What Was On TV Last Night

 

Nancy Drew Trailer

Nancy Drew's Secret Identity

Last night I watched "Nancy Drew" on VOD. (I think that Dr. Monkerstein had given the film a thumbs up, but I was unable to find his review when I looked for it.)

Right off the bat, let me say that there were not nearly enough miniskirts and go go boots in this film to suit my tastes. (Although Ms. Drew's stripey party dress was hilarious.) Nancy Drew is supposed to be old enough to drive a car in the film, but the actress looks like she is about twelve years old and needs to eat on a more regular basis. This is a kids film, so you have to check your prurient interests at the door.

The premise of the film was Ferris Buehler for girls, with a combination of Daphne and Velma from Scooby Doo/Mystery Inc. thrown in. (perhaps it's the other way around, probably both genres stole from the original Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys mysteries to a degree.) It also had many aspect's of the classic Hayley Mills film Pollyanna as well.

It was actually refreshing to see a female lead who was smarter than all of the other characters, and who's purpose in the script is not directly related to being a lover, wife or mother. Not that those are not noble roles in life, but rarely do we see women playing any other kind of role.

The only complaint might be that the other female roles in the film are intentionally dumbed down to make Nancy Drew look smart and men are basically characterized as dimwitted and ineffective, but this not a drama. It is a tongue-in-cheek comedy, so it's OK to turn the tables on the stereotypes. It actually part of what makes it interesting.

The main joy of the film is from the smarmy and campy dialog. I usually sit at the computer while I'm watching TV, so I'm doing two things at once. I found myself constantly stopping the VOD and rewinding to catch the dialog, "What! Did they really say that?" My favorite lines were when Corky said, "courtesy is so awsome, I'm really into it," and when Inga said, "That's so non-linear."

Nancy Drew on evil villians:

Nancy Drew: It really gets my goat when someone trys to kill me. It's so rude!

Nancy Drew on terrorism:

Nancy Drew: Excuse me, I have to defuse this bomb.

Nancy Drew on performing a tracheotomy:

Nancy Drew: I need a knife and a ball point pen. I'd like to remind everyone that unless you have advanced emergency medical training, you must never attempt this on your own.

Nancy Drew on romance:

Nancy Drew: Ned can I ask you a question?

Ned Nickerson: Uhm...

Nancy Drew: Can you tell when a girl looks at you and is thinking how much she likes you and is wondering if you like her and thinking how important it is for you to say how you feel before she says anything more about how she feels about you or anyone else they might be jealous of because she's already said how she feels how she's said in her own way?

Ned Nickerson: Uh, can you repeat the question?

Most disturbing line in the film:

Nancy Drew: Hey guys, we're having a taffy pull later!

 

The Zaius Nation Ladies Home Auxiliary!

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy training the new recruits for the Ladies Home Auxiliary! In the meantime, you can watch this swell video that I made that answers the question posed by Hillary Clinton, "When the call comes at 3 a.m. in the White House, who do you want answering the phone?"

 

Politics makes strange bedfellows

 

While Germaine Gregarious and I have been staying in some quality hotels and delightful motor lodges during road trips for our campaign...

...It would seem that Dr. Monkerstein has been "delivering pizza" to the Lincoln Bedroom!

 

Client Number 9

 

It's about time a Democrat got caught in a sex scandal. I was begining to lose faith in the whole party!

 

Tucker Carlson Gets the Boot

 

Tucker Carlson got a little something extra in his paycheck this week, a pink slip.

Insiders tell TVNewser Tucker Carlson's 6pmET show Tucker is getting the axe, but Carlson stays on as a political contributor to all MSNBC shows at least through the 2008 election. The official announcement, expected tomorrow, will include details about who will replace Tucker at 6pmET as well as other political programming additions. Sources say the network is going to beef up its schedule with more NBC News talent.

In recent days, Jossip, as well as other blogs, ratcheted up the talk that Tucker would be replaced "for a new project." In its 33-month run, Carlson's show has had two names, four time slots and multiple formats. At 6pmET, it builds on its Harbdall lead-in on some days, but loses audience on others.

