Ack! Charlton Heston Was Right!

 

Oh, my god...

President Obama's Healthcare plan is made out of people!

 

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same...

Michelle Malkin has a new book out, and is making the rounds on FOX News... [ 1, 2 ]

...with predictable results.

Why Democrats are Evil

 
 

Media Clichés: Men Seldom Make Passes at Girls Who Wear Glasses

 

There are several stereotypes that support the notion that beautiful women can't be intelligent, and intelligent women can't be beautiful.

I've always loved the old classic horror films, and a prevalent plot device in these films would pair a female "ice princess" scientist with a rough-and-tumble masculine hero. The other men in the film warn the hero to not attempt to approach her, that she is too cold and distant. The female scientist is always all business and no hanky-panky at the beginning of the film. Invariably at some point in the film the female scientist is saved from the monster by the rough-and-tumble hero, at which point she melts into his arms, and now coos warmly and affectionately at the man she formerly scorned. Science and protocol fly out the window as the two profess their love for each other and the monster dies by the final reel.

Another version of this stereotype is called the "Miss Jones Syndrome." where a seemingly unattractive, bespectacled woman is told to take off her glasses and loosen her hair, and voila! "Why, Miss Jones, you are beautiful."

There are many variations and parodies on this theme. In his music video "She Blinded Me With Science," Thomas Dolby did an homage to this Cliché with the line, "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you're beautiful!"

Two recent films explore this theme, "10 Things I Hate About You," and "She's All That." Both stories revolve around female leads that are intelligent and witty. They are also considered unattractive, not so much because of their looks, but because of their independence and attitude. (Imagine that!) Their male suitors must tame them until they are brought under submission. This rather sexist storyline is actually a recycled version of "the Taming of the Shrew" by William Shakespeare.

Another recent film that portrays these stereotypes is the film, "Not Another Teen Movie." The film is a parody, and the female lead portrays many of the cliches mentioned. The title of the book the character is reading in the center still in the photo above is "How to get the Popular Boy Without Compromising Your Unique Rebelliousness."

Independent women are sometimes portrayed on television as lead characters, but usually the same or similar stereotypes apply. Dana Scully is portrayed as very intelligent and perceptive woman in the television show "The X-Files." Her character seemed to have abandoned all femininity in the show, however. Any romantic encounters that she ever had on the show were merely foils to Fox Muldar's escapades. She is, in essence, the straight man to Muldar's goofy persona. She was not a romantic character. Even when she became pregnant in the series, the child's conception was a mystery. (Presumably the child was the result of an alien abduction.) Muldar was definitely the more sexual character of the two, as he at least had an extensive porn collection.

A stereotype seems to be fostered that states that submissive women are "rewarded" with romance, and independent women "punished" with a lonely and unromantic life. This stereotype is prevalent through out all media.

The same can be said for other strong female characters, such as Mary Tyler Moore, Murphy Brown, Uhura, and Seven-of-Nine. The message appears to be that if you are an independent thinking woman, you are not attractive.

Batgirl From the old "Batman" TV show is an excellent case in point of this phenomenon. A cold and distant librarian by day, Barbara Gordon eschews the Dewy Decimal System by night and becomes the confident and defiant crime-fighting Batgirl. Batgirl is hot, Barbara Gordon is not, and neither seems sexually attainable. Batgirl is brassy and defiant, and Barbara is so intelligent that no man would ever find her attractive. Note also that Batgirl is another example of the "Miss Jones Syndrome," by way of Clark Kent. Take the glasses off of the librarian and put her in a clingy outfit and she is instantly desirable!

It's also worth noting that the Batman TV series was high camp and rather silly, and Batgirl's role was usually to get captured and the rescued by the final episode. She was only allowed to kick or push villains in a fight - she was not allowed to punch them. The writers thought it would make her look "unfeminine."

From the cartoon series "Scooby Doo," Daphne Blake (AKA "Danger-prone Daphne") is the coy and demure ghostbuster that is eternally captured and saved by Freddie, the male lead that is cryptically wearing an ascot. Velma Dace Dinkley is the resident genius of the group, and is often the member of the team that deciphers the clues and solve the crimes. She is also lacking in self-confidence, and is considered sort of clumsy and annoying by the rest of the team. She is a comedic foil to Daphne's damsel-in-distress. The smart girl is unattractive, the attractive girl is not smart.

Perpetuating the same stereotype, but in reverse, is the television program "Daria." Daria Morgendorffer and her younger sister, Quinn, embody the same stereotype that Daphne and Velma exhibit, except the lead of the show is the mousy girl in the glasses! Another show that has broken this same mold is "Ugly Betty."

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Xena Warrior Princess" differed from these other show's in that the female leads in these two shows bend the rules of the adventure genre, a female is controlling the narrative and fighting the battles usually reserved for men. In these two shows the female leads are portrayed as fierce warriors, more able to fight in battle than their male counterparts. The appeal of the show is the novelty of a female character portrayed as a dynamic and heroic figure. Note also that thes are female characters portraying typical male character attributes, these are not realistic women portrayed in a natural setting.

