Friday, August 29, 2008
Joe Scarborough Flips Out at DNC Convention!
Joe Scarborough Flips Out at DNC Convention
Olberman: Jesus, Joe, Why Don't You Get a Shovel?
Joe Scarborough Has History of Flipping Out
Maddow Schools Joe "The Interrupter" Scarborough
Rachel Maddow vs. Joe Scarborough
Joe Scarborough Takes on "Iraqi Losers" About Blackwater
Joe Scarborough has a problem with Michelle Obama
MSNBC's Joe Scarborough verbally beats female Co-Anchor
Joe Scarborough is a Jackass
Jackass Joe Scarborough is Too Stupid for TV
Joe Scarborough: It's Not the Economy Stupid
Joe Scarborough Attacks Rosie, Barbara & ABC
Scarborough Drops The F-Bomb
Scarborough loses all control...
Joe Scarborough Keynote to GW Graduates
Joe Scarborough on Politically Incorrect in 2001
Variety: MSNBC team at odds during DNC
Olberman: Jesus, Joe, Why Don't You Get a Shovel?
Joe Scarborough Has History of Flipping Out
Maddow Schools Joe "The Interrupter" Scarborough
Rachel Maddow vs. Joe Scarborough
Joe Scarborough Takes on "Iraqi Losers" About Blackwater
Joe Scarborough has a problem with Michelle Obama
MSNBC's Joe Scarborough verbally beats female Co-Anchor
Joe Scarborough is a Jackass
Jackass Joe Scarborough is Too Stupid for TV
Joe Scarborough: It's Not the Economy Stupid
Joe Scarborough Attacks Rosie, Barbara & ABC
Scarborough Drops The F-Bomb
Scarborough loses all control...
Joe Scarborough Keynote to GW Graduates
Joe Scarborough on Politically Incorrect in 2001
Variety: MSNBC team at odds during DNC
I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw this clip Joe Scarborough flipping out at DNC Convention on The Daily Show the other night. Frickin' hilarious!
(You know who Joe Scarborough is, right? He is the Former Republican Congressman who had to leave office because one of his attractive young aides, Lori Klausutis, was found dead in his office under extremely suspicious circumstances. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ] Now you can watch his hilarious antics on MSNBC!)
(You know who Joe Scarborough is, right? He is the Former Republican Congressman who had to leave office because one of his attractive young aides, Lori Klausutis, was found dead in his office under extremely suspicious circumstances. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ] Now you can watch his hilarious antics on MSNBC!)
Bikini Beach
"Bikini Beach" was the third Frankie & Annette beach party movie. This was perhaps Frankie Avalon's best beach movie, as he plays two roles - himself and the totally awesome British pop-star "The Potato Bug." Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III (Keenan Wynn) is a wealthy neocon who wants to build a retirement village on the beach and throw out the swingin' teenagers. Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his biker gang, the Rats and Mice are once again misunderstood and treated unfairly by the cool kids. And my favorite actor Boris Karloff makes a cameo appearance as an art dealer!
The film's opening credits are awesome!
Tax Cuts for the Rich
"According to a new analysis by the Tax Policy Center, a joint project of the Urban Institute and the Brookings Institution, Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain are both proposing tax plans that would result in cuts for most American families. Obama's plan gives the biggest cuts to those who make the least, while McCain would give the largest cuts to the very wealthy. For the approximately 147,000 families that make up the top 0.1 percent of the income scale, the difference between the two plans is stark. While McCain offers a $269,364 tax cut, Obama would raise their taxes, on average, by $701,885 - a difference of nearly $1 million." Washington Post via Crooks & Liars
John McCain: Ugly American
For any supporters of Senator Clinton that are still considering voting for John McCain after her rousing speech on Wednesday night, remember that it was McCain that started the false meme that Chelsea Clinton is unattractive. Speaking at a Republican dinner in June 1998, Sen. John McCain said:
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."
As teenagers we all were worried about acne, what others thought of us and our own self image. Chelsea Clinton had to listen to the American press talk about a United States Senator that said she was ugly.
It is beyond me how anyone could ever vote for a man that said such a hateful thing about a kid and her mother.
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."
As teenagers we all were worried about acne, what others thought of us and our own self image. Chelsea Clinton had to listen to the American press talk about a United States Senator that said she was ugly.