Carlson is expected to host the show through next week, with his new role and title to take effect March 17. We're told he'll also be reporting from the campaign trail. TV Newser, via Think Progress.

Despite what they are saying about him on ytmnd.com, [ 2, 3 ] Tucker Carlson is still officially not gay.

 

Check Out Dean Wormer's New Video!

 

Dean Wormer says that he will take me off of Double Secret probation if I ask you to watch his new video. Check it out!

 

The Many Disguises of Jimmy Olsen

 

Jimmy Olsen in Drag

 

Poetry Corner With Dr. Zaius

 

Hello, boys and girls! I am enjoying a cigar and a snifter of brandy here in my lavish underpantsatorium. I am here today to tell you about the latest poem by the great Freida Bee.

What I know of man was written long ago in the future... by our great Lawgiver! But what man knows of ape is shrouded in lies and hypocrisy. Only one human has stepped forward with the true simian message of hope... The message that is written in the underpants! The great poetic prophet Freida Bee has written another poem for the Zauis/Gregarious campaign. She asks that it be linked to this post by Jess Wundrun. Check it out!

Lest you complacent find us
On campaign trail or blog,
We're only waiting slightly
For the passing of the Tuesday fog.

Clinton, Obama, McCain,
Frontrunners though they be,
Have nothing on my and Germaine's
Security policy, you will see.

Who can keep you safer than
A furry ape looking back on time?
And, there is no better protector
Than the Patron Saint of Pink Pistols, may I remind.

Of the homeland we know you say
These are the matters we wish you'd heed.
Our policies reflect your desire
Governments consider your every need...

The crux of the Zauis/Gregarious campaign,
As we inform at every precious chance,
Is to turn the tide to your thinking
With your happy underpants.

M.Yu has added a poem in the comments to this post. (caution, his blog is for adults only! Definitely not work safe.)

With Freida Bee as their Poetess
and underpants for happiness,

Z and G are THE combination,
they have a slick organization!

With bikini strewn analytics,
they defy those right wing critics!

White House Dick-heads will cry in vain,
as their best laid plans go down the drain.

With Z and G's inauguration
They'll bring next year's World domination.

When that happens our underpants
may be spared for exper-i-mants!

 

One Nuclear Weapon Can Ruin Your Whole Day

 

Check out this interesting Earth Island Institute PSA that reduces the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI) to the stone age. Rock on!

 

Take Cover! It's Daylight Saving Time!

 

Daylight time begins tonight at 2:00 a.m. local standard time, which becomes 3:00 a.m. local daylight time.

When a time change is actually occurring, take shelter immediately. Get a kit of emergency supplies. Determine in advance where you will take shelter during time change. Storm cellars or basements provide the best protection.

If underground shelter is not available, go into an interior room or hallway on the lowest floor possible. Stay clear of clocks and devices with internal chronometers, such as VCRs and some microwaves. Stay away from windows, doors and outside walls. Go to the center of the room. Stay away from corners because they attract time ripples and temporal distortions.

Arizona, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Idaho and Montana are not affected by the ravages of Daylight Saving Time. Other areas in the U.S. that are spared the horrific effects of Daylight Saving Time are Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands.

Final tip: It is NOT Daylight Savings time--there's no "s" after Saving. It's Daylight Saving Time, singular.

PST: Pacific Time (GMT -08:00)	MST: Mountain Time (GMT -07:00)
CST: Central Time (GMT -06:00)	EST: Eastern Time (GMT -07:00)

Daylight time begins in the United States on the second Sunday in March and ends on the first Sunday in November. On the second Sunday in March, clocks are set ahead one hour at 2:00 a.m. local standard time, which becomes 3:00 a.m. local daylight time. On the first Sunday in November, clocks are set back one hour at 2:00 a.m. local daylight time, which becomes 1:00 a.m. local standard time. These dates were established by the Energy Policy Act of 2005, Pub. L. no. 109-58, 119 Stat 594 (2005).

Not all places in the U.S. observe daylight time. In particular, Hawaii and most of Arizona do not use it. Indiana adopted its use beginning in 2006.

In 2008, daylight time begins on March 9 and ends on November 2.

