Minister of Science and Chief Protector of the Faith

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

But remember...

Watch out for all of those amatuer drinkers...

Because their wacky antics...

Can lead to disaster.

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Lush Nagahyde Interior of Senator Jim DeMint

I thought that it was pretty funny when Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC) started a rift in his own party by endorsing the ultra-conservative tea party candidates in critical congressional and gubernatorial elections and attacking the moderate wings of the GOP...

I thought it was amusing when Senator DeMint denied claims that he wasn't countermanding U.S. policy towards Honduras during a trip there, instead saying that he was just taking a break, "swapped out the ties and speeches for swim trunks and sunblock" with three male companions from Congress...

I got a chuckle when Seantor DeMint said that he would continue to block the confirmation of Obama's nominee, Erroll Southers, to oversee a division of the Department of Homeland Security that oversees airport security because he says that Southers would Promote unions, which are a threat to airport security and would support terrorists... [ 2 ]

But in light of the recent successes in the Senate regarding the health care bill, I'm still getting a giggle at his earlier declaration: "If we're able to stop Obama on [health care reform], it will be his Waterloo..." [ 2, 3 ]

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The Moderm Face of Terrorism: It's All About the Underpants!

Despite the caterwauling from the media, I refuse to be frightened of some foolish al-Qaeda terrorist with explosive underpants.

Why, Germaine Gregarious has underpants that are far more explosive than those worn by that inept little nitwit...

And so do I, for that matter.

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An Alternate Version of the Short Film "Barrista", by Pen Ward

No time for blogging today! I'm busy working on some revolutionary budget proposals that could cut our country's expenditures in half! (I haven't quite worked out all of the details yet, but I'm sure that I can figure it out as I go along!) In the meantime you can watch this alternate version of the short film "Barrista", by Pen Ward. You can also watch the original film, "Barrista" by Pen Ward, to compare the two. (Hey! If this works out alright, it could be a great way to lose weight without dieting!)


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Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Yuletide greetings, everyone!

I have a special Christmas video for you...


Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas From the Awesome Trifecta of Blonde FOX News Analysts


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Senate Passes Health Bill

Yay! On this was born a senate bill that will kill thousands of innocent Americans with Death Panels!

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A Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer

No time for blogging today! We have finally got most of the Christmas ornaments up on the west wing. Now for the entry hall! But before we tackle that project, I wanted to take this extra christmasy moment to share with you a particular Christmas Carol by Tom Lehrer. I am sure that you will agree that the message conveyed is certainly a most accurate portrayal of the Christmas season as we celebrate it here in the United States.


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Last Minute Shopping Ideas


Still available at Glenn Beck's Website: Baby's Last Christmas Ornament, ONLY $14.95

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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Zaius Nation Products Now Available!

for a long time I have wanted to start my own line of T-shirts and stuff, but I kept putting it off. I have been toying around with the idea on and off for ages, and I have come up with many ideas for all kinds of designs (And not all of them are related to Zaius Nation or chocolate cake, I'll have you know.) I was inspired to finally release my first line of products in my Zazzle Store today because of a comment left by Aironlater of 43-Ideas-Per-Minute on Tuesday, who said: "I have but one question for the good Dr. Where can I get a Zaius Nation t-shirt? This is my one Christmas wish..."

So there you have it! My first Zaius Nation T-shirt. I just put it up last night, in response to Aironlater's query. I hope to have some different T shirt designs in the near future.

I have actually been playing around with coffee mug designs for a while as well. I recomend that these be used with plenty of cream and sugar, of course.

Zazzle also provides this nifty widget thing for me to put on my post. (I think that you can use it to tune in small craft warnings or something. I haven't quite figured it out yet.) As I am new to this whole "internet tubes commerce" thing, I would welcome any advice that you might have regarding how it works and how to maximize important cake and ice cream dividends.