It is beyond me how anyone could ever vote for a man that said such a hateful thing about a kid and her mother.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
How To Stuff a Wild Bikini
"We're the chicks who know all the tricks, hey now - how about us?"
"How To Stuff a Wild Bikini" ('It ain't nothin' without the stuffin'!')
"How To Stuff a Wild Bikini" Trailer [ 2 ]
"That's What I Call A Healthy Girl" - (Jody McCrea, John Ashley, and Mike Nader)
"Better Be Ready" (Annette Funicello)
"The Perfect Boy" (Annette Funicello)
"Give Her Lovin'" (The Kingsmen)
"If It's Gonna Happen" (Frankie and Annette)
"Follow Your Leader" (Harvey Lembeck)
"The Boy Next Door" (Harvey Lembeck)
Tullycraft: "how to stuff a wild bikini"
"How To Stuff a Wild Bikini" ('It ain't nothin' without the stuffin'!')
"How To Stuff a Wild Bikini" Trailer [ 2 ]
"That's What I Call A Healthy Girl" - (Jody McCrea, John Ashley, and Mike Nader)
"Better Be Ready" (Annette Funicello)
"The Perfect Boy" (Annette Funicello)
"Give Her Lovin'" (The Kingsmen)
"If It's Gonna Happen" (Frankie and Annette)
"Follow Your Leader" (Harvey Lembeck)
"The Boy Next Door" (Harvey Lembeck)
Tullycraft: "how to stuff a wild bikini"
This was the last of the Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon beach movies, but I have always especially enjoyed this one for several reasons. For one, Frankie Avalon and his hair helmet were only in the movie for seven minutes. (Although I am not sure that I liked his stand in, 'Dobie Gillis', any better.) Also, I really enjoyed Buster Keaton as a mad witch doctor, and Erik Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) got to sing two songs in the film. Annette Funicello does not wear a bathing suit in the film at any point becuase she was noticeably pregnant with her first child while the film was being shot.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Through the Power of Dance....
No time for blogging today! Gemaine Gregarious and I are busy getting ready for the big political convention at Grape Nehi Stadium! (Jeepers! I hope that we don't get tasered on the way in!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video sendup of the film, "Flashdance". (And I don't think that they used a body double in this version!)
Labels: NTFBT3
Sleestak the Green Grocer: "Damn the man!"
I am afraid that I have been rather busy the last couple of weeks, and so I have been trying to catch up on all of my blog reading. Ack! I almost missed this important story from my good friend Sleestak over at "Lady, That's My Skull"!
Although She's Just Small Fry, Just About So High, Gidget is the One For Me...
One of my favorite beach of all times, Gidget! I can only find two small clips, this great surfing scene and a scene where Moondoggie seranades Gidget after she nearly drowns. Turner Classic Movies has a great video of the trailer, and TCM is also going to play Gidget on Sunday, Sep 7 at 10:15 PM and Thursday, Oct 16 at 9:15 AM! Yay!
(Still curious? You can read about the real origins of Gidget.)
Ack! Swinebread Over at Atomic Romance Has Awarded me the Arte y pico Award!
Ack! Swinebread over at Atomic Romance [ 2 ] has awarded me the Arte y pico Award!
The Rules
1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2. Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. The award winner and the presenter should post the link of the "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Please post these rules.
1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2. Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. The award winner and the presenter should post the link of the "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Please post these rules.
Monday, August 25, 2008
One Good Disaster Deserves Another...
"On Thursday, Obama will accept his party's nomination on the 45th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.s' 'I Have a Dream' speech. But in an altogether different act of symbolism the next morning, John McCain will announce his running mate on his 72nd birthday. That date also just happens to be three years to the day President Bush presented McCain with a birthday cake in Arizona even as Hurricane Katrina slammed ashore in New Orleans." Crooks & Liars
Psycho Beach Party!
Talk about the perfect Blogger Beach Party movie - "Psycho Beach Party" has everything! Bikinis, surfing, pent-up teen angst, cool surfer music, murder, and the lead character develops multiple personalties! Set in 1962 Malibu Beach, surfer girl wannabe Chicklet is a cross between Sandra Dee in "Gidget" and Tippi Hedren in "Marnie". (Ah, a girl after my own dark heart...)
Berdine: They look like beatniks, should I unpack my bongos?
Marvel Ann: I intend to unpack mine.
Marvel Ann: I intend to unpack mine.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I'm Going To a Blogger Pajama Party!
