They Made This Sign Just For Me

 
 

War Games

 
 

Couples Therapy

 
 

Beach Party Tonight!

 

"how to stuff a wild bikini" - Tullycraft

"Gidget" Sandra Dee (1959) "Gidget" - James Darren Gidget goes surfing! "Cinderella" - The Four Preps "Beach Party" (1963) "Beach Party" - Closing Credits "Don't Stop Now" - Frankie Avalon "Treat Him Nicely" - Annette Funicello Von Zipper Gets "Fresh" With Annette Annette wants a wedding ring or no dice! Frankie & Annette have make-up sex! "Bikini Beach" (1964) "Bikini Beach" - (Opening Credits) "Because You're You" - Frankie & Annette "Muscle Beach Party" (1964) "A Girl Needs a Boy" - Annette Funicello "Surfer's Holiday" - Frankie & Annette "Runnin' Wild" - Frankie Avalon Yipes! Candy Does Her Thing! "Pajama Party" (1964) "Stuffed Animal" - Annette Funicello "Pajama Party" Trailer Big Lunk would rather play volleyball! "Beach Blanket Bingo" (1965) "Beach Blanket Bingo" - Frankie & Annette "I Think, You Think" Frankie & Annette "These Are the Good Times" - Frankie Avalon "I Am My Ideal" - Harvey Lembeck "Beach Blanket Bingo" - trailer

"How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" (1965) "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" Trailer "How About That" - Avalon/Potato Bug "Gimme Your Love" - Avalon/Potato Bug Annette to Dwayne - Back off, loser! Annette Funicello - "The Perfect Boy" "Fireball 500" (1966) "Fireball 500" - Frankie Avalon "Step Right Up" - Annette Funicello Frankie On The Prowl! "Ski Party" (1965) "The Gasser" - The Hondells "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini" (1966) "Geronimo" - Nancy Sinatra "Ghost In The Invisible Bikini" Trailer Nancy Sinatra has a second thought "Thunder Alley" (1967) "When You Get What You Want" - Annette "Gidget" Sally Fields (1965) "Gidget" Intro Gidget meets Ensign Checkov! Gidget meets a photographer! "Back to the Beach" (1987) "Back to the Beach" (Intro) "Surfin' bird" - Peewee Herman "Jamaica Ska" - Annette Funicello

---

"Venus" - Frankie Avalon "Love letters in the Sand" - Frankie & Annette "By the Sea" - Frankie & Annette "Ride the Wild Surf" montage Annette Funicello - Surfin' Montage

"Teacher's Pet" - Frankie Avalon Annette Funicello's wedding Frankie & Annette Surfing "All I Need Is The Girl" - Frankie & Annette "Lonely Guitar" - Annette Funicello

Surfs up! Here are over 50 different links to those madcap screwball beach movies of yesteryear! There are filled with singing, and dancing, and surfing, and most importantly, the girls are all wearing bikinis!

I wasn't even born when they started making thse movies, but they used to rerun them endlessly on the 3:30 Movie that came on channel 7 every weekday afternoon where I lived when I was a kid. I loved Gidget and Eric Von Zipper and the Rat Pack and all of the songs and the girls in bikinis! I always thought that Frankie Avalon was kind of dick, though. And I thought that Annette was just a stuck up princess. I've found that as I've grown older I don't dislike them so much anymore.

The best clip of all is "how to stuff a wild bikini" by the Indie group Tullycraft. They found the greatest bikini clips of all! For some extra deliciousness, the clip with Nancy Sinatra singing "Geronimo" from the film "The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini" is quite nice.

Probably the most unintentionally funny song is Annette Funicello singing about her surrogate sex toy in the musical number, "Stuffed Animal". "a stuffed animal is more than a toy... a stuffed animal never says no..." The on again/off again plot twist in the clip for the song "The Perfect Boy" is symptomatic of Annette's constant problems with Frankie.

