When Superman Gets Creepy...

 
 

Honey Cone

 

Want Ads 1970 [ 2, 3 ] One Monkey Don't Stop No Show While You're Out Looking For Sugar Stick Up (Clip)

We Belong Together Girls It Ain't Easy The Day I Found Myself Aquarius

Wikipedia: Honey Cone

 

Liberal Media Takes a Beating

 

Late-night talk show host Charlie Rose been beaten up by the evil Dr. Monkerstein, over a computer!

 

Blog Against Theocracy is This Weekend!

 

I have assigned my army of virtuous, god-fearing marshmallow theologians to remind you that Blue Gal's upcoming blogswarm Blog Against Theocracy is this Easter Weekend, March 21-23! This is a subject that is truly close to my heart. As both the Minister of Science and the Chief Defender of the Faith of Ape City, I'm all about theocracy, baby!

Hallelujah! Wearing the officially sanctified royal purple dye #2 sugar coating, these pious Peeps are filled with sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, and the rich creamy goodness of the Almighty, Omnipotent Marshmallow Filling! All hail their Holy Peepness! Hallowed be the joyous delight of their divine confectionery squishyness.

 

Just a Quick Note...

 

Get to know your local librarian - Liberality!

Anaïs Nohant just lived through a tornado! [ 2 ]

Freida Bee has a Froodle Bonanza! [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

Becca has a whole collection of "The Last Suppers of Pop Culture" and a couple of really cool drawings that she did of super girls and The Munsters!

Cap'n Dyke has found the Holy Grail of chess!

Jess Wundrun goes Jacques Cousteau and jumps out of airplanes!

Angry Ballerina has an interesting story about a friend of hers.

Swinebread has met Nova!

Germaine Gregarious explains Hilary Clinton's latest meme.

Splothcy waxes poetic about the complicated logic of memeing and rememeing.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator played percussion in junior high and high school.

Liberality has a put on a Peep show!

MWB has two great Archie posts: [ 1, 2 ]

(And there is a bunch more, but I have to go take a nap now...)

 

Think of All of Those Poor Snakes...

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

If you go to Jess Wundrun's blog, she has a delightful history of the three saints that American's are celebrating today, but she fails to point out the most important event that happens on St. Patrick's Day...

Late at night on St. Patrick's Day, the Irish Pork Fairy visits all of the good Catholic boys and girls! If you cover yourself in horseradish before you go to bed, and put a full plate of corned beef and cabbage under your pillow, in the morning the Irish Pork Fairy will grant you three wishes!

Stock up on horseradish!

 

Giant Killer Bunnnies!

 

"Night of the Lepus" trailer! [ 2 ] Giant killer bunnnies attack! Giant killer bunnnies stampede! "Night of the Lepus" review in English!

The rise of the giant killer bunny! The giant killer bunny scream! Giant killer bunnies final scene! "Night of the Lepus" review in German!

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy finalizing our recent purchase of some giant killer bunnnies! (Boy are they hungry, and you would not believe what they did to the sofa!) In the meantime, you can watch these swell giant killer bunny video clips from the documentary film, "The Night of the Lepus"!

 

That Really is My Middle Name!

 

Angry Ballerina has inflicted the Middle Name Meme upon yours truly. The rules are as follows:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don’t have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother’s maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged.)

I submit the following:

C is for Certitude, of which I'm ambiguous.
H is for Hubris, which I am certainly full of.
O is for Old, which I am tired of getting.
C is for Coffee, whis is manna from Heaven.
O is for Opinionated, a trait which I foster.
L is for Lagomorph, the most delightful of creatures.
A is for Albatross, a garment that I seem to be wearing.
T is for my pet Tarantula, that ate Leo G. Carrol.
E is for Ectoplasm, which is a most troublesome houseguest.
C is for Cleaning, which my kitchen is needing.
A is for Anti-matter, which I left simmering on the stove.
K is for Kraken, who almost killed my good friend Dr. Nemo, and...
E is for Experimental Surgery, which I perform on select human brains.

I tag the following victims: Pissed Off Patricia, Pidomon, Comrade Kevin, Devilham and Perpetual Dawnne.

Might I suggest that you do not use your actual middle name or mother's maiden name but instead make up an imaginary one, because either piece of information can be used as yet another way for identity thieves, hackers, flim-flamners, scam artists and stalkers to glean further information about you. (My apologies to all of my Nigerian spammer readers.)

 

The Book Meme

 

This is a picture of two rats, Mr. and Mrs. Whiskers, making Tom Kitten into a roly-poly pudding.