No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are going to a blogger pajama party! (It's Blogger Beach Party Month, don't cha know.) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of Annette Funicello's hottest musical number from the beach movie, "Pajama Party"! (Break out the Cheetos, bloggers!)
Blue Gal and Kristi Love say that everyone is invited! I'm going to wear my Dr. Denton's with the convienient drop seat, of course. And the flannel footsies keep my toes warm! |
Labels: NTFBT3
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Rachel Maddow is Going to Get Her Own MSNBC TV Show!
Rachel Maddow is going to get her own MSNBC TV show!
Click here to watch Keith Olbermann officially start the Rachel Maddow Countdown on his TV show last night. Her show will follow Olbermann's program. Finally something worth watching between Olbermann and The Daily Show!
The Rachel Maddow Show Countdown!
Rachel Maddow will begin the roasting of Republican wienies and neocon marshmallows on her new show starting on September 9th!
"Her appointment is certain to draw criticism that MSNBC is moving further left in an attempt to compete with Fox News from the opposite end of the spectrum. John McCain's Republican campaign has repeatedly assailed the network's campaign coverage as biased." Washington Post
Monday, August 18, 2008
Young Sherlock Holmes
One of my favorite movies is the film, "Young Sherlock Holmes". When it first came out there was a computer generated sequence that involved one of the character's hallucination of a knight that pops out of a stained glass window that was unlike anything that I had ever seen on film before. (Unfortunately, I cannot find a video clip of this scene.) I watched the film on HBO over and over because of this one scene.
Another scene that I quite liked was the scene where a young Dr. Watson has a frightening drug-induced hallucination of a series of bakery goods that came to life. Here we see a picture of the beginning of the hallucination as an eclair is opening it's eyes for the first time...
Then all of the baked goods come to life...
And force young Watson to eat them!
Friday, August 15, 2008
swiftboater Jerome Corsi being debunked by Media Matters on Larry King
No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy celebrating the Blogger Beach Party by doing some seriously salacious swiftboating! In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of swiftboater Jerome Corsi being debunked by a Media Matters pundit while being interviewed by Larry King. You can also read about Corsi's book being debunked at barackobama.com, Media Matters [ 2 ] and Crooks & Liars.
Ack! Angry Ballerina has awarded me the Arte y pico Award!
Ack! Angry Ballerina has awarded me the Arte y pico Award!
The Rules
1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2. Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. The award winner and the presenter should post the link of the "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Please post these rules.
1. Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2. Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. The award winner and the presenter should post the link of the "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Please post these rules.
Thank you, Angry Ballerina!
Jeepers! Sister Mary Ellen has awarded me the "Kick Ass Blogger" Award!
Jeepers! Sister Mary Ellen has awarded me the "Kick Ass Blogger" Award!
1) Choose five other bloggers that you feel are "Kick Ass Bloggers"
2) Let them know that they have received an award.
3) Link back to both the person who awarded you and also to mammadawg.com
4) Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ to sign Mr. Linky and leave a comment.
2) Let them know that they have received an award.
3) Link back to both the person who awarded you and also to mammadawg.com
4) Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ to sign Mr. Linky and leave a comment.
Gosh thanks, Sister Mary Ellen!
Breaking News: Giant Inflatable Dog Poo Wreaks Havoc in Switzerland!
gawker.com: Flying American Poo Wreaks Havoc In Switzerland
environmentalgraffiti.com: Giant Poo Goes On Rampage in Swiss Capital
clitheroeadvertiser.co.uk: Giant inflatable dog poo cuts off electricity supply
ukpress.google.com: Giant dog poo wreaks havoc
telegraph.co.uk: Giant inflatable turd escapes moorings
gizmodo.com: Giant Inflatable Turd Terrorizes Swiss Town
ananova.com: Huge blow-up poo causes chaos
OK, I can't begin to top these headlines, but I do have a funny story:
I remember once that some birthday balloons got stuck in a ceiling fan when I worked at an animation studio that had very high ceilings, and somehow I got elected to go up and get them. The ladder wasn't tall enough, so I grabbed a giant prop pencil to help me reach the balloons.
As I climbed up the very unsteady ladder with the giant plastic pencil to get the balloons, one of my coworkers said, "I can just imagine what we will have to tell the paramedics when they ask us what happened. 'Oh, He fell off the rickety ladder and broke his neck when went to get the birthday balloons with the giant number two pencil.'"
