Happy New Year!

 
 

When Snowmen Go Bad...

 

Snowman Gone Wild! The Winter Icon as an Alcohol Pitchman

 

The Greatest Ninja Kitty EVER!

 

No time for blogging today! I am going to have dinner with Germaine Gregarious. She said that we were going to have poultry. (for cocktails we had White Russians without ice, vodka, Kahlua or a glass. Come to think of it, it was a saucer of milk!) In the meantime, you can watch this swell video of the greatest ninja kitty EVER.

 

Congratualtions, Blue Gal!

 

Blue Gal has been nominated for "Best Liberal Blog" at the 2008 Weblog Awards!

 

The Reign of Error is Coming to a Close...

 

Now that Christmas is over, we can all be eternally grateful that the president will be leaving office in less than a month...

And we are going to get rid of that other guy, too!

 

I Hope That Everybody Got What They Wanted For Christmas!

 

I hope that everybody got what they wanted for Christmas! Germaine Gregarious got me a swell new mini-jet and a complete set of left-handed monkey wrenches (standard and metric), and I got her this swell arachnid coffee table! Just the thing for those holiday get-togethers. It not only catches houseflys, but it can follow you when your guests have you climbing the wall! It did get cobwebs all over the Christmas tree, however...

 

Elaan of Troyius

 

Although the third season of the original Star Trek series provided us with some very forgettable programs, I have always been fond of the third season episode, Elaan of Troyius.

Although the title refers to Helen of Troy, the story is actually a retelling of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew - with the lovely France Nuyen as the shrewish Katherina, William Shatner as the Petruchio, DeForest Kelley as Tranio, Leonard Nimoy and James Doohan as Gremio and Hortensio, the late Majel Barrett as Lucentio, and the fair Nichelle Nichols as Bianca.

Remember, if you touch the tears of an Elasian woman, you will be in love with her forever! Unless you are the captain of a starship, of course.

 

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

 

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

 

A Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer.

 

No time for blogging today! We have finally got most of the Christmas ornaments up on the west wing. Now for the entry hall! But before we tackle that project, I wanted to take this extra christmasy moment to share with you a particular Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer. I am sure that you will agree that the message conveyed is certainly a most accurate portrayal of the Christmas season as we celebrate it here in the United States.

 

Holiday Special: "Invaders from the Ice World!"

 

Invaders from the Ice World! via Lady, That's My Skull.

 

The Latest News From Wasilla, Alaska

 

For political reasons, I love the story about the mother of the soon to be husband of the daughter of Sarah Palin getting arrested on drug charges. But as much as I want to be snarky about it, I feel bad for the kids. Gov. Palin's daughter, Bristol, is due to give birth this weekend. This must be very embarassing for her. And as far as her fiance is concerned, it must be awful for him knowing that his mom might go to jail.

 

Across The Universe

 

All My Loving All You Need Is Love And I Love Her (Deleted Scene) Blackbird Don't Let Me Down Happiness Is a Warm Gun Helter Skelter Hold Me Tight I Want To Hold Your Hand I Want You/She's So Heavy If I fell

I am The Walrus I've Just Seen A Face Let It Be Lucy In The Sky Mr. Kite Oh Darling Revolution Something Strawberry Fields Forever While My Guitar Gently Weeps With A little help from my friends

Across the Universe Trailer [ 2 ]

I just recently saw the film, Across The Universe [ 2 ], and I really enjoyed it. The movie didn't have a great story or anything, but this film isn't about the story, or the actors - or even the music. It is all about the images, the art direction, the photography, the lighting, and the sets. It is was you would call a "visually rich" film.

The story is punctuated by several different Beatles tunes, each acting more or less as and individual vignette or microcosm that in many cases does not adhere to a general theme. This gives the film kind of a choppy uneven quality, but I think that this factor made the film more interesting. Several of these vignettes are quite striking and surrealistic, most notably "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" and "Strawberry Fields Forever".

It has always been my opinion that an image can express an emotion far better than many pages of dialogue, and communicate with the audience on a much deeper level than in film, bad images will quickly kill a good story, but good images will elevate even a bad story to new heights that the author hadn't conveyed with the written word.

Imagine if Star Wars had been produced with the same level of visual as the original Battlestar Galactica, I doubt that people would be talking about what a wonderful story it was, despite the cheesiness of the art direction. If the film Alien had been produced with the same level of art direction as It Conquered the World, it would have been just another cheesy science fiction movie.

That said, even though images in film may convey more than dialogue, or in some cases more than the story itself - the script is still the most integral part of any film. But sometimes I can enjoy watching a film just for the pretty pictures.

 

Sno Wovel Your Cares Away!