Aunt Dahlia has tagged me with the Book Meme. The instrctions for this meme are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The book that was closest to me happened to be "Tales of Peter Rabbit and his Friends" by Beatrix Potter. I love the illustrations and the dark humor that Potter often injects into the stories. And old girlfriend gave the book to me years ago. (she also gave me a fine rabbit that was named Rabbitoid.) On Page 123 is the story of "The Roly-poly Pudding," an exciting tale of young Tom Kitten, who is almost made into a roly-poly pudding by two rats, Mr. Samuel Whiskers and his wife Anna Maria.

At this point in the story, two cats are discussing catching and eating baby rats. Page 123, 5th sentence of the book "Tales of Peter Rabbit and his Friends" by Beatrix Potter:

"I caught seven young ones out of one hole in the back kitchen, and we had them for dinner last Saturday. And once I saw the old father rat - and enormous old rat - Cousin Ribby. I was going to jump on him when he showed his yellow teeth at me and whisked down the hole."

"The Rats get upon my nerves, Cousin Ribby," Said Tabitha.

I don't like most children's books as a rule, but I love the classics: Lewis Carrol, Hans Christian Anderson, Beatrix Potter, Aesop's Fables, Grimm's Fairy Tales, etc. I think that many people forget how delightfully horrific and gruesome they are. And the illustrations are often macabre masterpieces!

I tag FranIAm, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, Darkblack, Liberality and Germaine Gregarious.

 

The Minimalist Meme

 

M.Yu has tagged me for the minimalist memoir. (caution, his blog is for adults only! Definitely not work safe.)

Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My submission is as follows:

"Mmm... chocolate cake? Two slices, please!"

I inflict this meme on the following bloggers: I, Splotchy, Kirby, Dean Wormer, Aunt Dahlia and The Ardent Thread (Kimono Hime) ( 2, 3 ).

 

Banana-Fana Fo-Feme, Fee-Fi-Mo-Feem, Me-eme!

 

I, Splotchy has threatened that harm will come to innocent puppies if I do not play along with his terrorist meme scheme, so I am forced to comply. After all, the presidential campaign of Zaius/Gregarious is all about puppies and kittens, rainbows and moonbeams, and of course Happy Underpants! So I am compelled to submit the following drivel against my will:

Meme Rules:

1. Tag one to many persons by doing the name game song on their Blogger name (their first name, if they have one).

2. Tell your tagged, name-gamed bloggers that they will have to continue the Name Game meme, or innocent puppies will be [make up something suitably awful].

Splotchy states that if you don't comply with the profane meme, puppies will be jettisoned from the International Space Station without puppy space helmets! The only thing preventing this terrible tragedy from being enacted is the ungodly continuation of this meme!

My meme victims tagees:

Freida, Freida, bo-breida,
Banana-fana fo-reida
Fee-fi-mo-mreida
Freida!

Monkey, Monkey, mo-bonkey,
Banana-fana fo-funky
Fee-fi-mo-monkey
Monkerstein!

Kelly, Kelly, bo-belly,
Banana-fana fo-felly
Fee-fi-mo-melly
Kelly!

Angry, Angry, bo-bangry,
Banana-fana fo-fangry
Fee-fi-mo-mangry
Angry!

Randal, Randal, bo-bandal,
Banana-fana fo-fandal
Fee-fi-mo-mandal
Randal!

 

What Happened To George

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy buttering up the margarine of error in the latest polls. (Let's have a toast to that! Two slices, please.) In the meantime, you can find out what happened to George when you watch this swell video clip from the movie, "Scary Movie 3"!

 

Knit Daleks

 

Knit Daleks for Samurai Frog. From Penwiper Unlimited, via Blue Gal.

 

Meme-ing is Such Sweet Sorrow, That I Shall Say Goodnight 'Till it be Morrow

 

Randal Graves has tagged me for the "Seven Things Meme." I would like to thank him wholeheartedly by saying Votre calligraphie est atroce et vous vous habillez dans la manière d'une prostituée mâle, Randal. The rules of the meme are as follows:

List seven random things about yourself that people may not know.

Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.

Post the rules on your blog.

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So without further ado, I submit the following:

My sister is not only intelligent and ambitious, she looks like Ophelie Winter, one of the stars of the Leslie Nielsen film, "2001: A Space Travesty." She thinks my blog is silly.



I play chess with my sister over the internet. We always have at least two games going on at a time. We use a MS Word file that I created that we email back and forth. We also play incessantly when see each other on the holidays. (We have fun with some of the filenames: chessorama.doc, chessarooni.doc, chessalicious.doc, chesshire_cat.doc, chess-a-doodle.doc, chessboyrdee.doc, etc...)