I laughed so hard I almost fell off the ladder!
environmentalgraffiti.com: Giant Poo Goes On Rampage in Swiss Capital
clitheroeadvertiser.co.uk: Giant inflatable dog poo cuts off electricity supply
ukpress.google.com: Giant dog poo wreaks havoc
telegraph.co.uk: Giant inflatable turd escapes moorings
gizmodo.com: Giant Inflatable Turd Terrorizes Swiss Town
ananova.com: Huge blow-up poo causes chaos
OK, I can't begin to top these headlines, but I do have a funny story:
I remember once that some birthday balloons got stuck in a ceiling fan when I worked at an animation studio that had very high ceilings, and somehow I got elected to go up and get them. The ladder wasn't tall enough, so I grabbed a giant prop pencil to help me reach the balloons.
As I climbed up the very unsteady ladder with the giant plastic pencil to get the balloons, one of my coworkers said, "I can just imagine what we will have to tell the paramedics when they ask us what happened. 'Oh, He fell off the rickety ladder and broke his neck when went to get the birthday balloons with the giant number two pencil.'"
I laughed so hard I almost fell off the ladder!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
EXXON John's McCain-i-Os: Finally a Cereal That You Can Believe In!
Chock full of vitamins! (If you eat it with fruit.)
Enriched with calcium! (If you eat it with milk.)
Enhanced with carbohydrates! (If you eat it with toast.)
Loaded with fiber! (If you eat the box...)
Enriched with calcium! (If you eat it with milk.)
Enhanced with carbohydrates! (If you eat it with toast.)
Loaded with fiber! (If you eat the box...)
...And rich in iron - if you eat the spoon!
Some unsettling of campaign content may occur during shipping. Freshest if eaten before June, 1953. The candidate has been briefed on questions before the show. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or unnecessary declaration of war. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone that has not made substantial campaign donations. Not approved for veterans. This information is subject to change without notice. (Pull candidate's finger only in well-ventilated area.)
Do You Remember Karen Valentine?
No time for blogging today! I have to drop off a few things in town. (Ack! I'm as busy as a bee in August! I am afraid there shall be no naptime soon for this simian world leader from the future.) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video! It's the beginning credits for the television show, "Room 222." (Ack! Watch out for the door, Ms. Valentine!)
Monday, August 11, 2008
An Important Beijing 2008 Olympic Games Update
Greetings! Dr. Zaius here, bringing you an important Beijing 2008 Olympic Games update!
nbcolympics.com: Day 1: Beach volleyball action
nbcolympics.com: Day 2: Beach volleyball action
nbcolympics.com: Day 3: Beach volleyball action
nbcolympics.com: Fans enjoy beach party
nbcolympics.com: Dancing at the beach
nbcolympics.com: Sandy celebrations
nbcolympics.com: 10 women to watch
nbcolympics.com: 2007 Worlds: May-Treanor, Walsh
nbcolympics.com: Misty May-Treanor
Volleyball partners not equal in cyberspace (mistymay.com, kerriwalsh.com)
monstersandcritics.com: Beijing 2008 Olympic Games Beach Vollleyball
nbcolympics.com: Day 2: Beach volleyball action
nbcolympics.com: Day 3: Beach volleyball action
nbcolympics.com: Fans enjoy beach party
nbcolympics.com: Dancing at the beach
nbcolympics.com: Sandy celebrations
nbcolympics.com: 10 women to watch
nbcolympics.com: 2007 Worlds: May-Treanor, Walsh
nbcolympics.com: Misty May-Treanor
Volleyball partners not equal in cyberspace (mistymay.com, kerriwalsh.com)
monstersandcritics.com: Beijing 2008 Olympic Games Beach Vollleyball
The official 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games Women's Beach Volleyball cheerleaders!
Oh, and some idiot showed up without a ticket...
Caption this!
metro.co.uk: Bush spanks beach volleyball girl
nbcolympics.com: President hits court with May-Treanor, Walsh Share
latimes.com: Pres. Bush declines to slap Misty May-Treanor's bikinied butt
nbcolympics.com: President hits court with May-Treanor, Walsh Share
latimes.com: Pres. Bush declines to slap Misty May-Treanor's bikinied butt
Labels: Women's Beach Volleyball
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Olympic Women's Beach Volleyball!