 

After a brief initial testing phase, I can now formally endorse the Sno Wovel. Although it's price is a bit steep, this wonderful device is worth every penny. It cuts the amout of time that you spend shoveling snow by about two thirds, and with far less effort than the traditional snow shovel. It is amazing how much easier it is to use the Sno Wovel than it is to bend and stoop to shovel snow. It is as easy to use uphill as it is downhill! (This is not a paid endorsement.)

My one complaint is the assembly of the device. Although I can tell from photos on the internet that the wheel used to come in one part, it now comes in two parts. I am assuming that they now save on shipping because it can now be sent in a smaller box.

Putting the wheel together is not so bad, but the rubber "tire" is a long piece of rubber that wraps around the wheel, with a long slot on it's underside that corresponds to a lip that goes around the outside of the wheel. The "tire" is then supposed to be held in place by this really stupid locking mechanism. Try as I might, I could not get the piece of rubber to fit all the way around the wheel and fit into the really stupid locking mechanism. When I looked at the directions again, I noticed that it said in very small type "70° Fahrenheit".

I found this rather annoying, as I was on the back porch and it was about 40° outside. (I put it together before it snowed.) I then hit upon the brilliant idea of warming it up in the microwave! This actually worked quite well, and the piece of rubber now fit. (My cat got very angry at the odor of freshly cooked burnt rubber in the kitchen and stalked off in disgust, however.)

I thought that assembly of the device was overly time consuming, but once I used it I was completely sold! The Sno Wovel is the only way to clear the driveway.

Gemaine Gregarious got the combination speargun and grenade launcher version, of course.

 

7 Things Meme

 

Terry at Urantian Sojourn has tagged me with a meme.

The rules:

1. List these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.

3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.

Fact #1. I can not only wiggle my ears, but I can wiggle one of them independently of the other.

Fact #2. I love pizza.

Fact #3. I had read every James Bond book by Ian Fleming by the age of twelve, as well as Frankenstein and Dracula. Although Frankenstein is my favorite story, Mary Wolstencraft shelley's writing is kind of longwinded and thick for my tastes.

Fact #4. I have never read Moby Dick.

Fact #5. I have a crush on Janeane Garofalo and Amy Walter. "Am I the only nerd that has a crush on Amy Walter? When she says the word 'gerrymander,' it makes me want to appoint a special counsel to the UN. She can hold a special election in my district any day."

Fact #6. I can't find my good shoes. They have gotta be around here somewhere.

Fact #7. I still haven't bothered to figure out many of the features on my cell phone.

I hereby infect these folks:

BAC, FranIAm, Lee Bradley, Tengrain, Utah Savage, Some Guy and Pidomon.

 

Splotchy's Story Meme, Version 1

 

Freida Bee has tagged me with Splotchy's story meme:

Here's what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don't know how realistic it is, but that's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out.

If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it's okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that's five interesting threads the story spins off into.

Not a requirement, but something your readers would appreciate: to help people trace your own particular thread of the narrative, it will be helpful if you include links to the chapters preceding yours. Splotchy

The Apple

The bus was more crowded than usual. It was bitterly cold outside, and I hadn't prepared for it. I noticed that a fair number of the riders were dressed curiously. As I glanced around, I stretched my feet and kicked up against a large, heavy cardboard box laying under the seat in front of me. (Splotchy)

I couldn't believe my eyes. Surrepticiously, I tried to establish, without giving it away, if anyone else had seen what I had. For ten years I had been looking for that box. What looked like an ordinary cardboard box to most contained something most precious. Only by the small golden "P" was I able to identify what I was looking at. (Freida Bee)

My heart leapt into my throat with anticipation as my mind leapt to the inevitable conclusion as to the origin of the box, and so I decisively leapt to my feet to claim my newly found, long lost prize! Quick as a bunny I tucked the precious box under my arm and rang the buzzer to get off at the next stop. I could feel the warmth of the regurgitative quasi-pietic spandrels right through my jacket as my long lost apparatus' sinusoidal vaneshaft quietly trilled, "pocketa pocketa pocketa..." Finally, the missing device was mine once again! (Zaius)

I hereby infect these folks:

Karla, Pookey Shoehorn, Dean Wormer, ThoughtCriminal, and Germaine Gregarious.

(Remember, you may be infected more than once.)

 

Dean Wormer's Meme

 

Dean Wormer has infected me with a meme:

1. Five names you go by: Zaius, Minister of Science, Chief Protector of the Faith, Doctor and "Scruffy McApplesauce."

2. Three things you are wearing right now: Long underwear, two pairs of socks and Happy Underpants!

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment: The end of Winter and the beginning of Spring.