Many other countries observe some form of "summer time", but they do not necessarily change their clocks on the same dates as the U.S.

Daylight time and time zones in the U.S. are defined in the U.S. Code, Title 15, Chapter 6, Subchapter IX - Standard Time. navy.mil

 

Monster Squad

 

Samantha Power was a foreign affairs advisor to Barack Obama until making negative remarks about Hillary Clinton (including calling her a "monster") in an interview with The Scotsman. Power apologized for the remarks and resigned soon after.

In the interview she was quoted as saying: "We fucked up in Ohio. In Ohio, they are obsessed and Hillary is going to town on it, because she knows Ohio's the only place they can win". "She is a monster, too -- that is off the record -- she is stooping to anything...You just look at her and think, 'Ergh.' But if you are poor and she is telling you some story about how Obama is going to take your job away, maybe it will be more effective. The amount of deceit she has put forward is really unattractive." Power apologized for the remarks that night, saying that they "do not reflect my feelings about Sen. Clinton, whose leadership and public service I have long admired." In the wake of reaction to the remarks, she resigned from the campaign the next day. Wikipedia

Of course Hillary Clinton is not a monster, but if Barack Obama ran his campaign more like hers, it might sound something like this:

"You don't believe that Senator Clinton's a monster?" Kroft asked Sen. Obama.

"Of course not. I mean, that, you know, there is no basis for that. I take her on the basis of what she says. And, you know, there isn't any reason to doubt that," he replied.

"You said you'd take Senator Clinton at his word that she's not... a monster. You don't believe that he's...," Kroft said.

"No. No, there is nothing to base that on. As far as I know," she said.



With apologies to Jess Wundren.

Clinton's path to the nomination, then, involves the following steps: kneecap an eloquent, inspiring, reform-minded young leader who happens to be the first serious African American presidential candidate (meanwhile cementing her own reputation for Nixonian ruthlessness) and then win a contested convention by persuading party elites to override the results at the polls. The plan may also involve trying to seat the Michigan and Florida delegations, after having explicitly agreed that the results would not count toward delegate totals. Oh, and her campaign has periodically hinted that some of Obama's elected delegates might break off and support her. I don't think she'd be in a position to defeat Hitler's dog in November, let alone a popular war hero. The New Republic, via Oliver Willis

 

Ms. Gregarious Demonstrates a Fundamental Principal of Physics

 

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy negotiating some of the finer points of protocol regarding the upcoming primary elections with Dr. Monkerstein. In the meantime, you can watch this swell Estonian meat commercial! (Happy landings, Dr. Monkerstein! He will have a story to tell after this, my dear - 16 of them, to be exact!)

 

Just a Quick Note...

 

Don't forget - Blue Gal's Blog Against Theocracy is on Easter Weekend!

Swinebread has pictures of the upcoming film "Watchmen". (Based on the graphic novel of the same name, one of my favorite books ever.) This is the find of the century - Way to go Swinebread!

Dguzman has survived flood! Here are the reports during and after the flood.

Becca has a done a couple of great sketches of "Faster Pussycat.. Kill! Kill!" and Jesus in Sexy Candyland, and a cool meme that is really long and interesting.

Jess Wundrun examines Hillary Clinton's recent statements. and tells us part two of her "Made in the USA" odyssey.

FranIAm and Dguzman are channeling Goofus and Gallant. Absorbascon has an interesting take on the same subject.

Darkblack has a remarkably funny picture of Bill O'Reilly.

Germaine Gregarious has an interesting take on Hillary's scare phone call ad and captures the irony of a recent news event.

MWB has found a remarkable (yet disturbing) video of Torchy the Battery Boy!

Dean Wormer has a few definitions that he wants to share with you, including the definition of the word "endorsement."

DCup is frightened of a giant chicken.

Samurai Frog is channeling MWB, who is channeling Chris Crocker. Of course, I have my own take on this meme.

Freida Bee has a story about the stinky revolt and a Gitmo Thongalicious Froodle.

Kimono Hime of Midnight/Noise [ 2 ] has a new blog! it's called The Ardent Thread’s Weblog.