No time for blogging today! As a matter of fact, I might be kind of busy all week. Just in time for the Blogger Beach Party, this week we have Women's Beach Volleyball at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games! For the latest Olympic Women's Beach Volleyball TV schedule information, go to NBCOlympics.com [ 2 ]
I find that I am lacking a certain something when it comes to sports on television. It was not a lack knowledge of these sports on my part that poses a problem, as my ignorance on any issue has never stopped me from making very opinionated statements on an entire range of subjects in the past. No, what is lacking on my part is... Interest.
I find that most sports leave me quite disinterested. I am not saying that watching grunting, sweaty men playing with their balls is not of interest to some - clearly there is an audience for that sort of thing. I am just attempting to point out that there is a sport that is far more interesting and exciting than this standard media fare. I am speaking of course of women's beach volleyball!
Even with only a rudimentary knowledge of the rules of the game, I find that I am still captivated by the vigorous serves, lively rallying and brightly colored costumes. I believe that the game far superior to any of the sports I commonly see on television. The game is so captivating, I don't even bother to keep score!
I find that I am lacking a certain something when it comes to sports on television. It was not a lack knowledge of these sports on my part that poses a problem, as my ignorance on any issue has never stopped me from making very opinionated statements on an entire range of subjects in the past. No, what is lacking on my part is... Interest.
I find that most sports leave me quite disinterested. I am not saying that watching grunting, sweaty men playing with their balls is not of interest to some - clearly there is an audience for that sort of thing. I am just attempting to point out that there is a sport that is far more interesting and exciting than this standard media fare. I am speaking of course of women's beach volleyball!
Even with only a rudimentary knowledge of the rules of the game, I find that I am still captivated by the vigorous serves, lively rallying and brightly colored costumes. I believe that the game far superior to any of the sports I commonly see on television. The game is so captivating, I don't even bother to keep score!
Labels: Women's Beach Volleyball
Friday, August 08, 2008
Tullycraft: "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini".
No time for blogging today! I am busy enjoying some of the wonderful beaches that Germaine Gregarious has been blogging about for the Blogger Beach Party. (Of course I can catch it my dear, it's only a coconut... Ouch!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of the band Tullycraft singing "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini". (Now, how are we supposed to milk these things? Coconuts don't have any nipples!)
My rival, Dr. Smith has been busy setting the stage for the upcoming battle of the bands and to see who will win the competition to be the King and Queen of the Beach! Also, to help set the proper mood, Swinebread has provided a swell beach party comic book cover.
My rival, Dr. Smith has been busy setting the stage for the upcoming battle of the bands and to see who will win the competition to be the King and Queen of the Beach! Also, to help set the proper mood, Swinebread has provided a swell beach party comic book cover.
Britney Spears, Undercover Agent of Media Obfuscation for the Republican Party
Top White house sources have revealed today what has long been suspected, Britney Spears is actually an Undercover Agent of Media Obfuscation for the Republican Party. Her lifelong assignment to distract the American media from the dark agenda of the GOP has been highly successful, and to date the effect that her career has taken on American news has only begun to be compiled. Below is a highly condensed timeline of Britney's many exploits...
Dec. 2, 1981: The GOP plan for Britney Spears' birth to be timed to coincide exactly with the Repatriation of the Canadian Constitution.
1993-1994: Spears recieves her initial secret GOP training from Cyrus Nowrasteh while she is a cast member on the Disney Channel's "The New Mickey Mouse Club," along with other future celebrities Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Canadian Ryan Gosling.
October 1998: In reaction to the election of Germany's New Chancellor, Gerhard Schroeder, and his liberal Green Coalition party taking office, Britney Spears releases the pro-Christian video "Baby One More Time".
Former defense secretary Clark M. Clifford, an adviser to both President Kennedy and President Johnson, is murdered the very same month.
To dispel rumors of inept decisions made by the White House during the months before the tragedy of 911, Britney faked her own death [ 2 ], using as a motive for her apparent self-immolation a recent "Worst Dressed Woman of 2000 Award" from parter in crime, Richard Blackwell, Hollywood's self-appointed fashion czar.
After murdering Liberal Democratic Ideology Situation Comedy actor John Ritter, Britney appeared on the MTV Video Music Awards [ 2 ] and gave a steamy mid-performance kiss with her middle-aged counterpart, Madonna, to help start the Republican anti-gay agenda build steam for the 2004 presidential election.