4. Three people who will probably fill this out: MWB, Jess Wundrun and DCup.

5. Two things you did last night: Watched Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow.

6. Two things you ate today: Chocolate cake and ice cream.

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone: Dr. Pretorius and General Ursus.

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow: Shovel Sno Wovel snow off of the driveway, and freeze my butt off.

9. Two longest car rides: As time is relative, I would say that being in the back seat with someone that is really annoying is probably the longest car ride that you can be a part of.

10. Two of your favorite beverages: Coffee with milk, and water with a twist of ice cube.

 

Splotchy's Story Meme, Version 2

 

Dguzman has tagged me with Splotchy's story meme:

Here's what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don't know how realistic it is, but that's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out.

If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it's okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that's five interesting threads the story spins off into.

Not a requirement, but something your readers would appreciate: to help people trace your own particular thread of the narrative, it will be helpful if you include links to the chapters preceding yours. Splotchy

The Apple

The bus was more crowded than usual. It was bitterly cold outside, and I hadn't prepared for it. I noticed that a fair number of the riders were dressed curiously. As I glanced around, I stretched my feet and kicked up against a large, heavy cardboard box laying under the seat in front of me. (Splotchy)

I couldn't believe my eyes. Surrepticiously, I tried to establish, without giving it away, if anyone else had seen what I had. For ten years I had been looking for that box. What looked like an ordinary cardboard box to most contained something most precious. Only by the small golden "P" was I able to identify what I was looking at. (Freida Bee)

How the box got here, or how I happened to be on this bus with it now--these questions were immaterial. I just had to get that box. The bus slowed to a stop, so I steadied myself. Just as I was about to make a grab for the box, however, it moved. Someone else was picking it up to take it away! I had to stop her! (Dguzman)

"Ack!" I expclaimed. "Unhand my box, Madam!" But my woeful cry was to no avail as the woman with my box had already turned her back to me, and was quickly walking down the aisle towards the door. Oh, cruel fate! The woman with my box was escaping! I hastily grabbed my valise and nudged my way past the other passengers to get to the front of the bus. (Zaius)

I hereby infect these folks:

Terry, Freida Bee, Okjimm, Bubs, Kulkuri, Patrick H. (AKA sunandheir), and Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator.

(Remember, you may be infected more than once.)

 

This Press Conference Is Officially Size Eleven and a Half

 

Every one is talking about the recent news conference where President Bush's foreign policy was finally explained to him in a manner that was befitting of his own actions. On the other hand, I don't see what the big deal is - it's not like the scenery has really changed. Bush has had his foot in his mouth for ages.

 

Ack! BAC over at Yikes has created the most awesome video ever!

 

Ack! BAC over at Yikes has createded the most awesome video ever!

 

You Might as Well Take My Name Off of It....

 
 

Recent news regarding the Zaius and Monkerstein's Simian Secret Santa...

 

Federal Court Rules Against South Carolina's 'Christian' License Plate

 

Score one for the good guys! Americans United for Separation of Church and State sponsored litigation in Federal Court to stop the state of South Carolina from issuing specialty Christian themed license plates featuring a cross, a stained-glass window and the words "I Believe." Yesterday U.S. District Judge Cameron McGowan Currie issued a preliminary injunction forbidding the state to issue or manufacture the plates.

The measure that authorized the special plates was passed unanimously by both houses of South Carolina's legislature, despite the fact that some of the legislators openly admitted that they would not vote for similar plates for minority faiths.

But even that sort of misses the point. The crux of the matter is not really whether or not all churches are represented, although even that issue could become troublesome. The specialty license plate looked like this:

Which clearly depicts a Christian image. Now, if you were going to start making licence plates for all religions, you would eventually have to make license plates for everyone...

The Flying Spaghetti Monster...

The Church of the SubGenius...

Scientology...

The Church of Dick Cheney...

But that's not the point. The state of South Carolina is not supposed to be promoting any religion, because of federal laws that are based on the Constitution of the United States. The state is not supposed to be advocating any religion.

If a citizen wants to put a message of some sort on their car, they can buy a bumper sticker, but it is against the founding principals of this fine country for the DMV to put religious symbols and messages on your license plate.

For more information on the subject, visit the Americans United for Separation of Church and State website, or I found this great video of Rev. Lynn discussing the subject on the O'Reilly Factor. Hee hee!

Hmm... No, it's still wrong!

 

Bah! Governor Blagojevich is a Knucklehead Mcspazatron

 

I am shocked and appalled at the behavior of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's
failed attempt to sell one of his state's senate seats to the highest bidder...