I find intelligent women attractive.

I have never been married and have no children. I have had live-in girlfriends, but none of them were ever stupid enough to marry me. I once ran a personal ad in the local paper that read, "Attention Vultures! I haven't moved in 24 hours. I smoke, I drink and I won't eat my vegetables." I did not get many responses. (I no longer smoke nor drink, and I have even been known to eat vegetables on occasion. Except brussel sprouts.)

I live in a quaint little house. Click here to see pictures of Casa de Zaius, which I bought for less than the cost of most new cars.



I don't like most westerns and cop movies. I don't like to watch sports, except women's volleyball. Even then, I don't bother to keep score.

I have a modest collection of small robot toys.

And there you have it! The Seven Things Meme! I am now officially inflicting this malevolent meme on the following bloggers: Comrade Kevin, BAC, Jess Wundrun, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, Madam Z, MWB, and Swinebread.

 

Alert the Media! MWB's World Has Moved!

 

It's time to readjust your blogroll scopes! MWB's World has moved! He has gone from the world of LiveJournal.com to Blogger.com! Have no fear, because he promises that he will continue to deliver the same level of rich creamy disembodied-brain-in-a-jar pop culture goodness as he has in the past. (In other words, it's going to be the same old disembodied brains in a new jar.) Remember, MWB's World is also the home of presidential candidate Dr. Smith, and his running mate Marcia Brady. Why not stop by and welcome him to the world of Blogger!

 

If the Only Tool You Have is a Blog, You Tend to see Every Problem as a Post

 

In the last post by Pissed Off Patricia of Morning Martini she complains that her home computer "threw a fit," and had to post from her father's office. At the same time I read this, I noticed that the first comment in the post previous to this one had a link that had been altered using tinyurl.com, which is a great way to make a long URL shorter, but it's also a way of redirecting or hiding an actual location. When I clicked on this link it immediately tried to install spyware. I have a suspicion that the spyware from this link might have been the cause of Pissed Off Patricia's computer problems, but I don't know for sure. Anyway, I am reposting this message about great tools that you can get for free for your computer, including anti-virus and anti-spyware programs.

Having the right tools for the job is mandatory for any project. This is just a brief list of some great free programs that you can get on the internet. Most of these sites want to sell you their program (and who can blame them), and so you have to wade through their ads for their not-free version sometimes. I have tried to give a direct link to the specific download when possible. You may already have some of these programs or an equivalent to them.

IrfanView: This is just a neat little graphics program. It is not like Photoshop or anything, but it is great for viewing photos and cropping and resizing images. It has a lot of other great features too! I use it all of the time just to look at images on my hard drive. At college I used to download all of the time instead of using the college's crappy software. You can download it from one of the sites listed at this link. (Select a link from the middle of the page, though. the ones at the top might be slow because everybody else is going there.) On the fly? Try this online utility.

NoteTab Light: This is the best text editor ever. You can keep multiple pages open at the same, strip HTML tags, and align and format text really quickly. It comes with more libraries of text macros then you will ever use! You can also create your own macros in seconds. It does not have spell checker nor does it have WYSIWYG properties, however. (Just use this for spell checking.) I feel that this is the easiest and most functional text and HTML editor ever. Expensive programs like Dreamweaver pale compared to NoteTab when editing code.

The Font Thing: I hate to look at fonts because I always have so much fun playing around with them that I lose track of the time and spend hours just poring over them. I also collect fonts, and I have so many that I can't begin to keep track of them. Luckily, Sue Fisher create this great program called The Font Thing! I've tried at least a dozen other similar programs, but this one is the best by far. You can easily browse installed and uninstalled fonts, view sample text and individual characters, Change sample text "on the fly", Install or uninstall any number of fonts at once, Load (and unload) any number of fonts for temporary use, and group fonts into collections for easier management. You can download the The Font Thing at download.com, and you can get a feel for the program at this great free tutorial.

AVG Anti-Virus: Why pay for a crappy anti-virus program when you can get a really good anti-virus program free? The 500 pound gorillas that have cornered the market on anti-virus software are Mcafee, Norton and Symantec. All of these programs eat memory, cause major connectivity problems and are as intrusive as hell. The only reason they are popular is that they have cornered the market on advertising and distribution. Don't trust a review of any of these programs from any computer magazine, these anti-virus companies have these periodicals in their pocket. Read online forums for the real info. You can download the free version of AVG at this link: AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition.

