A Jester Unemployed is Nobody's Fool!

Yummiest BubbleGum Pop Diva? We Report, You Decide

yesterday I posted about a video by French terrorist Sandra Lou, "Banana Split". Three of the the comments suggested that I should also check out their favorite terrorist bubblegum pop diva. I promised that I would, right after I listened to "Banana Split" just one more time. And so I did! 932 hours later, I turned off Sandra Lou and looked up the artists mentioned. I have created links to all of the videos so that everyone can check them out!

Now remember as you watch these, you are comparing their potential awsome bubblegumosity and infectious yummyness to this video, "Banana Split".

The Pipettes

The first sugestion was The Pipettes by Evil Spock. I have actually listened to the The Pipettes before, so I know how great they are. Here are some of their videos:

The Pipettes: "We Are The Pipettes", "ABC", "Pull Shapes", "Pull shapes (acoustic)", "The Pipettes@TheGarage", "The Pipettes on DR's Christmas Show", "dirty mind", "Your Kisses are Wasted on Me", "Judy", "Judy (Live Europe)", "Your Kisses are Wasted on Me", "The Pipettes on 'De Laatste Show'", ""We Are the Pipettes" (SXSW)", "The Pipettes and Hilter!" (I couldn't get that one to play), "The Pipettes Interview", "Guess Who Ran Away With The Milkman?", and "A Winters Sky".

After careful perusal I think that my favorite songs by the Pipettes are "Dirty Mind" and "Guess Who Ran Away With The Milkman?" and of course, "We Are The Pipettes". The 50s girl group sound that they convey is great! They also have some mighty big shoes to fill, some of the stuff from 50s and 60s is hard to top.

Evil Spock did a pretty good imitiation of Sandra Lou, I think. (I'm not really sure, but I think he is lip-synching.)

Alizee

After I listened to this singer, I think that Alizee comes off as kind of like a Britney Spears knock off, except that she can sing and and dance, and she is attractive, and looks intelligent and sober. And she is brunette. What am I talking about, Alizee is nothing like Britney Spears! Well, they actually do have something in common. Alizee is all of the things that Britney Spears is supposed to be, and isn't.

Alizee: "Alizee" 1, "Alizee" 2, "I'm not 20", "L' Alizee", "J'en Ai Marre!", "La Isla Bonita", "Alizee L'Alizee", "Alizée - 2006-04-30", "Goumandises", "Goumandises 2", "Goumandises 3", "Moi Lolita", "Moi Lolita" 2, "2001-10-26 - Performance", "The Night Elf Dance", "Moi Lolita", "Moi Lolita", and "Alizée Tribute - Veni Vidi Vici".

She does seem to have a nice voice, but is that really what her fans are interested in? [ 1, 2, 3 ] I think that even Alizee knows what they looking for, or she would not practice this particular form of choreography. [ 4 ] As I listened to the different songs, I did not find one that really stood out in my mind. I'm sorry, I was not really impressed with the music. She is a very lovely girl though.

I don't think that you can really compare Alizee to Sandra Lou. Alizee is obviously a well established pop star diva, and Sandra Lou is just kind of a one-hit-wonder, as near as I can tell.

Shonen Knife

Dr. Monkerstein suggested a song I had never heard of called "Banana Chips" by Shonen Knife. And it keeps with the whole banana theme! What a great song! What a great group!

Shonen Knife: "Banana Chips", "Riding on the Rocket", "It's a New Find", "Brown Mushrooms", "Twist Barbie (Live)", "E.S.P.", "Kiss Her Kiss Her"

I love their music! And there is something immediately wonderful about girls with electric guitars. I think that my favorites were "Banana Chips" and "Riding on the Rocket". Another Japanese girl band that I really enjoy is the 5678s. (The Barracuda, Shoobie Doobie Doo, Whoo Hoo).

I would say that "Dirty Mind" by The Pipettes would be my vote for the closest example of what I was talking about yesterday. This song sort of comes close to the light hearted mirth and enthusiasm of "Banana Split". Unfortunately, the lighting, choreography, art direction and camerawork are pretty dreadful in their video. The girl in the glasses makes up for some of these shortcomings, however.