Kelly the Little Black Dog has a link to map of the United States that answers the question, "Is your State In a Recession?"

Blue Gal has a very funny linked poem about knitting.

Dr. Monkerstein writes a letter to the editor.

DCap reintroduces you to the world of advertising and proves once again that he is pro-torture.

Madam Z is under the weather, so she is eating life-giving dark chocolate. (Mmm! I love chocolate!)

Splotchy has a funny story about a twelve year old.

Cap'n Dyke want to talk to you about your drinking habits.

Kelly the Little Black Dog has a great video, "A short History of Evil".

Übermilf responds to my Brady Bunch post with a few choice words.

Randal Graves discovers a grotesque display of blasphemy against FBI Director Robert Mueller.

Comrade Kevin recommended a cool new blog at Blue Gal's Monday night Salon, Stuff White People Like.

The Omnipotent Poobah has found the most ridiculous Obama/Clinton story I have seen yet.

GETkristiLOVE wants you to play a game with her hockey uniform.

Oh, BAC, why do you vex me so? Can you explain the pajama conspiracy!?!

Batocchio mixes Cthulhu and waffles.

Comrade Kevin is a colon.

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo has a story about a sting operation, and is trading barbs with Melanie Morgan.

Spocko is back! And he has a few words to say about Melanie Morgan as well.

Perpetual Dawnne [ 2 ] has some great pictues of the Siouxland Renaissance Faire. Ouch!

 

Message in a Bottle Meme

 

Cap'n Dyke has posted a new meme! Here's how this one is supposed to work:

You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean. Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Anonymous or not. What message would you like to send out to the universe? Cap'n Dyke

These are the instructions:

Message In A Bottle Meme
1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle
2. Right click and Save the graphic below: Mimi

3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture.
4. Post the meme and these rules on your blog.
5. Return your "Message In a Bottle" to Mimi via email ~ mimiwrites2005 at yahoo.com, sign the Mr. Linky below her post and leave a comment THERE telling her you’ve finished. IF YOU WANT YOUR MESSAGE TO BE ANONYMOUS PLEASE SAY SO.
6. Tag a minimum of five people - or your entire blogroll - to do the same. Notify them of the tag.

This is what I came up with. Anybody else want to try?

 

I Like My Coffee the Same Way That I Like My Women, Bitter and Murky

 

Amy Walter on the "Diet Coke Conspiracy."
Amy Walter clones herself to do battle with Stephen Colbert
"John and Amy talks about superdelegates, Florida, and Michigan."
"HIllary's Scary Phone Ad and ¡Hillary and Obama en Español!"
"CH-CH-CH-CHANGES: Trouble in Hillaryland?"

Something like 85% of my traffic is from Google, and I enjoy looking through my stats and finding out what people were looking for when they came to my site. It's not always pleasant, as Sleestak will attest. Sometimes the search terms are downright creepy.

One thing that I noticed that people are searching for lately is pictures of Amy Walter. I posted about Amy back in October and November of 2006. Now, she does not get as much traffic as Ann Coulter's boobs or Britney Spears' panties, but Ms. Walter is perhaps a notable figure that appeals to the more cultivated or refined political bloggers.

I can understand the frustration of these bloggers seeking pictures of Ms. Walter. If you search on Google you can only find a few pictures of her, and I can say with some degree of certainty that there are no pictures of her on the internet wearing a miniskirt and go go boots.

I have been following the career of Ms. Walter for some time. She writes for non-partisan periodicals, so I am not even sure if she is a Democrat or a Republican. I just know that she is smart, and when I watch her it's hard for me to concentrate on what she saying anyway. This is what I wrote about Ms. Walter back in October 2006:

Am I the only nerd that has a crush on Amy Walter? When she says the word "gerrymander," it makes me want to appoint a special counsel to the UN. She can hold a special election in my district any day. Zaius Nation

At this point you may be asking yourself, "Who the heck is Amy Walter?" She is the Editor in Chief of "The Hotline" [ 2 ] and she has a weekly column in National Journal [ 2, 3 ], "On The Trail". (The National Journal is a hoity toity weekly magazine that provides "Insight for Insiders" and is "read by members of Congress, Capitol Hill staffers, the White House, Executive Branch agencies, the media, think tanks, corporations, associations and lobbyists." [ wikipedia ] The annual subscription fee is about $1800.)

