Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It's Time For the Comfy Chair

"A Spanish court has taken the first steps toward opening a criminal investigation into allegations that six former high-level Bush administration officials violated international law by providing the legal framework to justify the torture of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba."

"The case, against former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and others, was sent to the prosecutor’s office for review by Baltasar Garzón, the crusading investigative judge who ordered the arrest of the former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet. The official said that it was 'highly probable' that the case would go forward and that it could lead to arrest warrants."

(Joke shamelessly stolen from Keith Olbermann)

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LOLrus and Bukkit

My friend Joe likes LOLrus and Bukkit

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Friday, March 27, 2009

Another Giant Steaming Pile of Republican Tax Deductions and Personal Exemptions

House Minority Leader John Boehner and other House Republican leaders called a press conference Thursday to unveil their much anticipated detailed "road-to-recovery" alternative budget. the 18 page proposal gives no real specifics, save one - an enormous tax cut for the wealthy.

Despite the lack of depth that the document contains, Boehner promised further details next week that will clarify how the new Republican plan will fertilize America's economy by discharging the country's toxic debt in one swift and melodious evacuation.

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Don't Laugh...

When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.


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Please Vote for Nora O'Sullivan to Win Fangoria's Spooksmodel Contest!


Please do me a personal favor and click on this link and vote for Nora O'Sullivan to win Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors Spooksmodel Contest!

The link to vote for her is on the second row from the bottom, second from the left. Please go vote right away! Time is running out!

Ms. O'Sullivan is the daughter of Bubs & Mrs. Bubs over at the Sprawling Ramshackle Compound.


P.S. You can only vote once.

"Contestants with 'suspicious' voting activity may be disqualified at the discretion of the judges."

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Meme-ing is Such Sweet Sorrow, That I Shall Say Goodnight 'Till it be Morrow

Ack! As I have been tagged by the commendable bibliothecary Liberality, I submit the following installment of the "Six Random Things" meme. First things first, though. I must post the rules:

The Rules
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So without further ado, I relinquish the following six random indulgences about me:

Even though I am both a scientist and a theologian, I still find many things inexplicable.

I haven't had a speeding or parking ticket in over 15 years.

Now that Sanjay Gupta [ 2 ] has turned down the post of surgeon general, I am still hoping that President Obama will consider me for the post. I know that Howard Dean has been pegged for the job, but in the capacity of head brain surgeon of Ape City, I have performed almost as many lobotomies as Howard Dean has as Democratic National Committee Chairman!

I know the difference between bits and bytes.
(Especially when it relates to cake and ice cream!)

I live in constant fear of killer robots from the future.

I still have a crush on Laurie Partridge.

And there you have it! The six things meme! With these shallow admissions made, I now tag the following bloggers for this meme: BAC, Übermilf, Distributorcap, Jang-chub Ozer, Sunandheir, Utah Savage, and Darius Whiteplume.

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Just Put It On the Taxpayer's Tab, My Good Sir...

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I have been very busy lately spending our "retention" bonus at the Rich People Only Club. we have been dining with bad bankers and phony financiers on meaty, piping hot bailout brisket, lavishly drenched in sizzling stimulus sauce. The commodity and equity biscuits are delicious with gobs of oppressed mob butter, and extra lashings of holy-crap-we're-in-a-jam! (Ms. Gregarious and I both drink our Bonded single-malt, 100 proof "liquidity injections" the same way that the economic forecast is looking, on the rocks!)

In the meantime, you can check out these swell links that are guaranteed to defraud, swindle and deceive you out of your hard earned tax dollars and Social Security payments by the lowest forms of trickery imaginable!

Blue Gal has posted the final submissions for the Carnival of the Liberals 87!

BAC has a mind-blowing post about Tammy Bruce. (Badtux posted about her, too!)

Sunandheir has posted the definitive guide to the seductive and deadly Poison Ivy. (It's great!)

Both Dean Wormer and Comrade Kevin did great posts about their fathers.

Jang-chub Ozer has an interesting post about celebrity IQs.

Übermilf wants to deal with those Wall Street "top performers" using the Aunt Bea approach.

Randal has started an unusual soap opera.

Oliver Willis has a new website, News America Now.

Wee Mousie Nails Bobby Jindal!

Aspiring wordsmith Bubs has been published - twice!

Niblet got his stitches out! Yay! :o)

TexBetsy has an interesting post about weenies.

FranIAm recalls her trip to Machu Picchu.

GETkristiLOVE went to Ecuador.

Lisa's daughter went to the prom. (With pictures!)

Sleestak and Thought Criminal have fun with AT-ATs.

Utah Savage needs help editing the first three chapters [ 1, 2, 3 ] of her book.

Distributorcap has some great pictures!

Darkblack is awesome. [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

So are The Omnipotent Poobah and Ice Station Tango.

Sue J has posted a warning to all individuals that are squeaky and made of fleece.