Frankie Avalon was at his best as the Potato Bug (a Beatles send-up) singing "Gimme Your Love" and "How About That". Watch the entire 5'6" of macho stud Frankie Avalon singing "Fireball 500" "Lovin' and livin' like a lovin' man, livin' and lovin' as fast as I can, That's why they call me a travelin' man!..." It's almost painful to watch. Later in the film he tells Annette what he wants on his hot dog.

The infamous Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) singing "I Am My Ideal" "He's got rat appeal!" "Surfin' bird" is a great Peewee Herman clip from the underrated film "Back to the Beach".

UPDATE: You can download an MP3 of "Wild Bikini" by Tullycraft at this link. Also, the Saltine Crack Whores did a very pleasant cover of the song that can be found at either this link or this one.

 

The Invisible Pink Unicorns of Science

 

Dark matter and dark energy: The Invisible Pink Unicorns of Science

TRUTH, n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. [Bierce]

We have all heard the phrase that something is "scientifically impossible" or that something "cannot possibly exist." Bear this in mind while I discuss a widely accepted scientific notion, the Big Bang Theory. When certain points of this standard of modern science are brought to light, the dogma of subjects like philosophy and religion do not seem so ethereal by comparison.

We all know about the Big Bang Theory. What is often not mentioned about the big bang theory is that for it to make sense to the calculations of physicists, something else, something unseen, must exist in the universe. Scientists call it dark matter and dark energy.

So to believe in the big bang, you have to create another theory to support the first one. "The total amount of dark matter can be calculated from big bang nucleosynthesis, and observations of the cosmic microwave background." [Baryonic] Modern cosmologists and physicists are working like the dickens to figure out what all of this dark matter and dark energy "stuff" is. For the big bang theory to be true (and I'm not knocking it), modern science states that the universe must be composed of "4% ordinary matter, 23% of an unknown type of dark matter, and 73% of a mysterious dark energy." [WMAP]

This mysterious "other stuff" is not just out there past Pluto. It is in the room with you right now! The calculations based the movements of the planets within our solar system show that dark matter and dark energy are all around us, on this planet, and all around you. Parts of you are probably even made of dark matter and dark energy!

95% of what is around you is unobservable by any form of scientific instrumentation, according to science. Our model of the universe only accounts for 5% of what we can observe with any instrument known to man.

It is not a matter of some unseen force might be possible in your mind or imagination - it is a matter of some unseen force must exist, or science itself is talking through its hat.

This substance could be anything; we don't know what it is. This would mean that it is entirely possible that a vast portion of the universe may be made of large quantities of invisible Cheez Whiz - Or to use a phrase that might have a bit more irony, according to the Big Bang Theory, it is possible that at this moment that we are surrounded by "invisible pink unicorns."

Atheists tease theists with this reference. "The Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU) is the goddess of a satiric parody religion aimed at theistic beliefs, which takes the form of a unicorn that is paradoxically both invisible and pink. These attributes serve to satirize the apparent contradictions in properties which some attribute to a theistic God." [Wikipedia]

In a universe filled with 95% invisible "stuff," atheists cannot refute that they have their own "invisible pink unicorns." (As an aside, it has been argued that invisible pink unicorns are not really invisible, it's just that you can't see them.)

Certainly dark matter and dark energy can lead to a certain degree of speculation in this area, just as philosophy and religion do in their own realm. To paraphrase Ambrose Bierce, "certain subjects stimulate the organ that a scientist makes a fool of himself with." [Bierce]

Atheists take great satisfaction in showing alleged discrepancies or contradictions in the Bible, and Theists seem to derive great pleasure from pointing discrepancies or contradictions in science. Both sides attempt to pick at chinks in the other's armor, and seem to derive great satisfaction from the rich creamy goodness of their own speculations and assertions.

The funniest and most accurate observation that you can make about the science vs. religion debate is that either side already has far too many marbles in their mouth to legitimately be giving the other the raspberry.