Another stereotype the television portrays is called the "Betty and Veronica" syndrome, where two girls are in love with one man, or two girls are compared based upon their differing attributes. Veronica is a vivacious rich girl with sex appeal, whereas Betty is more of a dependable, down-home sort of girl. The male then becomes the central figure of the trio, with the two females competing for his attentions. This plot device is used to create an eternal sexual tension between the male and female characters without resolution.

The TV show "Gilligan's Island" had a similar competitive duo, with Mary Ann as the Girl-Next-Door, and Ginger as the Hollywood sex kitten.

As a quick final note, I would like to point out that almost invariably female aliens from outer space are sexy, and male aliens are much more likely to be ugly, threatening and made out of theatrical latex.

 

This is a Zaius Nation Reprint.

Annette Funicello's Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

 

Annette Funicello's Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

     * 2 cups unsifted flour
     * 1 cup sugar
     * 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
     * 1/4 teaspoon salt
     * 1/2 cup margarine — corn oil softened
     * 1/2 cup peanut butter — Skippy Creamy or Super Chunky
     * 2 eggs
     * 1 tablespoon water
     * 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
     * 6 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

In small bowl stir together flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt.
In large bowl with mixer at low speed beat together margarine, peanut butter, eggs, water, and vanilla just until blended.
Add flour mixture, beat until blended.
Increase speed to medium; beat 2 minutes.
Stir chocolate pieces into batter.
Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls 3 inches apart onto ungreased
cookie sheets.
Flatten slightly with floured bottom of glass.
Bake in 375 F oven 10 to 12 minutes or until lightly browned.
Cool on wire rack.
Store in covered container.
Makes about 2-3 dozen.

 

"The Duchess"

 

 

Never Put Your Banana in the Refrigerator!!!

 

Never put your banana in the refrigerator!!!

 

Janeane Garofalo Vs. Teabaggers Videos

 

No time for blogging today! I have to go find my running mate, Germaine Gregarious. I have been trying to reach her all morning. She told me yesterday that she was working on some revolutionary budget proposals that could cut our country's expenditures in half! In the meantime you can watch this Awesome compilation of Janeane Garofalo Vs. Teabaggers videos. Go get 'em, Janeane!

 

The First Rule of Being Stuck in a Hole is to Stop Digging

 

When attempting to prove that President Obama is not a U.S. citizen by falsely stating that he was born in Kenya, the "Birthers" are forgetting this minor point:

[...] even though a child is born outside the United States, if at least one parent was a U.S. citizen at the time of the child's birth, the child automatically "acquires" citizenship.

findlaw.com

UPDATE: I think I have it wrong, as Freida Bee has pointed out:

The US Foreign Affairs Manual states that "it has never been determined definitively by a court whether a person who acquired U.S. citizenship by birth abroad to U.S. citizens is a natural born citizen [...]". [ 1 ]

"To date, the Naturalization Act of 1790 has been the only U.S. law explicitly conferring 'natural born' citizenship. In 1795, Congress removed the words 'natural born' from the law; the Naturalization Act of 1795 says only that foreign-born children of American parents 'shall be considered as citizens of the United States.'" [ 1 ]

On the other hand, according to John McCain's birth certificate, he was born in Colon, Panama. And at the time Colon was not in part of the Panama Canal Zone. [ 2 ]

Article II of the Convention Between the United States and the Republic of Panama states: "...the cities of Panama and Colon and the harbors adjacent to said cities, which are included within the boundaries of the zone above described, shall not be included within this grant.'" [ 3 ]

"Colon was surrounded by, but not part of, the former Panama Canal Zone." [ 4 ]

 

Barbie Turns Fifty

 
 

Hey You Kids... Get Off of My Lawn!

 

No time for blogging today! I am too busy filling out this nifty meme that I got from Karla at Rabbits Ate My Homework via the evil taskmaster Facebook. Ack! What are those kids up to, anyway?

 

Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds

 

"If you've ever wondered who's in control, you or your cat, a new study points to the obvious. It's your cat."

"Household cats exercise this control with a certain type of urgent-sounding, high-pitched meow, according to the findings."

"This meow is actually a purr mixed with a high-pitched cry. While people usually think of cat purring as a sign of happiness, some cats make this purr-cry sound when they want to be fed. The study showed that humans find these mixed calls annoying and difficult to ignore."

"'The embedding of a cry within a call that we normally associate with contentment is quite a subtle means of eliciting a response,' said Karen McComb of the University of Sussex. 'Solicitation purring is probably more acceptable to humans than overt meowing, which is likely to get cats ejected from the bedroom.'"

livescience.com

 

Miss Kazoo!!

 
 

Real Style is Eterenal!

 

No time for blogging today! my good friend Blue Gal has paid for my free Virtual Mary Kay Makeover™. I think that my fabulous new look makes me look ten years younger! On the other hand, I am now having far more trouble getting through doorways. No matter! My fashionable new 'do' is both affordable and trendy. Fads may fade and fashions may fizzle, but real style is eternal!

 

Wonder Girl Gets Down With Her Bad Self!