Matty Boy asks the obvious question, "Don't you Twitterstand?"

Some Guy has a unique view of the free market.

Mauigirl invokes the famous Casablanca quote,"I'm shocked - shocked!"

Darius Whiteplume has a great video, but is ignoring the logic of Commander T'Pol.

Pissed Off Patricia seems to be handling things better than I am.

What Now Toons is aways great!

Jess Wundrun has been on a blogcation lately... :o(

The Ardent Thread says that the new sashiko books are here!

I agree with Aunt Dahlia about Irish food.

I, Splotchy is getting pretty corny.

Eda Cherry waxes YouToobishly poetic about Post-it Notes.

The Hermit has a candid interview with Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

Kulkuri points out that privatization of the military is not new.

TF is a great artist who has survived the zombie rainbow pony war.

Puddy says that April 18th is Record Store Day! (You get fee records!)

Gilligan reminds you that salad cream is not just for salads.

Ruby Mae say that positinos, negatino and neutrinos can run both hot and cold.

Michael Hart has a great quote from H.G. Wells.

The Wulfshead is getting might crowded!

Lockwood is a geologist, and features a new mineral every Monday!

Elizabeth McQuern graphically depicts the horrors of Twitter.

Those still suffering from the ravages of Battlestar Galactica: [ 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]


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Don't-Let-the-Door-Hit-You-On-the-Way-Out Dept.

An AIG executive VP's letter of resignation.

(If only they had let him keep his "retention" bonus...)

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Don't Let This Happen To Your Financial Professional!


Don't let this happen to your financial professional! We must act now to protect the flamboyant lifestyles of our wealthy American executives!


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No More Giant Snakes, Please!


This is ridiculous. The Sci Fi Channel is changing it's name to the "SyFy Channel". A stupid name to go with it's stupid giant snake and giant insect programming. What they really need is some executives that actually like science fiction, and understands the depth of the subject matter.

They have had a few good programs, like Tinman, and their versions of Dune and Children of Dune. Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis were and are indeed valient efforts, but Estate of Panic, Ghost Hunters International and Scare Tactics and reruns of Lost are just an affront to your higher sensibilities. I never could get into Battlestar Galactica and it's quest for a Neo-Mormonist identity, but it is very popular.

At least they have reruns of The Twilight Zone, Star Trek: Enterprise and The X-files. It's great that they ran reruns of Joan of Arcadia, but that's not really science fiction, is it? And it's nice to see Reruns of the Outer Limits remake, but I would like to see the original program as well.

If they are trying to save money on their budget by only picking or producing really stupid giant reptile and giant insect movies, I would much rather see some cheesy science fiction movies from the 50s and 60s. And if they are going to run horror movies, why don't they recreate the Bob Wilkin's Creature Features program? That would at least be interesting.

You can watch reruns of the vast wasteland of Sci Fi Channel programming here.

No more giant snakes, please!

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Hippies Were Right!

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy in the kitchen cooking up some ideas about how to best negotiate with those hardworking AIG executives. (We think that they might enjoy a nice corporate team-building picnic event, we just aren't sure which caliber to use...) In the meantime you can watch this swell video about how hippies were right that I shamelessly stole from Liberality's awesome blog. (You can tell that I'm a hippy. I still have flashbacks, bean bag chairs and I enjoy mini skirts and go go boots! And Ms. Gregarious definately puts the "DIE!" in Tie-Dye.)


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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm Playing Hookey!

Sorry that I have been absent lately...
I've been playing hookey!


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rachel Ray Knows What I Want!

As unprofessional as it might seem for a presidential candidate to admit this sort of thing, I feel strongly that I must say that I have grown quite fond of the bewitching Rachel Ray. I find that she and I speak on the same level, enjoy the same intellectual pastimes, and are deeply and spiritually attuned on certain scholarly subjects. It was not the delightful corn de-stringing video [ 2 ] that a friend sent me that caught my attention, but Ms. Ray's charming and intellectual commentary about various eating establishments that she graced us with in this delightful video.

I was immediately captivated her expressive articulation, and spellbound by her dramatic command of the language. Clearly this is a genuinely cerebral woman that understands the very depths of my inner soul!

I must admit that previously I have been remiss in the Rachel Ray Department. I did an entire post about the growing American Dunkin' Donuts/keffiyeh crisis and did not even mention her name, even though she was the immediate focus of Michelle Malkin's ridiculous vitriolic.

I have corrected this grievious error on my part by watching Ms. Ray's television program this morning. On the program she had the actors from the film Watchmen as guests, then she did makeover for two women to make them look older, and then came the the important part of the program - she prepared food! That's what I call television.

Now, I know that Ms. Ray has many critics and detractors that are envious of her many accomplishments and intellectual prowess. To them I say, Fiddlesticks! clearly Ms. Ray is a misunderstood visionary for a new age, with the ability to set fire to the imagination of people around the world. And she cooks!