Certainly my campaign would never do anything so blatantly inappropriate or unseemly.

 

Know Your Party...

 

Know Your Party...

 

Fictional Flags

 

Fictional Flags

 

Jumbo Flowchart of Deviant Desires & Fetishes

 

Jumbo Flowchart of Deviant Desires & Fetishes via Essays & Effluvia

 

A Very Strange Classroom in Japan

 

No time for blogging today! I am too busy hard boiling my latest assignment as a private investigator! (It's a fitting vocation for me, I suppose. People have often mistaken me for a 'dick'.) While I'm helping Ms. Hathaway find her missing lawn sprinkler, you can watch this swell video of a very strange classroom in Japan. (I am not exactly sure why being a private investigator means that I have to wear a trenchcoat and fedora and walk around in the dark in sunglasses. The coat is far too warm, and I keep bumping into things!)

 

Media Doldrums

 

After the election, the newspaper just hasn't been very exciting.

The funny pages are the only interesting part of the paper...

Of course, I'm sticking to the classics!

 

EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson Thinks That God Loves the Corporations

 

Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson willingly endorsed the Bush administration's push to put business interests ahead of his agency's mission to "to protect human health and the environment." An extended profile of Johnson published Sunday by the Philadelphia Inquirer reveals that the evangelical Johnson is unwilling — or unable — to separate religion from science. [...]

When questioned by reporters, Johnson admitted he does not distinguish a "clean-cut division" between religion and science:

"It's not a clean-cut division. If you have studied at all creationism vs. evolution, there's theistic or God-controlled evolution and there's variations on all those themes." Think Progress

The part that I am having trouble wrapping my head around is how this guy can think that it is God's will to do the awful things he has done. For example, he endorsed having pesticide experiments funded by the chemical industry, performed on human subjects. One of these programs that was implemeted, the Children's Environmental Exposure Research Study (CHEERS), was performed on low-income children in Florida.

The study was designed to examine how children may be exposed to "pesticides and other chemicals used in U.S. households, such as phthalates, brominated flame retardants, and perfluorinated compounds." [ 1 ] EPA scientists collected urine samples and the subjects, all children under the age of 13 months, would wear a watch-sized sensor for one week each month. Participating families were to be given $970, a video camera, a CHEERS T-shirt, a calendar, a framed Certificate of Appreciation and a baby bib.

The two-year study began in the summer of 2004, but was halted in November of that year because Stephen Johnson was derailed in his Senate confirmation for the job of Environmental Protection Agency Administrator. Democrats in congress put a public hold on his nomination because of the CHEERS study, and Johnson canceled the project.

As bad as this all sounds, the CHEERS program merely paid families that already used pesticides to monitor their children in an already pesticide laden environment. There is the general creepiness of testing human subjects, but I have performed more than my share of lobotomies on humans, so I can relate to this one point. The study was also criticized because the subjects that were used were disproportionately black, lower-income families. (I have always found that lobotomies are best performed on Republican senators, as they have less to lose and generally do not notice any difference.)

What was really made the CHEERS study such an egregious 'mistake' was that it was partially funded by the American Chemistry Council, a lobbying group. As the results of this study would have directly affected the rules created by the EPA on these substances, the chemical industry would literally have a vested interest in the outcome. This would have created something of a conflict of interest, of course.

In the end the EPA canceled residential use of some of the pesticides that CHEERS was to study based on potential harm to infants and children, and Johnson got his Bush-appointed job as head of the EPA. The EPA has cancelled residential use of some of the pesticides that the CHEERS program was to study, citing potential harm to infants and children.

We all know what has happened to EPA over the last eight years, and we largely have Johnson to thank for at east four years of it. My question is how can this fellow claim to have such a close relationship with God, when he has ruined our drinking water, abandoned rules protecting children and workers from lead paint, violated the Endangered Species Act and a host of other crimes against the very things that one would assume that God would hold dear?

 

Newt Gingirch On Gay Fascism

I am not sure that I understand exactly what Newt Gingrich means when he talks about gay facism, but there is one thing I do know - the uniforms will be fabulous!

Who Should Do Your Portrait?

 

"The Fourth Dimension is a Many Splattered Thing!"

Karla over at Rabbits, Toyen, and So Forth has taken some time away from editing her dissertation and medicating her bunnies to present one of the most interesting blog memes I have seen in a while, "Who Should Do Your Portrait?" [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

The idea is that you choose the artist that you would most like to have do your portrait. This can be very telling on a personal basis, as your choice not only reflects which artist that you happen to like, but also reveals details about how you would like to be portrayed. Leave a comment on her blog about which artist you would choose to portray you!