She is also one of the hosts of Hotline TV, which is a "subscriber-only morning round-up of the previous evening's late-night political jokes, 'Play of the Day,' and a video podcast/online television show, Hotline TV." [ 1 ] You can also watch episodes of Hotline TV at their website.

"Amy Walter is one of the nation's top political forecasters. She has been successfully handicapping U.S. House races since she received The Washington Post's Crystal Ball award for her spot-on predictions in 2000. As editor in chief of The Hotline, the National Journal Group's online briefing on politics and policies, Amy Walter is the publication's primary voice.

Amy Walter was dubbed one of the most powerful people in politics in George magazine for her insights into the mechanics that make the political machine run. She has served as a political analyst for CNN and as a panelist and commentator on CBS' Face the Nation, Meet the Press (NBC), Washington Journal (C-SPAN), The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer (PBS), and the CBS Early Show. Amy Walter provided election night commentary for CNN in 2002, 2004, and 2006. Walter is frequently quoted as a congressional election expert in newspapers such as The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and The New York Times." [...] Her speaking fees range from $5,000 to $10,000. leadingauthorities.com

She was recently on HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher, where she could barely get a word in edgewise with the other panelists, scumbag Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA) and delusional author David Frum. Here is the link to some of the comments about the show on the National Journal's blog.

When I first wrote about Ms. Walter, she was worked for Cook Political Report. Since that time she seems to have gained more respect among bloggers and journalists, as these two recent comments will attest:

Mar 04, 2008, IMT said: No you're not. Its the way she smiles with her eyes. You just know the gears are turning... and some of them are not on the subject at hand. Bright, approachable, an attentive listener, someone you'd very much like to have coffee with.

Her on-air style resonates with me. I like the unpolished demeanor she projects on-air. And let's not forget she looks very natural both on and off camera.

Amy is a great example of what a successful, intelligent, and thoughtful American women can be like. Contrast her to the shrill and dismissive talking head women so popular in the media today. What you'll see is an individual who is comfortable with who they are and what they do and do not know.

Personally, I'm thankful I get to watch and listen to Amy as often as I am.

Zaius Nation comment

And that, gentle readers, is what it's all about. There is nothing as exciting as a successful, intelligent, and thoughtful woman - a woman without pretense, who speaks here mind and knows what she is talking about. (Although a miniskirt and go go boots are definitely a plus...)

Feb 29, 2008, Anonymous said: I'm a 42 year old straight guy (sure, a geek), and I think Amy Walter is smokin hot. I just say her on Maher Real Time, and she is oozing with intelligent sexuality.

Zaius Nation comment

Well, I guess that intelligent sexuality does have a way of oozing, I suppose.

Ms. Walter is often quoted as saying, "Every politician is always looking for that perfect sweet spot, that place where you can find the perfect balance." Well Ms. Walter, I must say that I have a sweet spot for you right here, in my heart.

Oh, Ms. Walter - one day I will tame your wild and wanton ways...

 

The Wingnut Factory is Under New Management...

 

I thought of something yesterday while I watching the news. Now that John McCain is the Republican presidential candidate, he is in charge of the whole Republican party - The same party that tried to crush his campaign and said that they didn't like him very much in no uncertain terms. I wonder what's going on behind closed doors at the wingnut factory these days...

 

They Call Him "Ace" McCain

 

There can be no doubt that John McCain is an American hero for serving his country in a time of war, and for the brutal and horrific five and a half years that he spent as a POW. What is perhaps hitherto unknown to the American public is that McCain is also considered an "ace," not because he destroyed five enemy aircraft, but because as a pilot in the employ of the United States Navy he destroyed five of America's aircraft.

McCain never shot down a single enemy aircraft, but his consistant record of destroying American aircraft makes him an enemy ace. Read this fascinating article at findarticles.com, via Oliver Willis.