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Project Censored Presents the Top 25 Censored Stories For 2009


1. US Congress Sells Out to Wall Street
2. US Schools are More Segregated Today than in the 1950s
3. Toxic Waste Behind Somali Pirates
4. Nuclear Waste Pools in North Carolina
5. Europe Blocks US Toxic Products
6. Lobbyists Buy Congress
7. Obama’s Military Appointments Have Corrupt Past
8. Bailed out Banks and America’s Wealthiest Cheat IRS Out of Billions
9. US Arms Used for War Crimes in Gaza
10. Ecuador Declares Foreign Debt Illegitimate
11. Private Corporations Profit from the Occupation of Palestine
12. Mysterious Death of Mike Connell—Karl Rove’s Election Thief
13. Katrina’s Hidden Race War
14. Congress Invested in Defense Contracts
15. World Bank’s Carbon Trade Fiasco
16. US Repression of Haiti Continues
17. The ICC Facilitates US Covert War in Sudan
18. Ecuador’s Constitutional Rights of Nature
19. Bank Bailout Recipients Spent to Defeat Labor
20. Secret Control of the Presidential Debates
21. Recession Causes States to Cut Welfare
22. Obama’s Trilateral Commission Team
23. Activists Slam World Water Forum as a Corporate-Driven Fraud
24. Dollar Glut Finances US Military Expansion
25. Fast Track Oil Exploitation in Western Amazon

Project Censored presents the top 25 censored stories for 2009, via Blue Gal.

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Really Scary German Shopping Video

No time for blogging today! I am busy searching for the elusive Bigfoot! (Personally, I think the whole this is a myth. I've looked high and low, and I can't find him anywhere!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video about the many dangers that can happen while shopping, "Gewalt ist keine Lösung". (Are Sasquatchapusses anything like Wookies, I wonder?)

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Prayertime Fun With Gemaine Gregarious!

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy trying to imagine different ways in which we can help pray for Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK), who said that 'people ought to pray' that a senator 'can't make the vote tonight'. The Senate is expected to vote to proceed on an expected Christmas Eve vote on final passage on the health care bill. Speaking on the Senate floor, Senator Tom Coburn expressed his hope that a Senator would not be able to make the vote: "What the American people ought to pray is that somebody can’t make the vote tonight. That's what they ought to pray." [ 2 ]

I must say that I find it refreshing to hear such a unique interpretation of what a person should pray (prey?) for during this festive holiday season. I say that if Senator Coburn wants to help out the Democrats through prayer, perhaps we should return the favor! Senator Coburn - If you want to scratch our back, we'll scratch yours.

UPDATE: Aironlater of 43-Ideas-Per-Minute has found the ultimate follow up to this video.


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Osama Bin Neocon

This is worth reposting. I found this a few years ago on Newt Gingrich's website in the comments section.

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The Plan


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Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Progressive Case For Passing the Senate Health Bill


[...] All of us are anxious to see the final language from the Senate. And a final bill must ensure that the subsidies provided are sufficient to make insurance truly affordable for working families. But based on what we know, here are my top ten reasons for why progressives should support the Senate passing the bill:

1. Largest Expansion Of Coverage Since Medicare’s Creation: Thirty-one million previously uninsured Americans will have insurance.

2. Low/Middle Income Americans Will Not Go Without Coverage: For low-income Americans struggling near the poverty line, the bill represents the largest single expansion of Medicaid since its inception. Combined with subsidies for middle income families, the bill’s provisions will ensure that working class Americans will no longer go without basic health care coverage.

3. Insurance Companies Will Never Be Able to Drop or Deny You Coverage Because You Are Sick: Insurers can no longer deny coverage because of a pre-existing condition. They can’t rescind coverage or impose lifetime or annual limits on care. Significantly, the bill also ends insurer discrimination against women — who currently pay as much as 48% more for coverage than men — and gives them access preventive services with no cost sharing.

4. Lowers Premiums For Families: The Senate bill could lower premiums for the overall population by 8.4%. For the subsidized population, premiums would decrease even more dramatically. According to the CBO, “the amount that subsidized enrollees would pay for non-group coverage would be roughly 56 percent to 59 percent lower, on average than the nongroup premiums charged under current law.”

5. Invests in Keeping People Healthy: The bill creates a Prevention and Public Health Fund to expand and sustain funding for public prevention programs that prevent disease and promote wellness.