I decided on comic book artist Jack Kirby, because although Steve Romita draws the best Gwen Stacy and Mary-Jane Watson (and the best Aunt May, for that matter), there can be now doubt that Jack Kirby pens the most awesome super villains of all time.

Nobody can portray Dr. Doom, Galactus or the Silver Surfer better than Jack Kirby. I was looking for a link to an image of one of Kirby's incredible Dr. Doom panels when I came across an early Kirby story, "The Fourth Dimension is a Many Splattered Thing!" (Via Cartoon Snap.) This story is amazing! He has certainly taken the idea of interdimensional dating to a new level.

For those that don't know, Karla is a very dear and close friend that I've known for over 20 years. she gave me my pet rabbit, the infamous Fierce, Bad Rabbitoid. (I think that she is still a little miffed that I now have a cat.)

 

Best Quote of the Week

 

Barney Frank said of Obama, "At a time of great crisis with mortgage foreclosures and autos, he says we only have one president at a time. I'm afraid that overstates the number of presidents we have." The Plank

 

Forrest J Ackerman, Dead at 92

 

Forrest J Ackerman, writer and editor of the most important magazine ever produced, Famous Monsters of Filmland, died yesterday at at the age of 92. [ 1, 2, 3 ]

 

The Bush Legacy Project

 

Everyone is giving President Bush a hard time for loafing around during these last few weeks of his administration, but that's characterization of the president is completely unfair! The truth of the matter is that he and his staff have been hard at work, rescuing the Bush Legacy!

Former senior Bush advisers, including Karen Hughes and Karl Rove, have been meeting inside the White House for the "Bush Legacy Project." I watched Rachel Maddow discuss the matter with Lawrence O'Donnell on television last night, and I must say that it warmed the peanut butter encrusted cockles of my heart to find out that President Bush has not let the pesky old financial crisis get in the way of the really important work that he has at hand, whitewashing the history of his administration.

 

This Year's Major Gaffes in Yuletide Public Relations... So Far

 

Ack! Our supreme commander in the theater of war known as Christmas has ! five years he stated that, "These antichristian zealots talking Judeo-Christian philosophy today reject that honor. But in reality, they are cowards. They hide behind the bogus separation of church and state argument to batter any public displays they find offensive. Led by the ACLU and aided by secular judges the antichristian Americans are insulting and denigrating a key part of America." [ 1, 2, 3 ]

But last night I saw that Billo got yet another prestigous award from his number one fan, Keith Olbermann. It seems that Mr. O'Reilly told a reporter at "New York Newsday" this rather surprising bit of doublespeak: "I'm a secular guy, it's the separation of church and state. We don't make laws based on religion and I don't accept arguments based on that." [ 1, 2, 3 ]

Does that mean that the War on Christmas is over? Maybe Billo's "Christmas surge" is working! No longer will I be deeply offended by mall employees saying "Happy Holidays" is a listless, lackluster manner. Now they can proudly say "Merry Christmas!" in an equally listless, lackluster manner. Hooray! Santa must have risen from the grave! Christmas is saved!

On a similar note, here is a video about a Wisconsin man from the Freedom From Religion Coalition who got a permit for a holiday display this year in the state Capitol that reads: "At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail. There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell. There is only our natural world. Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." (Via Oliver Willis.)

The placard is on display next to a Christian Nativity scene and a "holiday tree" that will be on display during the month of December.

I actually applaud the local government for letting the placard be part of the Christmas display, and agreed with the comments made in the video about loving the fact that this country has free speech that allows a display of this nature.

I think that the idiot that put up the sign has concocted one of the worst public relations campaigns in history, however. it's very difficult to sell a product by calling the customer deficient or stupid, and the whole "I'm right, you're wrong" argument is in fact what is most disturbing about the rhetoric of many churches.

And look at the sign - is that really your message? Really? Even the font is pitiful. (You are going to deliver your 'earth-shattering' message to the unwashed heathens in Times New Roman? you have got to be kidding!) It just seems to be sloppy and careless and poorly thought out.

my own views on religion are pretty bizarre, but I have no problem in general with either atheists or religious folks. However, some atheists fit into a category that is as annoying as any hardcore Evangelical Christian or Hollywood Scientologist.

You can usually tell the difference when they start taking about CSICOP [ 2 ] or the "Amazing" Randi [ 1, 2, 3, 4 ]. This subset of atheists is as delusional as any religious fanatic.

Despite their claims to the contrary, they do not follow the philosophy of Empiricism, and it's very easy to refute their claims. Start with Dennis Rawlins and the Mars Effect and work your way up to the present. The "Amazing" Randi is a fraud, and CSICOP's followers are just another form of addled extremism.