 
 

The Joan of Arc of Alaska Politics

 

I don't like to think of Sarah Palin's recent actions as quitting, I like to think that her career as Governor has merely been aborted in the first term.

 

He Even Took Lessons On the Lute...

 
 

Happy Birthday, Blue Gal!

 

It's Blue Gal's Birthday!

 

V for Values

 

Here they come to save the day...

 

I Had the Strangest Dream About Annette Funicello

 

 

The Deadly Clam

 
 

There Are No Original Ideas Left In Hollywood

 

Oh, well. I never liked the Three Stooges anyway.

 

Panetta and the CIA Deceived Congress for Years

 

"The director of the Central Intelligence Agency, Leon E. Panetta, has told the House Intelligence Committee in closed-door testimony that the C.I.A. concealed 'significant actions' from Congress from 2001 until late last month, seven Democratic committee members said."

"In a June 26 letter to Mr. Panetta discussing his testimony, Democrats said that the agency had 'misled members' of Congress for eight years about the classified matters, which the letter did not disclose. 'This is similar to other deceptions of which we are aware from other recent periods,' said the letter, made public late Wednesday by Representative Rush D. Holt, Democrat of New Jersey, one of the signers."

"In an interview, Mr. Holt declined to reveal the nature of the C.I.A.’s alleged deceptions,. But he said, 'We wouldn’t be doing this over a trivial matter.'"

New York Times

 

Confirmed: God is Slightly Gay

 

No time for blogging today! I am in a rush to get to an appointment with my hairdresser. (My hair is a mess! I have split ends, it's all limp and frizzy, and I have all manner of major and minor hair-related glitchyness. I simply can't do a thing with it!) In the meantime you can read this swell article that I found on Nailing Jello to the Wall called "Confirmed: God is Slightly Gay". Seeing Eye Chick also has an interesting post about the same subject. (...Now if I can just make this next yellow light... ACK! Get outta the way! I knew that I should have taken the 10th Street exit...)

 

I Have That Effect On Women...

 
 

I Live In Constant Fear of Killer Robots From the Future...

 

Ack! Google Chrome is actually an operating system!

 

Sugar Daddy Dating

 

The internet always seems to find the lowest common denominator.

 

Mark Your Calendars! Blue Gal's Birthday is on the 16th.

 

Mark your calendars! Blue Gal's Birthday is on the 16th.

 

Sarah Palin: "Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow."

 

GOP rock star Sarah Palin...

Long rumored to be the next Republican presidential candidate...

Has quit her job as Govenor of Alaska.

Things are looking up!

 

Ride That Pony, Rush Limbaugh, Ride!

 

Rush Limbaugh recently said this about the death of Michael Jackson: "He flourished under Reagan, languished under Clinton/Bush, and died under Obama." President Obama killed Michael Jackson!   [ 1, 2 ]

As Keith Olbermann said, "Big bag full of mashed-up jackass right there."

 

Raquel Welch in the film, "Fantastic Voyage"

 

No time for blogging today! Dr. Peterson and I are on board the submarine Proteus, inside the brain of Soviet Scientist Jan Benes. We are busy trying to repair a blood clot caused by his prolonged exposure to the Mainstream Media! (His defection to the west is critical to my budget deficit miniaturization program. We must not shrink from our financial duties!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of the scene of Raquel Welch in the film, "Fantastic Voyage", when her crew members had to save Ms. Welch in the nick of time by groping her body to pull off the evil, slimy anti-bodies that are clinging to her skintight white-rubber wetsuit! (Aside from my acute knowledge of the brain, I also have vast experience of the miniaturization process, because during my presidential campaign I have had to deal with the small minds of so many neoconservative voters.)

(I am rerunning this post because Randal Graves asked for something about Raquel Welch.)

 

Slave Leia Pillow Fight!

 

Slave Leia Pillow Fight!

 

Happy Fourth of July!

 

What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!

 

Time Travel With Dr. Zaius

 

No time for blogging today! I have several errands to run throughout the centuries, and I am afraid that I may not be back until last week.

Ack! I had better slow down. By my reckoning, my present reverse causation matrix will collapse if I don't dampen my transdimensional hyper-transversion relameter pretty soon.

Jeepers! Time travel sure is fraught with a lot of annoying details and fiddly bits!

By all outward appearances, time travel would seem to be quite simple...

But what is simple in theory can grow quite complex in practice... Time is not merely a nonspatial continuum in which events occur in irreversible succession from the past through the present into the future. The temporal coil is neither immutable nor concrete. Time is actually very much like toothpaste, only a whole lot squishier!

One must be cautious though, because the deep paradoxes that can be caused by even the most minor interference of the major schemata of causality can lead to some very nasty and irreversible alternate timelines.

On the other hand, time travel in not without it's fringe benefits!

And remember - if you are going to use the Flux Capacitor method of temporal transportation, you will need plenty of D cell batteries to produce the 1.21 gigawatts necessary to create the hyperdimensional rift in the inner vortex of the wormhole umbilicus. Watch out for those pesky Hasslein curves!