September 3, 2003: In response to the many godless actors and entertainers that had become outspoken critics of President George Bush, Spears issues a statement with the help of Special Agent Tucker Carlson. (For the record, Carlson is still officially not gay).
CARLSON: A lot of entertainers have come out against the war in Iraq. Have you?
SPEARS: Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.
CARLSON: Do you trust this president?
SPEARS: Yes, I do.
CARLSON: Excellent!
SPEARS: Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.
CARLSON: Do you trust this president?
SPEARS: Yes, I do.
CARLSON: Excellent!
Jan. 3, 2004: To quiet rumors about China's fifth-largest brokerage being seized by the China Securities Regulatory Commission, Spears cancels her Onyx Hotel Tour and weds "Seinfeld" star Jason Alexander in Las Vegas. The marriage is annulled 55 hours later, after China Southern Securities' activities are successfully clamped down.
Britney's wedding is also timed to discredit the BBC's socialist "Top of the Pops" television program for censoring it's Coca Cola sponsorship after criticism from politicians and health campaigners that it would be promoting "junk food". Britney's wedding in a Las Vegas drive-thru chapel is utilized by the Republican party to protect their corporate masters as an example of the awesome Christian value system that the GOP offers.
July 2004: Spears announces her engagement to Kevin Federline, whose former girlfriend is pregnant with their second child. They wed on Sept. 18, 2004 to coincide with the Senate vote on The Federal Marriage Amendment, a bid by members of the United States Republican Party to amend the United States Constitution to ban same-sex marriage in the United States. (Further details of their marriage can be found at this link.)
To dispel the idea that minimum wage should be raised and to help to cover up the connections between Enron and the White house, Britney releases her new television series that documents her courtship, "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" and features Spears eating Cheetos constantly.
Cheetos contain a mind-altering substance that sedates people into trusting the media - and also turns their fingers orange.
Britney's First son, Sean Preston, is born on Sept. 14, 2005 to overshadow the event of the President of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf shaking hands with the Prime Minister of Israel, Ariel Sharon, the first time such an encounter has been made in public. The birth of her son is instrumental in preventing an all out peace from breaking out in the Middle East.
February 2006: In an attempt to help quell public furor over the Dubai Ports Deal, Spears allowed paparazzi to photograph her driving while holding her son Sean Preston on her lap and not in a car seat. Public outcry over the Dubai Ports Deal is minimized as public outcry over Britney and her son's lack of car safety ensues. Mission accomplished!
To show her support for the morals of the Republican Party and the Religious Right, Britney becomes pregnant with her second child...
On the same day that the Democrats take the House and the Senate, Britney files for divorce from Kevin Federline. To help promote to the public the many uses of her corporate master's products, she delivers the news to Federline via text message.
...The media is abuzz with news of Britney second pregnancy, and rumors abound as to the paternity of the child...
On Sept. 12, 2006 Britney's second son, Jayden James, is born. Her second child's birth is meant to coincide with Colin Powell's 'resignation' eight days after President Bush's election to his second term.
In February 2007 Britney begins partying incessantly with future presidential candidate Paris Hilton to draw attention away from the Walter Reed Army Medical Center investigation.
To distract the American public from the Iraq war, and to show support for the troops, Britney appears in a series of paparazzi shots "commando style".
Britney managed to successfully draw the American public's attention away from President Bush's attempt to repeal of the Estate Tax and make his tax cuts permanent in the proposed 2008 budget by leaving rehab and shaving her head bald and attacking a photographer with an umbrella.
in September 2007, Britney launched her comeback to coincide with the Pentagon's remewal of Blackwater's Contract to the tune of $92 Million, despite Blackwater USA's fatal shooting of 11 Iraqi civilians. Britney mades sure that she mirrored the administration's performance in Iraq in her performance on the MTV Video Music Awards, that is to say she was uncoordinated, lackluster and bafflingly inept.
As a highly trained secret agent, Britney is a master of disguise - able to modify her appearance and take on the semblence of many negative female stereotypes, including everything from a spoiled child star brat to a teen trollup to a doughy, pasty faced harpy to a tired Hollywood washup to a psycho child star has-been.
The full details of Britney Spears' involvement in the pro-Republican obfuscation of the media are still being revealed, and we can expect the full story to come out in due time. Some details may never come to light, however...