Sandra Lou does not really seem to be very famous. It does appears that, like Bill O'Reilly, she did win a Peabody. Other than that, it appears that she has not done much else musically, at least not on the web. She is just some kind of lame French TV personality. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

As she is just covering some Lio hit and has done little else musically, she is by every definition just some flash in the pan. She probably isn't even that good of singer outside of a studio, and the best part about her dancing is that at least she looks like she is having a lot of fun. Still, it is Fantasteriffic! They got all of the component parts correct - the music (and it's arrangement) is great, the singer is yummy, the art direction, editing, camerawork and everything just fit together exactly. What I think really makes the video so great was that it was so upbeat and enthusiastic.

I think that the best examples of music that have a similar quality are songs like the Jackson 5 doing "ABC", or the Partridge Family doing "Having a Ball!", but there are other songs like this, the Monkees hits "Gonna Buy Me a Dog", "Daydream Believer", "Not Your Stepping Stone", the Partridge Family singing "Come on, Get Happy" and "I Think I Love You", and of course the Archies did "Sugar, Sugar". Even the original Banana Splits TV show theme song would fit into this category.

I'm tired of listening to all of the lies, period.

Everything's up to date in Pottsylvania

These are for Blue Gal, authentic Pottsylvanian underpants! As this photograph clearly shows, The native girls of Pottsylvania wear classy underpants, just like American girls! Via Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth.

"Hail Pottsylvania, hail to The Black And Blue!
Hail Pottsylvania, sneaky and crooked through and through:
DOWN with The Good Guys, UP with The Boss,
Under The Sign Of The Triple Cross (Hai!),
Hail Pottsylvania...Hail, Hail, HAIL!" wikipedia

Sandra Lou is retro-hot-pink and fluorescent yellow delicious!

I am so glad that Bill O'Reilly has finally lifted his economically crippling ban on the beleaguered French people, because now we can once again enjoy music videos made by French terrorists like Sandra Lou! I can't get Sandra Lou's music video, "Banana Split" out of my head!

Check out those dance moves - she turns left, she turns right, she does the monkey! She does the swim! She does the robot! She bounces up and down! She is wearing a mini-skirt and go-go boots! Sandra Lou is retro-hot-pink and fluorescent yellow delicious! "Ooo-la-la!"

I would sing along, but I don't speak the international language of terrorism, French! I have no idea why I like this song, but it has an infectious quality about. When I first heard it, I just thought it was kind of stupid, but later I felt that it had something that a lot of music is lacking today, enthusiasm.

Now there are those that find all bubblegum pop disagreeable, and to a large degree I would concur. But there are certain classic groups, like the Monkees, the Partridge Family and the Archies that just seem to get better with age, and the music today just doesn't seem to be able to hold a candle to them. All of these bands are like the Beatles, timeless and unique.

I am not comparing Sandra Lou or "Banana Split" to these great old pop groups, but it is certainly a step in the right direction. It is just fun to listen to, and I don't even know what the song is about!

I found this video while I was searching for videos of the Banana Splits. I find that months later I still go back to listen to it. It's just so much fun! It is just silly candy-floss music and a bouncing camera barely focusing on primary colors against a white background, but it works! Maybe that is what's wrong with music nowadays, it's just not as much fun anymore.

The song is not even Sandra Lou's hit, she is doing a cover of an old Lio hit. Lio's version is fun, but Sandra Lou's version steals the show!

So, What is Sandra Lou singing about? I found the lyrics, and it goes like this:

Ça me déplairait pas que tu m'embrasses
NA NA NA
Mais faut saisir ta chance avant qu'elle passe
NA NA NA
Si tu cherches un truc pour briser la glace
BANANA BANANA BANANA

C'est le dessert
Que sert
L'abominable homme des neiges
A l'abominable enfant teenage
Un amour de dessert
BANANA NA NA NA NA BANANA SPLIT

Les cerises confites sont des lipsticks
NA NA NA
Qui laissent des marques rouges sur l'antarctique
NA NA NA
Et pour le faire fondre une tactique
BANANA BANANA BANANA

Baisers givrés sur les montagnes blanches
NA NA NA
On dirait que les choses se déclenchent
NA NA NA
La chantilly s'écroule en avalanche
BANANA BANANA BANANA

So what the heck does that mean? I don't know, I don't speak French! Luckily, Google does:

That would not displease to me that you embrace me
NA NA NA
But is necessary to seize your chance before it passes
NA NA NA
If you seek a trick to break the ice
BANANA BANANA BANANA

It is the dessert
What is useful
The abominable snowman
With the abominable child teenage
A love of dessert
BANANA NA NA NA NA BANANA SPLIT