Ms. Jill Hunter Pellettieri of Slate Magazine wrote a most worthy article on the subject, "Rachael Ray: Why food snobs should quit picking on her." But perhaps Ms. Ray says it best in her own words:

Rachael Ray tells In Touch that she has one thing to say to critics who run web sites like IHateRachaelRay: "You're right!" In an exclusive interview, Rachael says she understands why some find her annoying. "Most of the people who criticize me are absolutely correct," she says. "I'm loud. I'm goofy. I don't make my own pierogies. But what am I going to do, call them up and fight with them? You don't deal with the people who don't like you. I don't work for them."

Rachael blames the backlash on the fact that she spends time in people's homes every day through her show. "That's an intimate connection," she explains. "If you try to be something you're not, people will see through it." She isn't concerned about how she looks, either. "I haven't been on a scale since I was 12," Rachael says. For exercise, she does "the bare minimum so I can feel good enough to work: sit-ups and push-ups. I'm not an actress, I'm a cook. I'm sure I have been five or six different sizes since I have been on television, but I don't care.

Anybody that can piss off Jim Cramer on a daily basis is OK by me.

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My Friend George Sent Me This Joke...


In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal called the "Octo-mom":

You get eight eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.


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Further Evidence of the Coming of the Great Apeocolypse

Further evidence of the coming of the great Apeocolypse: General Santino make plans to violently overthrow his captors. Today the zoo, tomorrow the world!


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Strictly Commercial


Once in a great while I get these emails from prospective advertisers that want to advertise on my blog. I have only gotten a couple of them, and I know that they are just bulk quasi-spam mails from people that have never been to my blog because their products have always been wildly inappropriate for my blog. For example, one of these spams that I got was promoting a computer program that supposedly taught your kids how to get over their speech impediments. (WTF?)

I got this email the other day, however, and it gave me pause:


My name is Alex Greg and I am the manager of the project for And I would like to buy the text link advertisement on your blog for our website Can you send me the monthly rates for the blog-wide text link on your blog ?

I would appreciate your reply.

Alex Greg

How do you think that I should respond? I am certainly a big fan of lingerie, and their website even has a rhinestone collection! (Rowr!)

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Friday, March 06, 2009

All Kryptonite Issue: President Obama's Kryptonite Handbook

We were were all thrilled when President Obama was sworn into office...

And we are all grateful at the speed at which he took the helm...

But although the president is endowed with many miraculous super powers, he is not completely invulnerable!

Originating from his home world of Krypton, Green Kryptonite can become deadly to the president when wielded by his political rivals!

Also a danger, and created when Green Kryptonite passes through a radioactive 'Bipartisan' cloud, Red Kryptonite has strange and unpredictable effects on the president.

Gold and Jewel Kryptonite weakens the president's message when Bankers and Wall Street moguls give themselves big fat bonuses and private jets with TARP money!

Blue Kryptonite is deadly to Republican politicians and pundits. (See Bizarro Politics.)

White Power Kryptonite is formed when green kryptonite is exposed to certain frequencies of AM radio. (Has been known to cause brain damage in humans.)

Watch out, Mr. President!

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All Kryptonite Issue: The Negative Effects of Red Kryptonite

Created when Green Kryptonite passes through a radioactive "Bipartisan" cloud, Red Kryptonite has strange and unpredictable effects on the president.

The effect was first manifested publicly on February 5th of this year when President Obama named a new executive director for his White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships and signed an executive order creating a 25-member advisory council of religious and community leaders.

As a result of his exposure to to the unpredictable Red Kryptonite, Obama left completely untouched five Bush-era executive orders and numerous agency regulations and rulings that allow publicly funded religious groups to discriminate in hiring on religious grounds and permit public funds to pay for construction and renovation of buildings used for worship. That means that billions of tax dollars shall be allocated today under the controversial Bush-era rules!

To learn more about this insidious act, visit the website of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, or contact their Executive Director, Rev. Barry W. Lynn.

We must help the president come to his senses! Contact the president's office immediately!

* Through the White House comment site:

* By phone:
the comments line is 202-456-1111
the switchboard is 202-456-1414
the FAX number is 202-456-2461

* By mail:
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500.

Stop Discrimination NOW!


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All Kryptonite Issue: The negative Effects of Gold and Jewel Kryptonite

Gold and Jewel Kryptonite weaken the president's message when Bankers and Wall Street moguls give themselves big fat bonuses and private jets with TARP money!

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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

For the GOP, Leadership Involves Finding the Right Train Wreck and Getting in Front of It

The awesome leadership power of Rush Limbaugh...

When asked about the whole 'leadership-Steele-Limbaugh' situation, Gov. Bobby Jindal states that although Steele is a "breathe of fresh air," he is glad that Steele has relinquished his throne to Limbaugh. (Jindal and Limbaugh already have a 'special' understanding as to who the leader of the party is, don't cha know.)

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