. Waxman was born in Los Angeles. He has a bachelor's degree in political science and a law degree from UCLA. He was elected to the California Assembly in 1969 and served six years, until his election to Congress.

He has served as chair of the Energy and Commerce Committee's Subcommittee on Health and the Environment, where he conducted investigations into a range of health and environmental issues, including universal health insurance, Medicare and Medicaid coverage, AIDS and air and water pollution.

Rep. Waxman is the Chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform and is a member of the Committee on Energy and Commerce.

Time Magazine calls him the "The Scariest Guy in Washington":

Come January, however, the man that the liberal Nation magazine once called the "Eliot Ness of the Democrats" can do even more, thanks to the two words that strike fear in the heart of every government official: subpoena power. As the new chairman of the House Government Reform Committee, Waxman will have free rein to investigate, as he puts it, "everything that the government is involved with." [...] Since a Republican entered the White House, the G.O.P. Congress has been far less enthusiastic in its oversight. Waxman likes to point out that the House took 140 hours of sworn testimony to get to the bottom of whether Clinton had misused the White House Christmas-card list for political purposes, but only 12 hours on prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib. Time

Rep. Waxman, 67, and his wife Janet, have a son, a daughter, and four grandchildren. "Waxman grew up over his family's grocery store near Watts, got his political start in the state assembly and came to Washington among the storied post-Watergate reformers known as the Class of 1974." Time

On my mind are the more than 2,000 men and women of the United States military who have died fighting this war in Iraq. And the more than 15,000 who have been wounded or disfigured, many with injuries that they will carry for life. Some of them are recuperating just up the road a few miles from the Capitol at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. They have sacrificed so much for this country and so much for this war.

They have done their duty, and now it is time for Congress to its constitutional duty to provide a check on the abuses of the Executive Branch. Rep. Henry Waxman

Betty and Veronica at the Gym

Dana Rohrabacher wants you to feel good about torture

Speaking to the European Parliament’s committee on Human rights Representative who were invited guests and witnesses in the House Foreign Affairs European subcommittee hearing On April 17, Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) said in defense of the Bush Administration's program of extraordinary rendition, "I hope it’s your families that suffer the consequences."

The European Parliamentary human rights committee had issued a report in January, 2007 sharply critical of the Bush administration’s extraordinary rendition program in which persons from all over the world were detained by either CIA or local police and then flown by CIA jet (torture taxi) to other countries where they were imprisoned (Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Libya, Djibouti, Morocco, Yemen. The report was equally critical of European governments for allowing the unlawful flights to take place.

From 2001 through 2005, the governments of fourteen countries in Europe allowed at least 1,245 CIA flights with illegally abducted terrorist suspects to be flown through their airspace or to land on their territory. Germany, Britain, Ireland and Portugal allowed the highest numbers of covert flights. As well as at least 1,245 flights operated by the CIA, there were an unspecified number of US military flights for the same purpose. AfterDowningStreet.org

What did Rohrabacher say exactly? Maybe he was just taken out of context. So often the factinistas in the left-wing mainstream media just twist and distort the actual meaning of what our fine politicians are saying. Let's see exactly what he said...

On April 17, 2007, while defending the Bush Administration's program of extraordinary rendition during a House hearing on transatlantic relations, Rohrabacher said:

"After 9/11 we established different operations because we needed to do it, because we knew at that time there were people who were willing to kill tens of thousands of other human being because they hate our way of life. Now, were only talking about ... the question at hand, we've looked at your report ... were talking about a miniscule number of people here as compared to the number of people who are being protected. And does that mean ... and of the miniscule number of people, a hundred, two hundred people who are being held in this way, how many of those have been mistreated? How many of those have actually suffered the type of unfair treatment because they themselves really aren't members of Al Qaida and they were just ... their name was mistaken?