The crystallized cherries are lipsticks
NA NA NA
Who leave red marks on the Antarctic
NA NA NA
And to dissolve it a tactic
BANANA BANANA BANANA

Kisses frosted on the white mountains
NA NA NA
It would be said that the things start
NA NA NA
Chantilly collapses in avalanche
BANANA BANANA BANANA

Ack! I still don't know what it means! It has something to do with dating, and the Abominable Snowman, and dessert. It is possible that the word Chantilly is used as a double entendre, as it means both a town in France and dessert served with whipped cream, flavored with vanilla. I guess that a lot of the really great bubblegum pop music had crazy sweet-tooth lyrics, like Sugar Sugar.

Sunday Funnies: Old Comics With a Modern Message

Alberto Gonzales finds that after being Bushed, He didn't have the time or energy to have fun with his wife. Luckily his friend jim shows him there is lots of money to be made in the exciting field of K-Street lobbying electronics!

Lois Lane says that "I'll Never Fall in Love Again!" Lois was suffering from the classical symtoms of the emotion... Love. By having an emotional lobotomy performed, Lois was rendered incapable of ever loving Superman again!

"Smoking is for Squares!" Winner of the Palisades Amusment Park National Miss American Teenager Contest, Paulette Breen, teaches young Bob a valuable lesson. Bob's so called "friends" ask him to smoke a cigarette. "C'm Bob, don't be a chicken... Take a butt... You'll feel cool! You'll see how the girls flip for you!" Paulette Breen teaches the boys that smoking is bad. She imparts this important message to the whole gang before she leaves, "Girls who are hip don't flip for fellows who smoke!"

Bad For the Brain: Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, etc.

It is a sad state of affairs when the most reliable news source on television is on the Comedy Channel. (With the exception of Keith Olbermann, of course.)

White House: "war on terror" out, "weird microscopic mummy insects" in

The "war on terror" is over, according to U.S. and British officials, who are abandoning that phrase. The British and American governments have instructed all diplomats to stop using the phrase "war on terror." Reflecting the Bush regime's new position, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff declared what the country is engaged in now is a global battle with "weird microscopic mummy insects."

The administrations of both countries feel that the new phrase will add more gravatas and credibility to their recent sagging public support.

"'Weird microscopic mummy insects' is more descriptive, and lets the public know just what kind of menace we are trying to portray really up against." Said White House spokesman Tony Snow. "It is important that the message we give is an accurate one."

Eighty-two prisoners of the global battle with weird microscopic mummy insects being held at Guantánamo Bay have been cleared for release, but they may be held months, perhaps years longer, the Washington Post reported, because U.S. officials can’t find places to deport them to. Via Blue Gal.

Evil Spock Presidential Campaign Tainted by Secret European Panda-Love Photo-Shoot

Presidential hopeful Evil Spock in panda porn scandal.

A series of photographs that are potentially damaging to presidential hopeful Evil Spock have surfaced on the internet, and are causing some concern among those in his party. The photographs in question, unearthed by the reporting staff here at Zaius Nation, is from a panda bear fanciers magazine from Eastern Europe.

Washington is buzzing over this recent revelation. The White House is reportedly grateful for a new scandal that does not involve the present administration. 'This may in fact be Evil Spock's 'Macaca Moment,'" according to one Washington insider.

Anyone familiar with his campaign website should know the slogan that seemingly makes a joking reference to stimulating ursine photography, "Your one-stop source for egg-covered transvestite panda pornography!"

Previously the Vulcan politician has been quoted as saying, "There's nothing wrong with panda porn as long as their consenting adults." [ 1 ] Vulcan staff members have attempted to downplay the significance of this quote made earlier in Evil Spock's career, as well as the incorrect usage of the word "their."

"He is a Vulcan. He has difficulty distinguishing between he human concept of possessive pronouns and contractions. The english language is not logical." An Evil Spock representative was quoted as saying. Evil Spock has not been available for comment at this time.

Commemorating Armed Forces Day

Commemorating Armed Forces Day: It's worth noting that President Bush's threat to veto a 3.5 percent pay raise for U.S. soldiers fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan came just two days before Armed Forces Day, the "single holiday for citizens to come together and thank our military members for their patriotic service in support of our country." Think Progress

Supergirl's Secret Identity

For the Cap'n.