Ad-Aware: Ad-aware is a great anti-spyware program. It is easy to install and use. You can download it free from this link. Another great anti-spyware program is Spybot Search & Destroy, but it is lot trickier and harder to understand. It is great for finding those really weird malicious programs like "about:blank", but you can get yourself into some real trouble with this program if you make a mistake. I would not start editing your registry unless you really know what the heck are doing! Ad-aware can be used for almost every spyware problem. Don't use Spybot unless you are in a real jam.

ZoneAlarm: A good firewall that is easy to use. Just tell it which things to block and not to block. Read the directions before you start worrying why you can't get online! If you find that you have lost connectivity in any case, always turn off your firewall first before you start freaking out, that might be the problem. Of course a router is a better defense, but you can download ZoneAlarm for free at this link.

Firefox: It is actually smart to write your HTML for Internet Explorer, because that is still what most people use. But you should still check your code in both browsers. (Please do not tell me that Firefox is better than IE, they are both really annoying.) Another really good reason to have Firefox is that if you get a Trojan Horse or some such thing, it might block your browser from getting onto the internet. Then you are unable to look up or download the fix if you need to. If you don't have two browsers, you have to go to a different computer to look it up. Adware and spyware is not only being written for Internet Explorer anymore, some is directed at Firefox and even Safari.

Let me just add the Quick Media Converter from Cocoon Software for quick conversions of video and media formats.

 

What Was On TV Last Night

 

Nancy Drew Trailer

Nancy Drew's Secret Identity

Last night I watched "Nancy Drew" on VOD. (I think that Dr. Monkerstein had given the film a thumbs up, but I was unable to find his review when I looked for it.)

Right off the bat, let me say that there were not nearly enough miniskirts and go go boots in this film to suit my tastes. (Although Ms. Drew's stripey party dress was hilarious.) Nancy Drew is supposed to be old enough to drive a car in the film, but the actress looks like she is about twelve years old and needs to eat on a more regular basis. This is a kids film, so you have to check your prurient interests at the door.

The premise of the film was Ferris Buehler for girls, with a combination of Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo/Mystery Inc. thrown in. (perhaps it's the other way around, probably both genres stole from the original Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys mysteries to a degree.) It also had many aspect's of the classic Hayley Mills film Pollyanna as well.

It was actually refreshing to see a female lead who was smarter than all of the other characters, and who's purpose in the script is not directly related to being a lover, wife or mother. Not that those are not noble roles in life, but rarely do we see women playing any other kind of role.

The only complaint might be that the other female roles in the film are intentionally dumbed down to make Nancy Drew look smart and men are basically characterized as dimwitted and ineffective, but this not a drama. It is a tongue-in-cheek comedy, so it's OK to turn the tables on the stereotypes. It actually part of what makes it interesting.

The main joy of the film is from the smarmy and campy dialog. I usually sit at the computer while I'm watching TV, so I'm doing two things at once. I found myself constantly stopping the VOD and rewinding to catch the dialog, "What! Did they really say that?" My favorite lines were when Corky said, "courtesy is so awsome, I'm really into it," and when Inga said, "That's so non-linear."

Nancy Drew on evil villians:

Nancy Drew: It really gets my goat when someone trys to kill me. It's so rude!

Nancy Drew on terrorism:

Nancy Drew: Excuse me, I have to defuse this bomb.

Nancy Drew on performing a tracheotomy:

Nancy Drew: I need a knife and a ball point pen. I'd like to remind everyone that unless you have advanced emergency medical training, you must never attempt this on your own.

Nancy Drew on romance:

Nancy Drew: Ned can I ask you a question?

Ned Nickerson: Uhm...

Nancy Drew: Can you tell when a girl looks at you and is thinking how much she likes you and is wondering if you like her and thinking how important it is for you to say how you feel before she says anything more about how she feels about you or anyone else they might be jealous of because she's already said how she feels how she's said in her own way?

Ned Nickerson: Uh, can you repeat the question?

Most disturbing line in the film:

Nancy Drew: Hey guys, we're having a taffy pull later!

 

The Zaius Nation Ladies Home Auxiliary!

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy training the new recruits for the Ladies Home Auxiliary! In the meantime, you can watch this swell video that I made that answers the question posed by Hillary Clinton, "When the call comes at 3 a.m. in the White House, who do you want answering the phone?"

 

Politics makes strange bedfellows

 

While Germaine Gregarious and I have been staying in some quality hotels and delightful motor lodges during road trips for our campaign...

...It would seem that Dr. Monkerstein has been "delivering pizza" to the Lincoln Bedroom!

 

Client Number 9

 

It's about time a Democrat got caught in a sex scandal. I was begining to lose faith in the whole party!