For example, I know in one or two cases you have a man whose name was exactly the same name as a Muslim that was involved in Al Qaida. To the degree there are a few of those cases, we should do our best to make sure those cases don't exist, try to find a system to root them out. But, here's the other shoe dropping, we are at war and we've got to make sure that we do not let go fifty terrorists who will go out and plant a bomb in London and kill twenty-thousand people in order to protect that one person who we arrested accidently because his name was the same.

That's the type of unfortunate consequence ... (talking, boos from the gallery) Well I hope it's your families, I hope it's your families that suffer the consequences. (Shouts) Mr. Chairman I will be very happy to talk to everybody afterwords if you'd like to talk to me, but in terms of the hearing I'd like to make my points without having it animated. One person, if we let ... if in order to protect the rights of one or two people or five people or ten people, who are mistakenly abducted, because their names were the same or because they went to a mosque that they didn't know .. or this thing was going on in the back room. If we ... if ten of those people suffer those consequences ... but in order for us to take 90 other people off the street who are intent on involved in plans that would slaughter tens of thousands of our citizens, I'm afraid that's the price we pay in a real world. And the United States ... we're not ... we are not ghouls ... we are not ... we don't ... we're not ... we don't want to torture somebody because he has a bad name. We want to get information from somebody that we think might want to kill our children and kill your children. (talking) And if you doubt our motives, you're welcome to. I know there's a lot of people hate America. But when the pressure's on, for ... quite frankly we have known all along that at times America has to go it alone and people will try to find fault with us rather than trying to at least understand our morality."

(Rohrabacher was subsequently interupted by protesters wearing orange jumpsuits who were removed from the gallery.)

Rohrabacher has been getting his share of noteriety:

On April 17, 2007, during a House Foreign Affairs subcommittee hearing, Rohrabacher vigorously defended the US's policy of extraordinary rendition, noting "Imprisoning and torturing one innocent person was a fair price to pay for locking up 50 terrorists who would 'go out and plant a bomb...and kill 20,000 people.'" For this comment, he was named Countdown with Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World" on April 25. Wikipedia

You are probably asking yourself, "Who is this guy? Gosh, he sounds familiar!" That's right, this is the same Dana Rohrabacher that proposed hearings to find out the real truth about an alleged Middle Eastern accomplice to killer Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma City bombing. According to Rohrabacher and author Jayna Davis, "McVeigh and Terry Nichols were not the lone conspirators but were part of a greater scheme involving Islamic terrorists and at least one provable link to Iraq." World Net Daily

It is perhaps not surprising that Rohrabacher, considering his aliegences, does not believe in global warming. During a congressional hearing on climate change on February 8, 2007, Rohrabacher theorized that previous warming cycles may have been caused by carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere by "dinosaur flatulence." Wikipedia

Rohrabacher is also close friends with Jack Abramoff:

In 1999 Rohrabacher went on an Abramoff-funded trip to the Marshall Islands. [...]

In 2000, Abramoff listed Rohrabacher as one of the his references on his loan application for the purchase of SunCruz Casinos. "I don't remember it, but I would certainly have been happy to give him a good recommendation," Rohrabacher said in April 2005, when news reports first arose. "He's a very honest man." [...]

In December 2005, Rohrabacher again defended Abramoff, telling the Washington Post: "I think he's been dealt a bad hand and the worst, rawest deal I've ever seen in my life. Words like bribery are being used to describe things that happened every day in Washington and are not bribes." Wikipedia

Rohrabacher even has ties to that evil left wing empire known as Hollywood:

On November 4, 2005, The Los Angeles Times reported that Rohrabacher "used his influence to open doors in Washington for a Hollywood producer pitching a television show after the producer paid him a $23,000 option on a nearly 30 year old screenplay." The producer, Joseph Medawar, has since been indicted on fraud charges by the FBI and has pled not guilty.[...]

In May 2006, Rohrabacher, through his press secretary, announced that he will return the $23,000. The decision was made public shortly before Medawar took responsibility in a United States District Court for bilking about $3.4 million from about 50 investors. Wikipedia