Why Can't We Have Cool Super-Villians, Like in the Comic Books?

The Project for the New American Century (PNAC) is the organization that came up with the brilliant idea to invade Iraq. You would think that the failure of that "project" would give the organization reason to pause and think about any further "regime changes," and yet members the group are still trying to play Stratego with American foreign policy.

Neoconservative publication Commentary Magazine held a dinner this week to honor one of its former editors, Norman Podhoretz. Convicted felon Scooter Libby got a standing ovation, and the Christian Science Monitor writes that "Commentary [Magazine] advocates passionate support for Israel, and regime change in at least half a dozen countries deemed hostile to US and Israeli security and interests."

One of the evening's keynote speakers, former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton, delivered a regime change hit list, with a country-by-country breakdown:

Ambassador John Bolton's speech on why regime change, notwithstanding the problems in Iraq, "has to be something that's in our toolbox as we go forward." … He also supported regime change in Iraq in the immediate aftermath of the first Persian Gulf War, and in Afghanistan in the late 1990s.

Then, moving briskly to present-day examples, Mr. Bolton backed regime change in North Korea and Iran. As for Cuba, he said that "actuarial tables will take care" of it, referring to the aging Castro. Sudan, he said, was not a sufficient threat to American interests to justify a policy of regime change. Burma, he noted, recently was reported to be entering a contract with Russia for a research nuclear reactor, but "I don't think that's a regime that warrants regime change." Venezuela, he said last year purchased 100,000 AK-47s. "Not yet but maybe" was Mr. Bolton's position on regime change in Venezuela. Syria is the "hardest" case, Mr. Bolton said, seeming to think that what came after Assad there might be worse. Think Progress

World Bank reaction to Wolfowitz's exit? Time to Go, Freakshow!

The reaction among World Bank employees at the news that Paul Wolfowitz, their president, will resign on June 30:

"Everyone ran into the hallways and were clapping and hugging each other," one employee, who declined to be named, said.

Juan Cole, via Think Progress.

Me Tarzan, You... How does that go again?

I can't think of a good caption for this picture of George Bush of the Jungle. Can anybody else think of a good caption?

Award Winning Blogger is also an Aspiring Black and White Photographer

The owner of the award-winning blog Kelly the Little Black Dog is an aspiring black and white photographer, and has just put up some samples of her work at her new photography website, Little Black Doggie Photography. If you have a moment, go over and take a peek! There are some really great photos at the site, in my opinion. When you are finished looking at the pictures, go back to Kelly's and tell her what a great photographer she is. Then tell her to get back to blogging!

Zaius Nation is now officially "thought provoking"

WOW! Becca over at No Smoking in the Skullcave has awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award! I am greatly honored, and would like to thank Becca from the bottom of my pongoid heart. I have now gone from being just another ordinary blog about an orangutan world leader from the future, to being a full fledged "thought provoking blog!" I am overwhelmed and overcome with the sheer magnitude of this gesture on the part of No Smoking in the Skullcave.

First, down to business. The rules of participation of this award are as follows:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

I soon found that the joy of winning this award was replaced with dread as I realized that it was completely impossible to narrow down my choice to only 5 blogs! There are so many terrific blogs out there! I agonized for a time, and then with help of the magic google beast, I was able to figure out that many of my favorite blogs had already won the award. For example, past winners that I certainly would have considered for the award include:

Badtux, the Snarky Penguin, Blue Gal, Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen & Rogue Blogger, Electronic Cerebrectomy, Evil Spock: The Needs of the Few, Five Public Opinions, Mock, Paper, Scissors, No Smoking in the Skullcave, The Omnipotent Poobah, PoliTits, Spocko's Brain, etc. etc.

By only picking bloggers that had not won the award yet, I found that I could narrow my choice to some degree, and save myself at least some of the agony of the decision making process. Still, I found this very difficult to choose among all of the great blogs, and I hope that I don't have to do this again soon! Jeepers!

I found it very difficult to arrive at a choice among all of the swell bloggers in the blogosphere, but I had to come to a final decision in the end. I chose those bloggers that had not been chosen before, and these are also blogs that I really love to read. Now, without any further ado, I give you the 5 websites that I have chosen as "thought provoking blogs" and winners of Thinking Blogger Award:

Infidel753: This blogger and I actually don't always see eye-to-eye on some political issues, but we both seem to agree on what is interesting. And his blog doesn't even have any pictures! He always has great posts about all sorts of things that are off the map, under the radar and often overlooked by other blogs.