 

What Was On TV Last Night

 

The Cerebrum Communicator
"The President's Analyst" opening titles
A poignant moment with Godfrey Cambridge
Godfrey Cambridge Part 2: Moral Relativism
"Now be a good boy, and enjoy your heritage..."

Last night Turner Classic Movies ran the film "The President's Analyst". I had only a vague memory of watching part of it late at night a long time ago, so I thought that I would give it another chance. What a great movie! It's a tongue-in-cheek 60's spy spoof, with more sophisticated political satire than you might see in films like "In Like Flint" and "Casino Royale". (There is no sense in my writing a synopsis of the film, as there are already so many versions available on the internet. You can read a fine synopsis of the film on Wikipedia, for example.)

The film is also remarkable in that it accurately predicts the present issues that face the American public with the telecom industry. Watch this clip! It's eerie - And some of the dialog is downright spooky!

Kropotkin: Are you trying to tell me every phone in the country is tapped?
Masters: That's what's in my head.
Kropotkin: Don, this is America, not Russia!

James Coburn stars, but through most of the film he plays straight man to the comedic characters played by Arte Johnson, Godfrey Cambridge, and Severn Darden (The mutant leader in "Battle for the Planet of the Apes").

The film spoofs Cold War paranoia, patriotism, American culture and psychiatrists. As the film progresses you find that the loyalties of the all characters are impossibly skewed and insane. The plot does meander a bit, and I think that there was definitely room for more miniskirts and go go boots - but overall I thought it was a very good movie.

UPDATE: Johnny Yen has a post about the film as well!

 

Thing Love

 

Thing Love

 

The Remarkable Singing Talents of the Brady Kids!

 

No time for blogging today! I am busy getting to know the voters. They're helping me with my upcoming caucus! In the meantime you can watch these swell videos - I've got clips of the Brady Kids singing "Time To Change" (That's the episode where Peter Brady's voice changed), "Sunshine Day" (Marcia-licious!), "Keep on Movin'" (Fancy footwork and groovy outfits!), and a rather disturbing video of Peter Brady's volcano "Erupting" all over Marcia and her friends. (Sorry kids - this clip is for adults only!)

UPDATE: Übermilf: has supplied a link to the greatest Brady Bunch MP3 EVER!

 

The Mystery of the Nixon Tapes's Missing 18 Minutes Explained

 
 

Zaius Nation Goes From a Complete Unknown to Merely Very Obscure!

 

Over 200,000 Customers Served! I would like to thank all of my customers from the bottom of my heart. I would like to especially thank my running mate, Germaine Gregarious, and all of the candidates for 2008, Dr. Monkerstein, Samurai Frog, Dr. Smith, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, Sleestak, I, Splotchy, GETkristiLOVE, Evil Dictator, Fluke Starbucker, Professor Xavier, Tony Stark, and of course the official poet laureate of the Zaius/Gregarious campaign, Freida Bee, and the official spokesperson for the Zaius/Gregarious campaign, Sandra Lou! Viva la Revolution!