---

"Baryonic dark matter" in the Wikipedia encyclopedia

Bierce, Ambrose, "The Devil's Dictionary," 1911.

"Big Bang theory," in the The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. 2000

"Cheez Whiz," in the Wikipedia encyclopedia

"Invisible Pink Unicorn" in the Wikipedia encyclopedia

"The Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP)"

I wrote this in college. The original was longer and covered other subjects as well. I had to give a Power Point presentation about the paper. I got a good grade, and the audience loved it, but the teacher said that she did not understand the point I was trying to make. This is kind of an addendum to my previous post about religion, as well as an interesting discussion that I had with Samurai Frog and Infidel753.

 

Supergirl Knows How to Please a Man

 

Even without her super powers, Supergirl knows how to cater to a man's inflated ego and suppress her own talents and abilities.

 

Love Couch Imposter

 

Sometimes the title is the best part of the story.

 

Know Your Party...

 


 

It's Gonna be the Best Surge Ever!

 

Is the glass half empty, or half full? Maybe it depends on whom you ask that question. Compare and contrast these two items...

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - At least 175 people were killed when three suicide bombers driving fuel tankers attacked residential compounds home to the ancient minority Yazidi sect in northern Iraq on Tuesday, an Iraqi army captain said.

Captain Mohammad al-Jaad said at least another 200 people were wounded in the bombings in the Kahtaniya, al-Jazeera and Tal Uzair areas near the northern Iraqi town of Sinjar, close to the Syrian border.

The mayor of Sinjar, Dakheel Qassim Hasoun, gave the same casualty figures and said U.S. aircraft were helping to ferry the wounded to hospitals. reuters, via Think Progress

Halliburton Second-Quarter Profit Soars on KBR Gain
July 23 (Bloomberg) -- Halliburton Co., the world's second- largest oilfield contractor, said second-quarter net income more than doubled on a gain from selling its government services and construction subsidiary, KBR Inc.

Profit climbed to $1.53 billion, or $1.62 a share, from $591 million, or 55 cents, a year earlier, the Houston-based company said today in a statement. Excluding the $933 million gain on the KBR sale and a $49 million gain on the sale of an investment, the company earned 60 cents a share, up from 47 cents in the 2006 quarter. Revenue rose 20 percent to $3.74 billion.

Halliburton's growth in overseas business helped push earnings past expectations, said Dan Pickering, an analyst at Pickering Energy Partners in Houston. The company was expected to earn 56 cents excluding the gains, the average of 21 analyst estimates compiled by Bloomberg. bloomberg.com

Images via Mock, Paper, Scissors and Jess Wundrun

 

Democratic Congressional Leaders Vow to Fight the FISA Bill

 

I recently posted that Speaker Pelosi has requested that the Committees report to the House 'as soon as possible after Congress reconvenes,' legislation to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA)."

Think Progress has just reported that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) has delivered a letter today addressed to Sens. Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and John Rockefeller (D-WV), urging them to fix the FISA law that was passed before Congress recessed:

I know both of you share my disappointment at the process that led to passage of the recent law, and at the flawed outcome itself, which you and I and many others strongly opposed. [...]

When the Senate reconvenes in September, I fully support your committees working expeditiously together and in a bipartisan manner to develop a longer-term statutory change that better serves American national security interests and comports with the Constitution and proper judicial and congressional oversight.

Like everyone else, I too am disappointed the Democrats have failed on this issue, and I am angered that the president has gained more power because of it.

I found that I could not agree with what some of the people said in the comments of the Think Progress post, though. I sometimes grow disappointed in what some members of my own party say is a casual fashion.

"Oh, and now that the horse has left, could you close that barn door, please?" missmolly

A heartfelt comment, and I can agree with the author on an emotional level, but I don't think that she is really trying to describe actual situation, merely how it makes her feel.

"Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Steny Hoyer should both resign their leadership posts, sorry to say. There is just no excuse for allowing legislation that so blatantly violates our Fourth Amendments protections while bestowing such unchecked power on such untrustworthy characters in the Executive Branch. It’s as though MCA never happened." FOIA Gras

The author argues that Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and Steny Hoyer have the absolute power to direct all of the actions that take place in congress. Without even reviewing the nature of the U.S. Congress, logic itself dictates that this is not true. Why even have a congress if this is the case? In congress, decisions are made by the deliberation and voting of the whole body, not just the leaders.

"Um, you mean Reid is now railing against the law he and Nanci Pelosi just processed and passed?" Jason M. Hendler

A similar argument, equally foolish. Not all of the comments were like these, and I was particularly heartened to read what CaptainVideo said:

(The author quotes a previous comment:) "What are the odds Bush will sign such a change to this law? Zero."

The current law expires in 90 days. A new law will have to be passed to apply after that.

Instead of defeatist arguments about closing the barn after the cow has run off, it is essential to put as much pressure as possible on the Democrats in the Senate and House, AS WELL AS REPUBLICANS IN BLUE DISTRICTS, to make the revised law consistent with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. CaptainVideo

the only thing I would really add to what CaptainVideo said is that the issue of Democrats that voted for the surveillance bill is what Taylor Marsh said on C-SPAN. Marsh said that the reason so many red state Democrats voted for the surveillance bill was because they were deathly afraid of looking like they were soft on defense to their red state constituents. She said that this was about the best we were ever going to get out of any red state, and that the only alternative to this was another obstructionist Republican instead of a red state Democrat.

Our Democratic leadership is chipping away at a block of stone that the Republicans have been creating since before Bush came into office. Pelosi and Reid can only work with what they've got, and the reality of the situation is that not all Democrats are going to vote the same way on every issue. Let's try to remember that they have only been in control of congress since January, and it is only a slim lead at best.

If the president decides to veto legislation like the State Children's Health Insurance Program and the bills that take away $16 billion in tax breaks for oil and gas companies, then the Democratic congress will only be able to renew their efforts to pass this kind of legislation. This is not the fault of the Democratic leadership, but the fault of the Republican leadership. If Republican congressional leaders continue to stand behind this monster, then it's is the fault of their constituents if they stay in office. That's how it's supposed to work. (This bit of babble does not take election fraud into account, of course.)

Pelosi has had some luck recently generating bipartisan majorities in the house. We are never going to get out of this mess without help from both sides of the aisle, and also without the help of both the blue state Democrats and the red state Democrats.

 

Oliver Willis: 'Jon Stewart Is The Only Real Journalist In America'

 

I shamelessly stole this from Oliver Willis of Like Kryptonite To Stupid:

But then on Monday night, on what is - theoretically - a "fake" news show hosted by a comedian, conservative pundit Bill Kristol tried to get away with the line about Pollack / O'Hanlon and Jon Stewart did what the mainstream media refuses to do time and time again as they roll over and play complicit lapdog for the Bush administration: He said nuh-uh. Jon Stewart does not have superpowers. In fact he jokes regularly about being silly. Yet, in this instance (and in numerous others) he demonstrated the lost art of journalism that the msm does not practice anymore. Somebody made an assertion and he challenged the assertion with factual information. Oliver Willis

Oliver Willis has the video. Go check it out! And while you are there, go say hello to his weiner dog!

 

Election Update for August 14th, 2007 - 'Cooking Up a Delicious Plate of Crow'

 

Sleestak is being stalked by a serial killer in downtown Miami! See if you can guess who the killer is by watching this dramatic video! Also, Sleestak gets his campaign message out about what real Americans in America know to be sacred and truly American!



Jess Wundrun reports that Dr. Monkerstein was captured in downtown Madison, WI earlier in the week. Dr. Monkerstein reportedly bit a bystander outside State Street Brats. Authorities spent hours searching the State Street area for Dr. Monkerstein, who was wearing a diaper at the time of his arrest. His companion, Senator David Vitter (R-LA) had already fled the area. Jess also has exclusive photograhic evidence of Monkerstein's incarceration.



Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator has a Campaign Strategy Meeting with Professor Xavier that reveals quite a bit about his leadership abilities, as well as the Professor's future political aspirations. He also has another Man of Action Campaign Update, and attempts to reach a younger audience. (A much younger audience.)

After a recent failed suicide attempt, Samurai Frog has made blundered into another failed attempt to discredit me. He has also dug up some more dirt on Dr. Smith.

After photographs surfaced of Dr. Smith's first date with Marcia Brady, his running mate, his campaign attempted to obfuscate some of the negative press he received by releasing his own snarky information about his opponents.

Dr. Smith has also made an interesting choice for his new campaign manager, and has recently added a bodyguard.

Dr. Monkerstein attempted to discredit global warming and argues for lowering corporate taxes, and explains why he embraces Communism and hates macrame.



And I, your humble servant, brought you news of Samurai Frog's botched suicide and the possible downfall of Dr. Smith's campaign at the hands of his opponent running mate Marcia Brady.

 

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.

Wake up - sleepy head,
rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!
He's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below...

These are the days of Republican doubt, with President Bush fighting an unpopular war, Congress in opposition hands, and a 2008 presidential field trailing Democrats in nearly every poll. But don't tell that to Karl Rove, Mr. Bush's political alter ego, who even as he prepares to resign from the White House after six and a half years sees recovery ahead. Wall Street Journal

It’s 7:58 a.m. Eastern time, and Karl Rove's exit from the White House emerged several hours ago in a Wall Street Journal column titled "'The Mark of Rove.'" New York TImes

My first thought when I heard this was that this is happening on the wrong day - White House bad news only comes out on Fridays, so that the media can forget about it over the weekend. It does makes sense that Bush is on vacation the day that Rove leaves, but I think that they plan to have the media poodles gnaw on the Rove story all week to obfuscate some other story that is far more sinister. News stories from the white House doen't just fall out bed on Monday morning for the world to see - unless that's the way that the White House wants it to be. Every single news item they release is orchestrated for the best possible effect. I think that they are up to something...

The big question of the day is Who is going to get the Ruby Slippers?

How to Give CPR to a Kryptonian

 

I'm guessing that Supergirl should be filled to about 35 psi. For maximum mileage, don't forget to rotate your kryptonian every 5000 miles.

 

What Others Are Saying: The Accomplishments of the 110th Congress

 

Marie Cocco, Washington Post Writers Group, 8/8/07:

"...Pelosi outlined a domestic policy agenda so elegant in its symmetrical pursuit of both long-range change (an attack on global warming) and lunch-bucket progress (a bumper crop of ‘green-collar jobs’ to be created from investing in new energy technologies) that you begin to believe she is of a rare species among practiced Washington hands: That is, her political instincts come from somewhere well beyond the Beltway."

Los Angeles Times, 8/6/07:

"Besides their success on increasing the federal minimum wage, ethics and lobbying, and the Sept. 11 commission’s recommendations, Democrats have moved forward with initiatives to expand health insurance for children through the State Children’s Health Insurance Program and to shift U.S. energy policy away from reliance on fossil fuels…they have helped focus the war debate on the question of when, not if, U.S. forces will begin pulling out."

Reuters, 8/5/07:

"Democrats who control Congress headed into a summer recess having passed several high-profile bills from raising the minimum wage to bolstering U.S. security and expanding children’s health care. Their top priority — ending the Iraq war — remains frustratingly unfulfilled. But the Democrats who took over in January were able to go home early on Sunday for a month-long break having won more support in the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives for bringing combat troops home by early next year, marking a significant turnaround from last year."

Politico, August 6, 2007:

"Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) scored some major wins in the final few weeks before the recess, including pushing through a major rewrite of congressional ethics and lobbying laws, legislation to implement the 9/11 Commission recommendations and an energy reform bill that includes new taxes on oil companies while giving tax breaks for renewable fuels and conservation. The House also adopted its version of all 12 annual spending bills, including the $459 billion Defense appropriations bill, which was approved late Saturday night by a 395-13 margin."