6. Insurers Can’t Offer Subprime Health Care: Insurers operating in the individual and small group markets will no longer sell subprime policies that deny coverage when illness strikes and you need it most. Everyone will be offered an essential benefits package of comprehensive benefits.

7. Helps Businesses Afford Coverage: Small employers can take advantage of large risk pools by purchasing coverage through the bill’s state-based exchanges. Employers with no more than 25 employees would receive a tax credit to help them provide coverage to their employees. The bill also establishes a temporary reinsurance program for employers providing coverage to retirees over the age of 55 who are not eligible for Medicare.

8. Improves Medicare: The bill eliminates the waste and fraud in the Medicare system, gets rid of the special subsidy to private insurers participating in Medicare Advantage and extends the life of the Medicare trust fund by 9 years. It also closes the doughnut hole that affected 3.4 seniors enrolled in Medicare Part D in 2008.

9. Reduces The Deficit: Not only would the bill expand coverage to 30 million Americans without adding to the nation debt, it would also reduce the deficit by up to $409 billion over 10 years.

10. Reduces National Health Spending: A CAP-Commonwealth Fund analysis concludes the bill could reduce overall spending by close to $683 billion over 10 years – with the potential to save families $2,500. Even the most conservative government estimates conclude that the bill would reduce national health care expenditures by at least 0.3% by 2019.


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A Girl After My Own Heart

My tribute to the lovely and deadly Vulnavia.

The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971): Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972): Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

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What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid of Christmas? 'Claus-trophobic!'

Dr. Zaius is at the North Pole!
No time for blogging today! I am helping Santa get ready for Christmas. We are busy fighting the scourge of poisonous Chinese toys over here, so you don't have to fight them over there!

The elves have been really friendly since the moment I got here. At lunchtime they let me have a whole table all to myself! And they seem to be very concerned about my welfare - They keep asking me if I'm not getting homesick!

Also, I think that I might be getting a promotion, because several of the elves in my department have started a petition requesting that I get moved to a different department! I think that it is just swell that we are getting along so well.

I really feel like I'm getting the hang of this toy making stuff, too. I must be doing really well - Santa said that if he continues to see this level of quality in my work, he will send me home early! (Oops! I'm sorry - Did I get some red paint on your green coat? Let me wipe that off for you with this rag...Gosh, that's just made it worse, hasn't it?)

Gotta go! The elves say that want me to help them find a left handed monkey wrench!

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

208 Pictures of Edie Sedgewick


Here are 208 Pictures of Edie Sedgewick that I have collected. I have a feeling that Edie Sedgwick would probably be very annoying to meet in person, but after learning about her life I can't help but have a certain voyeristic curiosity about her.

I have never really been a big fan of Andy Warhol. I always thought that he was kind of a lame one-joke wonder. Calling a painting of a Campbell's soup can "art" is funny the first time around, but it gets tired pretty quick. I never really learned much about the man until a friend of mine insisted I read the book "Edie" by Jean Stein and George Plimpton. It was a fairly thick hardback, so I was surprised at how quickly I finished it.

It turned out to be one of those books that you can't stop reading. It was fascinating, not only the story but the way that the book was laid out. I learned more about Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol than I ever thought that I would want to know.

By the end of the book, you wish there could be some sort of happy ending. It's a very sad and lonely book. There are no uplifting moments or philosophical events that strengthen or embolden the character. It is like watching the Titanic slowly sink into the sunset. There is nothing that can be done about it.

It is a story of a poor little rich girl who got lost in the seedy wonderland of Andy Warhol's Factory in the 60's. The book is about Edie's rise to fame and subsequent downfall into obscurity. I find the story of Edie Sedgwick far more interesting than any of the hype about Andy Warhol.

So many books are about men succeeding against all odds against a seemingly endless sea of troubles, or sometimes you even find books about a woman succeeding against all odds against a seemingly endless sea of troubles. This is a book about an endless sea of troubles and the woman who becomes entirely consumed by them.

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Al Qaeda Offers 'Condolences' For Their Innocent Victims

"An al Qaeda spokesman Adam Gadahn released a video message in English offering condolences to its 'unintended Muslim victims' killed in attacks in Afghanistan, Pakistan and elsewhere." CNN

This is a public relations ploy that is so shrewd and cunning that al Qaeda may have actually stolen it from the Republican playbook...