I would also like to thank Angry Ballerina, Anaïs Nohant, The Aristocrats, Atomic Romance, Aunt Dahlia, Badtux the Snarky Penguin, Beautiful Day Rule, Beginning to Bird, Bella Rossa, Blue Gal, Cap'n Dyke, Pirate Queen, Capitol Punishment, Carnival of the Liberals, Chicken Head, Circle Jerk at the Square Dance, Comrade Kevin's Chrestomathy, Darkblack, Darwin's Dagger, The Dean's Office, Devilham's Attic, DistributorCap NY, Electronic Cerebrectomy, Eli Lyons, Evil Spock, Five Public Opinions, FranIAm, Freida Bee, Germaine Gregarious, Get-Your-Zs, The Great Endarkenment, Here Comes Johnny Yen Again, House of the Rising Sons, I Am Bossy, I Am Jacks Non-Blog, Ice Station Tango, I, Splotchy, I Make No Promises, Impeachment and Other Dreams, The Inconvienent Truth, Jazz from Hell, Jess Wundrun, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, Jon Swift, Jonestown, Kelly the Little Black Dog, Kimonomomo, L'ennui mélodieux, Lady, That's My Skull, Last Left Turn Before Hooterville, Les Enrages.org, The Liberal Coalition, Liberality, Like Kryptonite To Stupid, Luminiferous Ether, Maui Girl, Mental Detritus, Midnight/Noise, Mock, Paper, Scissors, Mondo Marco, Monkey Muck, Morning Martini, My Two Sense, MWB's World, Neural Gourmet, Neccoland, The Needs of the Few, The Nefarious Lair of LGPPP, Inc., No Smoking in the Skull Cave, A Noble Undoing, Omnipotent Poobah, the Opinion Mill, The Otherwhirled, Patriotboy, Phydeaux Speaks, Pidomon's Posts, PoliTits, Rabbits, Toyen, and so forth, Republic of Sestakastan, Scholars and Rogues, Silly Humans, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, Some Guy's Blog, Spocko's Brain [ 2 ]. spiiderweb, Stump Lane, This Is It, Two Minutes In The Box, Übermilf, Unruly Mob/Les Enrages, Vagabond Scholar, Yikes! [ 2 ]. Wink Studios, Witches and Scientists, Westcoast Walker, Wondertrash, Wyldth1ng, Get-Your-Zs.

M.Yu at Jade Gate (adults only!) has added this swell poem in the comments:

Red hair and brains too,
who would not like to be like you?
Monkeys are cool, but Apes are great,
Dr.Zaius and Germaine will win in '08!

Thanks, M.Yu!

 

Annoying Anonymous Comments From bestmishu.com

 

I am turning off anonymous comments on this blog for awhile because I keep getting these strange comments. Normally I just delete annoying comments, but these comments make IE go kind of haywire. In IE the comments look like little squares, representing characters from a charset that I don't have installed my hard drive.



In Firefox the unreadable characters look like question marks. I was curious as to who was making these annoying comments, so I looked at the source code, and this is what it looked like:

It's just a series of links to a Chinese website. So I figured that I would take a look at the website, and see what all the fuss was about. I expected to hit a wall of spyware, but didn't see any obvious sign of any. The site just looks like bunch of rather boring looking links.

(Click to enlarge.) At this point I pretty much lost interest, but then I noticed an interesting bit at the bottom...

The website is apparently partnered in some way with the "China Respiratory Network", the "China Skin Network", and the "Cancer Rehabilitation Network". It would seem that now that China has all of the "big kid" problems associated with pollution, they have also inherited some of the "big kid" diseases that come with it. It's not really very funny I guess, but I also loved what must have been a mistranslation of the title of a government official - The "Secretary of Good".

 

Poetry Corner, With Professor Zira's nephew, Lucius

 

I now present, for your philosophical and cultural edification, some examples of poetry written by that annoying little twerp in the office Professor Zira's very talented nephew, Lucius. He is not as talented as the wonderful Freida Bee (official poet laureate of the Zaius/Gregarious campaign), but he does seem to have certain bothersome lilting quality.

Shrug, Just Once
A whispered melody freezes the winds
across the slopes of our holy land
still haunted by the sleepy ghosts
of a dreamers what might have been
endlessly defending a golden harp
whose silken strings may never be strung
for if fate would guide her hand to find them
a single note would shake the world and to an end
religions would surrender, and nations would crumble
and that is why we leave Atlas, alone and forever humble

A Moment Stolen
Stars shined down and displayed the burning scars
the mind of a giant, chopped down from forced hours
lips chapped from lies, licked by a liars tongue
deceiver of your own love, destroyer of chance
your heart never slept, wrapped tight with lust
ask yourself truthfully, was it worth one last touch?


Apollo's Chosen
a princess frozen in her chosen abyss
eyes steadfastfully fixed, her trapped mouth frowns
from above the warmth of a lovers touch floats down
gaze locked ears shut, the snow in hand eternally clutched
ignorance her bliss, fear gripping her icy reach
cannot realize, cannot comprehend, no, not this one
his heart protected, hers shunned... by the beauty of the sun

Dr. Zaius: Ah, that hits the spot. I feel
culturally enriched already!