(Even the French terrorists love Nancy Pelosi!) Agence France Presse, 8/5/07:

"They did however chalk up a string of domestic goals, raising the minimum wage, enshrined into law the recommendations of the commission into the September 11 attacks in 2001, passed an ethics bill, improved healthcare for children and passed energy reforms."

Via the The Gavel

 

Evil Spock is One Year Old!

 

Yesterday was Evil Spock's one year blog-o-versary! If you get a chance, why not stop by Evil Spock's place to wish him well, and of course to bask in the glory of all of his Evil Spock-ness.

[ 1, 2, 3 ]

Any celebration of this magnitude calls for one thing, and one thing only - and that is female storm troopers recycled from a previous post!

 

Red State Blues

 

I'm still reeling a bit from the recent passage of the surveillance bill by the house and the senate. The whole matter makes me feel disappointed in congress, despite their other successes. I just could not understand why this bill would go through.

I like to watch C-SPAN when I'm not watching Comedy Central, Cartoon Network or the X-Files, and the other day they had a program with a panel discussion of bloggers that was held at the second annual YearlyKos Convention. Among the panelists were Taylor Marsh, Christy Smith of FireDogLake and Digby from Hullaballo.

During the program, Taylor Marsh had a very interesting explanation of the vote in the house and the senate. I thought what she said seemed reasonable, enlightening and probably true. The problem with words that are reasonable, enlightening and probably true is that they usually are not what you want to hear, and this was no exception.

Marsh said that the reason so many red state Democrats voted for the surveillance bill was because they were deathly afraid of looking like they were soft on defense to their red state constituents. (She threw up her hands is disgust and confusion over Feinstein. No explanation there.) That part does not come as much of a surprise, but then she said that this was about the best we were ever going to get out of any red state, and that the only alternative to this was another obstructionist Republican instead of a red state Democrat.

I had not really thought of it before in this light, but a wide swath of the Democrats in congress are probably going to continue to vote on certain issues like the members of congress did when they voted on the surveillance bill. I hope that these Democrats do not cause problems when Pelosi and Reid try to shift the focus in congress to the war in Iraq again. As I recall, Pelosi and Reed had trouble getting support from all of the Democrats the last time the Iraq war was brought it up. At the time I had not really thought through the full effect of these "red state democrats."

I can also see how the Republicans could use this to their advantage to cause a rift between the factions within the party, the blue state and the red state democrats. Meanwhile, despite what has been reported by some in the media, Pelosi has had good luck generating bipartisan majorities in the house, as this chart indicates. We are never going to get out of this mess without help from both sides of the aisle, and without the help of both the blue states and the red states.

 

What do you call people who are afraid of Christmas? 'Claus-trophobic!'

 

Sorry, No time for blogging to today. I am helping Santa get ready for Christmas. We are busy fighting the scourge of poisonous Chinese toys over here, so you don't have to fight them over there!

The elves have been really friendly since the moment I got here. At lunchtime they let me have a whole table all to myself! And they seem to be very concerned about my welfare - They keep asking me if I'm not getting homesick!

Also, I think that I might be getting a promotion, because several of the elves in my department have started a petition requesting that I get moved to a different department! I think that it is just swell that we are getting along so well.

I really feel like I'm getting the hang of this toy making stuff, too. I must be doing really well - Santa said that if he continues to see this level of quality in my work, he will send me home early! (Oops! I'm sorry - Did I get some red paint on your green coat? Let me wipe that off for you with this rag...Gosh, that's just made it worse, hasn't it?)

Gotta go! The guys say that want me to help them find a left handed monkey wrench!

 

Summertime Fun with Batman and Robin

I am sure that there is a perfectly reasonable explantion, but what the heck are Batman and Robin up to?