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A Can of Worms Won't Open Itself

This would be a whole lot funnier...

If there wasn't so much of this going on.

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Trilobite Terror

I hate it when that happens...

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Sunday, December 13, 2009

This Is an Outrage!



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Shatner Gets Served!


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Great Moments in Comic Book History: Dr. Doom Steals the Silver Surfer's Surf Board

Hang ten, Doom Doggie!

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Health Care Reform Seems To Be Putting It's Best Foot Forward

I could be wrong, but it would seem that health care reform has gone from this...

To this...

So perhaps congratulations are in order.

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Drat, Drat and Double Drat!

Drat! I freakin' hate snow...

And so does Captain Nemo.

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Girlie, Beware!

My Romantic Adventures #70, Oct. 1956

There are so many men - and all so different! Some have wonderful qualities and would make perfect husbands - But there are others who can spoil your happiness! If you should meet any of these - Girlie, Beware!

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Saturday, December 05, 2009

Balloon Boy


My friend George from the godless minds-eye meatloaf mindscapes of the Golden State of Californication sent me this.

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Diana Rigg and the Emma Peeler


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Thursday, December 03, 2009

Pastor Swank: "Palin Represents a Biblical Way of Life, Obama Represents a Satanic Cult"


Pastor J. Grant Swank Jr. of the New Hope Church has written an interesting opinion piece for the conservative website [ 2, 3, 5, 6 ] which compares the religious beliefs of President Barack Obama and former Govenor Sarah Palin, and makes a clear endorsement for one of the two political figures.

Sarah Palin's deity is the God of the Bible. Her personal Savior is Jesus Christ. Her holy writ is the infallible, inerrant Bible. Her hope for eternity is heaven as described in the Word of God. Her hope for the present is God's will activated in her dedication.

Barack Hussein Obama's deity is the god of the Koran — Allah. His personal savior is Allah, though he professes to be a Protestant via his membership in the theologically liberal United Church of Christ (Congregational / UCC). That would make him out to be a witness to Jesus Christ; of course, that is bogus, including his testimony that at an altar at Chicago's Trinity UCC he discovered Christ. If it was Christ, it is not the Christ of the New Testament.


This cancer sore Obama is the most dangerous occurrence ever in all the Republic's history for it promises us our doom.

Then comes along Sarah Palin. What does she hold out for the populace?

She speaks of common sense politics, a Christian heritage history continuance, reliance upon the God of Scripture, actual hope in prayer and the Holy Spirit's guidance in one's personal faith life.

She comes from a biblical base regarding worship gatherings. It is not theological liberalism as touted in the United Church of Christ, Episcopal Church, Anglican Church, United Church of Canada, Unitarianism, Evangelical (a misnomer) Lutheran Church of America and other anti-Christ labels.

She worships with Christians who seek to live out the Bible, confess to following Christ as personal Redeemer, pray daily, conduct family devotions, believe in miracles, repent of their sins and then yearn to go forth in holiness.

Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult.

America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama. Of course, in weeks and months to come, someone else may log in to sideline Palin. But at the moment, it is Palin versus Obama.


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A Snack? Am I Lucky or What?!?!?


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Tuesday, December 01, 2009

This Still Totally Cracks Me Up


Asked by former senator and current radio host Fred Thompson if he had given any thought to running for president in 2012, Dobbs replied: "Yes, is the answer." [ 2 ]

And why was Lou Dobbs fired from CNN? It's all Obama's fault!

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Pins and Needles

We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop... [ 1, 2 ]

But in the meantime we can all take comfort by reading this.

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What's Cookin' With Dr. Zaius

No time for blogging today! I am too busy enjoying a nice warm bath with these lovely native girls. I think that I'm ready to get out now, though - The water is getting awfully hot, and I am getting far pruney. (I think that is entirely enough bath salts, my dear!) In the meantime, you can watch this important work related video. What's that, girls? You're getting ready for dinner? Jeepers! I hope that I'm invited!

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