Lady, That's My Skull: Best comic book blog ever. This blog has some great commentary to go with the avalanche of images that the author provides on a nearly daily basis. I find the blog especially great because the author and I both share an interest in Hayley Mills and Sleestaks.

Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth: This is a blog about the author's stay in the fictional country of Pottsylvania. Aside from that, I can't figure out what the blog is about, except that there are lot's of great articles and stuff - and occasionally there are pictures of rabbits. More rabbit pictures, please!

Kelly the Little Black Dog: This is one of the most easily overlooked websites. This unassuming looking blog actually has some great posts on a variety of subjects, as well as great comics and stuff. Kelly also has another great blog, "The bizarre things people believe." I wish that she would post more often!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein: Last, but certainly not least, I present this award to newcomer and fellow simian Monkey Muck, whose daily ration of political humor is a welcome addtion to any reader. I actually met Dr. Monkerstein on Becca's website, so it is fitting that now everything comes around full circle!

Thanks, Becca!

Careful, Evil Spock - Angry Ballerina once blogged so hard, she killed a man!

Evil Spock and the Pirouette of Doom

This just in: Speaker Pelosi's laundry detergent is A-OK with the USA

This just in: Despite the fact that the MSM has been telling the American public that they don't like the laundry detergent that Speaker Nancy Pelosi uses, the American public doesn't seem to mind! Mark this down, Glenn Beck and Chris Matthews - Speaker Pelosi's laundry detergent is A-OK with the USA. But thanks for that important update on this non-newsworthy event! Tell us when your crapola gets to the rinse cycle, alright?

And what exactly are the dime-store brillo pads scouring about? They are still trying to come clean about Speaker Pelosi's trip to Syria, and their ridiculously uneven handling of the story. You remember, when the GOP tried to put Speaker Pelosi on Double Secret Probation!

Despite weeks of relentless right-wing attacks, Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) latest approval ratings are virtually unchanged from results taken during the first week of April, a new AP/Ipsos poll shows. Think Progress.

What was that, GOP shills Matt Laur and Tim Russert? What were you saying just a short time ago?

Lauer: But if the Democrats and Speaker Pelosi appear to be acting irresponsibly or incompetently, and let’s face it, a lot of people think she messed up on this one, what’s the impact for Democrats overall?

Russert: It’s considerable. Think Progress.

Wow, that's pretty partisan for an allegedly non-partisan news program, especially when the non-story that you are harping on about is merely a baseless recycled talking point from the Republican Party. Surely CNN can provide some rational discourse on the matter...

CNN’s Suzanne Malveaux: Why should the Americans, or even the international community, see this any more as a political stunt here, a publicity stunt, a big wet kiss to President Al-Assad? Think Progress.

Golly guys, when do you get to the part about the dirty laundry? Those hard to remove stains that you keep scrubbing about? Oh, that's right! You don't! You never had a story in the first place!

This week, American Enterprise Institute fellow Norm Ornstein said of the attacks, "I have yet to see anything with Pelosi that is even semi-tangible evidence of transgression." Brookings Institution scholar Thomas Mann added that Pelosi's progressive leadership has proven to be "more effective and popular" than conservatives expected, so it's "no surprise that she has become a target of attacks and unsubstantiated rumors." Think Progress.

It would seem that if a journalist was really interested in doing some laundry, then their little scrubbing bubbles don't really have far to look to find stories about politicians with some major ring around the collar. Myself, I'm getting a little tired of watching Dick Cheney wash his Haliburton money in the blood of American soldiers.

Cheney Foreign Policy

Online Politics Test says that I am a Lefty Pinko Scumbag, but that I'm Good in Bed

I took this online Politics Test that I found at Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth, and found out that I am what is technically called a lefty pinko scumbag, which is kind of what I expected. I also found this chart during the test as well.

Before you get to excited about the chart above, there is some question as to the validity of the test itself. It is also interesting to note that the chart that they use on their main page of the test would indicate that the logical choice to emulate the position between Donald Trump and Martin Luther King is Adam Sandler.

Also on the chart, Darth Vader is equated with communism. I could have sworn that Vader is a member of the GOP. One of the questions really threw me for loop, "Books with potentially deadly knowledge (like instructions for making awesome bombs) should be regulated." OK, but what about books with instructions for making mediocre bombs?